I often think that myself. I think this is an excuse I am giving myself, a diversion, suggesting that if my target were 5x my stop, THEN I could up the size with confidence. But really, the charts I use are fine, the analysis is good enough.

The confidence disappears as soon as the stakes get higher. Intuition is replaced by fear or greed, and without having confidence in my intuition, I am better off not trading.

I have a fairly quiet weekend, spending time really digging into this issue.

You know what it is... I got into trading because I had lost a LOT of money in something else. My career was gone, and trading offered the possibility to make everything whole again. And so, because of the factors that motivated me to study trading in the first place, I have this idea that I need to make a lot of money.

And maybe I could, if I were not afraid of it. But I am afraid at a certain point, not at one contract or so, but definitely as it climbs from there. And I already know from experience, if I am scared I do not trade well. And I am not ready to lose a lot of money

I can make money, slowly, but the pace is hard on me. I was reading about how negative experiences make time feel like it slows down, while positive experiences make it feel faster. Somehow that plays into this thought process I am in.

I should finish The Disciplined Trader today, and while it is tough to stay with at times, it is an interesting side to look at.

So I invented a persona of a Master Trader..someone who spoke differently than me..(I gave him an English accent). I then recorded little mini seminars in this persona describing my system, entry criteria..along with Trade Mantras..etc. I listened to this in my car and everywhere untill the character became a separate entity from myself.
Then when I would trade I would record a commentary..with this English accent..describing what the price action was doing..almost if I was on my own Trading show. When I would enter a trade, I would comment how I was going to be patient..how I wasn't afraid..and how getting stopped out would not upset me in the slightest. After about 2 months of doing this, I felt a real shift. I no longer got anxious in trades. I didn't get angry when I lost or got stopped out. Talking in that calm British accent somehow kept me calm. I got outside of my head and my
baggage. I still do this, by the way.

I know that is serious, and I can see getting a benefit from playing a role. But, I laughed so hard when I read that.

I will start practicing my English accent today. I am better at Darth Vader, or Daffy Duck, but those do not sound as reassuring.


I had some times in business where I was needing to get things under control, and without thinking I found myself emulating someone who was much older and more experienced than I was, and it worked. I still see that sometimes, but today it is more like impersonating myself in that situation.


From The Disciplined Trader;

"The second theme that provides a foundation for the belief system I am offering is that personal transformation, growth, and learning new skills are a function of self-acceptance. Your intent of learning a new skill or way of expressing yourself is in essence an attempt to create a new dimension of yourself. It is a goal you have projected out into the future that you will then attempt to fulfill by growing into it. "

I know. It sounds totally absurd...You should see the look on my girlfriend's face when I'm sitting at my computer wearing headphones speaking like Roger Moore playing 007. She's like, "Are you ready for your Tea and Crumpets?" "How about some Fish and Chips ? " Fortunately, she already knows I'm not normal.

Oh well..at least I made you laugh.

Since your experience is so similar to what I was going through, I thought I'd share some things . I will say upfront that this is going to sound very bizarre and should not be construed as advice . Just relating something that has helped me to overcome my fears.

I originally had a situation where I was getting very good results on Sim, but found that live I would get an overwhelming amount of adrenaline happen every time I went into a trade . Eventually it subsided to some degree, but when I tried to increase my size, I would get extreme flight or fight reactions. It happened so much that my blood pressure was getting elevated from all the adrenaline..plus the fact I couldn't get myself to hold a trade for any length of time. I also had a lot of psychological baggage due to losing large sums of money at one time. Needless to say, my trading wasn't working out.

I tried hypnosis . I found one of the best in my area and tried it for about 4 months doing two sessions a week. At $150 a session, it wasn't cheap . My goal was to try to rid myself of the adrenaline reaction so I could trade better. I even considered taking Beta blockers..to block the adrenaline..but I didn't think that would be healthy in the long run (although I still have some if there is a day where I really need them.) Anyhow, the hypnosis helped a bit. I stopped getting the racing heart everytime I entered a trade.

Then I decided to try something a bit strange. I knew the only way to trade well was to somehow eliminate all my baggage when trading. I decided to adopt an alter ego when trading. I had to literally become someone else that didn't have my flaws and issues. I have always been able to do different voices and accents well. I've done some
acting and comedy..along with filmmaking.

So I invented a persona of a Master Trader..someone who spoke differently than me..(I gave him an English accent). I then recorded little mini seminars in this persona describing my system, entry criteria..along with Trade Mantras..etc. I listened to this in my car and everywhere untill the character became a separate entity from myself.
Then when I would trade I would record a commentary..with this English accent..describing what the price action was doing..almost if I was on my own Trading show. When I would enter a trade, I would comment how I was going to be patient..how I wasn't afraid..and how getting stopped out would not upset me in the slightest. After about 2 months of doing this, I felt a real shift. I no longer got anxious in trades. I didn't get angry when I lost or got stopped out. Talking in that calm British accent somehow kept me calm. I got outside of my head and my
baggage. I still do this, by the way.

Perhaps you can find your own way of short circuiting your inner voices when in a trade..as well.

----------------------------
Hedvig can help @GaryD within 5 minutes; no charge?

Free too.

Personally I believe (this is my opinion) that @GaryD should go back on his anti-depressants

OR

Wait for it...



Get on Herr Doktor Hedvig's Magical Elixir!!!

GDT {Green Dragon Tincture} is perfectly potent enough to beta block his brain just enough without fogging his brain.

Titrate up over 2 weeks until you are completely zen.

Seriously! The only thing that is going to make @GaryD smoothed out (he is a control/obsessive/compulsive freak) is a steady supply of a mild psychotropic substance optimally used sublingually.

I am licensed in 2 states and I'll see if he is a qualified applicant/patient.

@GaryD is fighting his creative/artistic/subjective/intuitive trading skills with his obsessive/left-brained issues with money/regret/loss.

I can assist him in allowing balance between his right hemisphere and left in order to get syncronicity; it is going to take courage though.

When the patient is ready; Herr Doktor Hedvig Von DIKKeman appears.



peace

hedvig

----------------------------


Get on Herr Doktor Hedvig's Magical Elixir!!!

...

Seriously! The only thing that is going to make @GaryD smoothed out (he is a control/obsessive/compulsive freak) is a steady supply of a mild psychotropic substance optimally used sublingually.

@GaryD is fighting his creative/artistic/subjective/intuitive trading skills with his obsessive/left-brained issues with money/regret/loss.