A TopStepTrader's Humble-Pie-Way: A TST Combine Journal of iqgod's "Take 2" - futures io
futures io



A TopStepTrader's Humble-Pie-Way: A TST Combine Journal of iqgod's "Take 2"


Discussion in Trading Journals

Updated
      Top Posters
    1. looks_one iqgod with 104 posts (109 thanks)
    2. looks_two rubyslippage with 5 posts (20 thanks)
    3. looks_3 Anagami with 4 posts (11 thanks)
    4. looks_4 Pedro40 with 3 posts (3 thanks)
      Best Posters
    1. looks_one rubyslippage with 4 thanks per post
    2. looks_two PandaWarrior with 3 thanks per post
    3. looks_3 Anagami with 2.8 thanks per post
    4. looks_4 iqgod with 1 thanks per post
    1. trending_up 15,150 views
    2. thumb_up 158 thanks given
    3. group 14 followers
    1. forum 130 posts
    2. attach_file 68 attachments




Welcome to futures io: the largest futures trading community on the planet, with well over 125,000 members
  • Genuine reviews from real traders, not fake reviews from stealth vendors
  • Quality education from leading professional traders
  • We are a friendly, helpful, and positive community
  • We do not tolerate rude behavior, trolling, or vendors advertising in posts
  • We are here to help, just let us know what you need
You'll need to register in order to view the content of the threads and start contributing to our community.  It's free and simple.

-- Big Mike, Site Administrator

(If you already have an account, login at the top of the page)

 
Search this Thread
 

A TopStepTrader's Humble-Pie-Way: A TST Combine Journal of iqgod's "Take 2"

(login for full post details)
  #101 (permalink)
 rubyslippage 
Phoenix, AZ
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: Multiple
Trading: CL, ES
 
rubyslippage's Avatar
 
Posts: 76 since Jun 2012
Thanks: 26 given, 505 received


iqgod View Post
A trader hopes for the best but prepares for the worst. If you haven't done exercises to prepare for the worst, then doing a combine is not auto-magically going to make you a better trader. Nothing can help a trader if he doesn't have a firm base to build upon.

BUT... if the mental toughness has been gathered, the willingness to work hard and long and without remuneration (initially) is all okay then the freedom of becoming a trader is worth all of the above.

And finally what exactly did the combine do to my mental state?
Answer: Combines are powerless creatures, the person who inflicts damage is the trader. I am my own worst enemy. So instead of trading well I concentrated on statistics and thus instead of process goals I focused on statistics improvement goals - an important lesson re-learnt today.

Brilliant journaling, IMHO. This is the sort of documentation that gives you concrete stuff to work on. You've documented demons that haunt most traders at some point, and some traders until they give up. Overcoming these habits isn't easy, but you're "talking out loud" and the statistical/rational part of your brain that knows exactly what to do when NOT in the heat of battle will at least be imprinting important rules onto the emotion-driven part that sabotages successful outcomes.

Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to rubyslippage for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #102 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received

Combine Plan

Part I


Section 5


SELF REGULATION


Myself

- My self esteem is not dependent on the results of any given trade or any one day of trading.

- I am more than my trading because of many things:
--- I love playing the guitar, writing, cooking, doing chores, travelling, photography, singing, eating gourmet food.
--- I especially love playing with my kids and doing things for them, and raising them well rather than lavishly.
--- I do not say 'I am a trader' because I am other things too. So 'I trade to make money' it is not who I am.
--- I am however proud of my trading - my actions add liquidity to a free market. I perceive myself as adding value.

Harmony

A Design of Steps Necessary to Stay in Balance

NOTE: These MUST NOT be solely on paper to look nice in a plan.

I commit myself to doing the steps outlined below to stay in balance.


[TODO: Add here in tabular format - step and the goal it is intented for]
_________

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #103 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received

Combine Plan

Part I


Section 5


SELF REGULATION


Section 5.1 - Process Goals for Detaching Myself from a Trade

- My self esteem is not dependent on the results of any given trade or any one day of trading.

- I need to reexamine my perspective before taking a trade by placing myself into the counterparty's shoes - why would someone go long here if I am going short?

- I have it as a process goal - not becoming attached to a single trade.

Detachment

A Design of Steps Necessary to Stay Detached

NOTE: These MUST NOT be solely on paper to look nice in a plan.

I commit myself to doing the steps outlined below to stay detached.

