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iqGod's Own Country

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  #301 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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bobwest View Post
I agree with @TurismoTek, and I'm sure your journal will continue to be honest and forthright and valuable. I read every single post, and have since the beginning.

Take care, and keep going. Your work is very helpful and highly appreciated. And I'm sure you will get to your goals.

Bob.

I am honored. Thank you for your patience. I keep on going because of the enthusiasm shown by readers like you!


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  #302 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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Is this a trading song or am I losing my mind

Rem - Imitation Of Life

Like a koi in a frozen pond
Like a goldfish in a bowl
I don't want to hear you cry

Thats sugarcane that tasted good.
Thats cinnamon thats hollywood
C'mon c'mon no one can see you try


You want the greatest thing
The greatest thing since bread came sliced.
You've got it all, you've got it sized.
Like a friday fashion show teenager
Freezing in the corner
Trying to look like you don't try

Thats sugarcane that tasted good.
Thats cinnamon thats hollywood
C'mon c'mon no one can see you try

No one can see you cry

Thats sugarcane that tasted good
Thats freezing rain thats what you could
C'mon c'mon no one can see you cry

This sugarcane
This lemonade
This hurricane, I'm not afraid.
C'mon c'mon no one can see me cry
This lightning storm
This tidal wave
This avalanche, I'm not afraid.
C'mon c'mon no one can see me cry

Thats sugarcane that tasted good
Thats who you are, thats what you could
C'mon c'mon no one can see you cry

Thats sugarcane that tasted good
Thats who you are, thats what you could
C'mon c'mon no one can see you cry





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  #303 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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This long was an easy one though the wait (pun intended) was long. It is my belief that those traders who do things correctly should be able to make slightly "easy" money in a bull run like this. Follow the trend.



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  #304 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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Just had a thought how trading is about outsmarting the smart people. You do not trade patterns, you trade the hopes and fears of those trying to make money.

It is also the perfect meritocracy that could ever be created.


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  #305 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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Rather than elaborate more, let me illustrate how a diet app called Rise manages the job of successfully making users cut down on calories. Let's get descriptive and say it from the eyes of an end-user:

How Rise Works

Once I did get signed up for Rise, the first thing that struck me was how easy it was to use. There are no large catalogues of various fast foods or meal options to search through, as you might find with some diet apps. There’s no guessing how big a portion size is, or manually entering foods and trying to guess how many calories there were.

Rise, by contrast, is simple: You take a photo of each meal and write a pretty basic description of what you ate. That’s it.
Later, a personalized diet coach takes a peek and tells you what she thinks of your meal — i.e. what you did well and what you could do better next time. Over time, you start to take these little diet lessons to heart, which leads you to eat better eventually, oftentimes without even thinking about it.

My diet changed dramatically over the course of the first several weeks. First came the obvious tweaks: Have a light breakfast every morning, usually no-fat Greek yogurt and fruit or berries. Substitute salad for fries when possible. Hell, try to have a salad with every meal. Don’t eat heavy starches, bread, or non-whole grains.

Then there were other habits that were less obvious but got picked up over time. Instead of eating chips or other snacks we had around the office or at home, I started to stock up on fruits or nuts to munch on. I was never a big soda drinker, but I began to drink water and black coffee almost exclusively during the day.

Changes started to be reflected in the restaurants I chose to go to, the meals I cooked for myself, and even how I chose to eat or what I ordered when I was at an event or dinner with a limited menu. Forever a plate finisher, I also began to leave portions of my meals behind or saved them for later.

Part of the change was just pure education and causing me to re-think how I ate, but part of it also came from the accountability of knowing that I’d have to share each meal with my diet coach.



If this does not convince you to journal on @Big Mike.... cutting arguments short, the key is to:

1. Place a observation frame of reference. (Examples include video taping your trades, taking snaps of your face, jotting down ideas, taking notes in real time.)

2. Review the observation - usually you find that the reality is different from your ideological planning, execution is different from analysis.

3. Identify what would yield an edge. Implement one change at a time, all the while keeping the frame of observation active.

4. Keep doing the correct thing even if you find it boring, yielding no results, or even when you are scared that it will never work.


Try these four steps and I guarantee that your trading will turn around.


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  #306 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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After that pure-volatility day in the middle of October, when I returned to the combine after a long time I noticed that the Trade report was completely out of synch with the account balance.

