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Life sacrifice loneliness trading futures

  #1 (permalink)
zetsurin
canada
 
Posts: 2 since Jul 2020
Thanks Given: 16
Thanks Received: 9

Is it worth it for me to continue this dream?(long post, non technical related question)

For anyone/trader who will take the time to read my experience, I appreciate it as this is the first time I share my personal life on the internet because I am depressed.

Should I continue trading and chasing the million dollar dream?
I grew up with a trader father, and all I ever heard from his mouth growing up was money, and the markets. He was rich and went broke when I was 8 years old. He was so confident in his skills that he was sure he would someday bring us back to the more comfortable side of life. Naturally, hearing nothing but trading, combined with growing up living in poverty and immense stress for a teenager, I decided then, I would do it for myself because I don't belong in this impoverished neighbourhood. Fast foward from the space of age(25-30) I have made every single sacrifice possible to save money and keep retrying. I lived in the hood, I never bought a car, I finished university but still decided to work only night jobs to be available for the volatile mornings. I havent gotten a girlfriend because I dont have confidence that I wont let a family go through what I went through, even though I am desperately lonely. All that just to maximize my savings in order to keep funding an account. I havent lost much, but I haven't made much gains either so far. At age 31, I have no friends(close friends), no confidence to build a network( I dont even have a car), no girlfriend obviously, when I look in the mirror, I am decent looking, and healthy, and good with women. But why am I in this predicament.. that eats me away. My father is sick, and gave up his confidence in trading. I have my trading method, but my motivation is 20% of what it was 4 years ago. Mainly due to my age, and the desperate desire to have human relationships (Even though I tell myself its sacrifice, it's mostly shame of my living environment).

Please share your opinions, should I keep trying until I am 40? I have 30000 ish in savings, buying a house in cash and creating a happy family is a dream I share with many people. However, I don't know how risky it is to devote my next decade to hardcore trading. I might end up in the same situation, or slightly better by 40 if I do pursue this. If I quit, I probably will have to join the debt prison and take out loans like people to start a life. In return, I have someone to hug, but I will never be wealthy. I am confident in my trading skills over the long haul, the P&L will be positive and continue to magnify, but currently, I am 31, and alone, with a sense of regret of the people I sacrificed to do this. Because I haven't succeeded.

Please share your thoughts if you were in my shoes, would you keep chasing this million dollar dream. I can't express my gratitude for those of you who spared your time to read. Thanks

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  #2 (permalink)
 
xplorer's Avatar
 xplorer 
London UK
Site Moderator
 
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zetsurin View Post
Is it worth it for me to continue this dream?(long post, non technical related question)

For anyone/trader who will take the time to read my experience, I appreciate it as this is the first time I share my personal life on the internet because I am depressed.

Should I continue trading and chasing the million dollar dream?
I grew up with a trader father, and all I ever heard from his mouth growing up was money, and the markets. He was rich and went broke when I was 8 years old. He was so confident in his skills that he was sure he would someday bring us back to the more comfortable side of life. Naturally, hearing nothing but trading, combined with growing up living in poverty and immense stress for a teenager, I decided then, I would do it for myself because I don't belong in this impoverished neighbourhood. Fast foward from the space of age(25-30) I have made every single sacrifice possible to save money and keep retrying. I lived in the hood, I never bought a car, I finished university but still decided to work only night jobs to be available for the volatile mornings. I havent gotten a girlfriend because I dont have confidence that I wont let a family go through what I went through, even though I am desperately lonely. All that just to maximize my savings in order to keep funding an account. I havent lost much, but I haven't made much gains either so far. At age 31, I have no friends(close friends), no confidence to build a network( I dont even have a car), no girlfriend obviously, when I look in the mirror, I am decent looking, and healthy, and good with women. But why am I in this predicament.. that eats me away. My father is sick, and gave up his confidence in trading. I have my trading method, but my motivation is 20% of what it was 4 years ago. Mainly due to my age, and the desperate desire to have human relationships (Even though I tell myself its sacrifice, it's mostly shame of my living environment).

