In a long discussion yesterday by telephone with @Surly, something came up that I had not thought of before. I am too tired mentally to get into it now, but just using this post as a placeholder. It has to do with instinctual wiring, and how it is backwards for trading.
I wonder if I ever have been this aware of it? How often am I aware of it? My thoughts came to rest on those questions at some odd moment in self-thought. The tension I was feeling. Like a rigid board. My neck, shoulders, back, stomach...
And it occurred to me that might be how I normally feel? Normally?
I dropped my shoulders some. Lower. Loose. Interesting that it required to occur in steps...Rolled my head from side to side, allowing it to stretch out the muscles as it did.
I am saying that I live tense, and that I just tonight saw it a little closer.
The easy thought; make a regular schedule for a massage. But that would become just another appointment, another thing to fit in. What I need is more space, between the fibers of my being.
Where does tension, stress originate from?
Analytical behavior was my number one thought, but I almost instantly understood that just feeds some energy somewhere else. Analytical is not the cause of tension.
Fear of being wrong might be. But fear of what exactly? What happens if I am wrong? Not death. Not imprisonment. Losing money maybe. As one who went through a bankruptcy, I know a lot of ways to feel about losing money.
But fear of being wrong is not the origin of tension either.
This feeling I have, this body posture existed years ago, probably the majority of my career. And it was useful for the goal I wanted to achieve. And I need to find a way to get my body to relax when I am not thinking about it.
Stress starts with a deadline, I believe that much.
How would you be if in this very moment, with total and complete sincerity you knew, (which is beyond feeling it or believing it or thinking it) that you had , now and in every living moment from here on, everything you need, desire, wish or hoped for?
To be clear of what I'm saying, that you actually had everything now within your being.
This is not about owning stuff or any particular thing, it's not about what you want or had...non of that... but about a knowing that you have, now, everything you need...
[@GaryDan additional line to my original post] in that "need" is replaced by "require", and want is replaced by "aquire", such that we can then experience and create in the sense of experiencing love and life and create our intensions from the knowledge that we have, already, now, everything we require from which we can aquire our intensions..
How would that be (feel like) for you ?
Perhaps a question to ponder.
no rsvp necessary if you prefer.
I don't want or intend to interfere with your thought process here Gary.
I feel your strength. I mean that sincerely.
Something has indeed shifted within you (if it's not an intrusion to say so) and for the better imo..
Every moment I wake up I realize I know nothing, and then I smile...
Last edited by zt379; October 2nd, 2012 at 06:30 PM.
Reason: additional sentence to original post for clarity of meaning...and spelling
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Military School. It was not an everyday topic, but my parents brought it up more than once as I grew up. never went. They used it as a threat, to redirect my behavior. No different than any other tactic a parent might use, better than many. But what they wanted me to establish was boundaries and discipline.