TST was nice about it and cross-checked and found there were some major issues after the pure volatility day when I had traded when there was a platform glitch, and were unable to reconcile the report balance and the platform balance and hence closed that combine.

Will post more updates later.


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  #307 (permalink)
 matevisky 
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iqgod View Post
After that pure-volatility day in the middle of October, when I returned to the combine after a long time I noticed that the Trade report was completely out of synch with the account balance.

TST was nice about it and cross-checked and found there were some major issues after the pure volatility day when I had traded when there was a platform glitch, and were unable to reconcile the report balance and the platform balance and hence closed that combine.

Will post more updates later.

Ugh... Never happened with me... ugh... Sorry man, Dont give up! New paper new day, new combine, Let assume that this is your live trader preparation phase!!!

Máté
Full time traderLive journal here
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  #308 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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Only when I read my older combine journals do I realize how far I've come. I would never trade again like I traded some of those initial combines (this was October last year).

Gratitude to TST and @Big Mike for supporting an environment of completely honest journalling.

I have summarized the milestones above for myself as they "mean" to me.


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  #309 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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Earlier combines would see me facing failure after failure after failure.

However the light at the end of the tunnel took all this time - if it had been real money my education would have dug me into so deep a hole and TST saved me a ton of money.

Quoting @rubyslippage:

The 5 Fundamental Truths of Trading:

1. Anything can happen.

2. You don’t need to know what is going to happen next to make money.

3. There is a random distribution between wins and losses for any given set of
variables that define an edge.

4. An edge is nothing more than an indication of a higher probability of one thing
happening over another.

5. Every moment in the market is unique.

The 7 Principles of Consistency:

1. I objectively identify my edges.

2. I predefine the risk of every trade.

3. I completely accept the risk or I am willing to let go of the trade.

4. I act on my edges without reservation or hesitation.

5. I pay myself as the market makes money available to me.

6. I continually monitor my susceptibility for making errors.

7. I understand the absolute necessity of these principles of consistent success
and, therefore, I never violate them.


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  #310 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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Day 1 ends with a loss of 74 cents after 7 trades.



Reminders:

- I love taking small losers.

- I get paid for doing hard things.


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  #311 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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 Silver Dragon 
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iqgod View Post

@iqgod

Noticed the Euro FX; Are you trading Forex in the combine? or is that euro future?

Thanks!
Robert

nosce te ipsum

You make your own opportunities in life.
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  #313 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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Silver Dragon View Post
@iqgod

Noticed the Euro FX; Are you trading Forex in the combine? or is that euro future?

Thanks!
Robert

Its the CME 6E Euro FX Future contract.


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  #314 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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Important post for me on a one-tick day:



And later:



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  #315 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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 iqgod 
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 iqgod 
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Attaching the Day 4 ES report which I forgot to include earlier:



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 cejstrup 
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iqgod View Post
Attaching the Day 4 ES report which I forgot to include earlier:

You might want to hide your login information

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 iqgod 
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cejstrup View Post
You might want to hide your login information

Fixed!

Perhaps that is their bid to minimize support calls of 'Forgot Password' but this is taking it to a whole new level - I'm clipping out that portion of the report each time I post it .... enough said!


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 iqgod 
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 iqgod 
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 iqgod 
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I was able to capture a downmove today with good size in my real account; unfortunately I chickened out in my combine account.



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 iqgod 
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 iqgod 
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 iqgod 
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It seems to be gunning towards 1.24 - stops are probably waiting above..




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 iqgod 
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The title of the post says it all:

Why NOT to trade the Asian session for the 6E

This has been a four hour trade now with price slowly grinding towards the target!



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 iqgod 
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Burnt out trying to trade the Asian session.


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 iqgod 
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 iqgod 
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Cut myself short by taking a bad trade and then 'coming to senses' and exiting immediately at $0.0 difference to account plus commissions.



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 iqgod 
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Can you guess which exit (buy) was from the Combine account and which one was from the real account?



The answer will be in the "official report" post tomorrow.


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25 ticks target



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iqgod View Post
Can you guess which exit (buy) was from the Combine account and which one was from the real account?



The answer will be in the "official report" post tomorrow.

You marked them on the chart. TY
Or was this a trick question like; What color is the red light at the top of a stop light?.... lol

Hopefully they were both shorts and you were a very happy trader.

