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TST Combine Journal

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  #301 (permalink)
 josh 
Georgia, US
 
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indextrader7 View Post
hahahaha, what a day

Don't worry about it, look at it like practice--think of how good you'd feel if you lost money today. It's irrelevant, you just got a head start on the emotions of the combine without any profit or loss to show for it And on the plus side, I bet you'll never make this particular mistake again. Seriously, you should check to be sure that orders show up on both platforms to be sure it's set up correctly. And be sure the account name is correct and not some "practice" account that may also be listed.

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  #302 (permalink)
 Xav1029 
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josh View Post
Don't worry about it, look at it like practice--think of how good you'd feel if you lost money today. It's irrelevant, you just got a head start on the emotions of the combine without any profit or loss to show for it And on the plus side, I bet you'll never make this particular mistake again. Seriously, you should check to be sure that orders show up on both platforms to be sure it's set up correctly. And be sure the account name is correct and not some "practice" account that may also be listed.

And they won't see you adding to a loser...which I think they don't allow you to do in live prep

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  #303 (permalink)
 josh 
Georgia, US
 
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Xav1029 View Post
And they won't see you adding to a loser...which I think they don't allow you to do in live prep

Correct, but that's not an issue in the regular combine phase. And you get to define what "adding to a loser" is, so it depends.

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  #304 (permalink)
Pedro40
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One easy way to tell is that when you log in, the firm's name in Sim mode is TST and in Live mode it is PTP (Patak Trading Partners)

Actually, the whole log in info is different, so it should be obvious when you are using the Sim or the Live mode... You should have got a confirmation email giving you the combine log in info...

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  #305 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
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Pedro40 View Post
One easy way to tell is that when you log in, the firm's name in Sim mode is TST and in Live mode it is PTP (Patak Trading Partners)

Actually, the whole log in info is different, so it should be obvious when you are using the Sim or the Live mode... You should have got a confirmation email giving you the combine log in info...

Just for everyone else's sake... this is not accurate.

I was using the proper combine login info, just simply had the "Trade Simulation Mode On" checked under the "trade" toolbar menu.

 
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  #306 (permalink)
 omni72 
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indextrader7 View Post
Just for everyone else's sake... this is not accurate.

I was using the proper combine login info, just simply had the "Trade Simulation Mode On" checked under the "trade" toolbar menu.

Yeah, I did something very similar. If I recall, I actually did it two days in a row before I figured out what I had done. And you are correct, it had nothing to do with any login; I logged in correctly.

Oh well, take the chuckle for what it's worth and keep on truckin'

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. ~ Seneca
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  #307 (permalink)
 josh 
Georgia, US
 
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Pedro40 View Post
One easy way to tell is that when you log in, the firm's name in Sim mode is TST and in Live mode it is PTP (Patak Trading Partners)

Actually, the whole log in info is different, so it should be obvious when you are using the Sim or the Live mode... You should have got a confirmation email giving you the combine log in info...

Merritt already commented on this, but just to be clear, PTP is the firm name I have used from day one, and the login info is not different.

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  #308 (permalink)
 Silver Dragon 
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indextrader7 View Post
Just for everyone else's sake... this is not accurate.

I was using the proper combine login info, just simply had the "Trade Simulation Mode On" checked under the "trade" toolbar menu.

@indextrader7

See screenshot. I added a button to the tool bar to switch back and forth from SIM to my account. I like the visual cue better than it being hidden in a menu.

Goto Global Settings --> Customize Toolbar --> Toolbar 1 to add the button.

Robert




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  #309 (permalink)
Pedro40
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josh View Post
Merritt already commented on this, but just to be clear, PTP is the firm name I have used from day one, and the login info is not different.

Maybe it is because I used the plain T4 without SC or any other 3rd party software. I used a test account 3 times, it was TST all 3 times. I am on my 3rd Combine, it has been PTP all 3 times. There was no ambiguity at any point if it is a sim or live, nor did TST email any information how to set it up...

I am actually curious if this is an issue with more people why TST doesn't include a guide how to set it up correctly to avoid such a confusion???

Anyhow, since OP doesn't like me posting here, this is my last post in this thread... Good luck....

 
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  #310 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Excellent day today after the mishap yesterday.

Daily loss limit exceeded. Combine over on day 1. Thread closed.

 
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  #311 (permalink)
 addchild 
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indextrader7 View Post
Excellent day today after the mishap yesterday.

Daily loss limit exceeded. Combine over on day 1. Thread closed.

Sorry to hear that, what happened?

.
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  #312 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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indextrader7 View Post
Excellent day today after the mishap yesterday.

Daily loss limit exceeded. Combine over on day 1. Thread closed.

Please please please continue trading "pretending" that the Daily Loss Limit has NOT been hit.

You will be surprised at the 10x amount of LEARNING that happens after the pooooof release of stress that frees up your vision that would otherwise be on the P/L number.

This had happened to me and I kept trading with faith (faith in myself, just to be clear) and the losing part actually showed me how I was trading NOT to lose instead of trading to win.

We are here to learn to trade to win and not to trade to not lose.

I was sorry to hear this too but the market is a hard taskmaster. (If you had posted this at the start of the month I would have thought it was an April Fools joke, but sigh!)

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  #313 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Showcasing the superb risk management:


 
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  #314 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

I don’t think I’ve ever truly succeeded at anything in my life.

I don’t know if I will ever be able to not have blowout days in trading. This is my second one in 12 months. All it takes is ONE every 100 months to matter.

I know exactly where to exit trades for small losses. I cannot follow that rule 100% of the time.

I don’t know if I am cut out for trading. I know that I’m not cut out for trading if I cannot fix the problem, and the problem is me.

I don’t know how to fix the problem. There is a way to take the responsibility off myself and only keep enough margin in my personal account to where I’ll be hitting a margin call around the time of a daily loss limit. So that’s one thing I can do, but it doesn’t satisfy the root of the problem.

Honestly I’m tired. My arms are up in the air. I almost just don’t care.

This painful experience WILL NOT BE ENOUGH to change me. I’ve had plenty of them through the years, and I still go back to letting a trade get out of control from time to time.

I don’t know how to fix me.

 
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  #315 (permalink)
 jinhar 
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indextrader7 View Post
I donít think Iíve ever truly succeeded at anything in my life.

I donít know if I will ever be able to not have blowout days in trading. This is my second one in 12 months. All it takes is ONE every 100 months to matter.

I know exactly where to exit trades for small losses. I cannot follow that rule 100% of the time.

I donít know if I am cut out for trading. I know that Iím not cut out for trading if I cannot fix the problem, and the problem is me.

I donít know how to fix the problem. There is a way to take the responsibility off myself and only keep enough margin in my personal account to where Iíll be hitting a margin call around the time of a daily loss limit. So thatís one thing I can do, but it doesnít satisfy the root of the problem.

Honestly Iím tired. My arms are up in the air. I almost just donít care.

This painful experience WILL NOT BE ENOUGH to change me. Iíve had plenty of them through the years, and I still go back to letting a trade get out of control from time to time.

I donít know how to fix me.

Sorry to hear about your combine but again that's a start ... i had a similar problem like you mentioned just it used to happen every 3 months not 12 ... the only solution i found i already shared with you .. Control your gains .. i know you already told you are against it but try it now that you have nothing to loss ... i will tell you y and again this is what i had came up with when i was in same place like you .. when you trade freely like you are doing mind gets into habit and that habit is carried forward to day's like today also where your mind sub consciously knows that if you trade enuff you can come out of whatever hole you are in and that's where instead of taking losses and calling a day you keep on trading / adding on [whatever you do] your mind is heavily invested with your opinion.. On the other hand when you trade with fixed parameters for example in my case say 20 ticks win/ 40 loss if i have a bad day i know i have to stop as my hard stop is already double my average ticks my mind knows that , my mind knows that i wont be able to dig myself out as i always exit at fix target when i am right and even if trade goes 100 ticks in my favor so it does opposite of what it does in your scenario, it is scared in mine and after few losses starts to trade defensively [see i know this is hardly perfect but this is what i had to do to turn try it probably it will help you there is no certain way of telling unless you try] you said you don't know what to do .. then swing the bat one more time .. Best of luck with your future trading plans you are good just you need to get out into unknown for you something that hardly make sense i know but trading is a place where thing that doesn't make sense are the things that will work TRY IT [I am not a stat person like you are, but i can tell you this simple process has changed my Trading fortunes for last few years now ].

-Jinhar

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  #316 (permalink)
 josh 
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Merritt, I'm reading what you're writing here and first of all I'd like to say that you have my 100% respect for your candor and honest attitude about how you feel. Too often we pretend we don't care about losses, etc., and truth be told, none of us like to lose. I had a down day today myself and quit, because it just wasn't working. I'm not pissed, but would I have rather made money? Hell yeah.

I doubt I can say anything that will "cheer you up" right now, so maybe it's best if you just go to a batting cage or a driving range and beat the hell out of some balls of some kind; I don't know if that's healthy or not but it sounds good to me.

The first bright spot is that you did not lose $3000 of your own money. Yes, you paid a combine deposit so that was real, but you actually still get to use that for practice if you like, and it was $400 by comparison. To me, that's the point of this whole process--we get to work our shit out without losing more than is necessary, while still risking enough to "keep it real."

Secondly, if you look at what happened after you stopped out, you realize that the loss limit served its purpose. That's the whole point of having it. You lost 3 grand. But how much would you have continued to fight the market and lost if that limit were not in place? It sucks losing $3K, but it's devastating to lose $10K, $20K, etc.

When I have blown up before, it's because I thought that the big down move was about to reverse, and after losing a trade or two, I didn't want to "miss out" so I hold in hopes that it turns around, which of course it usually does not. Maybe that's your thinking as well, which makes it hard to close. You'd hate to close on the tick just before it goes your way, so you hold, thinking it might just work. You will have to work it out, but that's one possibility.

Technically, consider this--if I jump in the market without extreme confidence in my location, I am much more likely to take more heat than I should. For today, examine your entry points and ask--"did I have a very good reason with 100% confidence in entering here?" If you have a great reason, and you're confident that this is where you want to buy or sell, and if your stop is placed at a point where you honestly think your premise will be invalidated, then you should be able to more easily take your stop. However, if you think 65 is a good buy, and so is 64 maybe, and maybe 62 too, then when you enter at 65 with a stop at 63, you will not have extreme confidence that you will be wrong at 63, because you see 62 as a possible good buy too, so you will have a tendency to give it a longer leash. While I am not happy with my 2 losses today, I can say this--I was 100% confident in my location, and 100% confident that even if my stop was hit and it reversed and went my way, that I simply could not have known this (said another way, the low would be in a "random" or "middle of nowhere" location per my analysis) and that I had put the odds in my favor on this trade.

