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David's Trading Journal Chapter 2


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David's Trading Journal Chapter 2

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  #51 (permalink)
 Massive l 
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@David_R I went through the lowest of the lows several times on my path. I can't go into it because it was so crazy and it's personal.
I know what you're feeling. It's indescribable. Knowing you can do this because you're smart enough and you've put in the time.
Sacrificed everything and still fail. But if you believe you can do it then pick yourself up and get back in the saddle. Don't give up
unless you know without a doubt that is the answer.

I'm not sure what faults you have but mine was holding losers. I could win or lose and it wouldn't matter emotionally. But all it would take was one
trade with a lapse in judgement and I'd give up a week's worth of gains. After 10 years I finally started using OCO orders.
A simple change with a huge impact on my success. You might just be off on one thing Think about what's holding you back from trading successfully.
It might be hard it might be easy. I don't know. I believed that I had an advantage not using stops! I was stealth, no one could see me. lololol
what a joke. But I finally realized it was my problem. Nobody gives a shit about my orders. My 2 and 3 lot trades mean nothing to anyone but me.

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  #52 (permalink)
 David_R 
Legendary Market Wizard
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Massive l View Post
@David_R I went through the lowest of the lows several times on my path. I can't go into it because it was so crazy and it's personal.
I know what you're feeling. It's indescribable. Knowing you can do this because you're smart enough and you've put in the time.
Sacrificed everything and still fail. But if you believe you can do it then pick yourself up and get back in the saddle. Don't give up
unless you know without a doubt that is the answer.

I'm not sure what faults you have but mine was holding losers. I could win or lose and it wouldn't matter emotionally. But all it would take was one
trade with a lapse in judgement and I'd give up a week's worth of gains. After 10 years I finally started using OCO orders.
A simple change with a huge impact on my success. You might just be off on one thing Think about what's holding you back from trading successfully.
It might be hard it might be easy. I don't know. I believed that I had an advantage not using stops! I was stealth, no one could see me. lololol
what a joke. But I finally realized it was my problem. Nobody gives a shit about my orders. My 2 and 3 lot trades mean nothing to anyone but me.

Massive,

Appreciate the feedback. It's probably more than one thing with me. I think years ago it could have been one thing, or maybe two, but as the years have gone by I think I've gained more weakness. Probably my biggest issue these days is I feel as though I trade scared. Not because the size is too big, but because I'm extremely fearful of loss. It's almost as if I expect every trade I take to lose and it feels that way from the moment I enter. If the trade succeeds I'm immediately looking for another trade and rush it ultimately to get stopped out. Then the anger of loss and the need to make the money back sets in, so it's off to the gambling and not trading. Entering and exiting. Entering and exiting until what was made on the first trade is gone, or worse, I'm down on the day. Then it's on to trying to get back where I was before F-ing up. All this is exhausting, frustrating, stressful and exactly what happened today. I've been told over and over to walk away, limit the number of trades I take, if I lose a certain amount stop trading and lots of other excellent advice that I seem totally incapable of employing. My conclusion is that I'm not trader, but a wannabe trader. I'm not a professional, but a hack I should probably quit, but the desire of the potential freedom is intense. I've worked for corporations for over 40 years and can't stand their bullshit. The lure of trading for a living and separating myself from these companies is so strong that I keep going even after 20 years and tens of thousands of dollars in losses. I've stopped in the passed and not traded for extended periods of time, then I look at the charts and say, "I can trade that". Then i realize that the way the market looked yesterday doesn't mean it will look like that tomorrow, or the next day.

I've tried to get funded via Topstep, Leeloo, Earn2trade and one-up trader thinking one of them will work. Over 40 failed combines later I'm still trying.
I don't have the answer, or maybe I do and am incapable of executing the answer. I've now got very bad habits engrained in me and worried they can't be broken..

My latest post, which I will make after I submit this response, are trades I took today and they match what I described above.
Thanks again.

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  #53 (permalink)
 David_R 
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The 20 trade experiment is out the window.it only took one shit day for that to happen. Here are trades for today. My intention, as always is to not be impulsive. You will see from the chart that I failed in that regard.
110521_trade_1_NQ


110521_trads_2-6


110521_trade_7-8_NQ

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  #54 (permalink)
 Mich62 
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@David_R, I think the charts you posted are a bad example of what you are describing. If you have 5 trades losing all the profit from 1 trade you have in essence an 1 to 5 Risk to Reward which is excellent. You kept your losers in check and let your winners run. Well done! We all know how difficult that is. Seriously, I don't see the problem. Overtrading? Last week I had one day with over 50 trades. So what? After fees I made $2 or so per contract (expectancy). Meaning the more I trade the more I earn. Of course, I paid a lot of fees but as long as I am net profitable who cares.

I have seen worse and to be honest this doesn't look too bad at all. You will always have losers and sometimes you get whipsawed trying to find an entry. That's the price you pay for getting to play. The entries that worked today you played very good and made up for the losses, right?

You got whipsawed in what turned out to be a pullback (but limited your losses). Now that should not be to difficult to work on. How to recognize a (complex) pullback (market structure) or congestion/range and stay out of it. Wait for price to choose a direction and trade the move like you did very well in trades 1, 6 and 8. Trade 7 was a wrong entry. You saw it in time and you cut it, nothing lost. You did not give the trade some extra room and then hoping it will come back.

You need to see the things you did right. Don't be too negative, focus on what went well and the knowledge and experience you already gained. Try to learn from your losers by analyzing in depth.
Leave the shit behind you on what it already cost you and so on. Focus on the next step, small improvements every day, there is always tomorrow.

-Michel

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  #55 (permalink)
 cory 
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David_R View Post
.. I expect every trade I take to lose and it feels that way from the moment I enter...
...

I expect "they" will trick me to enter in the wrong direction as @hyperscalper theorizes so I "space" the order out up to 3 micro contracts. This way the fear of 'I am driving in the wrong traffic' already built in.

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