Sorry, misread as an earlier issue. I don't know how either, tried once, decided not necessary.
I believe in visualization, just differently. I started the day with my altered spreadsheet showing last month's results, but with two contracts, to get myself acclimated with what it might feel like, and did that at least 5 times yesterday. I think about the numbers, feel that nothing has changed.
Actually, I don't know about a short. The major resistance zone runs all the way up to the 105.70 area. That may be tomorrow's trade.
I hit it for +8, done. I wanted another $12 to round off a number. It was a stupid reason to take a trade, but the stops blew on high volume, in a resistance zone, and price stopped. The long side was the correct side until major resistance, and I know better.
I sometimes get what I refer to as passive revenge, or reverse revenge. It is a hidden version of revenge trading, and do not really cost a lot in new dollars for me, but they often turn out to be activity with not much to show for it, or a small loss.
Last month when my internet went out I had a case of it. Hit the mouse just because it was there. I closed it, and gave up $20 + a RT, but the revenge part opf me made the entry before I could stop it. Today I did it again. I did not hold a long like I wish I would, and a current issue I am working with involves fear of a trade turning around on me. I learned to survive by scalping, and that training is not letting go without a fight.
So today I took a 20 second short for 8 ticks, after I already said true resistance was possibly 50-60 ticks higher (orange zone versus red zone). While that scalp has been on my list of known trades in the past (the rules include it must be in resistance, and the move must have taken out local stops before I will enter), today it was just reverse revenge. I was up on the day, but not up as much as I could be. And I had been going over a lack of confidence issue in my mind for the past 4-5 days.
I mentioned I may take the trade before it occured, which was good to be aware and not just blindly pulling the trigger, but then doubted myself and typed that out here as well. When the moment came, I made a split-second decision to not have doubt. Bang, short, closed. Made the trade, yes, but solved nothing. That is not the place where I lack confidence.
Last edited by GaryD; April 2nd, 2012 at 03:46 PM.
Reason: more info
Mostly I took that last trade because I seemed to be afraid of it and am challenging that emotion some. Obviously the better time to do it would hve been early this morning, but I felt off balance somewhat just rolling my Qty to 2, and keeping it there. So I picked a far worse place to prove something to myself, but it was after the pressure of the day was off me. I was net up regardless of what the outcome was, and I need to face that emotion head on when I get the opportunity. That was not the best opportunity, but I could not really get hurt, and that seems to step up the comfort level.
I started the day with a loss, tried to pick the long up just a little early. I would have had a wider stop, had I been in 1 contract, so that threw me off right out of the gate this morning. Down $490.00 to start my new trade size. Great confidence builder...lol!
But, I hung in there with it, and continued to make back the loss and finish the day up a total of 103 ticks. It did feel a little too good to get back in the green, and that is why I believe I jumped ship so early after the reversal. Even though I knew it was a potentially significant turn, and did not see any resistance until the 104-50 zone, emotion is everything, again.
One step at a time. And even with 2 contracts, one penny a day.
Last edited by GaryD; April 2nd, 2012 at 03:27 PM.
Reason: quick scalp
I decided to do an intense cleanse of the body and the mind to reach a higher level of clarity. I am nearly fasting, but with enough food to keep me from losing it. I have better answers to your questions than I did before, but the questions seem backwards to me tonight.
What is it within you that is wild, that you need certainty has been tamed ?
I came to trading needing money, and had to learn to forget about that so that I could learn how to trade. When the focus shifted to money, I did poorly. I don't know exactly what that was, or is, or how much of that might still exist inside me, but I eventually discovered if I confined myself to a single contract, over and over and over, it went away. And I did pretty good.
What, specifically, are you confused about?
How do I step up while not thinking about the money? To pursue the goal of stepping up, what motivation would there be, other than making money?
I kept a spreadsheet open on another computer today, with last month's records distorted to appear as if I traded 2 contracts. When I found myself down today by $490.00, I was about to stop, as $500 is typically my max down (not max drawdown, max negative for the day). But looking at the past make-believe performance, I had been down more than than in a day before , and realized that just became $1,000 if I am going to play along. So I geared up for another trade, kept my size at 2, and pulled off the comeback today. It was easier feeling like it was just another day of trading, and being down "$250.00" was far from being out of the norm. I still had plenty of headroom. I made myself believe that nothing had changed. I wasn't completely buying it, but it certainly made it easier.
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