- I have an internal 'mentor' - he is imagined vividly and is almost a real person - a conglomeration of Dr.Brooks, @DbPhoenix, @Big Mike, and too many other persons who have been an influence on my trading development.

- I am susceptible to making my ego triumph in the moment. I have a sore unstable ego and it attaches importance to every trade being a winner. Here I need to remind myself that I am NOT trading to prove my worth or my capabilities.

- I also need to remind myself that the moment I lay too much importance on this trade then if it goes on to become a loser then it will bring my self esteem to an even lower state! This usually works.

- If I find myself hesitating and my 'mentor' mind recognizes that it is due to the ego fearing a loss rather than because it is an invalid trade then I am indulging in 'self-disesteem' which is more a threat to my ego since it means a 'I can't do it!' I thus trick my ego!

- I appreciate myself and recognize what I do right and be easy on myself when I do things wrong, all the while as I improve.

- I need to work harder to deal with my over-anxious nature. I imagine that what I worry about has happened properly and congratulate myself for dealing with the event properly. I visualize positively instead of visualizing getting stopped out of the trade.

All the above are concrete steps that help me detach from results of a single trade.

Importantly, I need to never focus on the money goals - the single focus point is trading well by being detached from a single trade, any single trading day or a drawdown period and instead I visualize a steadily rising equity curve.

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #104 (permalink)
r3algood
Little Rock, Arkansas
 
 
Posts: 198 since Jul 2011
Thanks: 106 given, 108 received

iqgod,

Reading through your thread I want to congratulate you and encourage you to keep up the motivation and work you are clearly demonstrating throughout your posts.

But, I do want to ask you one thing, that I have asked myself multiple times:

"Am I over-complicating things?"

Plans and ideas are great (and necessary) but its the implementation is what matters.

I look forward to reading more posts from you, and following your journey.

Reply With Quote
The following 2 users say Thank You to r3algood for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #105 (permalink)
 Anagami 
Market Wizard
Cancun, Mexico
 
Experience: Advanced
Trading: Stock Index Futures / CFDs
 
Anagami's Avatar
 
Posts: 870 since Dec 2010
Thanks: 608 given, 1,957 received

Thanks for posting your plan.

One part of my plan that has helped me big time is:

HAVE FUN TRADING!

The ego is super-serious and turns everything into life/death struggle. I personally don't want to live like that. If I'm not enjoying myself, I don't wanna do it.

Having fun is one of my most important process goals. Psychology can easily make or break one's success.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." - Milton
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users say Thank You to Anagami for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #106 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received


Anagami View Post
Thanks for posting your plan.

One part of my plan that has helped me big time is:

HAVE FUN TRADING!

The ego is super-serious and turns everything into life/death struggle. I personally don't want to live like that. If I'm not enjoying myself, I don't wanna do it.

Having fun is one of my most important process goals. Psychology can easily make or break one's success.

Thanks for that!

I'll make sure to paste it on the top strip of my monitor.

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
 
(login for full post details)
  #107 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received





Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following 2 users say Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #108 (permalink)
 Anagami 
Market Wizard
Cancun, Mexico
 
Experience: Advanced
Trading: Stock Index Futures / CFDs
 
Anagami's Avatar
 
Posts: 870 since Dec 2010
Thanks: 608 given, 1,957 received

Would like to hear you comment on the last couple of days... that's where the value lies.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." - Milton
Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to Anagami for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #109 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received


Anagami View Post
the last couple of days...

Warning: Spoilers ahead!

What a joke I am (jest)!

The moment I get into high gear and start with the calm and confidence, am actually flowing with the market that something happens..... a flick off the fingers.... S N A P.

Something in my mind causes me to get
- bored
- casual

I am not a confident daredevil.
Not a fearful twitchy fingered scalper.

But a bored trader. Even though I am trading well. (and then as I gently realize that good trading is so boring, so run-of-mill than a regular 'exciting' day job with colleagues, water coolers, competition, merit outsmarting politics, the joy of your actions that are creating something that will help someone).... however I really know what I say is bull shit. THERE IS NO PLACE IN THE WORLD LIKE TRADING. Boring or otherwise.

So even when I know I am in the flow - A PART OF ME TRIES BEST TO SABOTAGE THE ROCK SOLID FOUNDATION I'VE BUILT. It tries to get some bloody excitement into my trading. Like excitement of bad trading. Excitement of making myself unavailable for the best and most liquid times of the day. Then the excitement of feeling frustration over missing the moves I had been really waiting for all day.

