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SoftSoap's NQ Journey - from SoftSoap to SoftGold

  #281 (permalink)
 
SoftSoap's Avatar
 SoftSoap 
Canada
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: NinjaTrader
Broker: InteractiveBrokers
Trading: NQ
Posts: 594 since Aug 2015
Thanks Given: 347
Thanks Received: 1,227

It's taken me some time to be comfortable sharing this on FIO. I went back and forth on whether or not I should talk about it, as it's somewhat personal. But this journal is all about getting to understand myself, accepting who I am, and working on ways to improve myself to become the best trader that I can be. I feel that by sharing this on my FIO journal, I'll be comfortable talking about it when it does impact my trading, which will lead me to make the right changes that will positively impact my trading.

I'm a person that believes that anything is possible. It all depends on whether you are willing to work hard enough or not to accomplish something. This mentality has led to a lot of successes in my personal and professional life, but at a consequence it has taken a toll on my health.

When you try to control as many things as possible you are able to steer in the direction you want to go pretty often, but you start to worry and get anxious about the things that you can't control. After long enough it becomes a habit, and starts to take a bigger toll on you. I knew something was wrong and not too long ago, after some time of speaking with different doctors, I was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Thankfully it's mild. I was given some medication that I've been taking, but it takes a couple of months to have an impact, and it's as low of a dose as I can get.

What is General Anxiety Disorder (GAD)?

Taking a quote from webmd here.


Quoting 
GAD is characterized by excessive, exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events with no obvious reasons for worry. In people with GAD, the worry is often unrealistic or out of proportion for the situation. Daily life becomes a constant state of worry, fear, and dread. Eventually, the anxiety so dominates the person's thinking that it interferes with daily functioning, including work, school, social activities, and relationships...

The key there is no obvious reasons for worry. I get anxious about things that nobody should ever get anxious about, and it has a negative impact on certain parts of my life. A lot of people think that this makes you anti-social or scared of crowds or whatever, but that's not the case at all. That's a different kind of anxiety disorder.

Here's a picture to sum up how crazy things can be sometimes


How does this impact my trading?

Obviously GAD impacts my personal life, but let's get into the meat and potatoes regarding trading. Thankfully the impact on my trading isn't astronomical. I'm not worried every second if I'll be able to take a trade, I'm not worried every second when I'm in a trade if I'll win a trade, I don't get depressed when I lose or any of that.

However, I feel it directly impacts my trading in 2 ways.
  1. Being impatient, suffering from FOMO, etc.
    • When the market is slow or is near my entry points, I get anxious and I want to 'fast forward' to the trade. So I will rush in and get in with a market order, or I will lower my entry point, or I will force a trade. This is probably why I don't do very well in the afternoons and on low range days
    • FOMO I've talked about so much, and while it's not just a GAD thing, GAD probably makes it harder for me to deal with
  2. Being overly tired due to lack of sleep
    • This is one of the biggest things honestly. Sleeping well for me isn't easy. It's hard for me to fall asleep as my mind worries about dumb things, I sleep very lightly and wake up with illogical nightmares, and I end up getting less sleep than usual. I've improved a lot on this over the last year, where I'm mostly getting 5-8 hours of sleep a night, but in the years prior I was sleeping 4-6 hours a night
    • When you are tired your mind doesn't function as well though. Your judgment, emotions, and intuition are impaired. All of that leads to subpar decision making
    • Lack of sleep also has an impact on my eating habits. When I don't get a good sleep, I'm too lazy to make a good and healthy breakfast in the morning. So I'll go until ~ 12EST without having breakfast, after working for ~5 hours. If I'm not feeding my body adequately how can I expect my brain to make adequate decisions?

I've talked a lot about the first point in my journal, so I won't mention it on this post, but I do want to focus on sleep.

Sleep, and what my data says about its empirical impact on my trading

Thankfully, back in August I started tracking how many hours of sleep I got the day before trading, on most days at least. I had a hypothesis that hours of sleep the night before would have an impact on how well I trade. I had no data to back it up, but I just felt strongly about the connection.

And that's what the whole trading improvement process is supposed to be about right? You come up with a hypothesis, you execute while gathering data, and then you prove whether your hypothesis is fact or not. Once you've got the results, then you act on it.

I sliced the data 3 different ways so I could get as accurate of a representation as possible.





The correlation is surprisingly strong

I lost every day that I slept between 4-5 hours, and 75% of the days where I slept 5-6. And then after that, the more sleep I got, the better I did. Just a pretty evident correlation for the most part. With statistics you are going to get some outliers, and my best day ever $-wise was the day after the election. I stayed up all night and woke up very early and only got about 2-3 hours of sleep, but the market was so strong that I was still able to make money. However, this skews my data, but I still get the picture.

