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Hi Guys.
2012 is approaching and i want to break free from the chains of the past.
I have thrown money away with no respect. I have over leveraged myself past my limit without a second thought. I have blown profits away and wiped 50% off my account with a few trades one after the other all on 1 & 5 minute time frame. I have done all this whilst at work risking my job and families future.
To summarise i now realise i am a min schizo when i use 1&5 min charts.
This is going to stop from today as i have never in the past or could ever imagine overtrading/leveraging on the higher time frames.
Thus i will place all my trades on this forum allong with notes for the world to see
i hold myself accountable from today onwards and hope this process will make me a slower and more profitable trader.
Today is the 24th Dec and i need to wright this stuff down before i get out of the mood im in.
To be honest i feel crap! Why do i feel crap, well its because i know what i need to do but i keep NOT doing it!
I have read enough books and studied this forum to understand that success comes when i detach and have full controll of myself.
Strange as i preach to others the wise words i read, and i even understand that to win you must master loosing first!
Well i have lost enough times!! The ironic thing is that my trading results on a high time frame have been very low, but on a low time frame has been almost amazing. Except for the 3-4 single trades that took all my hope away from me!
Why do i do so well to start but then fully mess up big time. I feel its the story of my life!
I have come to see that i am so close to having things the way they should be, but then a moment of madness comes along and takes it all away. ( how can a few seconds which are so insignificant destroy years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
I now accept that this pattern also replicates itself in all areas of my life. No BULL i mean it!!
My work is the same and my faith is the same! It all goes good to start and then i cant sustain it as i start looking elsewhere.
2011 has been awesome for my training, i have trained 3 times a week consistently for the whole year and feel amazing (Brazilian Jui-Jitsu). I didnt thing i could train so consistently but i did, you could say i nailed the health and sport part of my life in 2011 which will continue for ever! (i went training no matter how i felt, i didnt think about it but just went training and pushed myself until i almost vomited! but the problem is i cant push trading. When i have tried to push trading i have caused damage! Thus 2012 is the year that i wont care about my trading.)
2012 i will not care about my trading!
Yes, i will just show up to the charts ( eg, just show up for training), i will not place any strain on myself by lowering the time frame (eg will not eat crap during the day causing me to feel heavy and loose my fitness thus getting out of breath while i am rolling on the matts) and i wont care about any financial expectations from my trading ( eg expect to attain a higher belt grading without being able to control the lower level people in the class first).
i want 2012 to be the year that i have controll over myself.
I have been into personal development and mind books for a few years. I accept i have 100% responsibility for my actions, but it is taking longer than i thought to put it into action. Thus i am going to take the teaching of Dan Hardy & The Compound Effect's teachings into action. ( i cant recommend the audio book enough, put all my years of seminars and books and wisdom into a recomendation and it's the audio book: Darren Hardy's The Compound Effect (dont read a book, listen to an audio while driving instead, its less intensive on the mind!)
Well lets see how i get on. I can say its Dans audio that has helped me more than anything i have ever known. In fact i am not even going to read any other book until i actually get a gripp of myself and understand its the small things i do which are being COMPOUNDED to work against me.
I know i am just gippering crap, well i am not wrighting for you to read but for me to feel then read. this stuff is going to help me more than anyone else.
It starts with the words you use in your expressing things vocally and subconsciously in my opinion.
Watch the words you use in every interaction and you will find the trail back to the issue.
I trained in BJJ for 4.5 years back in the 90's before I had surgery (pretty serious) so I can't do it anymore, but my kid will be a blackbelt before he is 20.
Thanks for sharing, and I believe that honestly the longer timeframes are much better to trade for most people. But, some of us are gluttons for punishment and choose to climb K2 out of the gates.
HAPPY TRADING!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 