And to make the joke complete - Plato's ghost haunts me - what will you do with all this money once you have it?


So I have not posted, but have rather tried to analyze where these thoughts are coming from.

I have found the answers deep inside. There is an other part to me.

Deep inside I feel safe as a loser.
As a conformist middle class yes man.
I find that mediocrity liberates me and keeps me 'stress free'.

By not trying I take away the right of demons to haunt me.

But even then the supreme being inside me (who is inside everybody) is finally talking these days... though in a subdued voice... it tells me that I must complete this journey.

Now that I've spit out my worst loser attitudes out for all to see I no longer feel ashamed and depressed.

I am now on guard about this other part.

In fact I realize and acknowledge these thoughts for what they are. Simply demons that must be ushered back to the mindless ether that exists between the purposeful neurons of my brain. The Bye bye has started already with this post.

I must establish a baseline in my trading that is built upon the foundation of hard work and study I have managed to build till now.

I MUST continue to grow.

This struggle is not a simple one mainly because trading requires a person to go against every fibre of 'being human' whatever that means to each of us. It is a constant upstream struggle against being human. It is simple but far from easy.

However I see my trading journey perfectly now.

What I want from it.

What I will need to do exactly.

What do I exactly want to achieve.

What I see is what I get.

In trading the correct belief system is the ultimate edge.

I am currently so deep inside that it is difficult for me to emerge and throw out bits of what I am digging up. Some are ugly and need to be hidden. Some are ugly and need to see the light of the day which will melt them and they will slither away from my life as if they never existed.

Sorry for sounding so cryptic but the mish mash of frequencies I am trying to tune to to find a perfect one leaves me the speechless equivalent of a blog.

You many check out however my other blog post where I risked real money in the Indian markets and exited the loser at 1% of my risk capital - it was an imperfect trade that still smells of too early an entry, which caused the loss at the exact extreme when the market was about to reverse. It was a great learning experience for me.


I will continue posting parts of my plan - however this deep contemplation needs to be converted to an actionable set of steps first.

A trading plan is simply a narrow rope bridge that outlines the way to build a rope bridge over a river of lava (market) - the ways to avoid taking that tiny step, where to keep looking (forward) and studying the river for the narrowest places to cross over (technical analysis, tape reading). When a plan does not provide a wayfarer who leans over and tries to fathom the river by staring at the hot lava (which is a metaphor for taking huge losses and expecting it to be a learning experience) is the necessary mental toughness and aptitude that are assumed to be 'givens'. The wayfarer thus has to sit on the rocking rope bridge right in the middle of the fumes and move further only till he has mustered up enough courage, sense of direction, and faith in himself. However, like in all journeys and so in a combine, the rope is fraying (combine time ending?) with every rocking of the bridge and there is a danger of total collapse if he does not hurry up the process of getting up, wiping off the dust and proceeding on the treacherous path. If instead he chooses in his remaining moments to scurry over in a haphazard manner with scant regards to the strength of the structure the fall is inevitable. So he must always remember that success is within him and the rope bridge is only a means of getting over.

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #110 (permalink)
 jimjones26 
Tulsa OK
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: NinjaTrader/Jigsaw Tools
Broker: Deep Discount Trading/TT
Trading: ZN, ZB
 
Posts: 162 since Jul 2009
Thanks: 138 given, 207 received

Your words, spoken or written, are very powerful. You need to be more mindful of what you are confessing about yourself!

20,000,000
Visit my futures io Trade Journal Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to jimjones26 for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #111 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received


jimjones26 View Post
Your words, spoken or written, are very powerful. You need to be more mindful of what you are confessing about yourself!

Thanks Jim!

However the moment I floored the words and threw them down on this journal with force I already felt ready to be trading mindfully again.

Journaling works on an intimate level - it works best for me when I bare all, (openly or not I am not bothered, mainly because I barely have time to shape myself, without having additional time to think about what others think about me).

But I promise to not mix a cocktail of potent information and blog it with scant regard for my innermost being who may be wary of attention, like a frightened puppy who has backed up into a hole after a traumatic event.

Promise! and thanks for being honest!

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
 
(login for full post details)
  #112 (permalink)
 Anagami 
Market Wizard
Cancun, Mexico
 
Experience: Advanced
Trading: Stock Index Futures / CFDs
 
Anagami's Avatar
 
Posts: 870 since Dec 2010
Thanks: 608 given, 1,957 received


iqgod View Post
Warning: Spoilers ahead!

