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I am NOT a Trader


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I am NOT a Trader

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  #1 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
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I am NOT a Trader
I am NOT a husband, brother, son
I am NOT a $
I am NOT my job
I am NOT my hobbies
I am NOT a fancy car or vacation or anything else

These are just labels, things, roles that I play. But they are not me. Strip all these wordly concepts away and I am still me.

I am NOT a Trader but I play one on TV. I choose this role because it is fun and because it has value. Fun because it is a thinking game - challenging but not impossible. Valuable because it is uncertain like life is uncertain. People fear uncertainty because they are uncertain of death. What happens after? Anything? Everything? Uncertainty indeed. So trading = death. That is why we are so scared. Why the ego, the "I" in TradIng, is so attached. So needy. The ego needs to know. To be certain. To exist. Or else it dies. But it was never me to begin with only a role I choose to play.

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 Lornz 
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Watched Fight Club recently?

I agree with your sentiments about fearing the unknown. I've never been afraid of dying and I became profitable within a month.

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  #4 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
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Is the goal really to make money? Or to learn about ourselves? Money is nice certainly. But it has never lead to personal growth. After all I am not a $.

So Lornz I'll ask, since you don't fear death or uncertainty and were completely profitable from the start what challenges you to grow as a person? I'm not being satorical. I really want to know because I realize I fear success too. I fear stagnating under a big pile of money in the Bahamas with hot women all around me and every one of my needs taken care of. Because what will I do then to challenge myself and to grow?

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  #5 (permalink)
 liquidcci 
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eudamonia View Post
Is the goal really to make money? Or to learn about ourselves? Money is nice certainly. But it has never lead to personal growth. After all I am not a $.

So Lornz I'll ask, since you don't fear death or uncertainty and were completely profitable from the start what challenges you to grow as a person? I'm not being satorical. I really want to know because I realize I fear success too. I fear stagnating under a big pile of money in the Bahamas with hot women all around me and every one of my needs taken care of. Because what will I do then to challenge myself and to grow?

In trading goal is to make money. I can find myself other ways

"The day I became a winning trader was the day it became boring. Daily losses no longer bother me and daily wins no longer excited me. Took years of pain and busting a few accounts before finally got my mind right. I survived the darkness within and now just chillax and let my black box do the work."
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  #6 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
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liquidcci View Post
In trading goal is to make money. I can find myself other ways

Ok let's assume this is true. Then if I am not making money as a trader I have no value and there is no reason to be trading other than $.

So today I had a losing trade. Am I not a trader?

Well you might say, "one trade is irrelevant".

So this month was a losing month. Am I not a trader?

Well you might say, "one month is not enough time".

So this year was a losing year. Am I not a trader?

How long will this perpetuate before the ego, the "I" in tradIng is destroyed? Will we not start to feel threatened, that our very being is under attack at the slightest drawdown? And will we not respond vigorously, doing everything in our power (like pulling our stop losses) to ensure that we never have a major losing streak? Where does this end? Probably when we've embraced our ego to the fullest and we "forced" the market to see things our way. And another account is destroyed, ego and confidence shattered (but still lurking in the background), and are we any closer to learning about ourselves? Is our sole focus on making money (the opposite of losing money) moving us any closer to success or pushing us further away?

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 Lornz 
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eudamonia View Post
Is the goal really to make money? Or to learn about ourselves? Money is nice certainly. But it has never lead to personal growth. After all I am not a $.

So Lornz I'll ask, since you don't fear death or uncertainty and were completely profitable from the start what challenges you to grow as a person? I'm not being satorical. I really want to know because I realize I fear success too. I fear stagnating under a big pile of money in the Bahamas with hot women all around me and every one of my needs taken care of. Because what will I do then to challenge myself and to grow?

It took a while to get satisfactory risk-adjusted returns to warrant scaling up significantly. Trading is just a game, I have always had other/nobler ambitions in life. As I still have to trade for a few more years, I have tried to familiarize myself with more strategies and asset classes. Some of my trading is based on macroeconomic conditions, thus I need to constantly stay on top, preferably even ahead, of the political and economical turns of the world.

My intraday trading has become mind-numbingly boring. I hope this is my last year of such endeavors. I'm currently training my replacement...

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  #8 (permalink)
 liquidcci 
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eudamonia View Post
Ok let's assume this is true. Then if I am not making money as a trader I have no value and there is no reason to be trading other than $.

So today I had a losing trade. Am I not a trader?

Well you might say, "one trade is irrelevant".

So this month was a losing month. Am I not a trader?

Well you might say, "one month is not enough time".

So this year was a losing year. Am I not a trader?

How long will this perpetuate before the ego, the "I" in tradIng is destroyed? Will we not start to feel threatened, that our very being is under attack at the slightest drawdown? And will we not respond vigorously, doing everything in our power (like pulling our stop losses) to ensure that we never have a major losing streak? Where does this end? Probably when we've embraced our ego to the fullest and we "forced" the market to see things our way. And another account is destroyed, ego and confidence shattered (but still lurking in the background), and are we any closer to learning about ourselves? Is our sole focus on making money (the opposite of losing money) moving us any closer to success or pushing us further away?

If you can throw a football does that make you a football player?
If you can make a basket does that make you a basketball player?

