Disappointed myself, by closing at resistance around the VWAP. I do things like that more often than I care to. And keep no record of percentages when I am wrong or right. It "should" break 95.75, but...
And that self-doubt, or self-criticism... even the thought that somehow I am responsible for knowing or not knowing what price will do is insanity, or vanity, or ego. But that is where I beat myself up, if I am going to. Guilty of not knowing...
If the trade later proves to have gone tremendously in my favor, that would feel like I made a terrible trade. If price stops where I exitted and blows to 93, that would feel like I made an incredible trade. Silly, but inside there is some driving force that I feel. And am trying to pinpoint.
But, that is part of my journey.
Last edited by GaryD; February 15th, 2013 at 11:19 AM.
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Now is the insidious part... I was RIGHT this time. And that little seed will get planted and come back in ways I could never expect had I not been through it so many times...
What that can do, is cause me to exit on fear again next time. Or, I exit and am wrong causing a deeper feeling of regret because somehow I converted a winning trade with no expectation of outcome (correct) into a winning trade where I feel responsible for the outcome (incorrect). For example, I look back at the chart and se I got near the bottom of the move, and got out near the top of that swing, and feel "good" about it. Like it was something I could really control.
For my personality type, it is almost impossible to enter something like trading and not see it as a competition, a challenge, but then to see it as such and not be able to take control of the outcome is a hard lesson. Working on it. Getting better at it. But such a contrast.
And trying to dig into that concept is the purpose of this journal. And, the process of becoming an intuitive trader.
I saw in the book Mind Over Markets they offer labels of "Competent", "Proficient", "Expert". To me those titles seem to involve the same concerns I am having, that all could evoke ego. "Intuitive" seems to feel more correct.
Last edited by GaryD; February 15th, 2013 at 12:30 PM.
Patience, not so much. Patience suggest that I "need" to get in, and am holding myself back.
"Listening". If I am "trading", I am not patient, but rather I am already trading before I am in the trade. The patience is when the market is closed, or it is overnight and I would like to participate but am in unfamiliar territory. Between 9am and 2:30pm, if I am watching, I am trading, even if I am flat.
Look at the volume spike, see how it came back for a test of the low and the volume is higher than before, and the wick shows absorbtion. Look back over time and see where price was accepted and trust that it should at least get that low before you start looking for that.
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The TRADE was that price will break 95.75 (day trader pivot) before it breaks 95.20 (some place I accepted as a stop loss based on what I would risk on the trade). I was not willing to find out at the VWAP. The INITIAL stop loss had nothing to do with a profit target, only to do wiht an emergency stop and allowing for room for an additional spike down, with the expectation being that the high volume would catch it.
What I wish I would do, is use that as a short entry and target 95.30. And on a deeper level, that irritates me. But I choose "certainty" over uncertainty. Today I could not even challenge the daily VWAP, knowing that the "odds" somewhat preferred me taking what profit was immediately before me. But also knowing, or believing, that hitting 30% wins would be better than 65% wins.