Please share your opinions, should I keep trying until I am 40? I have 30000 ish in savings, buying a house in cash and creating a happy family is a dream I share with many people. However, I don't know how risky it is to devote my next decade to hardcore trading. I might end up in the same situation, or slightly better by 40 if I do pursue this. If I quit, I probably will have to join the debt prison and take out loans like people to start a life. In return, I have someone to hug, but I will never be wealthy. I am confident in my trading skills over the long haul, the P&L will be positive and continue to magnify, but currently, I am 31, and alone, with a sense of regret of the people I sacrificed to do this. Because I haven't succeeded.

Please share your thoughts if you were in my shoes, would you keep chasing this million dollar dream. I can't express my gratitude for those of you who spared your time to read. Thanks

In a nutshell, I believe it's about values and what you personally value the most. If you have enough introspection to ask yourself certain questions (e.g. what skillset do I have, what direction do I see/prefer my life to go, etc.) you will know, deep down, the answer already.

Here's a great article about this


You probably know to ask yourself, “What do I want?” Here’s a way better question

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  #3 (permalink)
 tr8er 
Europe
Market Wizard
 
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Leave trading as fast as you can. You are young, have a good education and your whole life ahead of you.

Your life till now was "trading-driven" and if I read your posting correct, you never have been happy with this situation. I love trading, but there are so many way more important things as trading.

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  #4 (permalink)
 
bobwest's Avatar
 bobwest 
Western Florida
Site Moderator
 
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zetsurin View Post
Is it worth it for me to continue this dream?(long post, non technical related question)

...
Please share your thoughts if you were in my shoes, would you keep chasing this million dollar dream. I can't express my gratitude for those of you who spared your time to read. Thanks

Well, of course I can't say what you should do.

I can say that what you have been doing is not working -- I can say this simply because that is what you said.

One simple thing is to notice that most would-be traders do not make it. Certainly, most do not become wealthy. On the other hand, most people who have regular jobs do reasonably well. I am not advising you to abandon trading, nor to abandon your dreams. I am advising you to change something. For instance, you probably can find some pathway that leads to a satisfactory income and a better life in a material sense, which what you are doing has not done so far. You may then find a way to also manage trading, in a situation that is less harmful to your health and happiness. Most traders have done something of this sort, and they are in much less extreme circumstances because of it.

To put it simply, waiting for the trading miracle to happen and lift you up has not worked out too well. Continuing to do what is not working probably will not change anything. Look for another way to do it, or for something new entirely.

I absolutely don't mean to be discouraging. I do mean to counsel being real about all this.

One aspect of being real is to recognize that only a few traders will become self-sufficient financially. You can then decide whether you want to continue or not. If you do, you can also then decide what changes you will make to your life to make that pursuit more likely to succeed.

Simply based on what you have said, it is clear that persisting as you are doing is not the answer for you. Persistence is essential for anything, but it is not enough.

I hope you find a change that will work for you, and I wish you good luck with it.

Bob.

When one door closes, another opens.
-- Cervantes, Don Quixote
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  #5 (permalink)
 planetkill 
New York City + NY/United States
 
Posts: 343 since Sep 2018
Thanks Given: 105
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If you're confident in your ability to make money, and the only thing that is holding you back from making a lot of money is time and small account balance, then why don't you borrow as much money as possible from banks? Max out credit card cash out offers, unsecured personal loans, etc. Is your return higher than the interest?

Worst case you lose all of the borrowed money, declare bankruptcy, and start your new debt prison life, possibly with someone to hug.
zetsurin View Post
Is it worth it for me to continue this dream?(long post, non technical related question)

For anyone/trader who will take the time to read my experience, I appreciate it as this is the first time I share my personal life on the internet because I am depressed.

Should I continue trading and chasing the million dollar dream?
I grew up with a trader father, and all I ever heard from his mouth growing up was money, and the markets. He was rich and went broke when I was 8 years old. He was so confident in his skills that he was sure he would someday bring us back to the more comfortable side of life. Naturally, hearing nothing but trading, combined with growing up living in poverty and immense stress for a teenager, I decided then, I would do it for myself because I don't belong in this impoverished neighbourhood. Fast foward from the space of age(25-30) I have made every single sacrifice possible to save money and keep retrying. I lived in the hood, I never bought a car, I finished university but still decided to work only night jobs to be available for the volatile mornings. I havent gotten a girlfriend because I dont have confidence that I wont let a family go through what I went through, even though I am desperately lonely. All that just to maximize my savings in order to keep funding an account. I havent lost much, but I haven't made much gains either so far. At age 31, I have no friends(close friends), no confidence to build a network( I dont even have a car), no girlfriend obviously, when I look in the mirror, I am decent looking, and healthy, and good with women. But why am I in this predicament.. that eats me away. My father is sick, and gave up his confidence in trading. I have my trading method, but my motivation is 20% of what it was 4 years ago. Mainly due to my age, and the desperate desire to have human relationships (Even though I tell myself its sacrifice, it's mostly shame of my living environment).