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 iqgod 
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After many months of avoiding this, I went through the 'I know what the market is going to do.... eventually' mindset again and kept moving stop till I could take it no more.

The demons still lurk in the shadows and I cannot be complacent.

The trade:



I trade well when I am totally depressed. It is when I trade during happy hours that I self-sabotage myself. And I am totally aware of the fact that it is self-sabotage but 'I don't mind' until its over.


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The Trader's Journey: The Hero's Journey - Adam H Grimes


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The trade was a one-tick winner with-trend and the entry was on a pullback to the EMA.

The trade deserves three separate emotional logs:

1. When the trade was taken it was with proper technique with good execution at a sweet spot. I waited and waited and then entered at a 'ripe' moment. However I realised that the pullback had not properly tested the earlier breakout so dangerously had to give the stop more wiggle room, out of my comfort level. This is observation one. Keep out of trades that do not allow proper stop placement, no matter how juicy they look.

2. The trade came dangerously close to the stop and must have taken out other's stops which were smaller and in their comfort zones, but eventually started going with-trend. The traders who wouldn't have waited earlier would've been the ones whose stops got taken out. There was temptation to bail out, bail out, bail out at various points with the reasoning 'take your small loss and go home'. However I sensed that it was simply a mask and such risk aversion is anti-good-trading. This is the second observation. Do what is hardest and most difficult.

3. The trade was very close to the target but based on earlier observations rarely does a trade that has given so much MAE result in a good trade later - too many bruised parties want to escape from the loony bin unscathed! This is observation three - Trust your intuition and experience and hence this was accepted as a one tick winner and with no regrets for moving the target.


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 iqgod 
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Trading is never about luck.

I felt I was lucky that the second trade came 2 ticks short of my stop and then went on its perfectly two-legged journey to reach my target. Mainly because I had entered and then had to take the younger one to the doctor when she vomitted, and then came back to find target achieved.

I think it isn't luck ever. Luck is an 'excuse word' for people who do not take small losses, such as me in the old days (not so old).


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 cejstrup 
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Well done on the combine

Keeping risk down. Keep doing it like this and you'll be set Are you going with a continuous combine next ?

To succeed in trading you need to think like the minority ,so you won't end up like the majority
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 iqgod 
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Well done on the combine

Keeping risk down. Keep doing it like this and you'll be set Are you going with a continuous combine next ?

I know what you mean. However the continuous combine does not appeal to me.

Also, looking at my past history, I know I will go on and one of these two things from here (its easy to think I'm in control but historically 'the winter' has been difficult for me):

1. Become risk averse to stay at this peak and take tiny profits.
2. Try to force my will upon the market and get close to DLL.

Hence with only three days left I've decided to change course and simply open and close one position for a random three days - mainly because I am going on a vacation and do not want to involve trading in that. ( I tried it once where I was trading from Thailand and screwed up).

There are traders who get 10 days and reach this same goal. Kudos to them. I am very slowly getting there (from a deep trough) and do not want to derail myself even if people pop up and say 'You are not meant to be a trader.... look you are almost there and you are not allowing the ride to complete."

I will continue the ride and choose to roll over.

This has been a fruitful year.

Here's wishing everyone happy holidays and a Happy New Year!


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 iqgod 
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My combine ends on 9th Jan and I'll be gone till 6th Jan starting today. No trading is allowed today. Hence I'll use the last three days to take quick trades to roll the combine, unless the 'all charged up back from holiday' attitude allows some miracles.

I am up +$900 and need to make $600 more to achieve target which is a 3:2 ratio whereas the days done vs days left ratio is 6:1 hence this seems tough to do.

Hence the decision to wrap up the combine.

Cya!


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 iqgod 
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Today is Day 20 and with tears in my eyes and gratitude in my heart (Special thanks, @Big Mike and @PandaWarrior, @josh and MANY MANY MORE) I announce that my account stands at $31,554.90.

Final trade of this combine netted $975.



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iqgod View Post
Today is Day 20 and with tears in my eyes and gratitude in my heart (Special thanks, @Big Mike and @PandaWarrior, @josh and MANY MANY MORE) I announce that my account stands at $31,554.90.

Final trade of this combine netted $975.

Congratulations!

Bob.

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Congratulations!

Bob.

I can't believe I forgot to thank YOU, my patient follower despite the fact that I was sounding like a broken record forever.

You read and thanked every single post in this thread, you kept my spirits high - thank you Bob!