Sleep analysis conclusion
I think the trend is pretty obvious. The more I sleep, the better I trade. Cumulatively, I lose money when I sleep less than 6 hours the night before, so I need to aim for AT LEAST 6 hours of sleep a day.
Yes it's possible for me to make money when I sleep less, but that's not what this is about. We are traders. We have a small edge over the market, and that edge can be compromised because we are humans. I can take one trade that will make me alot of money (see outlier on less than 4 hrs of sleep), but this is unlikely statistically speaking. And not just because I 'feel' it, but because my data shows it.

My edge is degraded the less I sleep, plain and simple.

So what am I going to do about it?

There are a couple of things:
  1. Create a new golden rule - Only trade if you slept more than 6 hours of sleep last night. ONLY exception to this rule is if it was trading related and we are in an election-type volatility environment (100+ daily pts with 250K+ volume on NQ)
  2. Move my personal life around to make sleep a priority. Create a goal to be in bed by X time and be asleep by Y time.
  3. Work on my diet and if I'm too tired to prioritize breakfast, I'm too tired to trade.
  4. Prioritize exercising more, at least 3 times a week every week, this will help with sleeping well
  5. Something around mindfulness. I've heard some high performing traders talk about it, and I've also heard that it can help reduce anxiety and improve sleep quality. All things I could use more of!

When I first talked about this with my wife, I was afraid that setting a 'no 6 hours of sleep, no trading' rule would be too extreme. But my goal is to be consistently profitable, and if not sleeping well degrades my edge to the point where I am just giving money back to the market, then why even bother? It would be one thing if I was learning a lot but my learning abilities won't be as good with lack of sleep.

This puts a lot of emphasis on doing something OUTSIDE of trading that will have a HUGE impact inside of trading, and if I want to trade then I will have to prioritize it. As I grow as a trader, I can re-look at this and see if the rule needs to be changed in the future.

Also, this will probably be my last post before Christmas, so Merry Christmas everyone!

Cheers!

Yesterday's excellence is today's standard and tomorrow's mediocrity
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  #282 (permalink)
 
Popsicle's Avatar
 Popsicle 
Pretoria Gauteng
 
Experience: Intermediate
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Trading: NQ
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Thanks for sharing @SoftSoap. I know it takes a lot to share something like this so honestly. But how does the saying go? "A load shared....".

For more mindfulness and even better sleeping, have you tried meditation before? It works well for me. There are quite a few very nice guided meditations out there to help you "switch off" when going to sleep and it is a nice easy transition into meditation.

A merry Christmas and healthy 2017 to you and your family.


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  #283 (permalink)
 
SoftSoap's Avatar
 SoftSoap 
Canada
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: NinjaTrader
Broker: InteractiveBrokers
Trading: NQ
Posts: 594 since Aug 2015
Thanks Given: 347
Thanks Received: 1,227



Popsicle View Post
Thanks for sharing @SoftSoap. I know it takes a lot to share something like this so honestly. But how does the saying go? "A load shared....".

For more mindfulness and even better sleeping, have you tried meditation before? It works well for me. There are quite a few very nice guided meditations out there to help you "switch off" when going to sleep and it is a nice easy transition into meditation.

A merry Christmas and healthy 2017 to you and your family.


Sent from my iPhone using NexusFi mobile app

I haven't but I have heard that it is very helpful, thanks for the suggestion!

I'm working right now on what my 2017 Goals & Objectives are going to be regarding trading, and meditation is something I'm adding in there!

Thanks, you too!

Yesterday's excellence is today's standard and tomorrow's mediocrity
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Thanked by:
  #284 (permalink)
 
Mtype's Avatar
 Mtype 
Hungary
 
Experience: None
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SoftSoap View Post
I'm a person that believes that anything is possible. It all depends on whether you are willing to work hard enough or not to accomplish something. This mentality has led to a lot of successes in my personal and professional life, but at a consequence it has taken a toll on my health.

Hey SoftGold,

That is a truly golden mindset. I happen to have the same belief and it is efficient but it can drive you into the ground from time to time, where the physical, emotional and mental side of things get out of whack. I wholeheartedly agree with @Popsicle that meditation can do truly amazing things for you.