There is a big difference between trading and being a trader. Anyone can trade but all are not traders. Not being a trader does not mean you have no value. Failing at trading does not mean you have no value. Sometimes we assign our success or failures to our value. But neither of those things determine a persons worth in my opinion.

Trading will reveal much about who you are and who you are not but it's purpose is to make money. There are cheaper ways to look deep inside and "find yourself" if that is what you are after.

"The day I became a winning trader was the day it became boring. Daily losses no longer bother me and daily wins no longer excited me. Took years of pain and busting a few accounts before finally got my mind right. I survived the darkness within and now just chillax and let my black box do the work."
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  #9 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
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Yesterday and during the O/N session the following levels were observed:

1383.75 responsive sellers
1376.75 acceptance
1370 initiative sellers
1369.5 responsive sellers
1364.5 acceptance
1360.25 acceptance
1356.75 acceptance
1354 responsive buyers

Premise for the day:

Holding below 1354/55 = looking for trend day down
Holding above 1354/55 and below 1360/62.25 = looking for balancing day
Holding above 1360/62.25 = looking for gaps to be filled at 72.5 and 75.25

We held above 1360/62.25 with the low of the day at 1362.75. Therefore, I was looking for 72.5 as my first upside target and was looking at longs only.

6:30a - ES open at 1363.75. OS low 1363.5. OS high 1365.5

6:42a - ES long @1362.75. Target is 66. Risk is 2. +3.25
Main premise of the day. Took profit at pre-market resistance looking to re-enter on pullback.

7:25a – ES long @1368. Target is 72.
9:44a – ES long @1366.5 (avg 1367.5). Target is 72. Risk is 4. -4
Continuation of main premise. Entered at likely pull-back areas. OS high did not hold.

11:25a – ES long @1364.00. Target is 66. Risk is 2. +2
Test of the OS low. Probability of neutral day is low. Near the IB. Target at pre-market resistance.

12:17a – ES long @1366.5. Target 70.5. Risk is 1.5. +0 (end of day)
Continuation of main premise after pullback in pre-market resistance. Ran out of time before close.

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  #10 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
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Ever since we entered school we have been measured, graded. The grading system accounts for most of the disappointments growing up. At home, we are measured by our parents whether you are “doing good” or “you are a disappointment”. We get a job and it is the same except now a boss evaluates us. Our lives are a constant struggle “not to disappoint” which in turn sets us up for perpetual disappointment.

Most of our social conditioning comes from this very fact. It is the elusive obvious. We don’t question this system. We just are born into it and grow into it and will probably die in it without questioning it or its validity. Most of this measuring is done by people who in turn are being measured..and it goes on infinitum.

Then we come to trading. We get into it and what do we do? Same old measuring. This is the reason many traders struggle with “outcome vs. process”. They can not let go of the measuring. Bad trade/good trade, bad day/good day, good entry/bad entry, good/bad performance, good trading method vs bad trading method, good advice vs bad advice and the list goes on and on.

We miss out on the courage to be imperfect. My best performances as a trader have been imperfect ones. I came back from gross mistakes or salvaged bad situations. When we let go of perfection results came tumbling down. I would say that being courageous is defined by how imperfect you can be. How much of a fool you are willing to be perceived as. How much "measuring" you are willing to mess up.

I believe in fact that trial and error is at the heart of successful trading. That΄s how it is learned. Most traders are terrified to make mistakes. Why? You guessed it right. The measuring system. It haunts them in the back of their head. Makes them feel they need to “improve” constantly to “live up to”. Not good because it destroys our natural ability. It goes against our core. The trader is not relaxed so he can not perform properly. His own outcome oriented mind paralyzes him. The “need for constant feedback” is at the heart of the measuring system. The need to be “reassured” that we are doing it right even when we are doing it right. Self confidence is coming from the “outside” not from inside where it should.

Therefore, I won't judge results on the basis of good or bad. I am enough.

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  #11 (permalink)
 mattz   is a Vendor
 
 
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@eudamonia


Trading is a business, and the goal of the business is to make money.
Success is measured in terms of what you earned because you spend so much time studying, observing, taking notes, testing, etc that somehow you must show reward beyond personal growth at some point.

Sadly, Trading is one of those fields that has a very uncorrelated relations of effort versus outcome for many traders.
Some put effort and come out ahead and some do not. If one approaches this game from the perspective of "The goal of Trading is to Make Money" a plan starts to formulate.

I do agree that trading has a process, and you cant always focus on the short-term. But, beginner traders do not lose because of fear of being "measured" rather they fight impulsiveness, and other reactionary behavior as a response to the way prices fluctuate.

When beginners start reading more about traders who are successful, only then measurement comes to mind, which is a must. The measurement against better traders, and those who treat trading as a business. They start developing a plan to reduce frequency of trading, observing odds of one trade versus another, etc. In short, what you think is a cause of failure IMHO could be the turning point for many traders. Isn't measurement a form of motivation that drives us forward?

Trading futures and options involves substantial risk of loss and is not suitable for all investors. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results. You may lose more than your initial investment. All posts are opinions and do not claim to be facts. Please conduct your own due diligence. Use only Risk capital when trading Futures.
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  #12 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
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When I walk into a room people want to talk to me, to get my attention, and want to be me because I am 100% authentic. People like me because I love myself first. I'm not trying to get anything from them. In any social interaction they are reacting to me and are drawn into my reality. If they don't like my reality no big deal. I move on unphased.

