A man dies and goes straight to hell for having lived a sinful life, and upon his arrival Satan asks him, "Do you like to drink?"
"Absolutely," says the man.
"Well, you'll love Thursdays then," says Satan. "All we do is drink beer, whiskey, vodka - anything you want. And you're dead, so there's no hangover."
"Sweet!" says the man.
"Do you like drugs? asks Satan. "Because it's same deal on Friday - all the drugs you can possibly take without any side effects."
"Awesome!" says the man. "There has to be some catch to all of this?"
"Not at all," says Satan. "You're gay, right?"
"No," says the man.
"Not even a little bit gay?" Satan asks.
"Not at all," says the man. "Oh, well, then Saturdays are going to be a little rough!"