Personally I've tried many different methods and ways of meditations and I found just the simple exercise of sitting silently and watching the breath an excellent way to relax . You see that focuses your mind and locks it into the present moment. The mind (some call it the monkey) wants to jump into the future or reminiscent about the past always clicking and chattering to you but you CAN train it and it will serve you very well. Another thing I like to do is just to focus on my heart and be in gratitude.

Also, I found that just taking my dog for a walk in the woods where I can air out my head is a tremendous help or any exercise where you move your body can help you to chill and get a better sleep. It could be added to your business plan because it does help you business of trading and your business of happiness.

There is also a practice that I found to be a tremendous help for my soul. I believe that everything in this world is in a fundamental level energy, vibration and what you eat will ultimately become your own vibration. I experienced this first hand when I switched to a plant based diet and I realized that the pain that was caused to a "farmed" animal is carried right into the consumer. On the other hand if you start eating more fruits and veggies you start to see more love and beauty in the world, at least I do.. Anyway I don't want to go too metaphysical on you.

I wish you the best!

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.” Δ

“There is no path, but only a fool wouldn’t follow it.”
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  #285 (permalink)
 
SoftSoap's Avatar
 SoftSoap 
Canada
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: NinjaTrader
Broker: InteractiveBrokers
Trading: NQ
Posts: 594 since Aug 2015
Thanks Given: 347
Thanks Received: 1,227


Mtype View Post
Hey SoftGold,

That is a truly golden mindset. I happen to have the same belief and it is efficient but it can drive you into the ground from time to time, where the physical, emotional and mental side of things get out of whack. I wholeheartedly agree with @Popsicle that meditation can do truly amazing things for you.

Personally I've tried many different methods and ways of meditations and I found just the simple exercise of sitting silently and watching the breath an excellent way to relax . You see that focuses your mind and locks it into the present moment. The mind (some call it the monkey) wants to jump into the future or reminiscent about the past always clicking and chattering to you but you CAN train it and it will serve you very well. Another thing I like to do is just to focus on my heart and be in gratitude.

Also, I found that just taking my dog for a walk in the woods where I can air out my head is a tremendous help or any exercise where you move your body can help you to chill and get a better sleep. It could be added to your business plan because it does help you business of trading and your business of happiness.

There is also a practice that I found to be a tremendous help for my soul. I believe that everything in this world is in a fundamental level energy, vibration and what you eat will ultimately become your own vibration. I experienced this first hand when I switched to a plant based diet and I realized that the pain that was caused to a "farmed" animal is carried right into the consumer. On the other hand if you start eating more fruits and veggies you start to see more love and beauty in the world, at least I do.. Anyway I don't want to go too metaphysical on you.

I wish you the best!

Thank you. I should add in there that working hard is not enough, you need to work smart and hard :sarcastic.

I downloaded a couple of apps after @Popsicle's comment and gave meditating a go. There's one that seems like it's the one I'll start with as it's easy to get into and 15 minutes a day. Essentially it's all about forgetting everything and just listening to your breathing. Breathing in and out and so on. It feels relaxing, but I will have to work on where and how to do it so I'm not distracted by other things.

I have a dog as well and I used to take him on regular walks before the weather started to get cold here. That helped a lot and I think I will incorporate it into my weekly goals in the coming year, thanks.

My wife made the transition to becoming vegan just a couple of months ago. Subsequently I've been eating less meat and meat products but at the same time near the end of the year I start eating more sweets and other things, so that doesn't give me a good 'diet'
I don't know yet know what my dietary goals will be for next year, but I'll keep this into account.

Thanks for sharing!

Yesterday's excellence is today's standard and tomorrow's mediocrity
Visit my NexusFi Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
  #286 (permalink)
 
johny1971's Avatar
 johny1971 
Omaha, NE/USA
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: S5 Trader; Jigsaw; TOS
Broker: Stage 5
Trading: ZN
Posts: 110 since Sep 2016
Thanks Given: 221
Thanks Received: 105

Hey! Your findings a re definitely non-unique. I have only simmed a week and the third day I got 5 hours of sleep prior to trading and that day went awful. So, now I tell myself at least 6 hours of sleep. That means in bed by 1200am-1230am to be up at 630am. I say 1200am because it takes half an hour to get to bed for some reason! But, knowing I want to trade the next day helps get me to bed. The challenge is those days I have a lot of stuff to do I just have to put some things off till the next day or day when I don't have as much to do. And, that is difficult given my penchant to get whatever done now!! But allocation of tasks to different days is helping me feel a little more control in life and granted that control is illusory the feelings help cause other positive feelings and thoughts.

