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Yeah I edited that post and got more specific about what happened. Essentially, I cared a lot less about losing today (no coffee, way less anxiety), and over-traded a range-y market. I acted on weak signals in an anticipatory manner with the last 3 trades. I was mad about this immediately after, but I went for a run and got my mind together and realized I didn't even hit my max daily loss limit. Besides the uncharacteristic over-trading, I followed my rules. I also realized I just need to adjust my actions to this calmer mind.
It's all good. I won't let this mistake get past me.
Also...your journal has been really good lately! There has been good information that most traders would find interesting AND it seems like you've been progressing...Just thought I would send some kudos over your way while we are chatting.
I really appreciate it. I think I've done well in terms of keeping my losses small (besides today) earlier this week, and now in firmly re-implementing "hold trades no matter what." These two things are looking up for me, despite me being in a drawdown right now. I have faith that if I stick to my rules, and if I act on the right signals / be selective, that I'll make real progress soon. I know I can't cheat "the process" (trading as a whole), and that learning how to do the right things naturally takes awhile. I've also noticed that despite losing trade after trade, I'm getting better at handling losses / coming back psychologically. In losing, there's opportunity to build grit and resilience, and to resolve mistakes. It's becoming automatic to re-approach the prospect of re-immersing myself in trading not even a half hour after losing.
I'm glad you find my journal interesting and I hope you get as much out of it as I do. I'll keep it real.
This really jumped out at me. I have been in this situation so many times this year.
I don't know if these re-tries work out for you sometimes, but for me I've found that I never seem to come out with great results when I get into this type of situation. I've been working really hard to stop and reset when I feel one of these patterns starting. It may not be as big of an issue for you, but this was probably the second-most difficult thing I've had to work on adjusting. Again, your read of the market may be different, and if so, please disregard my PTSD!
You seem to be doing a lot of the right things, you definitely have a very strong mental game! Keep up the awesome work, @Zachary Standley
In the past, re-entries of trades with the same premise have worked out for me multiple times (Week 2 of MES trading comes to mind), but only in trending conditions. Today was a weird case though, because I was carefree of risk to the point of bypassing weak signals from the footprint in anticipation of this move. Once again and out of habit, I lost sight of what was going on in the moment, while focusing on what could happen.
I remember thinking that I was still so far away from my max daily loss limit, so it was OK to go for this move at my discretion. This is clearly distorted thinking. As for the over-trading itself, I usually don't make this kind of mistake because I'm ordinarily quite risk-averse. I was trading like a different person this morning- I can't believe the difference in my state of mind without caffeine.
You know, I don't want to focus on too many things at once, but I really ought to implement mindfulness directly into my trading. Had I been paying attention and were mindful at the time, I would've realized what was going on and stopped immediately. Maybe this mindfulness integration into performance should be a bigger priority. Like mentioned many times before, I do meditate and breathe before trading, but that attention changes once I see the opens volatility. I infrequently am reminded by my thoughts that I should be mindful, and I come to, but most of the time I'm too absorbed by price action, and I'm operating automatically- and as a beginner trader with some bad habits, that's not a good thing.
Despite every apparent negative thing, these experiences are just one piece of the puzzle towards consistency. I really appreciate all your words, thank you @snax, and read on @bobwest!
Trade 1 had a good relative signal, but I could've waited for more confirmation / waited for stronger selling.
Trade 2 was a bit on the impulsive side: I was trying to capture the rejection move. It was a bad trade because the signal wasn't strong enough, and because I just got stopped out.
Trade 3 was OK in terms of its signal, but once again, I could've waited for more confirmation. The delta was consistent across bearish candles, but there were no outstanding bearish prices.
Trade 4 had just as good a signal as Trade 1.
Overall, today's problem was yesterdays. I wasn't being picky enough with my trades. Honestly, I felt uninhibited and careless about losing money again and just wanted to act on opportunities without the old un-necessary pressure. It's obvious that that same fear is helpful, in that it makes me way more selective with my trades. At this point, I'm just not nearly as concerned with losing, and I'm experiencing the downside of having this attitude. I imagine it's a good place to build from, though.
This problem would be better taken care of if I only allowed myself to act on very strong and dramatic signals in the OrderFlow. I've been slipping in this regard, mostly because of my automatic anticipations. I did this well in Week 5.
To sum up, today was a repeat of yesterday, except I'm not as mad about it because I know I traded foolishly and I'm accountable. I can't blame the market. I just need to get my shit together. This means:
- Not taking 3-4 trades a day. When I trade my best, I'm taking 1-2 trades a day.
- Not taking another trade minutes after losing one.
- Being skeptical of market behavior instead of being opportunistic.
- Trading abnormally strong delta only.
It has been a crazy week. Ever since I started focusing on calming myself down pre-open and during my trading, my attitude and approach has changed towards the market. I will make the necessary adjustments by taking the 4 things above seriously next week. I'm going to come up with particular concrete goals in the meantime.
I have found it hard to read orderflow on rollover day. Yesterday the volume at the RTH open for the ES was about 220k for June and 200k September. About an hour in and things were still pretty evenly split (but now with the September contract having a little more).
A lot of the large orderflow can be hedging/spreading/balancing the books, just doing their own thing, leading to a rotational two sided day.
If reading orderflow you might decide to take the day off, or tend towards a bias of fading the edges of the range until proven otherwise.
If your journal allows it tag today as "Rollover" day, or make a note somewhere, so in three months time when the day starts with volume split across the front month and the next highest volume month you can look back and remind yourself that it was a choppy rotational day.
You do not win as a trader, you just get to play again the next day. If that game doesn’t appeal to you then you should not trade. Gary Norden