It's the same when it comes to trading. The market reacts to me. When I place a trade the market moves for me. It wants to because I am not trying to force the market to do anything it doesn't already want to do. When I'm against the market flow I take my stops like a champ. Another hot trade is right around the corner. No need to force this one. There are so many amazing opportunities I don't have time for them all.

Everyday I am a 10/10.

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday and O/N levels

1386.75 responsive sellers
1382 responsive sellers ON
1377.25 acceptance ON
1373 init and responsive buyers ON
1369 acceptance
1362.5 init buyers

Premise is if we hold above 1379.50 then targeting 86.75 responsive sellers and 90.25 gap.
Hold below 1379.50 then targeting 75.25 and 72.5 gaps.

FOMC was the big catalyst for the day. Quiet rotations before FOMC. 82/83 no responsive sellers stepped in. 86.75 responsive sellers stepped in. Couldn't seem to break below OS low at 1380 except for a couple ticks. Multiple tests of this level and rotations up to 1384/85.

6:30a - ES open 1381.25. OS high 1383. OS low 1380.5. Open rejection reverse
6:32a - ES short at 1382.25. stop at 84.25 targets at 79 and 75.25. -2/-2
no responsive sellers at this level. missed taking the 86.75 short that followed.
8:58a – ES long at 1382.00. stop at 80.25. target 86.5 -1.75
blown out on the FOMC news. no biggie half sized for a reason.
9:34a – ES long at 1381.25. stop at 80. target 86.5 +2/+5.25
right back in once premise holds

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  #14 (permalink)
 zt379 
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Lornz View Post
Watched Fight Club recently?

I agree with your sentiments about fearing the unknown. I've never been afraid of dying and I became profitable within a month.

Thanx for the thread @eudamonia, interesting "stuff".

@Lornz gets to the heart of the matter imo, thx.

I guess one way or another the unknown is what it's all about.
Perhaps our way of dealing with that, what we choose, whether we realize it or not, is to think we need to be all of these things and have all of these wants. The need to be needed, loved, valued etc..etc.. the want to be wanted, loved, valued etc..etc..

Perhaps all of these things fill in our lives, like filling in the spaces between things, a space that is essentially unknown. They give us meaning but only in the sense of an unknown alternative.

We seem to require a validation of our existance and of the self for the selfs sake.
It's all very odd really especially when we all know, whether we care to think about it or not, that we will all end in this form at one time or another.

The thing about life is that...errrm.....hang on a moment....no that's not it...put it this way....ermm....no that's not it either....well it's ....no I had it for a moment but it's gone now....

We seem to seek perminance when there really isn't any.
Nothing is fixed. It's all ever changing and for as hard as we try to have things set and fixed in our way for us, well it's not really sustainable when everything is always changing.

Perhaps in all this seeking of definitions we lose sight of the moment and that in of itself that is all there is.
For as much as we choose to seek ourslves in some pre-defined future or prior labelled past we are not here, now.
Present to the continual flow of ever changing new moments.

Now just is and is, is busy being it...perhaps.

Maybe our awareness of that being will give us the better realization of all the opportunities that exist now for each of us rather than trying to get everything "fixed"....but we have to be present ?

As for dealing with the unknown, for me, I guess I accept it and then smile.

Just some thoughts...
Anyway, where is life..it's got to be somewhere around here...!

kind regards
zt379

"Every moment I wake up I realize I know nothing, and then I smile..." zt379
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 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
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Why do we let our emotions control us?

Have you ever felt that someone important to you let you down?
Have you ever "needed" a trade to go your way?
Have you ever had someone or some event attack your identity?
Have you ever lost a thing that you were greatly attached to?

All of these emotional demons are about frame. When the "monkey" is on a rampage you've been thrown out of frame, out of your reality, and been sucked into another.

Last night I got angry. Monkey angry. Someone I had trusted had let me down. But the anger was really about my expectations. Those expectations aren't real. They never are no matter what you think. Most of the time I'm rock solid in my frame. But I stepped off and onto the crazy train. The funny thing was this was a pretty trivial matter - but because my ego got attached to an outcome bad mental mojo was bound to happen.

How do you get back once you've been pushed out of frame? First you need to recognize it. Once you've done that you can see that your fantasy reality and the real reality are out of sync. Practice this enough and you will automatically step back into frame. The stronger your attachment to X, the more you will resist recognizing you are out of frame.

My lamborgini blew up. It was never mine anyway and I got to drive it for a little while which was damn fun.
My supermodel gf/wife broke up with me. She was never mine anyway and now I can see other hot women who are probably even better.
My trading sucked today, this week, this year. There is always another day or week and if my trading has been bad for an entire year perhaps I can do something else. Something even more productive and more lucrative.

Whatever you think you are attached to visualize letting it go. It never was you.

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 mattz   is a Vendor
 
 
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To trade, or not to trade, that is the question:
Whether Lamborghini breakdown in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous paper trading methods
Or to take Arms against a Sea of Supermodels Girlfriends who break my heart.