What a joke I am (jest)!

The moment I get into high gear and start with the calm and confidence, am actually flowing with the market that something happens..... a flick off the fingers.... S N A P.

Something in my mind causes me to get
- bored
- casual

I am not a confident daredevil.
Not a fearful twitchy fingered scalper.

But a bored trader. Even though I am trading well. (and then as I gently realize that good trading is so boring, so run-of-mill than a regular 'exciting' day job with colleagues, water coolers, competition, merit outsmarting politics, the joy of your actions that are creating something that will help someone).... however I really know what I say is bull shit. THERE IS NO PLACE IN THE WORLD LIKE TRADING. Boring or otherwise.

So even when I know I am in the flow - A PART OF ME TRIES BEST TO SABOTAGE THE ROCK SOLID FOUNDATION I'VE BUILT. It tries to get some bloody excitement into my trading. Like excitement of bad trading. Excitement of making myself unavailable for the best and most liquid times of the day. Then the excitement of feeling frustration over missing the moves I had been really waiting for all day.

And to make the joke complete - Plato's ghost haunts me - what will you do with all this money once you have it?


So I have not posted, but have rather tried to analyze where these thoughts are coming from.

I have found the answers deep inside. There is an other part to me.

Deep inside I feel safe as a loser.
As a conformist middle class yes man.
I find that mediocrity liberates me and keeps me 'stress free'.

By not trying I take away the right of demons to haunt me.

But even then the supreme being inside me (who is inside everybody) is finally talking these days... though in a subdued voice... it tells me that I must complete this journey.

Now that I've spit out my worst loser attitudes out for all to see I no longer feel ashamed and depressed.

I am now on guard about this other part.

In fact I realize and acknowledge these thoughts for what they are. Simply demons that must be ushered back to the mindless ether that exists between the purposeful neurons of my brain. The Bye bye has started already with this post.

I must establish a baseline in my trading that is built upon the foundation of hard work and study I have managed to build till now.

I MUST continue to grow.

This struggle is not a simple one mainly because trading requires a person to go against every fibre of 'being human' whatever that means to each of us. It is a constant upstream struggle against being human. It is simple but far from easy.

However I see my trading journey perfectly now.

What I want from it.

What I will need to do exactly.

What do I exactly want to achieve.

What I see is what I get.

In trading the correct belief system is the ultimate edge.

I am currently so deep inside that it is difficult for me to emerge and throw out bits of what I am digging up. Some are ugly and need to be hidden. Some are ugly and need to see the light of the day which will melt them and they will slither away from my life as if they never existed.

Sorry for sounding so cryptic but the mish mash of frequencies I am trying to tune to to find a perfect one leaves me the speechless equivalent of a blog.

You many check out however my other blog post where I risked real money in the Indian markets and exited the loser at 1% of my risk capital - it was an imperfect trade that still smells of too early an entry, which caused the loss at the exact extreme when the market was about to reverse. It was a great learning experience for me.


I will continue posting parts of my plan - however this deep contemplation needs to be converted to an actionable set of steps first.

A trading plan is simply a narrow rope bridge that outlines the way to build a rope bridge over a river of lava (market) - the ways to avoid taking that tiny step, where to keep looking (forward) and studying the river for the narrowest places to cross over (technical analysis, tape reading). When a plan does not provide a wayfarer who leans over and tries to fathom the river by staring at the hot lava (which is a metaphor for taking huge losses and expecting it to be a learning experience) is the necessary mental toughness and aptitude that are assumed to be 'givens'. The wayfarer thus has to sit on the rocking rope bridge right in the middle of the fumes and move further only till he has mustered up enough courage, sense of direction, and faith in himself. However, like in all journeys and so in a combine, the rope is fraying (combine time ending?) with every rocking of the bridge and there is a danger of total collapse if he does not hurry up the process of getting up, wiping off the dust and proceeding on the treacherous path. If instead he chooses in his remaining moments to scurry over in a haphazard manner with scant regards to the strength of the structure the fall is inevitable. So he must always remember that success is within him and the rope bridge is only a means of getting over.

Thanks for baring your soul!

You gotta watch this scene from Two for the Money, as he discusses some similar issues. We just want to feel alive!!! Unfortunately, sometimes losing is the best way to do that.... gotta find cheaper alternatives.

What you wrote is scary:
Deep inside I feel safe as a loser.
As a conformist middle class yes man.
I find that mediocrity liberates me and keeps me 'stress free'.