A couple things worth mentioning. Did you get a second opinion each step of the way, especially about medication? The industry is full of 'do gooders' who have lots of pills that other 'do gooders' push on them. I am pretty sure, I couldn't find the quote in Trading for a Living, that Elder states that someone with a mental illness should not trade. That is hefty claim given the spectrum of mental illnesses. And, I may be wrong, but I am pretty sure he states that. Nonetheless, in that same book he has about 30 good pages devoted to individual psychology and trading. I turn to him for those ideas since, after all, he was a psychiatrist and he can offer a really different perspective on things given he is from a Russia during communism. Also, I have yet to make meditation a priority, though I tell friends and family to do it. I heard it can change the way you think. So, I believe in its power. It is just I need time to find the time to just do it. I suppose I believe it is such a significant shift in gears that it is difficult to implement. But, wouldn't something supposedly so powerful be just as high energy as the rest of any busy day? Cold it be even more high powerful given its concentration of energy? The best advice I have yet to follow about starting meditating is to find a guided youtube meditation and try it for five minutes and after that time evaluate and go on if you feel like you should. Personally, I find meditative value (I suppose) in the futures.io webinars. Attending live ones allows some escape from the daily grind. Making it habitual, ironically enough, means all the more of a sense of escape and the inevitable refocus I acquire that is inherent in any mind shift.

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  #287 (permalink)
 JohnS 
Bamberg, Germany
Market Wizard
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: Sierra Chart
Broker: IB, SierraCharts data
Trading: MES, FDXM
Posts: 567 since Oct 2014
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SoftSoap View Post
Thank you. I should add in there that working hard is not enough, you need to work smart and hard :sarcastic.

I downloaded a couple of apps after @Popsicle's comment and gave meditating a go. There's one that seems like it's the one I'll start with as it's easy to get into and 15 minutes a day. Essentially it's all about forgetting everything and just listening to your breathing. Breathing in and out and so on. It feels relaxing, but I will have to work on where and how to do it so I'm not distracted by other things.

I have a dog as well and I used to take him on regular walks before the weather started to get cold here. That helped a lot and I think I will incorporate it into my weekly goals in the coming year, thanks.

My wife made the transition to becoming vegan just a couple of months ago. Subsequently I've been eating less meat and meat products but at the same time near the end of the year I start eating more sweets and other things, so that doesn't give me a good 'diet'
I don't know yet know what my dietary goals will be for next year, but I'll keep this into account.

Thanks for sharing!

Hi @SoftSoap, thank you for sharing and being very open! I've given meditation a try and started using the bio-feedback system from Wild Devine. Not sure if this is something you already checked out but I thought I'd mention it. So far it seems worth it since the device helps keep you focused on the exercise and proves base line for improvement. https://wilddivine.com/products/starter-kit

John

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  #288 (permalink)
 
SoftSoap's Avatar
 SoftSoap 
Canada
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: NinjaTrader
Broker: InteractiveBrokers
Trading: NQ
Posts: 594 since Aug 2015
Thanks Given: 347
Thanks Received: 1,227


johny1971 View Post
Hey! Your findings a re definitely non-unique. I have only simmed a week and the third day I got 5 hours of sleep prior to trading and that day went awful. So, now I tell myself at least 6 hours of sleep. That means in bed by 1200am-1230am to be up at 630am. I say 1200am because it takes half an hour to get to bed for some reason! But, knowing I want to trade the next day helps get me to bed. The challenge is those days I have a lot of stuff to do I just have to put some things off till the next day or day when I don't have as much to do. And, that is difficult given my penchant to get whatever done now!! But allocation of tasks to different days is helping me feel a little more control in life and granted that control is illusory the feelings help cause other positive feelings and thoughts.

A couple things worth mentioning. Did you get a second opinion each step of the way, especially about medication? The industry is full of 'do gooders' who have lots of pills that other 'do gooders' push on them. I am pretty sure, I couldn't find the quote in Trading for a Living, that Elder states that someone with a mental illness should not trade. That is hefty claim given the spectrum of mental illnesses. And, I may be wrong, but I am pretty sure he states that. Nonetheless, in that same book he has about 30 good pages devoted to individual psychology and trading. I turn to him for those ideas since, after all, he was a psychiatrist and he can offer a really different perspective on things given he is from a Russia during communism. Also, I have yet to make meditation a priority, though I tell friends and family to do it. I heard it can change the way you think. So, I believe in its power. It is just I need time to find the time to just do it. I suppose I believe it is such a significant shift in gears that it is difficult to implement. But, wouldn't something supposedly so powerful be just as high energy as the rest of any busy day? Cold it be even more high powerful given its concentration of energy? The best advice I have yet to follow about starting meditating is to find a guided youtube meditation and try it for five minutes and after that time evaluate and go on if you feel like you should. Personally, I find meditative value (I suppose) in the futures.io webinars. Attending live ones allows some escape from the daily grind. Making it habitual, ironically enough, means all the more of a sense of escape and the inevitable refocus I acquire that is inherent in any mind shift.

