The cure to all is balance. Center. But we all swing away from center on some path, closer or wider, circular or linear, violent or subtle. And that is normal. The goal then, if looking for balance, seems like it would be to reduce the path of travel. But possibly balance is obtained by increasing acceptance of the volatility.
Can you help answer these questions from other members on futures io?
I made quite a bit of money in 2012. Gave a big chunk back towards the end of the year.
It was due to issues with trading. Or, not really trading, but issues that ultimately affect trade psychology.
And somewhat melted down in full view. It started while I was making a killing, and ended with a big wash and a broken spirit.
It sent me searching for something. Anything.
I found that when I had hit a low financially several years prior, a cocktail of denial mixed with survival casued me to not truly feel the impact until I was on the path back up. Like I came out of the ether and thought, what the fuck happened?
Moving back into a previous house was a very influential part of the formula. Maybe the trigger, but really I believe it was brewing the whole time and would climax no matter what the path was...
The cure, which I think I have found, or not a cure, but the push that sent me on a better direction, was accepting where I was, realizing an obsession I had developed out of shock... in my mind, I was doing all the right things for years. And that "mind" comes from experience. Not wisdom, which is experience that digests lasting truths, but just only having what I knew to base the future on.
I currently find myself going through the same rites of passage - for example my CL Trade documented from post 157 to post 161
- almost each time the trades are triggered based on a mix of intuition, but usually after patiently waiting for setups where intuition is fed and once it is in tune with reading the pulse of the market - the acting on that emotion is the make or break part when it is demanded of - I find that the execution is as important as the 'knowing'.
I too have found, for example, that the first 'impulse' that suggests itself to me is almost always correct (perhaps triggered by the primitive amygdala of the brain?) and then it is matter of judging the pros and cons of acting upon that impulse.
I for one try to avoid math if I can every day (even though it is a practical necessity) - it either is laziness or it is some deeper issue - but it sometimes is damaging as it seems to be the glue that holds together the vital components of trading.
And welcome back. I look forward to reading your posts!
The following user says Thank You to iqgod for this post:
I have gone through so many variations of trades purely rule-based, to indicator-based, to chart analysis-based, to intuition-based...built spreadsheets like crazy, backtested...
And all have merit...
But I remain a proponent of the human factor, and based on where my mind is right now, I am working my trades to exercise myself psychologically. Confidence & uncertainty play a much higher role to me than indicators or probabilities.
Done correctly there is no separation.
I have not tried to define the origin of the initial impulse, but I have found that the "judging the pros and cons" has great variations of interpretation based on the mindset at the time.
I have come to believe that the math is only needed to form the belief, or track the path. But ultimately, the math is just another lagging indicator.
There is a definite difference having moved out of my prior house and into a friend's.
The last move felt uncomfortable, never felt right being in the house. Would wake up and one of my first thoughts was just, "fuck".
This recent move was strenuous, but I enjoyed getting settled in. half the size of our last home, but by filtering out a lot of unnecessities, and slowly working into the spaces this home has, it fits.
The house is circa 1920s, sits on a dead-end penninsula with 180 degree waterfrontage and a huge wraparound porch. Has some cool features, like full sound system to every room and the porch, 8 security cameras that all terminate on a screen in the master bedroom, so I can see the world outside from bed Outdoor TV room with built-in grill... I told my wife this is like a vacation house to me.
I set my trade desk up in a room that is open to the main living areas, with two full walls of windows looking out at the lake. I added a sofa and two chairs for friends/students to sit back and talk about what is happening on the charts, plus a 42" screen for easier casual viewing.
Price wants to consolidate around 97.00, I was in at 96.80, added in to "trade positions or bust", and got back out of the 2nd at +something. If it can't continue down it may chase shorts out going into 2:30, but I am going to hold this.
Outdoor TV room with built-in grill... I told my wife this is like a vacation house to me.
Looking forward to the next installment of your journey. 