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I can't believe I forgot to thank YOU, my patient follower despite the fact that I was sounding like a broken record forever.

You read and thanked every single post in this thread, you kept my spirits high - thank you Bob!



Bob.

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What's that "external" marker meaning?
(I only know that from my positions being liquidated due to DLL, unfortunately^^)

Anyways, congratulations!! Well done, well done.
Now you experienced the power of holding a winning trade - it can even get you funded

Looking forward to hearing from your journey

ST

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Today is Day 20 and with tears in my eyes and gratitude in my heart (Special thanks, @Big Mike and @PandaWarrior, @josh and MANY MANY MORE) I announce that my account stands at $31,554.90.

Final trade of this combine netted $975.


Congratulations!!!!! Job well done!!!!! Nothing like ending the year on a HIGH NOTE! Woo-Hoo!!!!

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 EastCoastTrader 
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Congrats! Nice way to end the year for sure.

Syed

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 PandaWarrior 
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iqgod View Post
Today is Day 20 and with tears in my eyes and gratitude in my heart (Special thanks, @Big Mike and @PandaWarrior, @josh and MANY MANY MORE) I announce that my account stands at $31,554.90.

Final trade of this combine netted $975.


Well done, not sure how I got on the mention list here as I can't remember doing anything really special but regardless, I'm super glad you passed.....

And I have a question;

The 30K combine has a 3 lot max size but the chart you posted showed 4 entries and 4 exits. Did you break a rule and have more on that you were supposed to? Or am I missing something?

One last thing, that last trade demonstrates how its easier to leverage time than your account and while you traded at least max size, the duration and distance of the trade is what made it work so darn well.

Congrats, its been a long time coming.

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Well done, not sure how I got on the mention list here as I can't remember doing anything really special but regardless, I'm super glad you passed.....

And I have a question;

The 30K combine has a 3 lot max size but the chart you posted showed 4 entries and 4 exits. Did you break a rule and have more on that you were supposed to? Or am I missing something?

One last thing, that last trade demonstrates how its easier to leverage time than your account and while you traded at least max size, the duration and distance of the trade is what made it work so darn well.

Congrats, its been a long time coming.

Thank you, Brian! The fourth lot was taken on the NT Sim101 account which shows up as the fourth trade with its exit at 53 (on the 70-tick chart in an earlier post).


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Scalpingtrader View Post
What's that "external" marker meaning?
(I only know that from my positions being liquidated due to DLL, unfortunately^^)

Anyways, congratulations!! Well done, well done.
Now you experienced the power of holding a winning trade - it can even get you funded

Looking forward to hearing from your journey

ST

Thank you!

I took the first two trades of the day on another computer and they hit their respective stops. They are the 'external' ones. The three lot trade was taken on the second computer. I almost goofed it up because I was on Sim101 when I entered with one lot, realized it, changed to TST account and then took three one lot trades in quick succession.


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 iqgod 
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One last thing, that last trade demonstrates how its easier to leverage time than your account and while you traded at least max size, the duration and distance of the trade is what made it work so darn well.

Congrats, its been a long time coming.

I will keep that in mind.

This time around I set the stop 10-ticks above that range, and set my target at a logical place ( slightly more than 25-ticks) where it might sell off to try to form a double bottom (this was 35-ticks away but 25 ticks was a reasonable target) since it was so close to that magnet.


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 xiaosi 
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Passing a combine is a great achievement, passing it trading currency is just awesome!

Well Done mate!

XS

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 cejstrup 
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Wow,this is awesome congrats . What a way to end the year

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iqgod View Post
Today is Day 20 and with tears in my eyes and gratitude in my heart (Special thanks, @Big Mike and @PandaWarrior, @josh and MANY MANY MORE) I announce that my account stands at $31,554.90.

Final trade of this combine netted $975.


Congratulations. I read (most of) your journal last night and this morning. I did not follow it in real time but shared you journey. Thank-you. It was a good read. Thanks for sharing.

My journal is factual but boring.
Perhaps due to not having a defined (specific) goal. I will think about that.

/OK

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 cmmichaels 
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Today is Day 20 and with tears in my eyes and gratitude in my heart (Special thanks, @Big Mike and @PandaWarrior, @josh and MANY MANY MORE) I announce that my account stands at $31,554.90.

Final trade of this combine netted $975.