In the end, you are too good of a trader to let one day wipe out your confidence. Look at what you can improve in your entry/exit strategy, and in your own mind, and get back on the horse dude.

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  #317 (permalink)
 Brewer20 
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indextrader7 View Post
I don’t think I’ve ever truly succeeded at anything in my life.

I don’t know if I will ever be able to not have blowout days in trading. This is my second one in 12 months. All it takes is ONE every 100 months to matter.

I know exactly where to exit trades for small losses. I cannot follow that rule 100% of the time.

I don’t know if I am cut out for trading. I know that I’m not cut out for trading if I cannot fix the problem, and the problem is me.

I don’t know how to fix the problem. There is a way to take the responsibility off myself and only keep enough margin in my personal account to where I’ll be hitting a margin call around the time of a daily loss limit. So that’s one thing I can do, but it doesn’t satisfy the root of the problem.

Honestly I’m tired. My arms are up in the air. I almost just don’t care.

This painful experience WILL NOT BE ENOUGH to change me. I’ve had plenty of them through the years, and I still go back to letting a trade get out of control from time to time.

I don’t know how to fix me.

I have been there it7. On the combine no less. It sucks, but josh is spot on, this is the whole point of the combine; to work these bugs out.

When you are ready, pick yourself up and get back on the horse.

If I may, can I ask a few technical questions about today?
- Do you define your stop when you place the trade? Do you ever allow yourself to move it once in the trade. If you do, you must not move the stop.
- I would highly advise you to not add to trades. I'm not saying this is bad strategy, but it is much more complicated to manage risk. Leave this to the experts.
- Lastly, on your next combine, size your trades smaller. Two consecutive losing trades shouldn't hit your loss limit. For my style of trading, I allow for 5 consecutive losses and will still be ok. I'll likely have to stop for the day, but won't run into the loss limit.

I'm speaking from personal experience here. The first two problems were my downfall in my first combine.

Plan your trade, trade your plan.
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  #318 (permalink)
 TonyParisi 
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The old adage "If it were easy, everyone would do it" I'm not going to bs you, still learning this myself, I am by no means an expert. I did sit in on one of your screencasts a month or two back and if I may make an observation: You trade A LOT. You can tell me to go fk myself by all means, and I mean this with the best intentions but it seemed as if you were overtrading hardcore. Personally I didn't learn jack sim trading, I don't know if it is my personality or what, but once I transitioned to 1 lots (which I still do almost all of the time) everything changed. Accountability, accountability, accountability is what it took for me. Take it for what it's worth. Have you considered limiting your trades? I mean having some serious patience to take say, 3 trades a day and stick with it? This might force you to only take the setups you deem superior. Perhaps you have altered your trading style since the screencast or maybe that was just a bad day. If this is the case, disregard. Perhaps screencasting again will force you to be accountable. Either way, keep at it man, GRIND!

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  #319 (permalink)
 AttitudeTrader 
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I typically don't interject in these kinds of situations, because you're going to get plenty of advice. But since we've talked some and have become "friends," I will.

I've been where you are on a cyclical basis for 2 decades of my life. It seems that I've always been good at things I've tried at the beginning, but never fully succeeded at anything "important."

The frustration, demoralization, depression, and defeat that I've experienced in my trading "career" are branded on my psyche for the rest of my life. They're like some of the scars I have on my body - they will never go away. But I don't want them to, because they show me where I've come from and they remind me that because of them I have been made stronger. They remind me that I'm still here. That I'm still fighting.

Which is why I started the exercise I'm currently going through. I had to get away from trying to make money or figure the market out or meet some certain criterion.

I had to start from scratch. It has been difficult because I already knew so much about trading. Why would I want to "dumb myself down" and start over? And it seemed very slow at first, but I so badly wish that I had done this a long time ago. It has changed me as a trader and a person. I have more confidence in myself with regard not only to my trading, but all other aspects of my life.

Finding another "passion" is completely acceptable and I have the utmost respect for a decision like that.

But every time I "quit" I could never really quit. So if you decide to try again, consider starting from scratch and building a solid foundation. It will not be wasted time.

All the best to you man,

-AT

"Is it hard? Not if you have the right attitude. It's having the right attitude that's hard." - Robert Pirsig
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  #320 (permalink)
 Big Mike 
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Merritt you've shown a lot of skill most traders lack. Take a couple days off, clear your mind, and then start again. Every time you move forward you are gaining more experience.

You said you blew out twice in twelve months. Was this blow out less severe than the last? If so, it is improvement. Keep improving. Trading is all about small incremental changes that once tallied up will be the sum of your game, your edge. There is no single one thing that makes any trader a good trader. It's all about having all the pieces come together in the end.

Besides, a master trader is just someone who has made all the mistakes.

Mike

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  #321 (permalink)
 Daytrader999 
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I'm more and truely sad about what you mentioned in your last post than about the blown Combine because it seems that this ONE failed attempt took away all of your self-confidence not only in trading but in your whole life...

And I totally agree on what @josh and @AttitudeTrader said before, and the only thing I can add or contribute is a warm and hearty 'DON'T GIVE UP' as well as an emphatic 'KEEP ON WORKING ON IT', since this will be the only way to get out of that hole without giving your trading (career) an ultimate and final Goodbye.

So, that's just my $0.02, and I really hope you don't find this any kind of bothersome or inconvenient.

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  #322 (permalink)
 omni72 
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I'm mostly writing just to echo what so many other thoughtful futures.io (formerly BMT)'ers have written.

A couple of things I will add:

1. Recognize that we are all susceptible to the recency bias - today you'll likely overweigh what happened today and underweigh the previous day, week, month, year
2. Arbitrarily assigned time constraints are just that - arbitrary. The combine is an arbitrary 10- or 20-day container. Having a couple days similar today within in a year is an arbitrary container. You are involved in a process that is really unrelated to time. You're not past some deadline or anything like that. You are just somewhere along your own personal path.

None of this precludes you from addressing the things that are causing you to stumble, but I would hate to see you get sidetracked by potential blips on the overall grand scheme of things.

Also, you don't quit trading. It's La Cosa Nostra, it's our thing.

From one of the best movies ever made in the entire history of all mankind:



I've eaten the bar and it has eaten me. Both these things will happen again.

I've got more thoughts on this, but for the most part they probably just continue echoing what others have and will say.

Accept your stuff for what it is, hone in on the things you can directly control, and just keep swimming:


Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. ~ Seneca
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  #323 (permalink)
 FuturesTrader71 
 
 
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indextrader7 View Post
I donít think Iíve ever truly succeeded at anything in my life.

I donít know if I will ever be able to not have blowout days in trading. This is my second one in 12 months. All it takes is ONE every 100 months to matter.

I know exactly where to exit trades for small losses. I cannot follow that rule 100% of the time.

I donít know if I am cut out for trading. I know that Iím not cut out for trading if I cannot fix the problem, and the problem is me.

I donít know how to fix the problem. There is a way to take the responsibility off myself and only keep enough margin in my personal account to where Iíll be hitting a margin call around the time of a daily loss limit. So thatís one thing I can do, but it doesnít satisfy the root of the problem.

Honestly Iím tired. My arms are up in the air. I almost just donít care.

This painful experience WILL NOT BE ENOUGH to change me. Iíve had plenty of them through the years, and I still go back to letting a trade get out of control from time to time.

I donít know how to fix me.

I have a simple question: Are you or are you not committed to being a consistent trader?

In other words, given that we can't change the past and we live in the now-moment, what do you want to do? Would you like to complain, be a victim (maybe) or would you like to take actionable steps to potentially improve the situation for yourself?

Let me know and we can move forward.

Days like today are TEACHERS. They stress-test our risk plan, emotions and attitudes. How are you handling today's test?

Risk Disclaimer: Trading Futures is not suitable for all investors. Past Performance is not indicative of future results.

If you have any questions about the products or services provided, please send me a Private Message or use the futures.io "Ask Me Anything" thread
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  #324 (permalink)
 lancelottrader 
Legendary Market Wizard
west palm beach florida usa
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ninja trader
Broker: Optimus Futures/ Rithmic
Trading: NQ
 
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If you don't mind me chiming in..one thing to consider is that you were mostly trading oil for a while now. At least that's what I gathered from your journal. It appears you only recently switched over to ES . Most all your recent ES trades were probably done with no "skin in the game."

Now, you found yourself trading under pressure with another instrument than you were doing before. CL is a totally different animal than ES..

Before getting too down on yourself, consider how that may have played some role in what happened.
Anyhow, I know exactly how you feel..and I know it really sucks. Hang in there.

Failure is not an option
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  #325 (permalink)
 PandaWarrior 
In the heat
 
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Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, Tony Gwyn, Hank Aaron, Ted Williams, et al.....what do all the greats have in common? They struck out a LOT more than they got on base......and yet they knew the law of large numbers gave them an edge and they exploited that edge to greatness. I'm sure they all felt at times exactly like you do right now.....but we know who they are because they didn't quit.......champions pick up where losers leave off.

This was a blown day, NOT a blown account. $400 or less if you do a smaller combine and you can start over. No big deal....however as @FuturesTrader71 has mentioned, it really is a teachable moment. Greatness will lead you to embrace the teachable moment, to run to it, to fully internalize all you can from it.....this is greatness, accepting our weakness and yet never giving up.

Make no mistake, you have greatness in you....everyone here knows it....you are to young to be saying things like "I don't think I've ever truly succeeded at anything in my life" That is such a load of crap I can't believe you actually said it although I understand why and in fact, I've said the exact same thing in times past.....This is just us feeling sorry for ourselves. The truth is you've done more in your life than many others have. What actually happened is you let your emotions over rule your stats.....it happens. A screw up...so what. This is what the daily limit is for. It doesn't define you any more than the color of your car defines who you are.....its just a car and this is just a combine.....details.

Take a couple of days off, feel sorry for yourself for exactly one day, clear your head, go shoot something in the woods or go to the range with a full auto and let off a couple of mags....does wonders for your state of mind.....get back in the saddle soon.....

This will pass, I know, I've had my fair share of them......

Some success cliches.....




Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, Leonardo da Vinci


Most people chose unhappiness over uncertainty, Tim Ferris
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  #326 (permalink)
 cmmichaels 
London England
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: Metatrader
Trading: Spot $
 
Posts: 91 since Apr 2012
Thanks: 1,075 given, 149 received

I'm really sorry about whats happened. I don't know too much about trading yet compared to you so I'll keep it brief but you're an incredible trader with some amazing ingrained skills, experiences and natural talent and nothing can take it away from you. To say I think quitting trading would be a shame is an understatement. I don't think you'll be focusing right now on just how good you are and how much you've learnt because of whats happened recently as @omni72 pointed out in his excellent post but it is a fact and one that I think you should focus on as soon as possible.

