NexusFi: Find Your Edge


Home Menu

 





3 Holy Men and a Bear


Discussion in Jokes

Updated
    1. trending_up 2,332 views
    2. thumb_up 7 thanks given
    3. group 2 followers
    1. forum 1 posts
    2. attach_file 0 attachments




 
Search this Thread

3 Holy Men and a Bear

  #1 (permalink)
 
kbit's Avatar
 kbit 
Aurora, Il USA
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: TradeStation
Trading: futures
Posts: 5,854 since Nov 2010
Thanks Given: 3,295
Thanks Received: 3,364

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.


Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.


'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb.

The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'



Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.



In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to
read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.

So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!


The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.


The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start.

Started this thread Reply With Quote

Can you help answer these questions
from other members on NexusFi?
MC PL editor upgrade
MultiCharts
Trade idea based off three indicators.
Traders Hideout
Cheap historycal L1 data for stocks
Stocks and ETFs
REcommedations for programming help
Sierra Chart
Better Renko Gaps
The Elite Circle
 
  #2 (permalink)
 Sam21 
Helsinki, Finland
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: Sierra
Posts: 98 since Sep 2015
Thanks Given: 299
Thanks Received: 96

More people need to listen to jokes like these It got me laughing for two minutes straight just thinking of the bears. Thanks for sharing .

Visit my NexusFi Trade Journal Reply With Quote
Thanked by:




Last Updated on September 29, 2015


© 2024 NexusFi™, s.a., All Rights Reserved.
Av Ricardo J. Alfaro, Century Tower, Panama City, Panama, Ph: +507 833-9432 (Panama and Intl), +1 888-312-3001 (USA and Canada)
All information is for educational use only and is not investment advice. There is a substantial risk of loss in trading commodity futures, stocks, options and foreign exchange products. Past performance is not indicative of future results.
About Us - Contact Us - Site Rules, Acceptable Use, and Terms and Conditions - Privacy Policy - Downloads - Top
no new posts