I don't think I've ever been as happy for someone I don't know before! You are the man

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 iqgod 
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I don't think I've ever been as happy for someone I don't know before! You are the man

Thank you, from the heart!


got this from the TST Scout team in my mailbox:

Tip

You have successfully achieved the objective of your Trading Combine®, which began on November 10, 2014. Your Combine performance is being reviewed by the Scout team and you will be contacted within two business days. At the Scout team's discretion, a Live Trader Preparation period may be requested.

Please complete your trader profile as soon as possible to fully introduce yourself to the equity partner.

Regards,
The TopstepTrader Team




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 tturner86 
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Thank you, from the heart!


got this from the TST Scout team in my mailbox:

Tip

You have successfully achieved the objective of your Trading Combine®, which began on November 10, 2014. Your Combine performance is being reviewed by the Scout team and you will be contacted within two business days. At the Scout team's discretion, a Live Trader Preparation period may be requested.

Please complete your trader profile as soon as possible to fully introduce yourself to the equity partner.

Regards,
The TopstepTrader Team



Good work @iqgod. Perseverance is the word of the day here.

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 Scalpingtrader 
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Thank you, from the heart!


got this from the TST Scout team in my mailbox:

Tip

You have successfully achieved the objective of your Trading Combine®, which began on November 10, 2014. Your Combine performance is being reviewed by the Scout team and you will be contacted within two business days. At the Scout team's discretion, a Live Trader Preparation period may be requested.

Please complete your trader profile as soon as possible to fully introduce yourself to the equity partner.

Regards,
The TopstepTrader Team



Congratulations again. You showed impressively that small consistent gains can very well be the foundation of something greater. Even though you pushed it a little on the last day - but let's take that as an appetizer of what is to come once you compounded your earnings and add size

I will make sure to follow you into the funded team - with consistent results sometime in 2015 my friend

ST

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 tturner86 
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I can't describe how excited I am for you. I know you were disappointed in not winning the contest, but instead of whining you went to work and passed your own combine. I think that says a lot. You put your head down and went to work. Good job!

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 EastCoastTrader 
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Are you doing LTP now?

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 iqgod 
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Are you doing LTP now?

John's scout call is scheduled for tomorrow. I am expected to do LTP; however the call / discussion is mandatory before the LTP can be started.


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 iqgod 
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There are very little things that teach you more than losses. Trading losses may not be at par with the icy clawing losses of loved ones, but they are similarly mind numbing. Whether its your first loss that you seldom understood, or a private fiasco that you discreetly skimmed over in a public forum - it would've been better if I had recorded it fresh in the journal! If you have access to that scenario, set of feelings and environmental factors that led to the actual physical loss (e.g. - by journalling about it) then you have a ready bunker to take shelter behind when the next assault is about to happen. I wish I had journalled more often - I would have literally built a fortress of bunkers by now. That is no trivial or mean achievement. Trust me, you need all help you can get while doing something as difficult as trading.


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Congratulations!! Amazing stuff.

Best wishes.

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 iqgod 
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Why are you here?

I personally feel that I am trading to achieve that 'presence in' moment when I am open to the possibilities and 'not shut down' not 'closed'. There are those times when price action is presented in a way that there is a fleeting sense of being startled by the beauty of it all, a glimse into nature itself. All of a sudden everything fits in, has meaning in that single moment.

To catch that moment means that you have been paying attention. You have started to see. You may be in it up to your neck in real life but that moment you have the courage to take on the world.

Most things are not like that, simple and natural. Most things are uncecessarily complicated. Trading gives you such a thing - you can be engrossed by something outside yourself and it it a powerful mirror for the rational mind which is often too rational that it has its head up its behind. Rationality by itself is non-hope and despair - being outside of yourself and seeing the awe and grabbing the moment by both hands is when it becomes worth it.

So, why are you here?


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 iqgod 
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First day, first trade of a $150,000 TST combine, still active:


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 iqgod 
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 iqgod 
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Hmm, so looks like I am not eligible for the promotional offer of the $1 combine as I am not a new customer. My misunderstanding was that if I have never done a $1 combine then I will be eligible for one promotional month, but it is only for new clients. I will not be continuing with the combine as it will not be considered.


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 iqgod 
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By Darwinian evolution we are 98% Chimpanzee, so probably 'monkey brain' is not just a humorous way to refer to our minds, but perhaps a biological and unavoidable specification of our devices!