With regards to you've never achieved at anything I only know what you've written on here but I remember that when you started your first journal you said you were doing your series 7 while pulling all this money from the market I remember thinking this guy is super-human. If anything you've been a massive over-achiever than the norm so don't go down that road brother because its not true.

Thanks for all your help you've given me along the way.

Hope to see you back here soon.

Mike

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  #327 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

To each of you mentioned in this post, I offer a very warm, very heartfelt, thank you. Your words today showed me a great act of kindness and compassion. Today I received back tenfold whatever I may have contributed to this community.

@iqgod Thank you. Trade to win, don't trade not to lose. A subtle yet important shift in mindset. Especially going forward from this blow to ego.

@jinhar Thank you. My mind certainly was invested heavily in my opinion, very true.

@josh Thank you. Good point about the fact that this was a lost combine deposit vs an actual multi-thousand dollar down day. Also, wow, great wisdom about the confidence in entry location connecting with the large loss. You're totally right. My entry was not confident at all, it was not actually a setup, it was simply an entry long because there was a stall in the down move and I hoped for an upward rotation. I continually found spots lower and lower where I could "hope" the level would support price. This is certainly one of the best takeaways from all of today.

@Brewer20 Thank you. I certainly did not have a clearly defined stop today. All the stops for my entries should have been at most a point and a half away. I trade direct movements in price action, and should never be in a position where I'm hoping for things to turn around. You're right about the fact that I shouldn't add to trades. I have proven that I am not capable of that advanced strategy at this point in my trading. You're also right about size, I added to the position and was loaded up 12 contracts. Not a good idea at the onset of the combine before a cushion built especially. Based on the p/l I'm capable of producing, I don't need to trade that large anyways to successfully hit the p/l goals.

@TonyParisi Thank you. You're right bro, I certainly do overtrade at times. It's something I've been "aware" of for quite a while, but since I'm profitable I've been ignoring it. Certainly something for me to add to the to do list for the continual revamping process we call trading. I'm a huge fan of accountability, it's part of the reason I have journals on futures.io (formerly BMT). What steps did you take to add accountability that helped you the most?

@AttitudeTrader Thank you. Thanks for the kind words, and being relate-able. Honestly, I think I'm "too good" a trader to start over totally. Maybe this is wrong, but I'm just giving an honest answer. Now, clearly there are things that need fixing, but I think I can continue to trade well the majority of the time while working on some of these psychological gaps I clearly have. Expound to my response if you feel the need.

@Big Mike Thank you. Helps me put things in perspective a bit better. Also, great comment regarding needing ALL the pieces to come together. The good thing is that through consistent journaling, I'm getting a very clear picture of exactly what pieces I have as strengths and what pieces I lack.

@Daytrader999 Thank you. I won't give up. You're certainly not bothersome, I appreciate you taking the time to offer your thoughts. You're so right about the one failed attempt bleeding over into my whole life perspective. Oddly, just the other day ( i forget where) but here on futures.io (formerly BMT) I made a post to someone about not letting their trading affect their personal self worth. Here I was today doing exactly that. Thanks.

@omni72 Thank you. Totally right about the recency bias, great point. I do need to keep the bigger picture in mind each day. Love the Big Lebowski clip, thank you.

@FuturesTrader71 Thank you. I am totally committed to being a consistent trader. Thank you for making it (embarrassingly) clear that I was actually just being a baby this morning! (not sarcastic i mean it) I certainly want to take actionable steps to improve. Yes, interesting way of looking at it, my risk plan (lack thereof) was totally pointed out as flawed today by this type of market move, good point. I hope to hear more from you.

@lancelottrader Thank you. Yes, that's actually something I didn't consider until my gf (and now you) pointed it out. CL gives such a quick death, that I may possibly have respected risk more in that market. ES being slower, I may have gotten in a mindset that it won't burn me as bad. Learned that is wrong today! Thanks for bringing that point up.

@PandaWarrior Thank you. You're really right, today was a blown DAY, not a blown account. Mainly it was a blown mindset/discipline deal for me. Today is no bid deal in the grand scheme of things as you point out. Thank you for the kind words man. Really made me feel good. Tons of wisdom about letting emotions overrule my stats. If I look at a historical p/l chart, today is barely noticeable, just a blip. Still a rising equity curve.

@cmmichaels Thanks man. Such kind words and complements, thanks so much. Focus shifted to my longer term performance. You and @PandaWarrior have made me rethink the not successful post. I'm an accomplished fiddle player, a near-scratch golfer, a very competitive tennis player (4.5), I consistently bowl 200+ games, I'm good enough at the guitar to be able to play most SRV and Hendrix stuff, and I can shoot a squirrel offhand from a hundred yards with a .22 without a scope. I am hard on myself to my detriment, and yall's posts helped me rethink that a bit. I need to work on not being so dang hard on myself, as well as a stronger attitude of gratitude (I think they go hand in hand).

My thoughts in summary... after a few hours away and some introspection, as well as the help from you guys, I feel a ton better about today. Longer term perspective is key. Still a let-down to have a lapse in discipline/risk mgmt, and I've come to some conclusions on it. Today I now realize that I did not mentally prep/check myself as I typically do. I was back in autopilot trading without any real checking in with myself. I realize that the mishap yesterday also had me in a bit of a "revenge" mode for today. I wanted that +$1k in my combine account, and by george, I was going to put it "back in" with my trading today. This guided my decisions rather than a supreme acknowledgement of the ever-importance of risk management. Risk management is it, without it there is nothing. I'm thinking of how I can put both pre-session, and throughout-session protocols in place to continually remind me of where my focus should be. Also reminders to "check in" to see what's going on up there.

Overall, again, just really thankful for the outpouring of the community here at futures.io (formerly BMT). If I skipped someone, it's totally by accident. Thanks guys, I'll be in SIM for a while, and then back in the live and/or TST saddle soon.

 
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  #328 (permalink)
 MsFutures 
Manchester, NH
 
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indextrader7 View Post
Yes, I believe it's end of day from what I understand.

Also, don't become "overly careful" trade your plan, and if it works that's great, if it doesn't it's no reflection of your self-worth. Simply adjust and keep improving...

Your own words and I am giving these words back to you! Glad to see you already put this episode behind you. All the best to you!

MsFutures

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  #329 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Just so we're official here, ha:



I don't have to go back very far to put today into overall performance perspective. Here's since I started trading ES... 12 days ago:



BUT.... as discussed, it wasn't the P/L that bothered me. It's the lack of focus on risk management which led to a disregard for proper risk controls. Simply letting myself down. Anyways, we've discussed what happened now. At this point I'm only intereted in focusing on what I can do from this point forward to improve myself and prevent letdowns like that from happening. I know we'll never be perfect, but surely I can get to a point where I honor a rule such as: never let an ES trade go more than 2 points against me. That could be like a disaster stop. Let's say I'm in a crap mindset (which will happen from time to time), and I have a total disregard for stop placement. I will have an auto stop in at 2pts that I am not allowed to move, for any reason, ever. Something like that, along with measures to keep myself in proper state of mind and focused on risk, should be helpful. Man, I've been trading for so long, it boggles me to write this stuff. It's not insightful; it's things I could have written down after reading my first trading book ever. Here I am years later, coming to the conclusions that I have to focus on the absolute basics. My first reaction is to feel embarrassed about that... like I'm a post-grad student which has to go learn his ABC's and multiplication tables. But, on second thought, isn't that what professional athletes do? They struggle, or get their mindset out of whack, and what do they talk about... getting back to basics. Maybe that initial reaction of mine ties in to me being prideful.

 
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  #330 (permalink)
 omni72 
Tulsa, OK
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: Jigsaw, Ninja Trader, Sierra Chart
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indextrader7 View Post
Man, I've been trading for so long, it boggles me to write this stuff. It's not insightful; it's things I could have written down after reading my first trading book ever. Here I am years later, coming to the conclusions that I have to focus on the absolute basics. My first reaction is to feel embarrassed about that... like I'm a post-grad student which has to go learn his ABC's and multiplication tables. But, on second thought, isn't that what professional athletes do? They struggle, or get their mindset out of whack, and what do they talk about... getting back to basics. Maybe that initial reaction of mine ties in to me being prideful.

This is one of the greatest challenges we face - transferring sterilized information obtained in a calm, conducive setting (like reading a book) to uncertain, volatile, and violent situations (like trading). It's two different worlds. There's a gap we're always trying to shrink. And, like you pointed out, that happens by getting up, getting back to basics, and doing it all again.

I think it's also to recognize something else you pointed out: if pro athletes still struggle and have to work hard once they are at the top of the pack, there's probably a pretty good chance I can expect to always have to work on my own game. It may be different areas or different whatevers as I progress, but the work never disappears.

And, to me, both of these ideas you shared are helpful and, I'm gonna argue with you - I think they are very insightful

So thanks for sharing them with your futures.io (formerly BMT) crew

Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. ~ Seneca
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  #331 (permalink)
 TonyParisi 
Jacksonville, FL
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: NinjaTrader
Trading: CL
 
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@TonyParisi Thank you. You're right bro, I certainly do overtrade at times. It's something I've been "aware" of for quite a while, but since I'm profitable I've been ignoring it. Certainly something for me to add to the to do list for the continual revamping process we call trading. I'm a huge fan of accountability, it's part of the reason I have journals on futures.io (formerly BMT). What steps did you take to add accountability that helped you the most?

Probably my most notable turning point was when I started trading 1 lots live. I don't mean sim did absolutely squat for me. But, eventually it became a crutch. Just stick to your plan with 1 lots, or I understand that some people use runners so 2 lots if need be.

If you are dead-set on the combine, why not start on like the $50k???? You only need like $350 a day to hit goal, with a $1k loss limit. With 2-3 lots this should not be a problem I know you can do that I have seen your screencasts! I have seen quite a few great traders on futures.io (formerly BMT) posting calls and being wicked good at timing entries, exits, and overall market structure (mfbreakout, Gabriyele, PrivateBanker, etc, etc, etc). This takes years and years of experience. I'm not even close to being in the same league, these dudes are Pro, and I'm still using the T-Ball stand. But you know what, you can still get by, and get by well using that T-Ball stand.

Make a plan, follow it, no excuses, no regrets, no discretion, no second guessing, FOLLOW IT. Remember it isn't a sprint, it's a journey. You simply experienced a 'pullback'. Keep up the trend dude.

Perhaps watch this 50 times:

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  #332 (permalink)
 kevinkdog   is a Vendor
 
 
Posts: 3,002 since Jul 2012
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Really sorry to hear of what happened today. I'm curious, why did that happen? Did you get caught up in the moment, and forget where you were loss wise before taking that last trade, or did you take that last trade knowing a loser could lead to Combine failure, or unanticipated slippage, or just something else?

