I don't follow gold so I don't know how it correlates with equities right now, but ES is close to LOD, found support just above it.. looks like GC picture is more bullish, while ES has been dragging down. ES should enter seller territory again soon.
The following user says Thank You to josh for this post:
No, one step at a time. It has been near torture for me the past few days; not trading, watching, waiting, not scalping, watching 30, 40, 50 ticks profit slip away to nothing, or losses.
I held tight all day, waited for price to break the previous high pivot (with at least one of the two contracts). I did good today. Tomorrow I may hop on again on the train to 1830, but for now I rest.
Like going to the gym, I worked my trading psychology hard and deserve a break. Next time I will be more comfortable as I build my endurance.
Josh, to go against what I know works for what is behind door #2 is possibly harder for me than when I traded with no knowledge at all. The amount of the profit was not a big deal today, but the method behind it was excruciating for me. I have learned to survive in trading by being fast, chosing entries well, bailing on losers quickly. I am working so hard to become a solid swing trader and am forcing myself though some uncomfortable spots, but really it is not that big of a deal. I MAKE it a big deal.
I could still be in a winning trade, but can't do it, not at 2:45pm EST. It goes against my prior training. Holding that trade for nearly 5 hours was way outside my norm and I feel so much weight lifted being flat again, even though the heat I took was very brief and I have been sitting in the green for hours. I was not relaxed, and that is not good.
I am a wuss for being afraid to make a larger profit, for being afraid to hold through the close, for setting my sights on 70 ticks instead of 700 or 7000. I create my own limitations. And I complain to myself as I poke at my own beliefs.
Hopefully gold will retrace now, having completed it's mission for the day; blowing the stops above the high pivot. If not, I'll have to deal with that tomorrow... lol
Yeah but like you said, one step at a time... Rome was not built in a day and neither are good swing traders I imagine The mental distress you feel is personal growth, I expect. Personal growth is always very uncomfortable. But next time I'll bet it won't be quite as hard because you've been through some of it.
The following user says Thank You to josh for this post:
I see myself as a mediocre trader when I look at where I am versus where I want to be, or how I trade versus how I think I should trade. If I had the ability to do what I think I should, I would have gone long on a buy stop when gold broke the triangle and set my stop at below the potential wave 4 low. That would have me in this gold trade at 1697, with ZERO heat, and sitting up 270 ticks per contract.
I was afraid to take the trade because it occured on a Sunday night, in low volume, and I have been taught not to trade when I cannot watch or do not think I can read the conditions as they manifest. That is ego, believing that my ability to read the market minute by minute is better than letting what happens, happen. And it does not produce better results, despite how much I believe otherwise.
In reality, on this gold trade, today was a net 128 tick gain, but since I have been following this trade I took a 2x90 tick loss, so am still down on my pursuit of a wave 5. What really makes it tough, if I would stick to trading CL like I believe I can, a 30-40 tick loss is about my max, and history suggests I would be net up, not down, over the same time period.
IF reward to risk is what I truly am seeking, I have proven to myself numerous times that if I could trade my own analysis I would do better overall from a reward to risk basis.
There was a trade I mentioned on futures.io (formerly BMT) about a Wave C forming in crude awhile back in a different thread.
I struggled with that for days, and ultimately could not do what I believed in, only to watch it rise to my target over the next several weeks. What I wanted to do was set my stop below the low of wave B, set my minimum target as a minimum expectation for wave C, and turn off the computer.
I have lived through similar scenarios in many markets and many chart patterns, enough to where it has started to build up as a form of subconscious resentment to some degree. Forget wherther I am making money or not; I cannot follow my own advice when it comes to swing trades. That, in some form, is weakness.
If I want to make money, I perform worse than if I want to trade well. So I am fighting myself in an effort to trade well first, make money second. And I strongly feel I need to stretch my personal limitations and my view of the market. Until I can find harmony with myself, profitable or not, I still have some work to do.
Thanks for the support and the conversation. It's like having an online therapist. Seriously, just typing out this drama of my journey is therapy, whether anyone reads it or not. If I was alone typing in my journal, which I have done many times, and then close it for only me to see; that is not as effective.
I was going to quit posting altogether on futures.io (formerly BMT) because it was interferring with my trading, or so I thought. It really does, if I was trying to scalp. That type of trading takes lazer-like focus, split second decisions. Hard to take a break to save a screen image.
Then I realized that keeping a journal, and then keeping it private like a diary, afraid to have anyone see my inner secrets, was allowing for a completely different mindset than what I decided would be good for me at this point in my education. For me, at this point, leaving it out for the world to see makes me work through things from a different perspective. This thread has become a part of my journey.
And so my report to the universe for today; I was a wuss! I need to work harder at allowing trades to be free! I need to believe in long drawn-out wins! Tomorrow I can do better!
I crack myself up sometimes. Let me know what I owe for today's session.
Last edited by GaryD; November 29th, 2011 at 03:49 PM.
Reason: typos / thread link