It's scary because it's true about so many of us. I'm thinking of the Jonah complex.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." - Milton
Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to Anagami for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #113 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received

@jimjones26 and I had a private chat that I felt was too valuable to confine to PMs.

With his permission I am reproducing excerpts of the chat that will be useful to some of the trading community:



jimjones26 - Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:37:19 -0400
The Best Les Brown You Ever Heard!!! - YouTube

Worried? TD Jakes talks about YOUR MIND - YouTube

Don't focus on the religious aspect of these videos, they have great info in them also.






jimjones26 - Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:37:19 -0400

Re: Can you explain more please?

Many times reading your posts I noticed a tendency to talk down to yourself. It appears to be in jest, or maybe half joking. But what you say about yourself, what you dwell on in your mind, is who you become. Instead of speaking to who you think you are, start speaking words and dwelling on thoughts that describe who you want to become.




iqgod - Tue, 23 Apr 2013
Quoting
I am not a confident daredevil.
Not a fearful twitchy fingered scalper.

But a bored with life, slumped down, depressed trader.

That is not who you want to become! But by speaking those words (or writing them in this case), you are telling your brain that's who it is, you subconscious. And if you keep thinking / saying things like that, that is who you will end up becoming.

Your subconscious mind is a fascinating thing. It has no idea what is real or fake. All it knows is what it is fed, and it is constantly working to make what it is fed reality. When you say something like "I'm a bored with life, slumped down depressed trader", that is filed in your brain, and your subconscious goes to work making sure that info it received is, or becomes, reality for you, whether or not it's true. That's what I meant by your words are powerful.

That's why it's important to guard what you read, who you hang out with, what you speak about yourself. Start speaking positive things about yourself. Get rid of the negative talk.


Quoting

I know who I am and I know where I want to go. I'm accumulating knowledge and experiences and feelings and philosophies that will help prepare me for opportunities that I know will show up without notice or any help on my part. - Jim Rhon

This should help get you started.

Les Brown: Mindset Development And Maintenance - YouTube

Heartfelt thanks to Jim!

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #114 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received




Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #115 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received

Mental Edge Tips

- Always strive to be aware of and in tune with your thoughts, emotions, and actions and how they are interrelating and driving one another at any given moment in time.

- Trying to understand your subconscious mind is like trying to chase the wind. Merely trying to master your conscious mind (thoughts, emotions, and behaviors) is a plenty difficult task in itself, start there!

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
 
(login for full post details)
  #116 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received




Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following 3 users say Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #117 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received

One problem I need to overcome is when the volatility expands I become shy of approaching the market - even when I can sense that the volatility is on MY side and the technical conditions point to the market exploding my way and yielding a huge profit.

I have NOT been taking those trades when upfront courage is needed and secondly the ability to withstand the fluctuations and not move either the stop or target are needed.

Hence this is turning into a defensive trade combine which is barely at breakeven instead of yielding the proper amount of profits.

One way I have found I can overcome these problems is to use a ROLE MODEL.

@PandaWarrior has been an inspiration to hold for larger targets and walk away after a predetermined hours of trading. I will humbly try to emulate him and always try to honor my stops and targets - which also implies that the entry points I choose need to make me comfortable with the stop size and the target must be predetermined - Brian effortlessly takes 30 or 50 ticks from the market and then walks away once done and isn't tempted to come back. I will choose to apply these two learnings from him.

I need to trust the probabilities that the current move will keep going for a while.

@GaryD has been an inspiration for being in the present moment - he has learnt to develop an intuitive feel for the market's voice AND LISTENS TO IT. I have developed the intuitive feel to a small extent BUT I DON'T LISTEN TO IT. From him I hope to learn how to walk my wisdom's talk.

I need to learn to go with what currently IS.

@josh has been an inspiration to hone my craft and art which is possible only only in the frame of context. By knowing what the market really is and who you really are. And acting only when you sense both of these entities (market and you) are ready to accept your action.

I will always remember to place the market in its context i.e. know the market's place and then I will go to identify MY place (based on my capital, my limitations, my personality traits, my risk tolerance) in that place in the market i.e. I am separate from the market.

@jimjones26 has reminded me to THINK POSITIVE instead of riddling myself with self-doubt.

Winners expect to win. Losers expect to lose. And both realize their expectations more often than not. We go in the direction of our dominant thoughts and we tend to bring those thoughts into reality.