Trading futures and options involves substantial risk of loss and is not suitable for all investors. Past performance is not necessarily indicative of future results. You may lose more than your initial investment. All posts are opinions and do not claim to be facts. Please conduct your own due diligence. Use only Risk capital when trading Futures.
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  #17 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
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Yesterday's and ON levels

1392.25 responsive sellers
1387.75 acceptance
1380 initiative buyers
1375 acceptance
1370 buying tail

Premise for the day was to look for responsive sellers at 92.5 should we hold above 1379.5 or
to look for responsive buyers at 72.5 and 70 should we hold below 1379.5.

After the first hour it was clear that the OS was holding on initiative buying interested in the 1380 area.

6:30a - ES open at 1383.75. OS low 1383. OS high 1384.75. open auction in range
7:02a - ES long at 1386.75. and 1387.75 target is 1389 and 90.5 stop is 85.75. +1.75/-1.5
8:01a – ES long at 1386.5. stop 1384.75. target is 90.75 +1.5/+4.25
10:50a – ES short at 1392.5. stop 1394.5. -2 /-2
12:19a – ES short at 1397.5 stop at 1400.25. +1.5

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  #18 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
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When you placed your first trade you were like a baby. You had an idea, you took the trade and made a profit. Your self worth wasn't determined by the market because nothing had ever hurt you. You didn't know fear. Then you took several losses. And the baby started to cry. You were wounded. You knew fear.

So you built an ego. To protect yourself. You learned how to trade with 10,000 indicators. You saw indicators in technicolor. If trading wasn't going your way it was the indicator's fault not your own. Time to find the next holy grail. And the next. And the next. And it never stops going unless you decide it must.

What is the real reason that your trading isn't what you want it to be? It isn't because you are lacking some indicator or some secret knowledge of the market. It isn't because there is a lack of opportunity in the markets. It isn't because you can't make money. It is because there will be times that you aren't yourself. Times where expectations and reality collide and all of a sudden the ego is driving the bus. After you've exterminated your account or decimated your emotional well being you come out of this dream state and you start to believe, "I can't be trusted."

Return yourself to the state where your self worth is inherent. Do not feed the ego with validation from the market or anything else. You are enough.

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 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
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Yesterday and O/N levels

1403 responsive sellers
1399 acceptance
1394-96.25 acceptance
1389-90 initiative buying
1386.75 responsive buyers

Premise is to look for longs at key support zones at 1397-98 and 1394-96.

6:30a - ES open at 1400.75. OS high 1401.00, OS low 1399.75. Open auction out of range.
6:43a - ES long at 1397.25. -1.75/-1.75
6:51a - ES long at 1396.25. Stop 1395. Target 1402.75. +1.75/-1.25
7:07a – ES long at 1394.25. Stop 1392.75. +2/+2
8:08a – ES long at 1397.5. Stop 1396. +5

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday's and ON levels

1403 responsive buyers
1396-98 acceptance
1393.5-94.5 responsive buyers
1389.75 initiative buyers
1382.75 acceptance

My premise is that if we hold above 1394-95 that we will test 96/98 and possibly 1403. If we hold below 1394-95 looking for a test of 89.75 and possiblly 82.75.

6:30a - ES open at 1396.25. OS low 1395.75. OS high 1397. open auction in range
6:44a - ES short at 1393.75. 1.5 stop. +2/-1.5
8:22a – ES short at 1393. 2 stop. Target 1390. +3

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 eudamonia 
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Fantasy - I should have not been stopped out of a trade today by 1 tick.

Reality - Stopped out by 1 tick.

Do I embrace fantasy (woulda, coulda, shoulda) or reality?

Every action I take I am only concerned with Reality (NOW) not Fantasy (could have been).

When you embrace the NOW and disregard COULD HAVE BEEN you act based on reality. When you embrace FANTASY over REALITY the monkey starts driving the bus. You are not a monkey. Do not give the monkey permission to drive the bus!

So the REALITY today is:

First trade - stopped out at break even. No one cares. Least of all the market.
Second trade - got right back in because premise was solid. And I willing accepted the risk that this could also be a loser.

You are enough. Stay in the NOW.

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday and ON levels

1402-03 responsive sellers
1396-98 acceptance
1389.75 responsive buyers
1382.75 acceptance

My premise was that if we hold above yesterday's VPOC at 1392.5 that we would push to the 96/98 acceptance level.

6:30a - ES open at 1392.75. OS high 1393.5. OS low 1392.75. OAIR.
6:49a - ES long at 1393. stop 91. Target 88. +3/+5

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 eudamonia 
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I hear that trading is all about the money.

I also hear that weight lifting is all about lifting the heaviest weights.

Russian disabled bodybuilder

I guarantee that this guy did not get to squatting 162kg unassisted without working on his mental space first.

What would it take for you to mentally accept a disability like this guy and then become a world-class athlete? Does that sound "impossible"?

Now what would it take for you to accept your losing trades and trade with mental discipline?

Which one sounds harder? More risky?

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Warrie
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Fantasy - I should have not been stopped out of a trade today by 1 tick.

Reality - Stopped out by 1 tick.

Do I embrace fantasy (woulda, coulda, shoulda) or reality?

Every action I take I am only concerned with Reality (NOW) not Fantasy (could have been).

When you embrace the NOW and disregard COULD HAVE BEEN you act based on reality. When you embrace FANTASY over REALITY the monkey starts driving the bus. You are not a monkey. Do not give the monkey permission to drive the bus!

