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Catching Big Waves - a trader's journal of surfing the the markets
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Catching Big Waves - a trader's journal of surfing the the markets

  #4671 (permalink)
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But, simultaneously, I am negotiating contract potential with two entities about my involvement as qualifier in construction and/or development business. I am drinking more water per day than is even possible, due to restroom break time constraints, in a corporate environment, and I feel more full of testosterone since when it first faded, and was noticeable.

My decision to become a full time trader was about a full leap of faith. More "knowledge" than most, read however many books, finally thought, ricochet. Fuck "knowledge". We lost an ability somewhere along the way of progress. And as cycles go, and they always will, the most forgotten ability that is a casualty of "convenience" may have lost it's place in "reality", but not in the real world.

History says evolution wipes out the weaker genes. So does trading.

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HFT in a nutshell

Ultra-fast, the robotic arm can catch objects on the fly - YouTube

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For whatever reason, I just went short at a long setup. I recognized it pretty much immediately, do not really recall the time from recognition to closing the trade.

I am working on responding to situations with no thought, and something impulsive (related to fear of missing a move or at least similar to that), caused me to pull the trigger, instinctively in the wrong trade direction.


Last edited by GaryD; May 16th, 2014 at 12:21 PM.
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I am in an interesting place in year 1 ,..., my numbers, suck this year.

As long as you have come out positive you're doing great especially considering this is your first year. Most people think coming out with a gain in the first year is close to impossible. Most veteran traders on the forum would say if you can maintain break-even status the first year trading regularly you're way ahead of the majority and will most likely do better and better in subsequent years. there comes a point where you have to give yourself a break and congratulate your effort for putting the courage in to making the transition.


Last edited by Itchymoku; May 17th, 2014 at 02:11 AM.
 
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GaryD View Post
[IMG]
For whatever reason, I just went short at a long setup. I recognized it pretty much immediately, do not really recall the time from recognition to closing the trade.

I am working on responding to situations with no thought, and something impulsive (related to fear of missing a move or at least similar to that), caused me to pull the trigger, instinctively in the wrong trade direction.

I struggle with this MOST. I however find good progress happens in baby steps, when I am mindful.

Defeating the Ego through Self Awareness | | L2ST BlogL2ST Blog

(was posted by @RichardHK elsewhere in this forum)

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  #4676 (permalink)
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Itchymoku View Post
As long as you have come out positive you're doing great especially considering this is your first year. Most people think coming out with a gain in the first year is close to impossible. Most veteran traders on the forum would say if you can maintain break-even status the first year trading regularly you're way ahead of the majority and will most likely do better and better in subsequent years. there comes a point where you have to give yourself a break and congratulate your effort for putting the courage in to making the transition.

A positive year end is really not even my top priority. This is technically year 6 coming to an end, year "one" for when I closed my company to do this.

I am working on some things I know are keeping me from trading the way I have always wanted to. For me, some of that includes pushing some of my own buttons, dealing with some of my own issues sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. If I get through this year by doing nothing but completing the exorcism...

I am happy, no worries, no stress, feeling great, laughing daily. Life is good.

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I hit a point with my mentor where I was told "trading is not a team sport", or something like that. Said to me in a context that was intended to send me in a direction, or so I believe. It felt mildly confrontational.


And I felt that I got it, and said "OK, I'll be back". And I left. Knowing that I owe more to that person that to anyone else when it comes to trading, and that is even as I know I cannot show why in numbers as of today.

There is a mindset that melds with experience. And that specific balance point is where I have set course to. Money is becoming irrelevant. As it should be. And in that, perception is taking a very abrupt turn.

"Thinking" has been a four-letter word for almost a year. And I may be seeing why. The more obvious is that I am feeling it.

I posted something to facebook recently about how others might interpret sanity vs understanding, posted with sarcasm as that is what I find funny. But in that I also saw something that continues to pull on me as if gravity.

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@mattz can attest to my level of insanity though... LOLOL!!!

 
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But, I have my course.

I have found myself testing almost every "limit", in one way or another. Like a true and complete reversal back into a mentality where everything is ok and nothing is known, analogous to the first time experience of "being thrown from the nest", or any expansion of independence...

And, many times more intense, my wife is adopting my theory. Almost as if recognizing each other from some time previous. An out-of-balance, to one extreme or the other, of seeing each other.

And I always heard trading there is the whole point?

I just asked her, as we were in passing, "sex in the kitchen?", she said, "ok". And we both laughed, and agreed it was a great way to think but not a necessity. But I am going back to that now, as I feel silly talking about it. Smoke em if you got em kind of feeling


Last edited by GaryD; May 18th, 2014 at 11:27 PM.
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