@Anagami has reminded how rooted we are in our perceptions; has reintroduced me to Vipassana Meditation for MINDFULNESS. When I feel an adrenaline rush am I to interpret it as a possibility that something wonderful could happen or a sign that something awful could happen. He reminds me that for the risk taker and the risk manager (both of whom are a single person really) the uncertainty between a SMALL loss and a LARGE profit is where the fun lies. This does not mean trading for the thrill of it. Rather the opposite.

The precept? If I tend to over risk, I need to pull myself within my frame of safety. I need to establish trading guidelines which will protect me. I promise to step back each time I am overtrading. However I must learn to embrace volatility when it is within the frame of my safety.

However, if I tend to avoid risk, I will expand my frame of safety. I will slowly add risk so that I stay emotionally neutral. Trading should be fun, but more importantly trading should also be profitable. That statement alone will keep the cheap thrills of taking random unplanned emotional losses at bay.

There really are too many good Samaritans here, including @Big Mike. I've only named a few.

I will add others here as my gratitude becomes aware of more influences!

However this should currently suffice to take my trading to a new level!

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following 6 users say Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #118 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received


Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
 
(login for full post details)
  #119 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received





Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following 2 users say Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #120 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received

I end the day quite cheerfully.

I am down $497.50, just $2.50 away from the daily loss limit, solely trading the 6J.



The memories are hazy, but today was an 'unmindful' day - I observe that there is an intimate connection between haziness and unmindfulness. A truly awful day, but I will take it for what it is really - a treasure trove for its L E A R N I N G S but of course that means that I have 'learnt' and will never repeat such a day again. (Otherwise there have been no learnings!)



There are only two ways an equity curve can go i.e. up and down. When the up part is in play the risk manager is in a neutral state which is okay but needs watching when he is euphoric or bloated with self-importance. Mine was the latter. When the down part comes in then the whole plethora and gamut of emotions needs to be managed and real skill is involved.


What went wrong?

My integrity was not bulletproof today.

I had ulterior motives - I was not trading to make money today, there was an 'ego stake' at play.

My humility nose-dived and my ego came into play.


Effect: I started the day with two trades that yielded one tick profit. I then went on to take a dicey trade which I almost subconsciously realized would not work yet I held on and which I had to close at a loss of $237..50

How many technical reasons were against it?

- I took a buy at the place where a reversal bar grazed the bear trendline.
- I held on even when an ii pattern formed (Al Brooks - an inside bar inside an inside bar). ii patterns are great reversal patterns. The stop for an ii pattern that is showing a bearish reversal is below the low of both the bars (in a bear trend, a bullish trend is now expected to emerge out of the ii).
- I held on even when the ii pattern's stop was violated. I MOVED MY STOP. Result is -$237 instead of -$100 and I had realized that I should scratch the trade at -$40 or so!

If ever there is the zenith of an optimistic thought in trading, this is it.

Internal Dialogue: Here my pride was at play. What will the traders at Big Mike think if I don't atleast get a refund for this combine? What will I tell myself - that I am a failure? and so on and so forth.

Cause: I was aware that I was thinking 'need to fix statistics, need to fix statistics' over and over. My intuition alerted me that this was bad but I ignored it.





Effect: I scalped till the physical limits I could push myself to. From -$237.50 I brought down the loss to -$40. For this I OVERTRADED. Today's trade count is 57 trades, which is higher by over a factor of ten times my acceptable daily limit of five trades.



Cause: My ego was in euphoria. I can do it! I can bring a $237 loss to $40! I am the flipper! Call me Paul Rotter!
What am I doing in an el cheapo combine when I could be flipping billions (why I was even thinking about which hedge fund should I choose from the multiple offer I have (in the daydream)).... etc. etc.

It is quite a feeling. Also I was in a heightened emotional state, in a sort of a high. I was coming to the end of my endurance after the four dozen or so trades. I was predicting one tick moves correctly (tick scalping). I was fetching $7.50 per trade after commissions. I decided I had it made. I placed a short order at 10195 and 'expected it' to be the double top of the day. SO I set a sell stop and then I immediately sensed something amiss and that I should cancel the order when suddenly my internet went dead. As I was sorting that out - my laptop battery died on me. I switched over to the Webtrader version of TST on my smartphone, I saw that my short order had filled, and immediately my 10-tick stop was hit.

I was mentally venting... trying to play the blame game - the worst kind where you know you have made a mistake and know it but want to squarely place the blame on the internet, or the other dozen things that had 'interrupted' my flow.