Just a passing thought.


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  #376 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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So what do we have here?



The day began fresh and clear but it being Monday morning I kept having a body sense that 'I the saboteur would do something wrong; maybe a deliberate bad start.'

I sensed the selloff would have to happen before a big up move, but I kept thinking 'small selloff, quick reclaim of and then off to new highs'. Boy was I wrong.

The green arrow was me buying and then the felt sense I had made me sell quickly which was an 'almost' right thing except that I had not made anything on that trade after commissions which is a fact that invariably makes me made. It makes me forget that I am picking up dimes in front of a steam roller.

The second buy was the reaction to that 'not made anything' feeling I know so well (but which I haven't learnt how to 'non-respond' to). Hence I walked into the trap inspite of semi-awareness that it was a trap.

That is a callous attitude wherein I say 'Don't worry, buy now even though you know the market will drop significantly because the market will then go up significantly. This is dangerous thinking, and must be curbed. I must love myself and not do such acts of disrespect.

Not after I have come so far and done so much, god no.


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 iqgod 
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How did I know that buy wasn't 'right'?

Mainly because the early longs would be sellers near that double top - there would be atleast some capitulation before the uptrend resumed in earnest - little did I anticipate the huge selloff. Though I told myself I would stick to my long position thru thick and thin - that was the one decision that I promised myself.

That is a pretty dangerous game, however and I must do this lesser and lesser. Controlled risks, always!

Another thing is that purple star was the correct point to go long (though it would have been stopped out later but that is irrelevant to the overall positive expectancy of a strategy - we go by the set and not sway to individual outcomes).

But now I am long and at 10:30 the market has dropped like a stone and done two down legs. At this point I am tempted to buy except that I have cleverly setup my stuff such that it is impossible to initiate a second position until the earlier one is closed (I am improving here, pat!)

Now at 11:00 the market hugs the EMA and crosses over. I know this is a great opportunity to sell and close out my losing position to take home minimum loss. But do I sell? And why not? At this point I am almost tempting fate. This is another 'playing god' feature that I have to work on more.

Now the market sets up a H1 / H2 and sharpens its knives to sell into deep territory. Darkness looms, madness clouds an otherwise sane trader's judgement....

My strategy dictates that I short that orange pentagon marked at the H2, but I am still holding onto that dear long wanting to be right, wanting to be right more that wanting to make money; wanting to be right even if I have to lose my account for it. This is soul sucking when I've been so long at trying to master this.......


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 iqgod 
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As expected the selloff happens - in a parallel universe it would have reached my target and I would have made money almost effortlessly - you know that feeling, right, when the market seems to be willed into obedience sometimes (though I hate to break your heart and tell you that its just an illusion - but I don't tell myself just yet!)

By 11:30 the selloff has tested yesterday's close and I am tempted to buy and add to my position again - jeez, I would've been three times long by now had I not limited my account 'cleverly (or burnt finger-ly!)

At lunch time I actually feel hungry and have lunch without looking at the market. This sometimes is a good thing, though I have mixed experiences. however the market clearly bottoms out and either at the yellow hexagon marked "C" (aggressive long) or at the retest marked by the tick mark I would have been long by my strategy that has been dunked into a black hole in this trancelike state

At this point price is nearing my entry point. The technical point to new highs but the market's move and the large MAE means my patience has run out. I close out my position by selling and taking a small loss.

I later watch agonizingly as a 'correct' long forms (pink rectangle, classic range break if the yellow line extended) with the coiling action and the market goes higher and higher all day long into the close. I do nothing except watch.

I hope I have entered all the nuances into my journal. All of them are important for me to refer back to - I find journaling to be extremely extremely helpful.


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 iqgod 
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To summarize the last three journal entries:

1. Wait for the correct time - i.e. time your entry properly instead of a sloppy 'won't have time later' entry coupled with slot machone treatment.

2. Allow targets to be reached, don't just have that confidence - let your actions show that you are confident.

3. Listen to the body's felt sense with repsect.


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 iqgod 
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... and stay away from the alluring gyrations of green red running totals displayed in the account (which cause me to "force the market" or "will the market" to make up my losses, cuddle me and act as a comfort device when real life isn't working!) and Stick To Your Method.


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 iqgod 
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For me, The Ego is an account killer
It covertly turns me into its illogical defender
From clear-headed reasoner to emotional nervous 'feeler'
Anything passes as rational when I'm in its mind-blender.