Yesterday I wrote in my Combine journal that "daily loss limit" was one of the few combine requirements in my control, and therefore never should be exceeded. But maybe I missed some aspect of it.

There is a lesson here for all Combiners, that definitely goes beyond the trading strategy itself.


If you already did diagnose this, I must have missed it in the thread. Can you tell me the post #?

Thanks

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  #333 (permalink)
 Anagami 
Market Wizard
Cancun, Mexico
 
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indextrader7 View Post
I donít think Iíve ever truly succeeded at anything in my life.

I donít know if I will ever be able to not have blowout days in trading. This is my second one in 12 months. All it takes is ONE every 100 months to matter.

I know exactly where to exit trades for small losses. I cannot follow that rule 100% of the time.

I donít know if I am cut out for trading. I know that Iím not cut out for trading if I cannot fix the problem, and the problem is me.

I donít know how to fix the problem. There is a way to take the responsibility off myself and only keep enough margin in my personal account to where Iíll be hitting a margin call around the time of a daily loss limit. So thatís one thing I can do, but it doesnít satisfy the root of the problem.

Honestly Iím tired. My arms are up in the air. I almost just donít care.

This painful experience WILL NOT BE ENOUGH to change me. Iíve had plenty of them through the years, and I still go back to letting a trade get out of control from time to time.

I donít know how to fix me.

Thank you for your honesty and quality postings... I've enjoyed them for quite some time now.

If you want a real reset and a fresh start in your trading career... AND are willing to try anything, I suggest you book yourself for a free 10-day meditation course:
The Vipassana Center in Georgia - I think this one is closest to you
(Alternatively, you could find another center at Dhamma.org)

You don't know how to fix you. The 10-day meditation course will give you the tools.

I suggest this only if you are serious about deep personal change.

The rest is up to you, I wish you the best.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." - Milton
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  #334 (permalink)
 iqgod 
Market Wizard
Mumbai, India
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: ChartNexus
Trading: Stocks, Commodities, Futures
 
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Anagami View Post
Thank you for your honesty and quality postings... I've enjoyed them for quite some time now.

If you want a real reset and a fresh start in your trading career... AND are willing to try anything, I suggest you book yourself for a free 10-day meditation course:
The Vipassana Center in Georgia - I think this one is closest to you
(Alternatively, you could find another center at Dhamma.org)

You don't know how to fix you. The 10-day meditation course will give you the tools.

I suggest this only if you are serious about deep personal change.

The rest is up to you, I wish you the best.


@Anagami is right.

Mindfulness has been the KEY - The Holy Grail - that has kept me afloat in the combine waters.

You can also refer to my experiences at

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  #335 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012


kevinkdog View Post
Really sorry to hear of what happened today. I'm curious, why did that happen? Did you get caught up in the moment, and forget where you were loss wise before taking that last trade, or did you take that last trade knowing a loser could lead to Combine failure, or unanticipated slippage, or just something else?

Yesterday I wrote in my Combine journal that "daily loss limit" was one of the few combine requirements in my control, and therefore never should be exceeded. But maybe I missed some aspect of it.

There is a lesson here for all Combiners, that definitely goes beyond the trading strategy itself.


If you already did diagnose this, I must have missed it in the thread. Can you tell me the post #?

Thanks

I knew exactly where I was p/l wise the whole time. You're right, it was in my control, and should not have been exceeded. It was definitely one of those things where I hesitate on the normal loss, and as mentioned, keep finding levels lower and lower that I think could possibly support price. Eventually it's a very large loss, and I get the feeling, "Well, I've already really screwed this up this bad, might as well let it play out to the bottom of the channel i've been trading off of for weeks. The channel broke and my final stop was underneath it.

It was the classic, move the stop... price nears... move the stop again... big loss.

 
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  #336 (permalink)
 futuretrader 
Como Italy
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: Ninjatrader, customized
Trading: ES
 
Posts: 526 since Feb 2010
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Anagami View Post
Thank you for your honesty and quality postings... I've enjoyed them for quite some time now.

If you want a real reset and a fresh start in your trading career... AND are willing to try anything, I suggest you book yourself for a free 10-day meditation course:
The Vipassana Center in Georgia - I think this one is closest to you
(Alternatively, you could find another center at Dhamma.org)

You don't know how to fix you. The 10-day meditation course will give you the tools.

I suggest this only if you are serious about deep personal change.

The rest is up to you, I wish you the best.

I would also recommend trying meditation. It may be too much to think of going for one of these 10 day retreats, but there are usually shorter retreats happening all over. And if not that, just start doing it for short periods at home, and build up. The basic instructions for vipassana are simple and take about a paragraph, the rest is just doing it.

It's especially good for helping you interrupt your habitual responses - there's a near perfect negative correlation between my own repetitive stupid mistakes and my persistence in meditating for short sessions throughout the day.

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  #337 (permalink)
 pilotui 
Oklahoma City OK/USA
 
Experience: Intermediate
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Exactly, easily one of the best pen to paper quotes I've ever read in my life. You summed up exactly how I felt when I blew all my profits. Bravo.

IT7...take a day, and then get back at it.





FuturesTrader71 View Post
I have a simple question: Are you or are you not committed to being a consistent trader?

In other words, given that we can't change the past and we live in the now-moment, what do you want to do? Would you like to complain, be a victim (maybe) or would you like to take actionable steps to potentially improve the situation for yourself?

Let me know and we can move forward.

Days like today are TEACHERS. They stress-test our risk plan, emotions and attitudes. How are you handling today's test?


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  #338 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Spent the first part of the day going through an "exercise" in what happens when you don't take your small loss with a fellow trader and new friend.

Started trading after 11AM. Two trades for the day.

First trade was a simple pullback looking for a final push into the 47.25 area. Got filled there, and the rest stopped out near BE.

Second trade was a reversal to long after the remainder of the short was scratched. This trade made a lot of sense to take, as I was seeing a range developing on my higher timeframe. Target was 55, but it stopped 2 ticks shy of there and I got stopped on a pullback before it eventually got there. Still a good trade and well managed.

main trading timeframe


higher timeframe


Hard to really trade off this info, but I think it's pretty significant that we're unable to sustain anything above 1556. Kind of a hint hint like the last time I said "hint" on 3-27-13:


indextrader7 View Post

I figured we would push down to the lower end of the channel that I posted about pre-session today (which interestingly, and bullishly, we failed to do ((hint for tomorrow)).

3-28 (the next day) ended up being a pretty strong up day, we'll see, it's all random anyways (whether this bearish view plays out), but it's just what I see currently.

 
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  #339 (permalink)
 Big Mike 
Site Administrator
Swing Trader
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indextrader7 View Post
it's all random anyways

eh?

Mike

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  #340 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012


Big Mike View Post
eh?

Mike

Whether that hypothesis plays out or the exact opposite happens = random. That's my current bias though.

 
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  #341 (permalink)
 Big Mike 
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indextrader7 View Post
Whether that hypothesis plays out or the exact opposite happens = random. That's my current bias though.

OK, I thought you meant markets are random.

Mike

We're here to help -- just ask

For the best trading education, watch our webinars
Searching for trading reviews? Review this list

Follow us on Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook

Support our community as an Elite Member:
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  #342 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012


Big Mike View Post
OK, I thought you meant markets are random.

Mike

Heck no!

 
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  #343 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012


 
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  #344 (permalink)
 FuturesTrader71 
 
 
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indextrader7 View Post

@FuturesTrader71 Thank you. I am totally committed to being a consistent trader. Thank you for making it (embarrassingly) clear that I was actually just being a baby this morning! (not sarcastic i mean it) I certainly want to take actionable steps to improve. Yes, interesting way of looking at it, my risk plan (lack thereof) was totally pointed out as flawed today by this type of market move, good point. I hope to hear more from you.

In my opinion, you may want to focus less on the technical stuff and more on your relationship with losing. I think you might need less of a "technical manual" and more of "how to perform like a competitive athlete" kind of approach. Part of this is simply accepting the fact, in my experience, that your performance depends heavily on taking losses when they occur.

For S5 Trading clients, for example, I have taken live trade data for clients and gone through it to show what their results would have looked like had they NOT violated their risk plan or stop placement. The numbers change dramatically. Situations like you had yesterday create damage on many levels. The worst of it is what you said "that you haven't been successful at anything your whole life" (paraphrasing). That is serious emotional damage. It is one of the biggest factors in how differently high performers operate versus the rest. Even when times are tough, a high perform sticks to his plan and cuts his losses. Very hard to do that in trading because the results are easily quantifiable and are in real time.

If you looked at every trade from yesterday, you will find some very critical flaws in your execution, in my opinion. One of these may be the fact that you don't have a way to stop yourself from fading a trend on a trend day (I use the "3 stabs and your done" rule in my risk plan).

Your exercise in NOT taking losses today seems odd to me. I don't know the details, but this may be another way to reinforce the issue that is causing the losses. Not sure. More to come as we interact and I get feedback.....

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  #345 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012


FuturesTrader71 View Post
Your exercise in NOT taking losses today seems odd to me. I don't know the details, but this may be another way to reinforce the issue that is causing the losses. Not sure. More to come as we interact and I get feedback.....

This was a simple exercise showing how not taking your regular, small loss, and "hoping" for a turnaround can prove deadly. Trying to reinforce THAT view.

I think I phrased it poorly in the orig. post.

 
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  #346 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Thank you for taking the time to offer a bit of advice. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.


FuturesTrader71 View Post
In my opinion, you may want to focus less on the technical stuff and more on your relationship with losing. I think you might need less of a "technical manual" and more of "how to perform like a competitive athlete" kind of approach. Part of this is simply accepting the fact, in my experience, that your performance depends heavily on taking losses when they occur.

You're totally right. This will be my focus going forward. I saw on your website that you have a book that's required reading... "The Inner Athlete" ... I'll be purchasing that today. I imagine you would say that's a good first step...


FuturesTrader71 View Post
For S5 Trading clients, for example, I have taken live trade data for clients and gone through it to show what their results would have looked like had they NOT violated their risk plan or stop placement. The numbers change dramatically. Situations like you had yesterday create damage on many levels. The worst of it is what you said "that you haven't been successful at anything your whole life" (paraphrasing). That is serious emotional damage. It is one of the biggest factors in how differently high performers operate versus the rest. Even when times are tough, a high perform sticks to his plan and cuts his losses. Very hard to do that in trading because the results are easily quantifiable and are in real time.

As I read this, it's a bit painful to be labeled/consider myself as NOT a high performer. It's also tremendous fuel to become one.


FuturesTrader71 View Post
If you looked at every trade from yesterday, you will find some very critical flaws in your execution, in my opinion. One of these may be the fact that you don't have a way to stop yourself from fading a trend on a trend day (I use the "3 stabs and your done" rule in my risk plan).