Thanks for sharing. There were different doctors involved throughout the process, and I'm on the lowest dosage possible (half a pill of the lowest dosage pill created ), so I'm not worried about that.
I could see how you wouldn't want to trade with some mental illnesses but I think I can overcome it to trade well.

In the comment below @JohnS talks about bio-feedback which would help you measure whether meditating had an impact or not. You might want to check it out as well.

Cheers!

Yesterday's excellence is today's standard and tomorrow's mediocrity
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Thanked by:
  #289 (permalink)
 
SoftSoap's Avatar
 SoftSoap 
Canada
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: NinjaTrader
Broker: InteractiveBrokers
Trading: NQ
Posts: 594 since Aug 2015
Thanks Given: 347
Thanks Received: 1,227


JohnS View Post
Hi @SoftSoap, thank you for sharing and being very open! I've given meditation a try and started using the bio-feedback system from Wild Devine. Not sure if this is something you already checked out but I thought I'd mention it. So far it seems worth it since the device helps keep you focused on the exercise and proves base line for improvement. https://wilddivine.com/products/starter-kit

John

I had never heard of a bio-feedback system so thanks for sharing this. It sounds amazing and something I'll look into more.

Cheers!

Yesterday's excellence is today's standard and tomorrow's mediocrity
Visit my NexusFi Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
Thanked by:
  #290 (permalink)
 
Blash's Avatar
 Blash 
Chicago, IL
Legendary Market Chamois
 
Experience: None
Platform: NT8,NT7,TWS
Broker: InteractiveBrokers, S5T, IQFeed
Trading: The one I'm creating in the present....Index Futures mini/micro, ZF
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Popsicle View Post
Thanks for sharing @SoftSoap. I know it takes a lot to share something like this so honestly. But how does the saying go? "A load shared....".

For more mindfulness and even better sleeping, have you tried meditation before? It works well for me. There are quite a few very nice guided meditations out there to help you "switch off" when going to sleep and it is a nice easy transition into meditation.

A merry Christmas and healthy 2017 to you and your family.


Sent from my iPhone using NexusFi mobile app




SoftSoap View Post
I haven't but I have heard that it is very helpful, thanks for the suggestion!



I'm working right now on what my 2017 Goals & Objectives are going to be regarding trading, and meditation is something I'm adding in there!



Thanks, you too!




Mtype View Post
Hey SoftGold,

That is a truly golden mindset. I happen to have the same belief and it is efficient but it can drive you into the ground from time to time, where the physical, emotional and mental side of things get out of whack. I wholeheartedly agree with @Popsicle that meditation can do truly amazing things for you.

Personally I've tried many different methods and ways of meditations and I found just the simple exercise of sitting silently and watching the breath an excellent way to relax . You see that focuses your mind and locks it into the present moment. The mind (some call it the monkey) wants to jump into the future or reminiscent about the past always clicking and chattering to you but you CAN train it and it will serve you very well. Another thing I like to do is just to focus on my heart and be in gratitude.

Also, I found that just taking my dog for a walk in the woods where I can air out my head is a tremendous help or any exercise where you move your body can help you to chill and get a better sleep. It could be added to your business plan because it does help you business of trading and your business of happiness.

There is also a practice that I found to be a tremendous help for my soul. I believe that everything in this world is in a fundamental level energy, vibration and what you eat will ultimately become your own vibration. I experienced this first hand when I switched to a plant based diet and I realized that the pain that was caused to a "farmed" animal is carried right into the consumer. On the other hand if you start eating more fruits and veggies you start to see more love and beauty in the world, at least I do.. Anyway I don't want to go too metaphysical on you.

I wish you the best!


I find thoughts to be like waves on an ocean or the current of a river, never ending, always coming at you, a force of nature. Meditation as I practice/understand it is the taming of this force. Turning the field over run with weeds into a garden. Harnessing the rivers current.

Developing the ability to still these thoughts and focus/project them onto a singular "thing", entity or hold still one idea.

Communing with self you can put questions to it (your essence) and get back the answer in time. Whatever you concentrate on you draw to yourself. If you force your energies on your debt in a unhealthy way you get more of it. Focusing on generosity gives you what?

Ron


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