So the REALITY today is:

First trade - stopped out at break even. No one cares. Least of all the market.
Second trade - got right back in because premise was solid. And I willing accepted the risk that this could also be a loser.

You are enough. Stay in the NOW.

what is also reality: if you get stopped out to often by 1 tik you might consider changing your stops, it's a big part of trading, not only fantasy

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday's and ON Levels

1411.5 responsive sellers
1408 acceptance
1404.75 responsive sellers ON
1400-01 acceptance ON
1389.25-1391.25 responsive buyers
1387 acceptance
1382.50 responsive buyers

Premise is that if we hold above 1387-89 then we will test 1403. If we hold below 1387-89 then we will test 1383.

6:30a - ES open at 1394. OS high 1394.75. OS low 1393. OAIR.
7:55a – ES short 1394.5. Stop 1396. -1.5/-1.5
Trade was to test if IB would hold. IB failed marking neutral day.
9:38a – ES short 1398. Stop 1399.5. Target 1395. +3
Trade was to test main premise. Half sized to reflect indecisive action on a neutral day. Lot of congestion in the 1394 zone.

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday's and ON levels

1411.5 responsive sellers
1408 acceptance
1402.25-1403 acceptance - ON
1394 acceptance
1389.75 responsive buyers

Premise was that we would hold above 1390-93. Wide zone. After the opening swing it was clear that the OS low would be a significant resistance point.

6:30a - ES open at 1398.25. OS high 1399. OS low 1397.25. Open rejection reverse.
7:15a - ES long 1@1393.00. add 1391. stop 1390. +3.75

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 eudamonia 
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"Fear seems to have many causes. Fear of loss, fear of failure, fear of being hurt, and so on, but ultimately all fear is the ego's fear of death, of annihilation. To the ego, death is always just around the corner. In this mind-identified state, fear of death affects every aspect of your life. For example, even such a seemingly trivial and "normal" thing as the compulsive need to be right in an argument and make the other person wrong - defending the mental position with which you have identified - is due to the fear of death. If you identify with a mental position, then if you are wrong, your mind-based sense of self is seriously threatened with annihilation. So you as the ego cannot afford to be wrong. To be wrong is to die. Wars have been fought over this, and countless relationships have broken down.

Once you have disidentified from your mind, whether you are right or wrong makes no difference to your sense of self at all, so the forcefully compulsive and deeply unconscious need to be right, which is a form of violence, will no longer be there.

You can state clearly and firmly how you feel or what you think, but there will be no aggressiveness or defensiveness about it. Your sense of self is then derived from a deeper and truer place within yourself, not from the mind. Watch out for any kind of defensiveness within yourself. What are you defending? An illusory identity, an image in your mind, a fictitious entity. By making this pattern conscious, by witnessing it, you disidentify from it. In the light of your consciousness, the unconscious pattern will then quickly dissolve. This is the end of all arguments and powergames, which are so corrosive to relationships. Power over others is weakness disguised as strength. True power is within, and it is available to you now.

...Is there something that you "should" be doing but are not doing it? Get up and do it now. Alternatively, completely accept your inactivity, laziness, or passivity at this moment, if that is your choice. Go into it fully. Enjoy it. Be as lazy or inactive as you can. If you go into it fully and consciously, you will soon come out of it. Or maybe you won't. Either way, there is no inner conflict, no resistance, no negativity.

Stress is caused by being "here" but wanting to be "there," or being in the present but wanting to be in the future. It's a split that tears you apart inside. To create and live with such an inner split is insane. The fact that everyone else is doing it doesn't make it any less insane. If you have to, you can move fast, work fast, or even run, without projecting yourself into the future and without resisting the present. As you move, work, run - do it totally. Enjoy the flow of energy, the high energy of that moment. Now you are no longer stressed, no longer splitting yourself in two. Just moving, running, working - and enjoying it. Or you can drop the whole thing and sit on a park bench. But when you do, watch your mind. It may say: "You should be working. You are wasting time." Observe the mind. Smile at it."

Eckhart Tolle

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday and ON levels

1396.75 responsive sellers
1394 acceptance
1388.5 acceptance ON
1384.5 acceptance
1382.25 acceptance ON
1378.5 responsive buyers ON

Premise was that we would have responsive buyers at initial support 1378.5. No responsive buyers at that level nor the next. Initiative selling day.

6:30a - ES open 1379.75. OS high 1381.25. OS low 1378.75. OAIR
6:35a - ES long 1379. stop 1377.5. -1.5/-1.5
7:00a - ES long 1375. stop 1373.5 -1.5/-1.5
9:46a – ES short 1364.75. stop 1366.25 -1.5

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dryg
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I believe in fact that trial and error is at the heart of successful trading. That΄s how it is learned.

Precicely!

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 eudamonia 
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The following is a story attributed to the Zen Master Hakuin Ekaku:

A beautiful Japanese girl whose parents owned a food store lived near Hakuin. One day, without any warning, her parents discovered she was pregnant. This made her parents angry. She would not confess who the man was, but after much harassment at last named Hakuin.

In great anger the parents went to the master. "Is that so?" was all he would say.

After the child was born it was brought to Hakuin. By this time he had lost his reputation, which did not trouble him, but he took very good care of the child. He obtained milk from his neighbors and everything else the child needed.

A year later the girl could stand it no longer. She told her parents the truth - the real father of the child was a young man who worked in the fish market.

The mother and father of the girl at once went to Hakuin to ask forgiveness, to apologize at length, and to get the child back.

Hakuin willingly yielded the child, saying only: "Is that so?"

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 Surly 
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E - if you haven't seen these, check them out - I think you'll like this talk. Its in two parts:

TED Talks- Srikumar Rao: Plug into your hard-wired happiness- Part 1/2 - YouTube

TED Talks- Srikumar Rao: Plug into your hard-wired happiness- Part 2/2 - YouTube

Very "power of now" but his topic is a bit different. Let me know what you think.

surly

Seek freedom and become captive of your desires. Seek discipline and find your liberty. - Frank Herbert
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 mikusha 
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I am NOT a Trader

These are just labels, things, roles that I play. But they are not me. Strip all these wordly concepts away and I am still me.

But it was never me to begin with only a role I choose to play.

if you want to take this further, google "e-prime"

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 researcher247 
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Hola,

I am slow (special-needs trader).

What does this fable mean?

Peace

Hedvig

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 eudamonia 
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Can you accept what life gives you - good and bad? Can you make the best out of any situation or does your ego demand satisfaction? Some things are out of your control - can you accept that or do you fight it?

The fable is of a man who accepts what life presents to him and makes the best of every moment while his ego demands nothing.

Most of us would be angry at the woman who lied to her parents.
We would have rejected the child presented to us as being not our responsibility.
We would have fought to protect our reputation.

Do any of these reactions really improve the situation?

The woman who lied begged for forgiveness. She and her parents were remorseful instead of angry.
The child did not suffer but was well cared for.
The monk's reputation became even more renown after this incident.

What if we were to accept what life gives us and place no judgement on it?

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday and ON levels

1380 initiative selling
1370 responsive sellers
1367.5 acceptance
1364.5 acceptance
1356.75 responsive buyers

Premise was to look for shorts below 1361 looking to test initial support at 1348.
Strong trend day setup all morning.
2nd premise was to look for short-squeeze above the 43/44 level.
Shorts got squeezed after we tested down to the 43/44 level. Rotations up to the IB brought out long-term buyers
who pushed the market up to the 1361.5 area.

6:30a - ES open at 1357.25
6:36a - ES short 1356.00. stop 1357.5. -1.5/-1.5
6:53a - ES short 1356.75. stop 1358.25. +2/+7
7:55a – ES long 1347.5. stop 1346. -1.5/-2
9:38a – ES long 1347.25. stop 1345.75 +3
11:47a – ES long 1352.5. stop 1351. target 1356. +3.5

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 zt379 
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Interesting article on the nature of ego as energy.
hope it relates to the thread.

Ego Vibrations: A Game of Limitation - Waking Times : Waking Times

"Ego is a term that plays a fundamental role in the study of “I” in our daily, individual existences. For countless ages humanity has pondered this concept, struggled with this concept, and even warred over this concept. For a word that is so deeply indoctrinated in our lives, ego conjures up many different feelings and thoughts in many different people. Let us closely examine the ego and its impact on our universe in an attempt to gain a clearer understanding of its meaning and purpose."

"Every moment I wake up I realize I know nothing, and then I smile..." zt379
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 eudamonia 
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1365.75 Selling tail
1362.5 responsive sellers
1353.25 acceptance ON
1348.25 acceptance
1343.75 responsive buyers

Main premise is that we test the 1341-43 area to see if further selling is warranted. After the 7:30 news buyers step in aggressively and push us to a new IB zone around the 1348.25 acceptance. Stong chance at this point for a normal variation day.

From there the 2nd hypo of the day sets up where we eventually held above the 1353 ON acceptance area to test yesterday's close at 1358.5.

6:30a - ES open at 1345.75. OS low 1344.5. OS high 1347.5. OAIR
7:01a - ES short 1348. -1
8:25a – ES long 1352.75. stop 1350.5. +3/+0
10:13a – ES long 1352.75. stop 1351. +5.75

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  #38 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
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1365.75 selling tail
1360 responsive sellers
1352.75 acceptance
1340 responsive buyers

Main premise was that we would test the 1365 gap area.

6:30a - ES open 1361.25. OS high 1362. OS low 1360.5. open auction out of range
6:53a - ES long 1362. stop 1360.5 -1.5
10:46a – ES long 1359.25. stop 1358. -1.25

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  #39 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
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Yesterday's and ON levels

1362.5 responsive sellers
1359/57 acceptance
1349 acceptance ON
1343.75 responsive buyers ON

Main premise of the day was to short the 1350-52 level and looking for extreme liquidation below 1344.
Secondary premise was to go long only if we pushed above and held above 1355.

6:30a - ES open at 1346.25. OS low 1345.5. OS high 1347.5. test drive
6:45a - ES short 1350.00. -2.25

Tested first premise on half size due to order flow and test drive open. Wasn't available for 2nd premise.

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 eudamonia 
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1363.5 responsive sellers
1359.5 acceptance
1350.5 responsive sellers ON
1345 responsive buyers
1337.5 acceptance ON
1335.75 responsive buyers ON

Main premise was to look for short liquidation if we held below 1334.5. Note: although we broke down below this area briefly we had heavy absorption both attempts to move below the low of the day. Didn't see any signs of this premise materializing once that started happening.

Second premise was to look for long opportunity above 1340 once we broke IB.

6:30a - ES open 1337.5. OS high 1337.75. OS low 1336.5. auction out of range
8:25a – ES long 1340.5 +2 (very quick not filled on 2nd half).

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday and ON levels

1342.5 responsive sellers
1338.5 acceptance
1332.5 initiative sellers
1320.75 responsive buyers

The 1330.5 was a pivotal level for the day and I was looking for trades holding above this area to be long and below this area to be short.

My secondary premise of the day setup later in the day, which was for long-term buyers to step in at key support areas including the 1324/1326 zone.

6:30a - ES open 1334.00. OS high 1336. OS low 1333. OAIR
8:30a – ES short at 1330.75. -1.25
9:26a – ES long at 1330. +2/-.5
10:41a – ES long 1325.75 +2/+5.5

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday and ON levels

1326.5 responsive sellers
1325.25 acceptance
1307.25 responsive buyers
1305.75 acceptance
1302.25 responsive buyers
1290.75 buying tail

Main premise was to look for a liquidation move below 1305.25.
Second premise was to look for IB high to hold (didn't hold today).

6:30a - ES open at 1307.00. OS low 1305.25. OS high 1308.5. OAOR.
7:36a - ES long at 1299.75 +1.5/-.75
8:18a - ES short at 1300.25 +1.75/+5.25
10:38a - ES long at 1301.5. +1.25
11:43a - ES short at 1308.50 -2.5/-2.5

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  #43 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
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Opportunities are everywhere. Every second the markets are moving provides unlimited opportunity.

Do you believe it is possible? Then it is.

Not only is it possible but it is inevitable.

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday and ON levels

1326.5 responsive sellers
1325.25 acceptance
1321.5 acceptance
1305.75 acceptance
1300 acceptance
1294 responsive buyers

Main premise for the day was a pullback to the 1315-17 area (OS low was 1316.5) and to see buyers step in. Scalped the first test of that area and then waited to see responsive buyers step in at 14.75.

6:30a - ES open at 1320.5 OS high 1321. OS low 1316.5
6:40a - ES long at 1316.5 +2
6:52a - ES long at 1315.25. +1.5/4.75

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 eudamonia 
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Yesterday and ON levels

1329 responsive sellers
1322.5 acceptance
1319 acceptance
1312 responsive buyers

Main premise of the day was to look for longs above 1319 to take us to 1333-1334 resistance area. I took the long about a minute after the news when we retested on the open at 1326. This area was quickly rejected.

6:30a - ES open at 1326. OS high 1327. OS low 1323.75. Open rejection reverse
7:00a - ES long 1326 +2/+7.5

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  #46 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
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Yesterday and ON levels

1334.25 responsive sellers
1331.5 acceptance
1322 acceptance
1315 buying tail

Main premise was to look for signs of continued selling from the ON session. Once we opened with a test drive down against the 1320 open and failed to retest significantly against the OS low at 1317.50 this looked like the main premise for the day.

Original target was 1306.5; however, we had multiple absorptions in the 1312-13 area and just couldn't seem to slice through.

6:30a - ES open at 1320.00. 1320.5 OS high. 1317.5 OS low. Test drive.
6:35a - ES short at 1317. +2/+5.25

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 eudamonia 
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The reason that traders lose is because they believe it is easy money. It is the hardest money you will ever earn. Work on this harder than you worked on your job or business. Get up one hour earlier, push yourself that much harder than yesterday, do not stop striving to be at 100% everyday.

What if you committed yourself to trading your best every single day? What if you followed Big Mike's simple advice and changed nothing on your charts? What if you journaled every trade or went even further and recorded your trading sessions in Camtasia? What if you became a diligent student of yourself, your fears, your greed, your emotions, your mental blocks just as you watch and observe the market? What if you observed the orderflow, observed every tick of the market, even if you had no intention of trading that day?

Could you make this committment for a single day, week, month, or year?

What would you have to gain if you took on this committment?

What would you lose if you took on this committment?

Even if you failed you would know that you had given it everything you had. You would never have in your mind, coulda, woulda, shoulda.

And should you succeed? Anything is possible. Not only is it possible but it's inevitable.

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 Big Mike 
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Are you doing them all?

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  #49 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
Experience: None
Platform: None
Broker: ADM and Sierra Charts
Trading: ES, CL
 
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Posts: 315 since Jul 2010
Thanks: 308 given, 448 received


Big Mike View Post
Are you doing them all?

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Mike,

I haven't changed anything about the way I trade in over 6 months, no new indicators, methods, etc. I keep detailed journals and a daily pre-market and post-market plan. I was keeping all of my sessions in video; however, I'm finding that getting the time to go through these is the challenge with my current schedule so I'm not sure they provide much value.

More importantly do I give 100% effort everyday? I wish I could say that I did. Somedays and even some weeks I definitely do. Other times I don't. I get lost in the land of excuses as much as anyone else can.

It's as much a challenge to myself as to anyone else.