Spot on again. In fact, the entries were more of "whim" trades than any actual setup I trade. I'm a bit different from your trading in the fact that I *typically* tend to go with the short term trend/flow, versus look for areas they may reverse (as far as I understand your trading) unless I define the structure as a range, like I did today, but even then as you can see from the trades, I wait for a bit of price action to confirm the shift in supply/demand.

So I say this to say... Once price showed real strength down out of the opening swing yesterday, my trading plan calls for trades in the short direction with the strength. The longs I took were absurd.

 
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  #347 (permalink)
 Anagami 
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futuretrader View Post
I would also recommend trying meditation. It may be too much to think of going for one of these 10 day retreats, but there are usually shorter retreats happening all over. And if not that, just start doing it for short periods at home, and build up. The basic instructions for vipassana are simple and take about a paragraph, the rest is just doing it.

It's especially good for helping you interrupt your habitual responses - there's a near perfect negative correlation between my own repetitive stupid mistakes and my persistence in meditating for short sessions throughout the day.

Doing it on your own just isn't the same as going on a 10-day retreat where you have a regimented day, strict schedule, and someone making sure you stick to it.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." - Milton
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  #348 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Yesterday:

indextrader7 View Post
Hard to really trade off this info, but I think it's pretty significant that we're unable to sustain anything above 1556. Kind of a hint hint like the last time I said "hint" on 3-27-13: 3-28 (the next day) ended up being a pretty strong up day, we'll see, it's all random anyways (whether this bearish view plays out), but it's just what I see currently.

So this hint also played out with a 23 handle decline from that 1556 level as pointed out yesterday.

Here's what I see now:

This is a simple pullback to the lower end of the channel we've been in. (Insightful I know, ha)


 
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  #349 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Check out how these composite HVN's played out with today's PA...

Interesting. Too bad I didn't give them more weight today! I'm new to the whole VP concepts though, really just monitoring it at this point to see if something really resonates with me.


 
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  #350 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

I continually have to force myself to spend more time on psychological/attitude/beliefs development. My natural way is to get involved in a spreadsheet, test out trade ideas, and analyze every entry/exit I've ever made.

It's hard, but I'm becoming aware of how much time I spend every day on that stuff, and how little time I spend on where I really need to be working (on my mind). I even noticed in my paper journal today that journal entries typically looked something like, "9:19AM - Long based on 5000vol range developing, price not able to breach OS low. Scaled. Added. Out" and then it's on to the next trade where a similar writeup is.

My plan is to start including OTHER MORE IMPORTANT things alongside that type of trade rationale. For starters, I'm going to begin including my risk plan/where I'm wrong and why. Honestly, as complicated as we'd like to make it, and as deeply psychologically screwed up as I may seem (ha), it may really come down to not having a concrete plan for exiting a trade when I'm wrong. This lack of a pre-planned stop type trading and the bad-judgement-on-the-fly-plan-making while in a trade kind of stuff has to stop. It may be THE biggest root cause of the risk problems that arise from time to time in my trading. Again, as mentioned yesterday, this is getting back to the basics/fundamentals of solid trading.

One other thing I want to start including in each trade log post in my paper journal is one statement. Not the same statement over and over again, but any statement that I feel like writing at the time. The statement/affirmation I'll be writing will have something to do with focusing on big picture goals and dreams, or optimism about my ability to execute a risk mgmt plan, or focusing on the value of my goals and deflating the value of bad habbits and their consequences, or thinking about the feeling that will come with success - the pride, satisfaction, and peace, or one of my core beliefs, or why I'm following a risk management plan rather than just how I'm doing it. All higher level things that will help not get bogged down in any moment, and keep me clear on my overall, bigger picture, mission at hand.

 
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  #351 (permalink)
 futuretrader 
Como Italy
 
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Anagami View Post
Doing it on your own just isn't the same as going on a 10-day retreat where you have a regimented day, strict schedule, and someone making sure you stick to it.

Absolutely true, and I would much rather be on a meditation retreat than trading just about any day of the week. But in my experience not many people are going to start out with a commitment to a 10 day retreat. Once they discover the benefits of even very modest meditation, they may develop an interest in retreats.

And in my case it's not physically possible to sit through a rigid retreat - I just went through having to cancel one up at Borden - so I do it on my own, or if possible at more accommodating centers.

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  #352 (permalink)
 Jyrgen 
Tallinn, Estonia
 
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First of all kudos for all the honesty and work you put into this journal! Its a great learning experience for you and everybody following it.

Just a food for thought. I am in no position to give any advice, but if this post gives a spark for some thoughts then it has served its purpose. While reading your journal I got the feeling that you really, really, really love stats (eg. the time you didn't execute a good trade cause you didn't want to mess up the streak of 0 MAE trades). You love plotting your results in excel graphs and playing around with that data. But I think concentrating on stats while trading can be a problem. The problem with this kind of thought process is that it takes your attention away from the particular trade you are executing right now. You have seen your pnl curve in the past and you know you will recover easily from whatever bad trade you might do. Concentrating on the pnl curve while trading gives a feeling that you are watching how the curve plays itself out (feeling of being on a passenger seat) and you know you have an edge so you stop caring about any particular trade as you know the curve is going to eventually move up no matter what. If you don't care about any particular trade, you are more prone to double down and take risks you otherwise would never think of (I think not caring about a certain trade at hand is only good in terms of not caring if particular trade is a win or loss, but traders often mix that thought up and think that any particular trade is just plain out not important).

I think that it is essential to forget about your equity curve and all the stats while trading. Let go of the past and future. The only mission should be to make one good trade and then make one good trade and then make one good trade and then... etc. The past and future doesn't matter, you just want the trade at hand to be the best it can be (strictly follow stop and target rules you have set). This idea keeps you in "here and now" and by definition it is impossible for you to have a huge drawdown or blowout you never saw coming (eg. the first day of combine). If you only execute one good trade after another, your pnl curve will take care of itself.

I don't know if that is the case for you at all, but I have certainly missed out on good trades in the past just because I am afraid to mess up my perfect trading day or keeping on to losers for the same reason. I have put some thought to it and thought it might be helpful.

Keep on grinding and making good trades
Jyrgen

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  #353 (permalink)
 Hapster 
San Diego, California
 
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I think Jyrgen hit it on the head. Enjoying reading this thread!!

If I can make an analogy to my profession: court reporting. I have colleagues that are completely OBSESSED with their translation rate on the Stenograph machine we use for our business. We have complex computer-aided translation software that helps us to create our transcripts as we write on it. That software records not only the speed that the speakers are talking, but the error rate in our translation on a percentage basis. Great Stenograph "writers" (me LOL; I've logged WELL over 10,000 hours so I'm a "master" at it at this point) on a good day (i.e., a decent speaker and no attorneys arguing at 300+ words a minute) will have a translation rate of around <= .30 % or so. With a difficult speaker (an Iranian proctologist, for example) and/or lots of arguments among the parties, that rate can rise in excess of => 1.00+ % untran rate.

Some of my colleagues completely obsess over this number and strive completely to keep that number as low as possible, often to their detriment, because in their effort to be PERFECT at their translation rate, the testimony completely gets away from them and then that higher untran rate is just a fait accompli as they try to "dig themselves out of that hole" -- instead of just "staying on top of the speaker" and catching up, which is when that untran rate starts to come down into the approprate range.

Sorry for rambling on this, but reading Jyrgen's post, it just hit a nerve with me and I completely can relate and analogize it to "overthinking" while trading instead of either the trade works, maximize the profit; or it's wrong, and just GET OUT and wait for the next one.

Hap

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  #354 (permalink)
 rubyslippage 
Phoenix, AZ
 
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indextrader7 View Post
I donít think Iíve ever truly succeeded at anything in my life.

I donít know if I will ever be able to not have blowout days in trading. This is my second one in 12 months. All it takes is ONE every 100 months to matter.

I know exactly where to exit trades for small losses. I cannot follow that rule 100% of the time.

I donít know if I am cut out for trading. I know that Iím not cut out for trading if I cannot fix the problem, and the problem is me.

I donít know how to fix the problem. There is a way to take the responsibility off myself and only keep enough margin in my personal account to where Iíll be hitting a margin call around the time of a daily loss limit. So thatís one thing I can do, but it doesnít satisfy the root of the problem.

Honestly Iím tired. My arms are up in the air. I almost just donít care.

This painful experience WILL NOT BE ENOUGH to change me. Iíve had plenty of them through the years, and I still go back to letting a trade get out of control from time to time.

I donít know how to fix me.

I believe that consistently profitable price action scalping is one of the most difficult things to master. Not only do you have to develop a business plan and develop a traderís mindset (both required for long term profitability using any strategy, and both requiring an amount of difficult work the likes of which most people have never encountered), you have to learn to maintain focus, recognize key price action footprints developing, evaluate them in relation to the overall market context, make a variety of calculations quickly, then act without hesitation, several times each day, every day, day after day after day.

Someone once said, ďBeing disciplined in the past isnít good enough: on each and every trade you must be disciplined. Forever. Like a drunk in a program you can NEVER slip off the wagon.Ē

Like you, I learned this the very hard way, which was by repeating the same mistakes after periods of apparent mastery and hitting a black hole bottom of self-doubt.

Just as many ďhopelessĒ alcoholics discovered true power for the first time in their lives by admitting powerlessness and turning their lives over to a power greater than themselves (the standard entry into a 12-step program of recovery), gamblers can do the same.

If you trade without a business plan youíre a gambler. If you have a business plan for profitable trading but find yourself unable to execute it, youíre a gambler. Even if you can execute it for a period of time, then ďfall off the wagonĒ, youíre still a gambler, just as someone who goes for days, weeks or even months without a drink, then binges and ends up in trouble, is an alcoholic.

From your various blog posts it appears you have trading strategies that have positive expectancy. If your positive expectancy trading strategies are part of a business plan for profitable trading, then consider the mastery of your business plan to be the equivalent of "sobriety" and consider a 12-step program to be your key to developing the trader's mindset (your spiritual awakening, so to speak). Look up the 12 steps anywhere on line. Your first step will be to admit you are powerless over gambling, which is any trading-related act that runs counter to your business plan, thereby erasing the edge that elevates trading from simple gambling to professional speculation.

Based on my own experience following my "bottom", I recommend you choose a single instrument, a single strategy (one setup) and a trading account with only enough capital in it to trade very small size, then trade your plan for that strategy, focusing only on excellent execution.

Take time to set specific rules for everything you can think of that shouldnít be decided in the heat of battle, things like managing stops and targets; getting stopped out for a loss at what appears to be the high or low tick at that moment in time (my personal plan states that when that happens the trade is over, period, until the next setup develops); whether to trade setups that appear within N minutes of a major news release; price coming to or close to your order price and not getting a fill (my personal plan doesnít allow chasing an entry more than a tick or two); getting really bad slippage on a stop-initiated entry (my personal plan allows me to shout WTF! as long as no young children are in the vicinity); what to do if you make a mistake (click buy instead of sell) or break a rule (widen a stop loss, chase an entry, choke off a good trade by moving a stop loss to break even, etc).