Now it will fall! I shorted again and then saw ... a line inching forward ... it was the daily loss limit percentage which stood at 88%! I was down $440! Flatten button and pulled pending orders.


Then I started feeling 'now I've NOTHING to lose'. Instead of showing the folks at Big Mike a -$440 figure why not be brave and get a rebate by scalping hard again?

So I started again. With a two tick stop! First trade: Plus one tick profit. Then another trade..sheesh the two tick stop had been hit! Down -$480.

NOW I WAS BRAVEHEART. Where did that effect come from? I guess there is a daredevil ego that wanted to be right in the final moment!

The point is that I had chosen my entry carefully. The one tick stop was respected. Price fell down exactly 10 ticks (my original target!). I should have protected my profits. Ego in control. Why let go the rest of the trend by trailing your stop? I suddenly decided to play @PandaWarrior. I will leave my one tick stop there and then place my target at 50 ticks. Why do these ideas dawn on me at the most inopportune moments?

So I wanted. You stop was respected - my ego whispered. Just ride down 50 ticks or more like @PandaWarrior after that.

Alas... the market came back and hit my stop.

Day's total: -$497.50.

DLL not hit.

Moral: ... is a Persian proverb - Believe in the almighty but hitch your camel securely.



P.S.: I am not posting the charts today. The entries and exits are so rapid and the bars cannot be seen in the dense buy sell markings - 57 trades today and right on 75% of trades. But hugging the DLL at the end of the day!

Thank god for this combine. Thank god for a daily loss limit. Trading is a profession fraught with risks and hitching the camel must always be the first step.

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following 5 users say Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #121 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received


Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
 
(login for full post details)
  #122 (permalink)
 Anagami 
Market Wizard
Cancun, Mexico
 
Experience: Advanced
Trading: Stock Index Futures / CFDs
 
Anagami's Avatar
 
Posts: 870 since Dec 2010
Thanks: 608 given, 1,957 received

I don't know... I used to trade like that. Then I realized that I found it psychologically unpleasant and physiologically unsustainable (burned out).

These days I make 1-2 trades max. This gives me time to breathe and observe.

But to each his own. Don't let me sway you in any way. You have to find out what works for you.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." - Milton
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users say Thank You to Anagami for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #123 (permalink)
 PandaWarrior 
In the heat
 
Experience: None
 
PandaWarrior's Avatar
 
Posts: 3,163 since Mar 2010
Thanks: 6,328 given, 13,383 received


iqgod View Post
I suddenly decided to play @PandaWarrior. I will leave my one tick stop there and then place my target at 50 ticks. Why do these ideas dawn on me at the most inopportune moments?

So I wanted. You stop was respected - my ego whispered. Just ride down 50 ticks or more like @PandaWarrior after that.

There is no glory in trying to be like me or anyone else. In fact, trying to be like someone else will lead to your ruin. You MUST be yourself. Use mine or others ideas IF they fit your personality and style. Otherwise, it will only end badly.

Cheers.

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, Leonardo da Vinci


Most people chose unhappiness over uncertainty, Tim Ferris
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users say Thank You to PandaWarrior for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #124 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received


Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following 5 users say Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #125 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received


Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following 2 users say Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #126 (permalink)
 rubyslippage 
Phoenix, AZ
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: Multiple
Trading: CL, ES
 
rubyslippage's Avatar
 
Posts: 76 since Jun 2012
Thanks: 26 given, 505 received


iqgod View Post
The memories are hazy, but today was an 'unmindful' day - I observe that there is an intimate connection between haziness and unmindfulness. A truly awful day, but I will take it for what it is really - a treasure trove for its L E A R N I N G S but of course that means that I have 'learnt' and will never repeat such a day again. (Otherwise there have been no learnings!)

What went wrong?

My integrity was not bulletproof today.

I had ulterior motives - I was not trading to make money today, there was an 'ego stake' at play.

My humility nose-dived and my ego came into play.

Many thanks for sharing the details of your path to attaining a trader's mindset. This is a real treasure for yourself and others. I kept a long public journal when I started out and my ability to repeat mistakes was astonishing. Unfortunately my mistakes were made with real money. The TST combine is a very low-risk way to put your trading plan and your mindset to the test.

Four years ago, after yet another round of repeated mistakes, I posted in my journal:

This has been one hell of a tough month, but these are the lessons you need early in your trading career, not later.

