As the final step in becoming a full-time trader, I will be phasing out my journal here on futures.io (formerly BMT). I have thought about this a lot, and this journal has become such a part of me. Particularly posting trades, that has little value to me anymore. I know what I do.
I have always found I do better trading by myself than with any outside influence. Many times I feel I should not even read the news, just watch, wait, the market will say what it is doing if I will just listen.
I am about 6 weeks out from the full move. I am nervous, scared, emotional about it still at times. I am a guy who was destroyed once financially, and a part of me says "just get a job, play it safe". A part says I am past the point of surviving on speculation. But there is another part that refuses to accept that without one more good run, one more chance at seeing nothing but opportunity and facing the future with no fear.
I have learned that my success has more to do with my confidence and my acceptance of the unknown than it does any technical analysis, but without the understanding of technical analysis I would never have anything to believe in, so the two are not separable.
I have learned to communicate better with my wife and friends about what I do, how I feel about it, this journal has been instrumental in allowing me to gather my thoughts so I can understand what issues I am dealing with, and thus better able to explain myself to other people in my life.
I have learned that I would choose hard work and struggle with the promise of potential over a paycheck and 401k plan, and that even considering letting go of that part of me is something I see as giving up on myself.
I came into business with nothing. I had a dream, a sharp mind, relentless work ethics, and no fear. I set small goals that were achievable in near term, and tracked my progress on those as they related to the bigger picture. I plan to go forward with my trading with exactly the same approach. While it is hard for me to separate the failures that were attached to my past career, I have spent an incredible amount of time thinking about it, and I would not have lived any other way. Truly "lived".
Posting my thoughts and trade analysis here has been very insightful. I had commented just this week that crude looked so weak compared to everything else, and when it let go, it was gone. I still see 78, but it may may take it's time, or could reach it before the close today. I'll never know those types of things. I do not need to.
One of the things I will miss the most when I stop posting is the company it has given me. But I am seeing that this journal also causes me to spend far too much time on trading, and not enough time getting out and doing. This journal has also helped me to see that I never went into business the first time because I wanted to work, I wanted freedom, I wanted to able to enjoy life, and my approach was to get there as fast as possible. But this time, trading is not going to be a race.
The time I feel I will need to spend is becoming less and less. I expect to be able to make enough to be on track in far less than 30 hours a week (only after having put in 80 hours and more for 5 years, and enough money to have put myself through medical school).
I have several friends who keep asking me if I will trade for them, two more just in the past week. I tell them when I am ready, that I still have some issues to work out. But I look forward to doing that someday. I already have my attorney picked out.
I finished my trading today before noon, met with some friends, talked with my wife. I saw another short trade and just watched it come and go. There is always another, and I had other things I wanted to do. And that, in my mind, is the final step. Start putting the machine in reverse, back out of all the unnecessary stuff, and live.
So, I head out today, black shirt with a skull & crossbones, like a pirate's flag on my chest, something I adopted when I moved to the Keys thinking I had retired. I had one on my truck, our boat, my mountain bike, our mailbox. We lived on Jolly Roger Lane. Not like Blackbeard, more like a Jimmy Buffet pirate was the attitude.
"Made enough money to buy Miami...", not quite, but a lot. "Pissed it away so fast", kind of I guess... Having values implode and loans called sure seemed like a lot less fun.
At the end of July this pirate will be looking at 44, and a whole new adventure awaits. I would not want it any other way.
Last edited by GaryD; June 21st, 2012 at 02:18 PM.
Reason: Nearly a year and still no spellchecker
The following 12 users say Thank You to GaryD for this post:
@GaryD, congratulations for sharing your journey with us, and for now continuing in your own way down the new path.
See you around!
Due to time constraints, please do not PM me if your question can be resolved or answered on the forum.
Need help? 1) Stop changing things. No new indicators, charts, or methods. Be consistent with what is in front of you first. 2) Start a journal and post to it daily with the trades you made to show your strengths and weaknesses. 3) Set goals for yourself to reach daily. Make them about how you trade, not how much money you make. 4) Accept responsibility for your actions. Stop looking elsewhere to explain away poor performance. 5) Where to start as a trader? Watch this webinar and read this thread for hundreds of questions and answers. 6) Help using the forum? Watch this video to learn general tips on using the site.
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The following user says Thank You to Big Mike for this post:
I am not saying I expect to wake up and buy, but that I am looking for something to say "try it". I have no idea where price will be in a few months, and can provide a good argument for $40 as easily as I could $100, so trade safe and know nothing. I am just a buyer if the zone holds, and if volume supports it, but to target 100 it needs to break 86 first.
This zone is major support, volume confessed, the move down was very lengthy, and tomorrow is Friday. But, further continuation is not out of the question, nor is a whipsaw rangebound day. We may also wake up looking at $70, different story.
The following user says Thank You to GaryD for this post: