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Catching Big Waves - a trader's journal of surfing the the markets
Gary, it seems to me you are analyzing your approach and situation way too much. Maybe because you can. You have a great house (even if 'not the right one'), fantastic & supporting wife and enough money to take your time.
I had that situation 3 years ago. I though I could have time to 'do it right'. Well, fast forward to today, I wish I would have just done it instead of planning to to do it. I was focused way too much of 'doing it right'. Based on my own hard experience, there is no right way to do it, just doing it consistently day by day. Trading is about confidence in yourself, your method, your stamina. Have your plan and execute it. You risk your money to make better money. Don't blame yourself about not making one month, focus always on the next day. Believe in yourself!
Again, thanks for sharing your journey with rest of us
My mentor used to smoke french cigarettes & had a daily cocaine habit.
Back then I had a daily drinking habit.
We were grown men and when we decided to get healthier each day we would admit we had a problem and we were made AWARE of it each day.
That is 50% of the battle because most traders won't come out the other side of the 'size' issue permanently.
Nearly all will permanently go back to their 'comfort' level.
Begin your day aware; review your day as if you already are trading size (after trading); end your day being aware and before you fall asleep imagine and play in your mind 'present tense' statements about trading size (be specific) and following your trading plan.
This is a process and it doesn't happen overnight. If it happens it is because you practiced with purpose. Those that don't never earn the right to trade size.
This is purely psychological and once the mind lets go of the constant feedback loop of $$$ and cents it is free to move to the next level.
Keep it slow and steady. Avoid making changes. You need to stay consistent long enough to be able to measure what is, and what is not, working for you.
It is natural to want to make a change when losing money. But you need to be trading small enough to not let the money get in the way of a proper testing and analysis phase (acquiring samples and analyzing results).
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That post was from April 10th--seems like a lifetime ago for us daytraders, right? lol
Does anyone think the last several days of price action is random? I am just one person but I know a couple institutional guys that have a nice hit rate. They told me last month that they and other large traders were short 1/3rd to 1/2 and after (if) CL were to break the $100 level and they will go full size {more short} on pullbacks going into the next 3-6 months.
In laymen's terms they told me that in April they noticed an intermediate term (daily) shift in trend from up to down to lower/neutral. If a break of $100--then macro would tilt down as well. That monthly (long term) swing low above $95.00 could come into play in the next 10 trading days. Lower mid 90's would be something significant (s/r).
It is working so far. Swingtrading requires a different skill set than daytrading--I recommend it to round out one's
toolkit.
The house I am in now is another listed for "short sale", just a temporary parking place. Long history in this house, and now, though my name is on the title, not really mine.
The wife, absolutely. She is actually starting to come around and have constructive conversations with me about trading issues. When I started, she was against it, but now is understanding it is a path I need to take, and accepts me in it. (Her best friend is actually starting to ask if I will trade for her too some day.)
I am not giving up on the size increase, just re-grouping. I used to watch tops in the ES, and always took the long expecting a breakout on the 3rd approach. Sometimes it just needs time to eat away at resistance, until that same element becomes the fuel for the push higher. This was my first push against resistance, I will back off, then make another run soon.
I agree with the analogy, and really am content with myself in seeing what I am doing. It sounds like a minor victory, but to me it is major. I added ChartNotes last night to a couple charts, shown at the top left.
If I can just get through this level, I really don't think the next step up will be as difficult. Today I traded 1-2 and finished up 120 ticks. Had I been at 2-4 I would be back to breakeven. While that is somewhat annoying in hindsight, I did not want to push on a Friday, after all the psychological drama I have put myself through.
I am not changing any charts or indicators, I am adjusting my approach to using them some, but more limiting than anything. Removed a couple setups from my list as I feel they are not worth it, for example. I do keep track of what is working and not, and the "not" is what I am eliminating. Some of the trades I take are just a waste of time when it nets out.
Thanks guys. I'll make it past this. The fact that I can size up and stay basically flat is actually comforting. The issues I am having are things I pay close attention to and visualize myself trading without them. I really believe that just seeing the problem is more than half the battle.
If May goes well, I will make another push in June. I am expecting that right now. I've made it this far, too close to give up now.
Yep. I heard a rumor that CL will be trading in June. And a trader can trade more than 2 contracts at a time if desired. So you have that covered! : )
Oh yea--you are in your early 40's; I suppose you have some more trading years in ya. Nice analogy of 'resistance' in trading size.
Frankly, if you weren't struggling with a size increase you would be a special snowflake. Most of us guys are just grinding out our edge with relentless repetitive and rigorous discipline.
I watched several hours of videos from Mark Cook, Larry Williams and others this weekend. Something I had not really focused on before when learning about well-known traders was the percentage drawdowns they discussed as being expected. Mark Cook's max down for the month (at the time of the video) was 15%, and for the year, 45%. "Greater risk, greater reward" was a comment he made. 45% is not a drawdown I am willing to experience today, but some of that thought process was helpful in putting my issues with sizing up into perspective. If I want greater rewards (profits of increased trade size), I have to be in acceptance of the greater risk (financial relevance).