...cut losses quickly on ALL trades. I can have a long string of profitable trades, and cut losses quickly, and then suddenly assume a setup is so strong it deserves to be held onto, because surely it will retrace that big move. No. Wrong. Every trade is a brand new one and there can be no exceptions to risk management. Period.

Someone posted this on [another forum] and I have it on my wall now:

“Being disciplined in the past isn’t good enough: on each and every trade you must be disciplined. Forever. Like a drunk in a program you can NEVER slip off the wagon.”


You're aware of your mistakes, of the negative thinking habits that lead to negative trading results. I recommend developing a specific plan for handling the various situations that snowball into a negative result and sometimes into revenge trading madness. Have a specific consequence for each negative thought and each negative action (trading outside the plan).

I now have enough experience that I simply step away if I make a couple mistakes in a row. I walk outside and breathe deeply and re-center myself. I can then come back and recover easily.

If that doesn't work, then it might be a good idea to have a Daily Mistake Limit and if you hit it, you're done for the day. That should help keep you from hitting a daily loss limit. Then if you find yourself violating THAT rule, you'll have to get an Enforcer

Reply With Quote
The following 7 users say Thank You to rubyslippage for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #127 (permalink)
Pedro40
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
 
 
Posts: 563 since Jan 2013
Thanks: 33 given, 377 received

iqgod, you still have 3 full days, you can still trade on May the 3rd. So start swingin'.....

Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to Pedro40 for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #128 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received


Pedro40 View Post
iqgod, you still have 3 full days, you can still trade on May the 3rd. So start swingin'.....

As per my plan as April 2013 ends, it is the end of my personal journey for this particular combine.

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
 
(login for full post details)
  #129 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received

When an archer is shooting for nothing he has all his skill.
If he shoots for a brass buckle he is already nervous.
If he shoots for a prize of gold
he goes blind
or sees two targets
- he is out of his mind!

His skill has not changed. But the prize
divides him. He cares.
He thinks more of winning than of shooting
and the need to win
drains him of power.

- Chang Tzu

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote
The following 2 users say Thank You to iqgod for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #130 (permalink)
 tgibbs 
Temecula, CA
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: Ninja
Trading: CL
 
Posts: 146 since Sep 2012
Thanks: 91 given, 172 received


iqgod View Post
When an archer is shooting for nothing he has all his skill.
If he shoots for a brass buckle he is already nervous.
If he shoots for a prize of gold
he goes blind
or sees two targets
- he is out of his mind!

His skill has not changed. But the prize
divides him. He cares.
He thinks more of winning than of shooting
and the need to win
drains him of power.

- Chang Tzu

This is what makes trading so fun I think. My other passion is rodeo, team roping specifically. When your at home practicing without any pressure everything happens in slow motion, you can catch anything. Small local jackpot comes up and the pressure ups a smidgen. Still not too big of a deal as not much is on the line yet. Know you jump up to a full rodeo where the winner takes home a bunch of hundred dollar bills, you get the music blaring, the announcer talking everything up, telling you how fast you have to be before you even walk in the arena, the pressure just got ramped to the tip top. I have been there and done that, won some, lost more but I keep going back. Keep practicing. In rodeo I figure its 50% just dry talent, 50% emotions and I think the same is true for trading as well. I have ridden for way longer than I have traded and my first thought when I traded real money was I feel like I'm at the top with everybody watching, and I keep coming back for more

Reply With Quote
The following user says Thank You to tgibbs for this post:
 
(login for full post details)
  #131 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
iqgod's Avatar
 
Posts: 1,802 since Feb 2012
Thanks: 3,650 given, 3,093 received

Continues here...

A TopStepTrader's Real Money Combine

Visit my futures io Trade Journal Started this thread Reply With Quote


futures io Trading Community Trading Journals > A TopStepTrader's Humble-Pie-Way: A TST Combine Journal of iqgod's "Take 2"


Last Updated on June 24, 2013


Upcoming Webinars and Events
 

NinjaTrader Indicator Challenge!

Ongoing
 

Journal Challenge w/$1,800 in prizes!

April
     



Copyright © 2021 by futures io, s.a., Av Ricardo J. Alfaro, Century Tower, Panama, Ph: +507 833-9432 (Panama and Intl), +1 888-312-3001 (USA and Canada), info@futures.io
All information is for educational use only and is not investment advice.
There is a substantial risk of loss in trading commodity futures, stocks, options and foreign exchange products. Past performance is not indicative of future results.
no new posts