Finally, instead of placing additional pressure on yourself with a public account of your trading, open up private communication with someone whoíd be willing to review each of your trading days and work through issues youíre having. Set up a grading system and with the help of this person, honestly evaluate your performance against the performance your plan would have produced.

Once you master a single setup to the point youíre able to follow your plan quite consistently despite the crazy thoughts and feelings that will regularly attempt to get in the way ("...that setup is too risky this time...Ē or "itís OK to trade my bias, this time it's different..." and so on), then you can begin to size up, to add another setup, or both.

None of this is easy, but the rewards of mastery are sufficient to make the hard work worthwhile if done right, without the personal ego in control.

 
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  #355 (permalink)
 josh 
Georgia, US
 
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Jyrgen View Post
Concentrating on the pnl curve while trading gives a feeling that you are watching how the curve plays itself out (feeling of being on a passenger seat) and you know you have an edge so you stop caring about any particular trade as you know the curve is going to eventually move up no matter what. If you don't care about any particular trade, you are more prone to double down and take risks you otherwise would never think of (I think not caring about a certain trade at hand is only good in terms of not caring if particular trade is a win or loss, but traders often mix that thought up and think that any particular trade is just plain out not important).

I think that it is essential to forget about your equity curve and all the stats while trading. Let go of the past and future.

I think this is an incredibly insightful perspective, and I want to thank you for posting it.

Your post confirms basically what I see in myself--that when I compile stats, often I get lost in them, and am more concerned with "performance" in general instead of performance during the day and for any particular trade. That nice up-sloping equity curve is too pretty to mess up with a loss, isn't it? So, I will do stupid things in order to preserve that nice shape.

Thanks again, you have confirmed what I have known about myself deep down but hated to admit it to myself...!


Hapster View Post
I completely can relate and analogize it to "overthinking" while trading instead of either the trade works, maximize the profit; or it's wrong, and just GET OUT and wait for the next one.

Also really enjoyed reading this post, very interesting similarities!

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  #356 (permalink)
 josh 
Georgia, US
 
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rubyslippage View Post
gambling, which is any trading-related act that runs counter to your business plan, thereby erasing the edge that elevates trading from simple gambling to professional speculation.

Also simple, but very insightful--thanks for putting it this way...


rubyslippage View Post
Once you master a single setup to the point you’re able to follow your plan quite consistently despite the crazy thoughts and feelings that will regularly attempt to get in the way ("...that setup is too risky this time...” or "it’s OK to trade my bias, this time it's different..." and so on), then you can begin to size up, to add another setup, or both.

Perhaps a "single setup" is not required or the best idea for everyone (but certainly it may be for some). What's important here is not really the approach, but that guidelines are in place and are followed. For some, instead of a single setup, it may be simply to plan trade ideas for the open sufficiently ahead of time. And, once the trade idea is identified (which would likely include an actual price to buy/sell), go ahead and attach stops to define risk upfront, and then stick to those stops. If the market gets somewhat close to the price to buy/sell but the trader does not think it's going to make it but still finds the premise sound, then make the decision to accept a wider stop, or to pass on the idea. But the decision must be made ahead of time and honored, as jumping in and out, or making the decision to widen/move stops while in the trade, will almost certainly result in larger losses (I did some of this early Friday to my detriment, for example).

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  #357 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Good morning traders.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Process goals today:

-Include plan for risk mgmt in every trade journal entry.
-Include big picture/goals/grattitude statement in every trade journal entry.
-Have good trade location today, not trades everywhere.
-Entries require some form of dt/db on my main trading tf to pull the trigger.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

-Technical information I'm considering pre-mkt:

Overnight session found value above Friday's value area on the TPO's.

Looks like we're going to open around Friday's highs.

We've broken down out of the longer term price channel.

Friday's POC and VPOC are 1542.25 and 1542.

4/4 Has a nice gaussian TPO with POC at 1552.25.

1546.50 Seems to be a pivotal level.

 
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  #358 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

^^^^^^

 
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  #359 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Pretty good day today. Could have been better, but I'm happy with most of the decisions I made today.

Most importantly, I'm happy with risk management. I'm pleased that I had a specific plan for managing each trade (on the downside at least). I'm happy with how I kept my larger goals in mind and was keenly aware of how risk management plays a vital part in that success all throughout the day.

I'm pleased with my bead on where the market was trying to go today. I'm happy with my flexibility such as the decision to re-enter the last trade because I knew it was time to press based on what orderflow was doing. I was weary that I would be a part of a lunch time stop hunt, but I didn't move my stop (per my strict risk mgmt). I got stopped, saw what I was looking for on the footprint, and re-entered. This is a much easier way of life than moving stops around and just hoping for things to go your way.



I'll admit I am not very good at picking ideal trade locations, as far as the larger term picture. I realize that I'm quite good at seeing flow and trends so I can pick spots that way... but I think a big improvement in my trading will come from getting better trade location. I've added some new tools to help my try and do that with TPO and VP stuff.

My emphasis, though, will remain on my mental state above all else. A focus on what I'm trying to accomplish outside of any individual trade, and knowing that my job is to manage risk above everything else.

 
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  #360 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

This thread is amazing to me. There has been such quality in it over the past week. Just another big thank you to all those who have taken the time to offer a helping hand or word of encouragement.

 
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  #361 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012



This is what I trade with every day.

 
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  #362 (permalink)
 Anagami 
Market Wizard
Cancun, Mexico
 
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indextrader7 View Post


This is what I trade with every day.

Does that represent your unresolved emotions or your better half?

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven." - Milton
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  #363 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Today, and probably for quite some time, I'll continue forcing/reminding myself to come up with a risk plan for each trade, actually write it down each trade, and stick to it each trade. There's nothing more important I could focus on. I'll also continue writing the big picture/goal statements mentioned before with each trade journal entry too.

Today's market is opening up in the single prints from the previous session (or a bit above them as I type this), with all the overnight session spent balancing there. This is pretty much the same as yesterday, although we're farther up above yesterday's value area high relative to how we opened yesterday.

The simplest trade would be some type of sell off at the open, down to some level such as the ledge/yday's close/S/R area at 1558.50 before continuing a strong rally. Levels below include 1555-56 and 1552.25.

1566.25 key target area above. Past that you have the highs and the all time high (which I really don't know where that is for the futures).


 
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  #364 (permalink)
 josh 
Georgia, US
 
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indextrader7 View Post
Past that you have the highs and the all time high (which I really don't know where that is for the futures).

It's 1576 cash, so ballpark 1570 or so for the ES equivalent.

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  #365 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Taking a look at the pre-mkt post today:


indextrader7 View Post
The simplest trade would be some type of sell off at the open, down to some level such as the ledge/yday's close/S/R area at 1558.50 before continuing a strong rally. Levels below include 1555-56 and 1552.25.

1566.25 key target area above. Past that you have the highs and the all time high (which I really don't know where that is for the futures).


Almost scary good on the pre-mkt analysis. Sold off at the open, down to the 55-56 level, then rallied to my key target at 66.25.

Rest assured, I was able to get a near 10-handle profit for the big move up... but also rest assure I was able to botch it up the first half of the day before getting the nice move! haha Nearly to the point of hitting my personal DLL.

Here's the trades: Loser, loser, loser, scratch, loser, winner. Ended up being a nice winning day oddly enough!




Risk was managed effectively, and I really hung there for the big winner while it was quite difficult not to exit sooner. (Gotta quit watching P/L.... "Oh if I exit here I will have recouped my losses and be BE for the day" .... Definitely had those kind of thoughts, but I stayed strong).

Today was nearly identical to yesterday, which I thought was interesting. Even my last two trades of yesterday and today were about the same! Both were: looking for long trade.. stopped out... re-enter for the big winner.

 
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  #366 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

I got "The Inner Athlete" delivered today. I'm just scratching the surface, but already it's a fantastic read. Highly recommend it already. I bought my copy for 27 cents I think.

The Inner Athlete: Realizing Your Fullest Potential: Dan Millman: 9780913299975: Amazon.com: Books

 
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  #367 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

"In the quest for excellence, it's so easy to suffer from tunnel vision in wihch the scores, statistics, and victories become the goal of training - but - what if we focus too much on striving, we may forget what we're ultimately striving for - to feel good about ourselves, to experience happiness, to reach our highest human potential." -Dan Millman from The Inner Athlete


Good morning traders!

Last night we rotated within yesterday's value area, which kept us above our daily bracket area high around 58.50.

At this point (30 min before open) we look to open near yday's highs, which we have done the previous two opens too.

Two distinct HVN's from yesterday: 66.50 and VPOC at 58.50.

I don't have a strong bead on an expectation for today like I did yesterday. Basically if we remain under 68 just expect a rotational day, and if we accept prices above 68, expect yet another strong rally.

I'll just go with the flow and watch my levels.

 
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  #368 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Just completed first trade of the day. Finally starting out a day on the right foot, typically I have to lose for several trades to get with the flow.

We opened and accepted above 68 as mentioned in pre market post.... So the most logical place for me to work an entry was where the prev high and ON high lined up.


 
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  #369 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Normally I think I would gripe about having exited my (only) trade today where I did, given the current hindsight of how far this thing is running, also given the context of where we are... it's pretty much expected.

Here's where I am though...

I took like 5 1/2 points on that trade (on the runner portion). That's great. Especially with only a tick or two of heat.

The problem is that the exit was solely based on P/L and/or fear or giving back profits. Something I want to add to my trading is allowing the runner to run until the market shows me that I don't want to be in that trade anymore.

BUT.......

My focus is on risk management and finding better trade locations, NOT holding winners. I absolutely nailed those things today that I'm focused on.

I can only develop so far so fast.

One season follows another without haste in the proper sequence. A tree grows from seedling as an adult grows from an infant. Progressive development doesn't work backwards, nor can the process be rushed; it's all clocked into the natural order of things. Only the human being is in a hurry.

I am content with my work ethic and focus, I am content with my development as a trader.

 
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  #370 (permalink)
 Brewer20 
Denver, CO
 
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indextrader7 View Post
Normally I think I would gripe about having exited my (only) trade today where I did, given the current hindsight of how far this thing is running, also given the context of where we are... it's pretty much expected.

Here's where I am though...

I took like 5 1/2 points on that trade (on the runner portion). That's great. Especially with only a tick or two of heat.

My focus is on risk management and finding better trade locations. I absolutely nailed those things today.

I can only develop so far so fast.

