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iqGod's Own Country
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iqGod's Own Country

  #371 (permalink)
Elite Member
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Why do I trade?

Why are you here?

I personally feel that I am trading to achieve that 'presence in' moment when I am open to the possibilities and 'not shut down' not 'closed'. There are those times when price action is presented in a way that there is a fleeting sense of being startled by the beauty of it all, a glimse into nature itself. All of a sudden everything fits in, has meaning in that single moment.

To catch that moment means that you have been paying attention. You have started to see. You may be in it up to your neck in real life but that moment you have the courage to take on the world.

Most things are not like that, simple and natural. Most things are uncecessarily complicated. Trading gives you such a thing - you can be engrossed by something outside yourself and it it a powerful mirror for the rational mind which is often too rational that it has its head up its behind. Rationality by itself is non-hope and despair - being outside of yourself and seeing the awe and grabbing the moment by both hands is when it becomes worth it.

So, why are you here?

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  #372 (permalink)
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First day, first trade of a $150,000 TST combine, still active:

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Last edited by iqgod; April 4th, 2016 at 07:49 AM.
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  #373 (permalink)
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  #374 (permalink)
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Closing erroneously started combine

Hmm, so looks like I am not eligible for the promotional offer of the $1 combine as I am not a new customer. My misunderstanding was that if I have never done a $1 combine then I will be eligible for one promotional month, but it is only for new clients. I will not be continuing with the combine as it will not be considered.

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  #375 (permalink)
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By Darwinian evolution we are 98% Chimpanzee, so probably 'monkey brain' is not just a humorous way to refer to our minds, but perhaps a biological and unavoidable specification of our devices!

Just a passing thought.

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  #376 (permalink)
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Lost opportunity, "lost" time

So what do we have here?

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The day began fresh and clear but it being Monday morning I kept having a body sense that 'I the saboteur would do something wrong; maybe a deliberate bad start.'

I sensed the selloff would have to happen before a big up move, but I kept thinking 'small selloff, quick reclaim of and then off to new highs'. Boy was I wrong.

The green arrow was me buying and then the felt sense I had made me sell quickly which was an 'almost' right thing except that I had not made anything on that trade after commissions which is a fact that invariably makes me made. It makes me forget that I am picking up dimes in front of a steam roller.

The second buy was the reaction to that 'not made anything' feeling I know so well (but which I haven't learnt how to 'non-respond' to). Hence I walked into the trap inspite of semi-awareness that it was a trap.

That is a callous attitude wherein I say 'Don't worry, buy now even though you know the market will drop significantly because the market will then go up significantly. This is dangerous thinking, and must be curbed. I must love myself and not do such acts of disrespect.

Not after I have come so far and done so much, god no.

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  #377 (permalink)
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continued

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How did I know that buy wasn't 'right'?

Mainly because the early longs would be sellers near that double top - there would be atleast some capitulation before the uptrend resumed in earnest - little did I anticipate the huge selloff. Though I told myself I would stick to my long position thru thick and thin - that was the one decision that I promised myself.

That is a pretty dangerous game, however and I must do this lesser and lesser. Controlled risks, always!

Another thing is that purple star was the correct point to go long (though it would have been stopped out later but that is irrelevant to the overall positive expectancy of a strategy - we go by the set and not sway to individual outcomes).

But now I am long and at 10:30 the market has dropped like a stone and done two down legs. At this point I am tempted to buy except that I have cleverly setup my stuff such that it is impossible to initiate a second position until the earlier one is closed (I am improving here, pat!)

Now at 11:00 the market hugs the EMA and crosses over. I know this is a great opportunity to sell and close out my losing position to take home minimum loss. But do I sell? And why not? At this point I am almost tempting fate. This is another 'playing god' feature that I have to work on more.

Now the market sets up a H1 / H2 and sharpens its knives to sell into deep territory. Darkness looms, madness clouds an otherwise sane trader's judgement....

My strategy dictates that I short that orange pentagon marked at the H2, but I am still holding onto that dear long wanting to be right, wanting to be right more that wanting to make money; wanting to be right even if I have to lose my account for it. This is soul sucking when I've been so long at trying to master this.......

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Lunch and beyond

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As expected the selloff happens - in a parallel universe it would have reached my target and I would have made money almost effortlessly - you know that feeling, right, when the market seems to be willed into obedience sometimes (though I hate to break your heart and tell you that its just an illusion - but I don't tell myself just yet!)

By 11:30 the selloff has tested yesterday's close and I am tempted to buy and add to my position again - jeez, I would've been three times long by now had I not limited my account 'cleverly (or burnt finger-ly!)

At lunch time I actually feel hungry and have lunch without looking at the market. This sometimes is a good thing, though I have mixed experiences. however the market clearly bottoms out and either at the yellow hexagon marked "C" (aggressive long) or at the retest marked by the tick mark I would have been long by my strategy that has been dunked into a black hole in this trancelike state

At this point price is nearing my entry point. The technical point to new highs but the market's move and the large MAE means my patience has run out. I close out my position by selling and taking a small loss.

I later watch agonizingly as a 'correct' long forms (pink rectangle, classic range break if the yellow line extended) with the coiling action and the market goes higher and higher all day long into the close. I do nothing except watch.

I hope I have entered all the nuances into my journal. All of them are important for me to refer back to - I find journaling to be extremely extremely helpful.

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To summarize

To summarize the last three journal entries:

1. Wait for the correct time - i.e. time your entry properly instead of a sloppy 'won't have time later' entry coupled with slot machone treatment.

2. Allow targets to be reached, don't just have that confidence - let your actions show that you are confident.

3. Listen to the body's felt sense with repsect.

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Avoid: The Market as an Escape


... and stay away from the alluring gyrations of green red running totals displayed in the account (which cause me to "force the market" or "will the market" to make up my losses, cuddle me and act as a comfort device when real life isn't working!) and Stick To Your Method.

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