Please share your opinions, should I keep trying until I am 40? I have 30000 ish in savings, buying a house in cash and creating a happy family is a dream I share with many people. However, I don't know how risky it is to devote my next decade to hardcore trading. I might end up in the same situation, or slightly better by 40 if I do pursue this. If I quit, I probably will have to join the debt prison and take out loans like people to start a life. In return, I have someone to hug, but I will never be wealthy. I am confident in my trading skills over the long haul, the P&L will be positive and continue to magnify, but currently, I am 31, and alone, with a sense of regret of the people I sacrificed to do this. Because I haven't succeeded.

Please share your thoughts if you were in my shoes, would you keep chasing this million dollar dream. I can't express my gratitude for those of you who spared your time to read. Thanks

Sent using the NexusFi mobile app

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  #6 (permalink)
 
ninjus's Avatar
 ninjus 
Chiang Mai Thailand
 
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planetkill View Post
If you're confident in your ability to make money, and the only thing that is holding you back from making a lot of money is time and small account balance, then why don't you borrow as much money as possible from banks? Max out credit card cash out offers, unsecured personal loans, etc. Is your return higher than the interest?

Worst case you lose all of the borrowed money, declare bankruptcy, and start your new debt prison life, possibly with someone to hug.

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Yeh don't do that.


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  #7 (permalink)
 planetkill 
New York City + NY/United States
 
Posts: 343 since Sep 2018
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I don't see why not. Isn't trading with other people's money the most common method of funding trading?

A hedge fund using mostly other people's money blows up, and the managers face reputational damage. You blow up with the bank's borrowed money, and you face the same thing in the form of bankruptcy.

If a trader is consistently profitable, and has 100% belief in their edge, and the only thing holding them back are the years required to grow their small account, then I don't see why using leverage in the form of other people's money a bad idea.

Specifically in OP's case, they have very little assets. With little to lose, it seems the upside is much greater. Again, only assuming they are consistently profitable already, which OP writes towards the end.


ninjus View Post
Yeh don't do that.

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  #8 (permalink)
 giftedmd 
Memphis, Tennessee
 
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I can tell you from experience that dealing with feelings of loneliness and depression will sap you of every ounce of motivation you have to make progress in your life. You must have a strong support system to walk a different path from those around you. The good news is you only need one person. A good friend, family member, or significant other. They dont have to be on the same path as you but the key is they must help you feel like the BEST version of yourself. If they dont then you need to let them go. Life is short and having the wrong people around you is worst than being alone.
Money and success is nothing without someone to share it with. Work on yourself. Everyday try to become a little bit better version of yourself than you were the day before.
When you are in the right place mentally and emotionally, you can then do the work it takes to achieve your dreams. The universe will give you whatever you want if you are willing to give everything you have to give to achieve it. But you must first lay the proper foundation.

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  #9 (permalink)
 
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 Anagami 
Cancun, Mexico
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In your present mindset, you cannot win.
Stop trading.
Start another career.
When you feel great, and are under no pressure to make money, come back to trading part-time, trading sim.
It might help you to do a 10 day vipassana meditation retreat, or to work the Sedona Method. Both are great at helping people process issues.
All the best, brother.

You are never in the wrong place... but sometimes you are in the right place looking at things in the wrong way.
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  #10 (permalink)
 
Anagami's Avatar
 Anagami 
Cancun, Mexico
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Also, if I may add this, you seem to have a belief that trading is the only way to become wealthy. This is of course, completely false. There is virtually an UNLIMITED number of ways to make lot of money out there. There is no shortage of money in the world. Start hustlin'.

You are never in the wrong place... but sometimes you are in the right place looking at things in the wrong way.
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