One season follows another without haste in the proper sequence. A tree grows from seedling as an adult grows from an infant. Progressive development doesn't work backwards, nor can the process be rushed; it's all clocked into the natural order of things. Only the human being is in a hurry.

I am content with my work ethic and focus, I am content with my development as a trader.

Good job today. If you exited where your plan told you to exit, then you should pat yourself on the back. The market can always run beyond our targets. However we shouldn't concern ourselves with that.

Only question yourself if you exited early.

Plan your trade, trade your plan.
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  #371 (permalink)
 FuturesTrader71 
 
 
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Doing it on your own just isn't the same as going on a 10-day retreat where you have a regimented day, strict schedule, and someone making sure you stick to it.

Totally agree. This is how I started. Meditation has been a life-changer.

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  #372 (permalink)
 iqgod 
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Totally agree. This is how I started. Meditation has been a life-changer.

Hi Morad (@FuturesTrader71),

Are you a Vipassana meditator too?

Regards,
Ketan

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  #373 (permalink)
 FuturesTrader71 
 
 
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iqgod View Post
Hi Morad (@FuturesTrader71),

Are you a Vipassana meditator too?

Regards,
Ketan

Transcendental Meditation (TM) but I would recommend others.

Risk Disclaimer: Trading Futures is not suitable for all investors. Past Performance is not indicative of future results.

If you have any questions about the products or services provided, please send me a Private Message or use the futures.io "Ask Me Anything" thread
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  #374 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

The first natural law is nonresistance. Go with the flow. No thought of resistance - see opponent/market as a teacher who challenges us to bring out our best.

Stress happens when the mind resists what is.

Don't "try".

"When an archer shoots for enjoyment, he has all his skill; when he shoots for a brass buckle, he gets nervous; when he shoots for a prize of gold, he begins to see two targets." - Chuang Tzu

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The overnight session predominately traded within yesterday's value and it looks like we will open there as well.

84.25 has been rejected over and over again. Europe tried to breach it, but could not accept prices up there. Could be key area for short today if we get an opening drive up there...



But.... just like yesterday, if we trade, and accept above that level, we could keep up with this new age irrational exuberance.

My expectation is for a balancing day. A) It feels (to me) like the market needs a rest. B) 84.25 is not accepting prices above it.

Nonresistance.

 
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  #375 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

First losing day this week. I managed risk, so that is priority number one. Definitely some sub-par trade locations today. Gotta remain more selective.

First two trades were near-fantastic trades. I attempted to get long on the opening drive lower as we traded into the prev POC. Unfortunately I had some really tight stops and was taken out at the LOD.

After a scalp attempt short, I went long as price was being accepted above the prev VAH and yesterday's high. Just like yesterday, I didn't allow my runner to go until the market showed me I no longer wanted to be in the trade.

Trade 5 was really what I call a "blind pullback entry"... I typically am not happy with them after the fact, and this one was no different. I just got caught long and price was not showing any signs of turning around at that point. (I had hoped the 2nd IB Extension there would contain price). Hung in a little longer than looks good in hindsight, but still within my allowable risk tolerances for any one trade.

Trade 6 was a long off an area with confluence of a dLVN, IB high, RTH VWAP, and a previous swing high level. I also did not allow this trade to run to it's target because it stalled for 5 candles.

Trade 7 was a long off the top of the RTH dVAH. Given the large, steep, pullback, this was probably not ideal as we're getting overextended at this point. I was looking for a full trend continuation to new highs.

Trades 8 and 9 were attempts to get short on the breakdown of the previous swing low and IB high. Again, I typically lose when I attempt breakout trades, and these were no different than the norm.

10 was a reversal to long since IB held.




I'm ok with a losing day. It's just a part of trading. If I were to improve anything it would be quicker exits from trades 5 and 7.

 
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  #376 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Accommodation

With improper demand comes improper development. Stretch your comfort zone, but don't ignore it.

Development entails a constant stream of "little failures" along the way.

Tolerance for failure comes from an intuitive grasp of the natural process of learning.

Progress is mechanical. If you practice something over time with attention and commitment to improve - you will. Many times I have wanted much more immediate answers to my problems/conflicts.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok, a different type of structure for today's open than I've seen since I started keeping up with such.

Overnight we've traded mostly BELOW yesterday's RTH value area. With the ON low even lower than yesterday's low.

Not sure what to expect, but that's ok, my trading doesn't rely on fulfilled expectations (in many ways, ha)

At the open I'll see if yesterday's low at 1581 provides any support, may be a good long location if we're going to overlap yesterday's range.

Another key level will be the POC and VPOC area around 1588.

Will also be watching how we react to yesterday's value area on the TPO's.

Sorry don't have anything more than that, but this is a learning process for me too.

 
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  #377 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Stopped out for the day today. 0 for 3 on the trades. Typically wouldn't have been a daily stop, but for some reason I traded 2x positions on trades 2 and 3.

Initial longs were looking for a bounce off yesterday's low.

Trade 3 was shorts looking for the down move to continue.

Neither happened.



All stops were technically well placed and honored. We'll get em next week.

 
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  #378 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

First off, prayers go out to those families suffering from what's going on in Boston.

Other than that...

I had fun trading today.

There were some good trades, there were some bad trades.

On the bad trades. It seems I got in to some old habits. Enter, stop out, re-enter, stop out, re-enter, stop out.... kind of trading. Very poor self control in those areas. Sigh. I can do better though, and I will do better.

Other than those two patches of losers, I had some pretty nice trades. I didn't really maximize the profits often, but the entries were decent.

Overall, I am working on increasing my ability to trust in a game plan for the day, and execute that game plan. I wanted to be short coming in to today, as you can tell from my initial shorts at the previous low area. I'm going through a style transition, so errors are likely to come up. What is the style transition? I'm moving away from being so caught up in the bar by bar, swing by swing, price action. I'm moving more towards seeing areas that I want to do business and executing that plan. When I first heard people like FT71 say this, it did not resonate with me at all. Lately, it's making more and more sense to me as I'm starting to zoom out and see the bigger picture.

The future, better trader me, would be short initially from the previous low as planned. Take my scale outs. Add at the area again, take scale outs from the add. Add at the level again, take scale outs. Then, allow the core position to run and run and run until the market SHOWS ME that I do not want to be in that position any more.

I'm working hard. I'm enjoying my work.


 
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  #379 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

I was going to keep this a secret, to simply take any outside "pressure" off the table, but I really do feel like I owe it to the people here to keep a journal like I said I would.

After I messed up that combine on Wednesday, April 3rd... I started a new one fresh on the following Monday, the 8th.

Here is the results so far. Friday was a big burn and definitely set me back, but I stopped trading before hitting the DLL, which is an improvement from my first combine!

My goal at this point is really just to trade well and manage risk. The emphasis is no longer on winning it. Screwing up that first one really brought me a big dose of humility. I'm seeing more and more how I'm not near as good of a trader as I thought I was. This isn't a negative self concept... it's actually the opposite... I had an over-inflated self concept which is just as detrimental as a low self concept. This is a healthy reality check, and I'm in a good place going forward.

I've come to realize that the weight of everyone I know, and the weight of everyone on futures.io (formerly BMT) is really not on my shoulders to perform... as I once imagined it to be.


 
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  #380 (permalink)
 AttitudeTrader 
Dallas, TX, USA
 
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indextrader7 View Post
...I'm seeing more and more how I'm not near as good of a trader as I thought I was. This isn't a negative self concept... it's actually the opposite... I had an over-inflated self concept which is just as detrimental as a low self concept. This is a healthy reality check, and I'm in a good place going forward....

This is what I've referred to in my thread (over and over and over again!) as "knowing my place." Knowing where you really are is a powerful thing and gives you a solid place to build from.

Nice work!

-AT

"Is it hard? Not if you have the right attitude. It's having the right attitude that's hard." - Robert Pirsig
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  #381 (permalink)
 kevinkdog   is a Vendor
 
 
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indextrader7 View Post
I was going to keep this a secret, to simply take any outside "pressure" off the table, but I really do feel like I owe it to the people here to keep a journal like I said I would.

After I messed up that combine on Wednesday, April 3rd... I started a new one fresh on the following Monday, the 8th.

Here is the results so far. Friday was a big burn and definitely set me back, but I stopped trading before hitting the DLL, which is an improvement from my first combine!

My goal at this point is really just to trade well and manage risk. The emphasis is no longer on winning it. Screwing up that first one really brought me a big dose of humility. I'm seeing more and more how I'm not near as good of a trader as I thought I was. This isn't a negative self concept... it's actually the opposite... I had an over-inflated self concept which is just as detrimental as a low self concept. This is a healthy reality check, and I'm in a good place going forward.

I've come to realize that the weight of everyone I know, and the weight of everyone on futures.io (formerly BMT) is really not on my shoulders to perform... as I once imagined it to be.



I agree totally. It is funny how much pressure a public journal puts on you. I feel the pressure, even though I just have to follow my system. I can't imagine making trading decisions - trading in a discretionary fashion - while the whole futures.io (formerly BMT) world watches. Kudos to you for trying!

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  #382 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Balance

Everywhere we look - balance is key.

It's a recognition of limitations really. We can temporarily resist all these natural laws including balance, but we pay an inevitable price for doing so.

Physical balance, and emotional upset are like fire and water; they don't mix well. Try balancing on one foot. If you focus on being upset, you'll lose your balance. If you focus on your balance, you'll lose your upset.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another day that looks new to me in this journey of recognizing daily profile context.

What I do see:

- The profile looks ragged, and we probably need to do some "filling in".

- We've fallen back into an area that balanced for quite some time.


- After the big selloff on 2/25 the next day pretty much balanced across the lower half of that profile.


This leads me to look for a balanced/rotational day.. possibly wider ranging though, given the uncertainty and ragged profile from yesterday.

 
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  #383 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

I took a short at yesterday's POC on the profile's. Scale outs achieved, and I can guarantee you I'll be sticking with this runner until I'm SHOWN by the market that I don't want the trade on anymore. If orig stop is hit, the scales will have made it slightly profitable overall.


 
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  #384 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Confidence in this trade will go up exponentially if price can get accepted below this well defended open, which also puts us under the bracket high mentioned in pre-mkt post.

 
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  #385 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Ok, market just told me, "Hey, you don't want to be in this one anymore" So I got flat. We looked lower below the IB, snapped back (warning one) then I waited for a retest of the level and buyers were waiting there (warning two). Out.

This is a big deal for me. It wasn't easy at times to just hold this position.


 
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  #386 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Well.... I did not successfully hold my runner this time. I got caught up in very very short term orderflow. I bailed when sellers stepped in and quickly rejected an attempt at a new high for the day and pushed us below the previous mini swing high.

Gotta back out and only trade bigger picture. As I've mentioned, it's very different for me, so this will take time to perfect.