Today was a learning experience if I allow learning to happen.



I came to the market not really neutral of bias - the signs told me that an upmove was more likelier than a downmove.

The point where I shorted was in the EMA and an H1 H2 / Block Break with upside rbeakout had formed pointing to that upmove I had in mind but I shorted because the overall trend was bearish.

This was a clear case of the same problem I had talked about three posts earlier - focusing on bigger picture and enter sloppily!

Still not fixed.

I exited with a small profit (at the green line) but has a large 'unacceptable' MAE.

I need to find ways to improve otherwise this may well become an account killer.


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 iqgod 
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Trying be The Perfect Person is when I get into trouble.

Striving for too much perfection is actually covertly hating yourself. That does not leave you in an unbiased state. You have now got to tend to your tender ego as well as listen to the nuances of the market.

When the voice says I HAVE to it actually means NOW OR NEVER or more insidiously it means YOU ARE NO GOOD. None of these two statements are true but it takes only a moment to get lost or take a misstep that can be fatal for you account.

Practice, then, is to stay neutral trade after trade, not intoxicated by the sweet siren song of the ego. Trading happens through you, not because of you. The first step is getting into the boring state that produces profits and stay there till the end of the trading session - at that point you realize you are not bored at all - that is when you have done it right!


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 iqgod 
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I've been reading a book by Richard Esser called "Viltality, A Psychiatrist's Answer To Life's Problems".

Some ideas from it:

What is it in a person’s perception of living that leads to the worst of states and what is it that leads to the best of states?

- People in the worst of states were caught up in the pursuit of false rewards.

- The very worst of desperation is a mixture of six elements in different degree: craziness, rage, panic, violence, hopelessness and self-destructiveness.

- What helped them was a realization of what the real rewards in living are and how to get them. Such rewards are to be found in six different spheres of our living:
loving, friendship, learning, work, idealism and a private life.

Desperation is not something to be feared but serves as an essential resource that we need in our efforts to turn the worst of living into the best using the following method - by converting the negative to the positive:

- underlying the creativity–craziness linkage is imagination
- underlying the courage–rage linkage is power
- underlying the initiative–panic linkage is self-mobilization
- underlying the dynamism–violence linkage is self-assertion
- underlying the achievement–hopelessness linkage is ambition
- underlying the self-fulfillment–self-destructiveness linkage is self gratification.


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 iqgod 
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Lot of SMALL successful trades for the whole month and ONE BIG loss today.

REMINDER: What to do after a losing streak:

Recovery after a Losing Streak or a Heavy Loss

I am starting fresh. I know what to do to win. I am doing the right things right now, and not trying to get back my money. I am not taking revenge—there is no one to fight with. I am taking it slowly until I get a good feeling. I am not complaining about my loss. I paid money for the lesson. Now I am applying my new knowledge to my trading. I am taking only trades that match my set of rules. There is no memory of money lost—my trading account is not money. It’s a tool for making money. I am rebuilding my confidence with many small wins. They let me feel the taste of winning. I don’t let events control me. I am in control of myself. I am going to remember the feeling of every win.


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 iqgod 
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What do you really want from your trading.

Answer that ONE question - I got my answers as:

- I want a perfect life.

- - this causes me to tend to my trading like a garden. When the perfect blomoms are gone then life itself becomes meaningless hence I take trades out of the system. I also try to get hold of the big winners and kill myself. I need to refer back to the first page of this journal and look at the Perfection billboard again. It's not worth that much.

-I do not really look at myself as a trader. I kelp saying 'part-time,

- - this causes me to take trades and then run errands. Yesterday's big loss happened because I wanted a discounted lunch. That was an EXPENSIVE gourmet treat.

This is part-money not part-time.

And finally I look at making money off the markets as a sort of retail therapy. It needs to obey or I get mad.



-------


So we know the issues. What am I going to do about it.

- slow down. Sit and trade.

- dedicate - god moves mountains when I really dedicate myself

- work - treat this as work, not a hobby.

Will continue reporting.


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 iqgod 
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Can the 'point of no return' be allowed to extend so that eventually it MIGHT become a point of return? And isn't that "habit forming"?

Why allow oneself to reach the point of no return, why make a hole so large that extinguishing it will take a long long time?

Why bury-head-in-sand when faced with adversity?


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