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"If I can't kick it or piss on it, I don't want to own it"
(in a discussion that started going towards trading)
VERY succesful guy.
I think about conversations like that. As it relates to how fast futures prices can change compared to something more tangible. Adding firepower to something already considered a myth.
But it seems that is the final step. It is in the mind. It is against what the mind is designed to do. Why, knowing that, do people push on?
But, some do. What percentage? Few.
Humbled, beaten, ridiculed, to the edge of questioning their own sanity. To the point of, having a decision to make. Do you quit, or evolve?
Becoming a trader is related to the concept of evolution. The environment to survive in changes.
Some things that do not transfer;
1) It is not what you know, but who you know
2) Success comes to those who work hardest
It is Thursday night, my wife is off tomorrow, so it is our weekend, we are drinking, I am drawn to this journal to explain myself as to why it is ok to trade for a living. Psychologically, it does not make sense, really. There are so many more reliable options I am not even going to try to count.
Personality. Passion. Life.
I read a quasi-quote from a great trader in bonds, "Live by the sword, die by the sword." That IS what it is like, in some ways.
"Easy" job? Yeah, right. Go grab your millions, pajama boy. Not that I get dressed up for trading every single day, but the visual of that, suggesting it is all R&R, is the best urban myth out there.
It is dedication, self discovery, persistance, deeper than anything anyone who has not been through it could understand.
Even the LOVE of it can be wrong.
The answer, is balance. Simple, Complicated.
I need some beets. Maybe @Zondor is onto something.
Can you help answer these questions from other members on NexusFi?
Volume is indecisive so far, open in range, above Y value but really not seeing it that way. Opening drive into Y value to test, rejected for now but incomplete low sitting there. Not seeing anything to do.
Today I have a very easy day, could completely blow of work if I want. Complete opposite of yesterday. Trading can have my full attention but so far is not showing anything that I understand more than a coin flip. My first thought is today should be tighter range, inside the 2-day balance, but that does not help me at this moment.
fast buy, 2 contracts 104.86, back out and flat 105.06. May target opposite end but what I took felt much more guaranteed. No chart image, was not important. The buy was from seeing just a tiny hint of buyers at Y POC/VPOC confluence. Risk was 12t, profit 2, not quite 2x1
EDIT: spike bottom. I should have held one to at least the lower IB. Dropping a scalper mentality is such a tough process sometimes. Disappointed in my split second approach. I think because today has been so slow other than this move, the adrenaline kicked up in comparison...
I saw that daily pivot line combined with the edge of RTH value, my profit target was set above the HOD, and then I closed it.
The feeling is frustration. That is obvious on the surface. But does not address the quick reaction. If I get past the frustration, what came before that? Right now that area is still clouded by my current emotions. That's ok, normal. But I need to hold this thought for awhile.
OK, some clarity. It is because the thought process of what I am wanting to do is different from what I have done the majority of the time. It is a groove my mind is in. Habit.
Many years spent not anticipating a move like I was targeting, having it catch me off guard, causing my trust to be compromised. Not trust, belief. Having not held that belief, one, and having not experienced the confirmation of that belief once held, two. Watching it and being in it are completely different things.
Keeping my eyes on footprint is probably a large part of it.
But I managed it well, got some good thougts from it. Cutting myself some slack as I only read my first MP book a few months ago. I need time to reinforce some different reactions. My entries were very good today, extremely good actually.
I sold the high but would not do it until YHOD broke, and my loss was an extreme tick stopout from that first entry. I hit it again, took a 20 cent move down to match my buy at the bottom, and leaving all that room in the middle until Monday, where surrender will remain my #1 focus.
I am taking a short journal vacation next week. I think a week of silence and pure trading is going to be good.
I have spent so much time learning where markets might turn, what they look like when they do, that it has become a hindrance for me. If that is not occuring, "I am not trading" is I think what lies in the background.
I will trade QM, and possibly even ES, and I am removing all price references in the values scale. I want price to move slower. I am going to take 1-2 trades a day, and let them run to stop, target, or RTH close, using the various concepts of "value" to define the approach.
I know very weel what the issues can be, what I am up against, have extracted so much from keeping this. But it is kind of like training wheels for me. There is some satisfaction out of continuing to journal that is not trading related.
My mind needs some manipulating to break out into a different understanding. A part of that is putting down the journal, if that is what this is.
From Dr Brett to Victor Niederhoffer, while writing the preface of The Psychology of Trading -
"....................Nothing is quite so conducive to reflection as travel. The combination of distinctive scenery and breaks from normal, daily schedules helps us think in new ways, see things in a new light. What we vacate during vacation are our routine ways. It is during those breaks from the routine that creative impulses are most likely to find expression.........."
Brett N. Steenbarger. The Psychology of Trading: Tools and Techniques for Minding the Markets (p. xiii).
He uses travel to gain perspective, assimilate and to detach himself from himself. One could use any tool that allows the same detachment. Perspective, assimilation and detached assessment are pretty hard to gain but very rewarding when and if one can get it. Solitude is rare practice, more should try it. Do less in life, slow it down. Smell the wet grass......enjoy the laughter of your loved ones, listen to them.
