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TST Combine Journal


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TST Combine Journal

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  #391 (permalink)
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Awareness - the beginning of all learning.

The process of learning naturally involves errors. Errors aren't the problem; ignoring or misunderstanding them is. In order to correct an error, you must first be fully aware of it, then the error is inevitable going to be corrected.

If awareness were merely intellectual, then infants couldn't learn.

Awareness heals, but it isn't always pleasant. Growth of awareness can be disillusioning. One sure sign of growing awareness is if you feel you're "getting worse". Increased awareness often entails a momentary drop in self-esteem, which explains the tendency to resist awareness.

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  #392 (permalink)
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

.....and just like that I trade like a crazy person. Stopped just shy of -$3k.

No words to describe the sheer frustration and dismay. I'm fine with losing trading a plan, but today was ridiculous.


 
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  #393 (permalink)
In the heat
 
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indextrader7 View Post
.....and just like that I trade like a crazy person. Stopped just shy of -$3k.

No words to describe the sheer frustration and dismay. I'm fine with losing trading a plan, but today was ridiculous.


without knowing a darn thing about what and why the horizontal indicator plotted lines are there.....i'm just saying...S/R isn't present because a line gets plotted, its present when price action says it is......


Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, Leonardo da Vinci


Most people chose unhappiness over uncertainty, Tim Ferris
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  #394 (permalink)
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Another combine is now toast.

This is really embarrassing to admit on a public journal, but I went in later in the day, and took a trade... knowing that it would have to pretty much be zero MAE to not exceed the daily loss limit. Insane behavior. Maybe I felt like I deserved to lose, to put a nail in the coffin, because I was upset with my lack of control to not over-trade?

Regardless, at least I improved from the first one.



There's not much to say really, other than the fact I may need to see a psychiatrist??

I'll go for another one soon, and continue to improve.

 
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  #395 (permalink)
denver, colorado
 
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indextrader7 View Post
Another combine is now toast.

This is really embarrassing to admit on a public journal, but I went in later in the day, and took a trade... knowing that it would have to pretty much be zero MAE to not exceed the daily loss limit. Insane behavior. Maybe I felt like I deserved to lose, to put a nail in the coffin, because I was upset with my lack of control to not over-trade?

There's not much to say really, other than the fact I may need to see a psychiatrist??

I'll go for another one soon, and continue to improve.

If it makes you feel any better I did the same thing on my first two combines. As well as my third. I did improve each one but haven't been able to meet the profit target yet. At least in my case my overtrading and allowing my losses to get too big were due to frustration with just not being able to trade well enough to make money consistently. Of course the problem of doing things you (or at least the "you" in more rational moments) know you should not be doing is something other than technical trading ability. I worked with andrew menaker for a time almost two years ago and one thing he strongly suggested was writing down how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking about doing, and whether my desire to do something was coming from an internal state or from an objective signal the market was giving. He wanted me to do this every 5 minutes throughout every trading day. Its a worthwhile exercise although difficult in practice - I think I was closer to every 15 minutes.

One thing you should definitely do in your next combine is something different (not necessarily something technically - doing something different procedurally will be more effective). In other words, don't just start another combine - figure out the most likely explanation for why you screwed up the first two and make a concrete plan to overcome whatever that main problem was in your next combine. I think if you just start again without changing something you won't improve as quick as you could.

good luck

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  #396 (permalink)
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indextrader7 View Post
Another combine is now toast.

This is really embarrassing to admit on a public journal, but I went in later in the day, and took a trade... knowing that it would have to pretty much be zero MAE to not exceed the daily loss limit. Insane behavior. Maybe I felt like I deserved to lose, to put a nail in the coffin, because I was upset with my lack of control to not over-trade?

Regardless, at least I improved from the first one.



There's not much to say really, other than the fact I may need to see a psychiatrist??

I'll go for another one soon, and continue to improve.

Your body/bio-chemistry is wired to make you survive. Losing money makes you react like you are 'dying', so whatever the risk you will trade to not die (not loose $$$).... It's a wired survival thing... To overcome this, you need to become expert in self-control and self-discipline which takes a long time to master... Notice that this behavior affect your max day loss but also your whole trading (entering, exiting in strange places, over-trading....)

Until then, you need an external source to stop you from trading when you should stop yourself trading, e.g. use a platform or have someone preventing you from trading whenever the max day/trade loss is reached. A trick that could help is to trade like the max day loss is not $3000 but let's say $2000....

Good luck on your self-improving path

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  #397 (permalink)
thabazimbi limpopo/south africa
 
 
Posts: 27 since Oct 2012
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OK, first off, sorry to hear you busted out.

Looking at your trade report I would like to offer some advise.

Slow it down, first off you must learn to be happy with less, you must learn to trust yourself to do the right thing.
Take a smaller combine
Be consistent in the amount of trades per day and the hours that you trade.
Be consistent in the amount you lose on a trade.

You must slow it down and start off by taking baby steps. Get some consistency going so that you build up your mental capital. First you must manage yourself and your actions before you can start managing your trading.

It is going to take time, you cant rush it. So don't be swinging the big account, don't let your equity curve have wild swings, you need to become stable and relaxed so that you can trust yourself in your actions.

Hope that helps
Ian

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  #398 (permalink)
Legendary Market Wizard
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indextrader7 View Post
Another combine is now toast.

This is really embarrassing to admit on a public journal, but I went in later in the day, and took a trade... knowing that it would have to pretty much be zero MAE to not exceed the daily loss limit. Insane behavior. Maybe I felt like I deserved to lose, to put a nail in the coffin, because I was upset with my lack of control to not over-trade?

Regardless, at least I improved from the first one.

There's not much to say really, other than the fact I may need to see a psychiatrist??

I'll go for another one soon, and continue to improve.

Sorry to hear about this. I was (and still am) rooting for you!

If you figure out the root cause of your self sabotage, you won't need a shrink.

Blowing out 2 Combines by breaking a rule which you had complete control over is just self sabotage. Maybe you are sabotaging your trades, too - I don't know. If you are, that should be even more incentive to figure this out.

Ask yourself this:
"Why did I take that last trade today, knowing a loss would cause me to fail the Combine? I could have stopped today under $3000 loss, and had 10 or so days left to get positive, or even pass. Why did I feel that living to fight another day was the less desirable option?"

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  #399 (permalink)
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Has your life outside of trading changed in the last six months or so? Is there some external pressure to succeed that is causing you to force things in trading? Do you have a regular sustainable income that more than covers your monthly cost of living so that you don't feel financial pressure to succeed at trading?

Mike

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  #400 (permalink)
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012



kevinkdog View Post
Sorry to hear about this. I was (and still am) rooting for you!

If you figure out the root cause of your self sabotage, you won't need a shrink.

Blowing out 2 Combines by breaking a rule which you had complete control over is just self sabotage. Maybe you are sabotaging your trades, too - I don't know. If you are, that should be even more incentive to figure this out.

Ask yourself this:
"Why did I take that last trade today, knowing a loss would cause me to fail the Combine? I could have stopped today under $3000 loss, and had 10 or so days left to get positive, or even pass. Why did I feel that living to fight another day was the less desirable option?"

When I ask myself those questions, (and trust me, I am....) I have no answers.... yet at least.

The closest I can get is that it comes down to risk seeking/will to win type mindset. Like behavioral econ type study... I placed MORE value on the CHANCE that I could salvage the losing day, than I did the risk of exceeding the DLL and ruining the chances to complete that combine. That tiny opportunity carried more value in my mind, else I would not have chosen that option.


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