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Catching Big Waves - a trader's journal of surfing the the markets
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Catching Big Waves - a trader's journal of surfing the the markets

  #3731 (permalink)
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Even comning into this up market, and first desire was to short. Crazy from some perspectives. I think that is part of what keeps me from the leap of faith. There is nothing to hold onto other than, faith, gut. While I love it, something about it feels scary to bet my entire future on. I am hoping that will change though, and working on it. It is not about trading, it is deeper.

 
  #3732 (permalink)
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GaryD View Post
maybe some day I will reverse instead

In a youtube video of a lecture by Jack Schwager, he said something like 'loyalty is good in life; in trading, it's terrible' ... meaning of course, be willing to see different angles and perspectives. I can do this on the same day, but reversing from long to short and vice versa is a feat that I have only been able to do a few times ever. It's just so contrary to human nature to switch sides so quickly.

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  #3733 (permalink)
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Rough week. That max down hurt me. I should not have traded, knowing my head was fucked up with the heart attack, 4 hours sleep many nights, just a bad attitude, and then tried to pick a top. I should know better, I do know better, but that means nothing sometimes.

Traded 43% profitable. Net 19 ticks on the week. Amazing I finished up at all, really didn't after costs. That one max down day made all the difference in net, but my numbers were bad regardless. I think I am upset with myself for pushing trading off, driving myself too hard to do everything well, exhausted from different time zones...

 
  #3734 (permalink)
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Broadening on a 6 range.




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Harder to see on the 15m, but this is where I actually first spotted it today.

 
  #3735 (permalink)
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josh View Post
In a youtube video of a lecture by Jack Schwager, he said something like 'loyalty is good in life; in trading, it's terrible' ... meaning of course, be willing to see different angles and perspectives. I can do this on the same day, but reversing from long to short and vice versa is a feat that I have only been able to do a few times ever. It's just so contrary to human nature to switch sides so quickly.



I don't think I have ever hit "reverse". Seems reckless for some reason. The thought was in my head from "Trading in the Zone', he uses the word several times.

 
  #3736 (permalink)
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Big Mike View Post
In my last "real job", VP of a company, long hours, lots of stress --- nearly every single day on my drive home I would have such a massive migraine I had to pull over to the side of the road some days, because I was about to puke and couldn't stand it.

This happened ALL THE TIME.

Stopped happening almost day 1 after I quit the job.

Stress has enormous impacts on the body and mind.

Mike

I know, I live it. I handle it well, no headaches, no nausea, calm in chaos. I was drininking with a close friend years ago, and said something like, "I am the kind of guy you would want to be in a disaster with". lol! Cocky maybe, but what it meant was ,I just kind of let things be what they are, but then manage appropriately. Even if I know it sucks the whole time.

But I know stress goes somewhere inside me. I am not impervious, just resilient.

 
  #3737 (permalink)
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Big Mike View Post

Stopped happening almost day 1 after I quit the job.


Mike


That is where you are braver that I am today. It was weird, I just posted this week that I wish I would get a push, but doubt I would like whatever it was. Then I listened to your webinar and heard you had a push, and did not necessarily like it.

There is one guy I have met here who seems to have been born into it. Great way to start, from what little I know. Family support, belief support, mentor/friend environment, young age, fits his personality. The rest of us seem to have some undoing to do.

 
  #3738 (permalink)
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GaryD View Post
I know, I live it. I handle it well, no headaches, no nausea, calm in chaos. I was drininking with a close friend years ago, and said something like, "I am the kind of guy you would want to be in a disaster with". lol! Cocky maybe, but what it meant was ,I just kind of let things be what they are, but then manage appropriately. Even if I know it sucks the whole time.

But I know stress goes somewhere inside me. I am not impervious, just resilient.

LOL, it is interesting you say that. Here is an email I just received:


Quoting 
Big Mike, thank you for your phone call today! ALWAYS nice to hear from you… you are always so calm and relaxed…I need to take some chill lesson from you brother.

I think in my old day job I would appear to manage the stress well. I never really thought of myself is stressed. But the body clearly knew better, it was trying to tell me with the headaches, and I never really appreciated that or realized as crystal clear as once they stopped almost immediately after quitting the job. You would think quitting would be a cause of stress, but in fact, it was an enormous relief!

Mike

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  #3739 (permalink)
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Big Mike View Post

I think in my old day job I would appear to manage the stress well. I never really thought of myself is stressed. But the body clearly knew better, it was trying to tell me with the headaches, and I never really appreciated that or realized as crystal clear as once they stopped almost immediately after quitting the job. You would think quitting would be a cause of stress, but in fact, it was an enormous relief!

Mike


It would be easier for me to justify if I had any symptoms. But, that is just another push I do not want.

I know it is affecting me, just can't pinpoint it.

 
  #3740 (permalink)
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In trading performance numbers, this was possibly the worst week I have had in a year. Low 40% wins (NT closed), hit max down by taking a trade I knew I shouldn't. And yet I finished slightly up. Winners larger than losers was the only thing that could save me this week.

I really believe I am disappointed in myself for keeping on taking new work. I am looking at San Antonio, New Jersey, another near Boston, one in New York... I started back into business and have built it to something solid, and when I went in I had nearly the same drive I did at age 25, but now, just not loving it. Looking at what I fought to achieve and wanting to walk away in it's prime. My big losing day came in the middle of a supervisor's hospital stay, adding a feeling of having failed him, and questioning why I was possibly walking the same path. I have read about things like that causing poor trading, but, that wouldn't affect me... We probably all think that at times. " I am fine ".


I am enjoying Colorado, particularly how the trading hours work here. I was out of the house by 10:30am. I like the people, the scenery, the lack of humidity. Having a hard time with the oxygen, not sleeping well, always out of breath.


Last edited by GaryD; August 17th, 2012 at 08:03 PM.
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