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  #50 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
Experience: None
Platform: None
Broker: ADM and Sierra Charts
Trading: ES, CL
 
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Posts: 315 since Jul 2010
Thanks: 308 given, 448 received

Yesterday and ON levels

1281.5 responsive sellers
1273 acceptance
1265.25 responsive buyers

Main premise was to buy a break and hold above the 69-71 level.

Opening swing was a test drive to the long side and once the VIX started pushing below yesterday's low it was clear which direction we would have for our early morning bias.

6:30a - ES open at 1272.25. OS low 1271.25. OS high 1274.75. Open rejection reverse
6:51a - ES long at 1277.5. +2/+3.5

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  #51 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
Experience: None
Platform: None
Broker: ADM and Sierra Charts
Trading: ES, CL
 
eudamonia's Avatar
 
Posts: 315 since Jul 2010
Thanks: 308 given, 448 received

Yesterday and ON levels

1300.75 responsive sellers
1292 acceptance
1287 initiative buyers
1280.75 acceptance
1273 rejection at prior acceptance

Main premise of the day was to be a buyer if we held above 1291/93. As soon as we started breaking above the 97-99 resistance area I had a target of 1303-04.

Wasn't around for the rest of the day so just 1 and done.

6:30a - Es open at 1293.75. OS low 1293.25. OS high 1296.5
6:43a - ES long at 1297.25 +2.5
6:51a - ES long at 1298.5 +4

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  #52 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
Experience: None
Platform: None
Broker: ADM and Sierra Charts
Trading: ES, CL
 
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Posts: 315 since Jul 2010
Thanks: 308 given, 448 received

Yesterday and ON levels

1322.75 responsive sellers
1314 acceptance
1302 acceptance
1298.75 responsive buyers

Main premise was that if we trade above 97-99 then we'll go to 18-19 area. Took one stab a little early on in the day at initial support but just wasn't convinced of price action. After it popped up I looked for the pullback at the 1308/09 area. Took a lot of conviction to hold this trade for about an hour of being absorbed against the 10.5/11 level.

6:30a - ES open 1304.50. OS high 1305.5. OS low 1301.75. Rejection Rev
6:36a - ES long 1302 -0.5
8:10a – ES long 1309.00. +1.75/+4.25

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  #53 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
Experience: None
Platform: None
Broker: ADM and Sierra Charts
Trading: ES, CL
 
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Posts: 315 since Jul 2010
Thanks: 308 given, 448 received

1342 responsive sellers
1336 acceptance
1325 initiative buyers/responsive buyers
1317.5 acceptance
1301.25 rejection at previous acceptance

My main premise was to short a break at the open to target 23-25 and 2nd target 17-19.

So why did I not follow my premise for the morning? The first mistake was missing the break, and the second was compounding this error thinking that responsive buyers would step in. The tape confirmed the break but did not confirm responsive buying.

I think I just had trouble believing what was in front of me.

6:30a - ES open at 1329.75. OS high 1330. OS low 1329. OAOR
6:42a - ES long 1323.75 -2/-2
7:08a - ES long 1318.5 +1.5/-2/-2
8:02a – ES long 1315.0 -1.5/+2.25
12:09a – ES long 1309.00 -1.5/+0

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  #54 (permalink)
 eudamonia 
Sacramento, CA
 
Experience: None
Platform: None
Broker: ADM and Sierra Charts
Trading: ES, CL
 
eudamonia's Avatar
 
Posts: 315 since Jul 2010
Thanks: 308 given, 448 received

Yesterday and ON levels

1329 responsive sellers
1314.75 acceptance
1305.5 acceptance
1297 responsive buyers

Main premise was to short resistance zones at 08-10 and 15-17.

Once we held above the 08-10 level resistance became support and that was the premise for my second trade sequence for the day.

6:30a - ES open 1305.25. OS high 1307.25. OS low 1304. OAIR
8:05a – ES short 1307.25 -2/-2.25/-2.5
9:15a – ES long 1308.75 +1.75/-.25
11:02a – ES long 1309.5 +4.5

Main take away for the day was that risk control needed to be better on the 1st trade. 2nd and 3rd trade were managed well.

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  #55 (permalink)
 scrooge33 
Kennesaw, GA/USA
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: NT,TS
Broker: AMP, CQG
Trading: 6E, CL, ES
 
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Posts: 19 since Sep 2013
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eudamonia View Post
Ok let's assume this is true. Then if I am not making money as a trader I have no value and there is no reason to be trading other than $.

So today I had a losing trade. Am I not a trader?

Well you might say, "one trade is irrelevant".

So this month was a losing month. Am I not a trader?

Well you might say, "one month is not enough time".

So this year was a losing year. Am I not a trader?

How long will this perpetuate before the ego, the "I" in tradIng is destroyed? Will we not start to feel threatened, that our very being is under attack at the slightest drawdown? And will we not respond vigorously, doing everything in our power (like pulling our stop losses) to ensure that we never have a major losing streak? Where does this end? Probably when we've embraced our ego to the fullest and we "forced" the market to see things our way. And another account is destroyed, ego and confidence shattered (but still lurking in the background), and are we any closer to learning about ourselves? Is our sole focus on making money (the opposite of losing money) moving us any closer to success or pushing us further away?


Wow! Very well put.... Great choice of words! I sincerely felt your effort and meaning here. Point surely taken.

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