 
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  #387 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Took a short position based on:
a) Excess low from 4/10
b) Excess high from 4/9
c) Therefore ^^ there's a CLVN at 65.25
d) the rally losing steam in the area
d) expectation for rotational day back towards VWAP

Seems like we're balancing kind of a replica of 4/9 today




Scale out taken already on the current short, holding runner with target of ETH VWAP.

 
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  #388 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Update on that short trade:

Ended up adding to a full position again, getting scale outs again, then scratching the thing. Price was clearly not being accepted into the developing value area.




To me it's the ultimate quest in trading... to figure out whether at any point in time, the market is going to go for a continuation type move, or rather simply rotate between extremes. Trend vs range.



That'll be it for me today. I'll post the TST report when it comes out later this afternoon.

Overall today felt pretty good. I had a decent bead on what was happening all through the day. Even my decisions to exit (when I really knew I didn't want to be in anymore) would have been great trades to stop and reverse on. That typically is the case when I'm seeing things well.

I was super stressed out for that short trade. Fading an "uptrend" on my trading timeframe IS NOT something I am used to, and it went against every fiber in my being to put that trade on. In hindsight, I was uncomfortable for a reason - it was clearly a counter-trend trade in what is now in hindsight an uptrend since we broke to new highs.

No risk management issues today. Although I felt pretty shocked to see that after my 2nd trade (loser) I was BE on the day. The first trade was so long and went so far in my favor, and then to have a nearly instant stop out on the 2nd trade.... take a look at P/L.... and see I was flat.... It's showing the downside of scaling out for sure. It does make me question it a bit... but the other side of the coin is still there. Scaling out allows risk to be managed VERY effectively after a small move in my favor, sit back and allow the final 1/3 of the position to do it's thing. There's no right answer.

Really when I look at my trades plotted on the chart today, I don't see much of a difference in what they looked like before (just trading ST PA) and now (having TPO's up and referencing daily levels and such, looking to play the bigger picture). Maybe that's because my game plan didn't work out today. 2 of my 3 winning trades were not with the major direction today. I think this is OK. I think that I executed my plan pretty well... adjusted on the fly nicely... and did the best I could with what I saw today. Other days I will have the "right" game plan, and will see some big big profits for hanging in there longer and adding. No good opportunities for that today.

 
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  #389 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Only thing out of whack is how I currently have a larger average losing day than average winning day. This will work itself out naturally, given risk is managed properly.



There's a major discrepancy in how TST calculates trades, and how I see them. I had one losing trade today, as you can see from my fills on the chart shared earlier. TST has me down for 5 consecutive losers. I suppose on my 6 lot it filled as 1, 1, 1, 1, 2. So that one loss is actually 5 losses in their eyes. The MAJOR problem with this is that whether a 6 lot fills as one trade for the full 6 lot; or six trades of 1 lots, is totally random based on other players in the market at the time of my fill. So this can really screw up stats from what they should be... could be in my favor... could be against me... It's not ideal though.

 
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  #390 (permalink)
 josh 
Georgia, US
 
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I could be wrong, but a 6 lot that fills against 6 1-lots is still probably counted as a single "trade" using a FIFO matching method.

Here's the difference--in Sierra, when you use attached orders and have multiple targets, say, 3 targets and stops, then you will see that there are three separate entry orders, not one single one, because of the way the attached orders must use OCO.

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  #391 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Awareness - the beginning of all learning.

The process of learning naturally involves errors. Errors aren't the problem; ignoring or misunderstanding them is. In order to correct an error, you must first be fully aware of it, then the error is inevitable going to be corrected.

If awareness were merely intellectual, then infants couldn't learn.

Awareness heals, but it isn't always pleasant. Growth of awareness can be disillusioning. One sure sign of growing awareness is if you feel you're "getting worse". Increased awareness often entails a momentary drop in self-esteem, which explains the tendency to resist awareness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
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  #392 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

.....and just like that I trade like a crazy person. Stopped just shy of -$3k.

No words to describe the sheer frustration and dismay. I'm fine with losing trading a plan, but today was ridiculous.


 
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  #393 (permalink)
 PandaWarrior 
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indextrader7 View Post
.....and just like that I trade like a crazy person. Stopped just shy of -$3k.

No words to describe the sheer frustration and dismay. I'm fine with losing trading a plan, but today was ridiculous.


without knowing a darn thing about what and why the horizontal indicator plotted lines are there.....i'm just saying...S/R isn't present because a line gets plotted, its present when price action says it is......


Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, Leonardo da Vinci


Most people chose unhappiness over uncertainty, Tim Ferris
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  #394 (permalink)
 indextrader7 
Birmingham, AL
 
 
Posts: 1,065 since Apr 2012

Another combine is now toast.

This is really embarrassing to admit on a public journal, but I went in later in the day, and took a trade... knowing that it would have to pretty much be zero MAE to not exceed the daily loss limit. Insane behavior. Maybe I felt like I deserved to lose, to put a nail in the coffin, because I was upset with my lack of control to not over-trade?

Regardless, at least I improved from the first one.



There's not much to say really, other than the fact I may need to see a psychiatrist??

I'll go for another one soon, and continue to improve.

 
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  #395 (permalink)
 Surly 
denver, colorado
 
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indextrader7 View Post
Another combine is now toast.

This is really embarrassing to admit on a public journal, but I went in later in the day, and took a trade... knowing that it would have to pretty much be zero MAE to not exceed the daily loss limit. Insane behavior. Maybe I felt like I deserved to lose, to put a nail in the coffin, because I was upset with my lack of control to not over-trade?

There's not much to say really, other than the fact I may need to see a psychiatrist??

I'll go for another one soon, and continue to improve.

If it makes you feel any better I did the same thing on my first two combines. As well as my third. I did improve each one but haven't been able to meet the profit target yet. At least in my case my overtrading and allowing my losses to get too big were due to frustration with just not being able to trade well enough to make money consistently. Of course the problem of doing things you (or at least the "you" in more rational moments) know you should not be doing is something other than technical trading ability. I worked with andrew menaker for a time almost two years ago and one thing he strongly suggested was writing down how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking about doing, and whether my desire to do something was coming from an internal state or from an objective signal the market was giving. He wanted me to do this every 5 minutes throughout every trading day. Its a worthwhile exercise although difficult in practice - I think I was closer to every 15 minutes.

One thing you should definitely do in your next combine is something different (not necessarily something technically - doing something different procedurally will be more effective). In other words, don't just start another combine - figure out the most likely explanation for why you screwed up the first two and make a concrete plan to overcome whatever that main problem was in your next combine. I think if you just start again without changing something you won't improve as quick as you could.

good luck

Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty. - Frank Herbert
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  #396 (permalink)
 marcopolo1 
columbus OH/USA
 
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indextrader7 View Post
Another combine is now toast.

This is really embarrassing to admit on a public journal, but I went in later in the day, and took a trade... knowing that it would have to pretty much be zero MAE to not exceed the daily loss limit. Insane behavior. Maybe I felt like I deserved to lose, to put a nail in the coffin, because I was upset with my lack of control to not over-trade?

Regardless, at least I improved from the first one.



There's not much to say really, other than the fact I may need to see a psychiatrist??

I'll go for another one soon, and continue to improve.

Your body/bio-chemistry is wired to make you survive. Losing money makes you react like you are 'dying', so whatever the risk you will trade to not die (not loose $$$).... It's a wired survival thing... To overcome this, you need to become expert in self-control and self-discipline which takes a long time to master... Notice that this behavior affect your max day loss but also your whole trading (entering, exiting in strange places, over-trading....)

Until then, you need an external source to stop you from trading when you should stop yourself trading, e.g. use a platform or have someone preventing you from trading whenever the max day/trade loss is reached. A trick that could help is to trade like the max day loss is not $3000 but let's say $2000....

Good luck on your self-improving path

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  #397 (permalink)
iankotze
thabazimbi limpopo/south africa
 
 
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OK, first off, sorry to hear you busted out.

Looking at your trade report I would like to offer some advise.

Slow it down, first off you must learn to be happy with less, you must learn to trust yourself to do the right thing.
Take a smaller combine
Be consistent in the amount of trades per day and the hours that you trade.
Be consistent in the amount you lose on a trade.

You must slow it down and start off by taking baby steps. Get some consistency going so that you build up your mental capital. First you must manage yourself and your actions before you can start managing your trading.

It is going to take time, you cant rush it. So don't be swinging the big account, don't let your equity curve have wild swings, you need to become stable and relaxed so that you can trust yourself in your actions.

Hope that helps
Ian

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 kevinkdog   is a Vendor
 
 
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indextrader7 View Post
Another combine is now toast.

This is really embarrassing to admit on a public journal, but I went in later in the day, and took a trade... knowing that it would have to pretty much be zero MAE to not exceed the daily loss limit. Insane behavior. Maybe I felt like I deserved to lose, to put a nail in the coffin, because I was upset with my lack of control to not over-trade?

Regardless, at least I improved from the first one.

There's not much to say really, other than the fact I may need to see a psychiatrist??

I'll go for another one soon, and continue to improve.

Sorry to hear about this. I was (and still am) rooting for you!

If you figure out the root cause of your self sabotage, you won't need a shrink.

Blowing out 2 Combines by breaking a rule which you had complete control over is just self sabotage. Maybe you are sabotaging your trades, too - I don't know. If you are, that should be even more incentive to figure this out.

Ask yourself this:
"Why did I take that last trade today, knowing a loss would cause me to fail the Combine? I could have stopped today under $3000 loss, and had 10 or so days left to get positive, or even pass. Why did I feel that living to fight another day was the less desirable option?"

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 Big Mike 
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Has your life outside of trading changed in the last six months or so? Is there some external pressure to succeed that is causing you to force things in trading? Do you have a regular sustainable income that more than covers your monthly cost of living so that you don't feel financial pressure to succeed at trading?

Mike

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 indextrader7 
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kevinkdog View Post
Sorry to hear about this. I was (and still am) rooting for you!

If you figure out the root cause of your self sabotage, you won't need a shrink.

Blowing out 2 Combines by breaking a rule which you had complete control over is just self sabotage. Maybe you are sabotaging your trades, too - I don't know. If you are, that should be even more incentive to figure this out.

Ask yourself this:
"Why did I take that last trade today, knowing a loss would cause me to fail the Combine? I could have stopped today under $3000 loss, and had 10 or so days left to get positive, or even pass. Why did I feel that living to fight another day was the less desirable option?"

When I ask myself those questions, (and trust me, I am....) I have no answers.... yet at least.

The closest I can get is that it comes down to risk seeking/will to win type mindset. Like behavioral econ type study... I placed MORE value on the CHANCE that I could salvage the losing day, than I did the risk of exceeding the DLL and ruining the chances to complete that combine. That tiny opportunity carried more value in my mind, else I would not have chosen that option.


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