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...your life is over. It's not. I have recovered from worse if you can believe it. I found I just can't trade short time frames. Successful w/ Daily charts. Seek the Lord w/ all your mind, heart, soul -- he's real, he loves us -- don't listen to hard-boiled know-it-alls ... very few can follow even their most basic trading advice (trade small, be picky re entries, don't be greedy) since nobody even remotely has a clue in this world ... seek your manufacturer while there' still time. All are slaves -- be a slave to Him.
As a longterm, very stupid trader (me, not you), my heart goes out to you! I've done it, many, many people have done it.
First of all, take a deep breath! Just breathe. It's happened to most people. Jesse Livingstone, the greatest trader that ever lived, went broke four times being right on the market.
Second, even if you are homeless for a while, you will get through this. In fact, although I hesitate to say this, this might be the greatest lesson you've ever had as a trader. I have many friends how have been homeless for awhile and survived. However, there is bankruptcy in your country, no? Maybe that will be an option.
YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!!
I lost all my trading account numerous times in many years from the same exact thing you did, building up carefully, then getting greedy and betting all. I am that stupid. I now have some basic rules that work for me, with the little bit of money I have left. And in the past year I've built it up - from $400 to $1,300!!! Experts tell me not to trade with less than 10,000, believe me-I've made fortunes from $400 before and I will do it again. And this time I will keep it.
And so will you.
After the umpteenth time I lost my account, I had to sit down, look at myself and decide if I really loved trading so much that I was willing to do it my whole life and not be very good at it. And the answer was a resounding yes. I have depression like you, so that makes it harder for me, I also am not very good at math, which makes it harder. So that's when I sat down and wrote my basic rules (preservation of capital was the foundation of most of the rules, obviously).
When you start trading again, don't ever trade on margin. Find out the worst times of the day for your trading and don't trade during those times. Also, if you have depression, start charting your moods and see if there is a pattern. That's even more important than writing down trades for people like us. I don't trade the first hour of the market, it's the most vulnerable time of day for me as someone with depression.
Please start a daily meditation program, I can't stress this enough. There is a thread here just for that. It's terrific. If you need to, go to Gambler's Anonymous, you can still do that, and be a trader. Elder has a book called Trading for a Living, he talks about compulsive trading and how to work around it. So does Martin Steenberger (sp?).
Please continue to reach out and ignore the judgments on the board. It comes from ignorance.
PM me if you need to. Maybe we can start an accountability buddy system together when you start trading again.
...and finally blew his brains out in a Manhattan hotel cloakroom in 1940, after being unable to reclaim his former glory, penning a note that read: "I am a failure.", among other things.
I think trading is a lot easier when it's just one thing among many in one's life... not the 'only' thing.
You are never in the wrong place... but sometimes you are in the right place looking at things in the wrong way.
But then tragedy struck. He was in the North Tower on 9/11. The last wrinkle is obviously tragic, but I think ironic, in that it helps me to remember that money can be replaced, but some other things can't.
Hey,
I'm sorry about all this shit but you can recover and it is worth spending some time just reassessing where you are. Pete Davies, of JigsawTrading says that when such stuff happens, which is does to everyone at some point, you should spend the next 2 weeks just watching the market, without trading. I also recommend you look at his free training webinars, at JigsawTrading.com, where he teaches order flow, which is the only way to go. You are not alone in fucking up royally. The good news is it is possible to recover. Good luck
Each one of us has to make a decision as to what type of life wants to live and then plan a strategy to achieve that lifestyle and, to stick to it regardless of temptations and new desires.
Maybe the following share will be helpful to someone (that's my ego seeking gratification through hero status, I am aware), since my method works for me.
I decided to have peace of mind.
I realized that peace of mind was achieved instantly when I was out of the market and not in a trade. I realized, too, I love trading but, being in a trade even when it decisively went in my favor did not bring peace of mind. Only excitement, greed for more and nervousness about loosing what the market had already given me filled my mind giving me unrest.
So I decided to be a day trader and to watch and trade only one instrument at the time. No more long term positions or even swing trading for the day. I studied hard what my chosen indicators told me and I became good at reading them and anticipating what the market would do next and go into a quick position and out. I said good, not perfect. Some days I have to struggle more than others.
Secondly, or I should say Firstly, I stick to two principles.
1) The principle that a small bird in hand is worth a flock in the air and, more importantly,
2) BIHAW....”BIRD IN HAND ALWAYS WINS”.
Please note the underscored ALWAYS.
I take small winnings at the time, based on the market's behavior at the moment and I get out. Then wait for the next opportunity or simply close the platform.
I trade one to three hours a day, everyday, from 5am to around 8am, Pacific time and perhaps another hour later in the day and then I am free the rest of the time.
I also seek consistency in the color of my day and not how much money I made. Green means I made money, red... don't even think of it.
If I am green I don't care about how much I made, just that it is another green day to add to my records of consistent green days.
In oct 1994 I entered a long overnight lean hog trade. It went limit down, and I lost $400. I thought it has to up from here. It didn't. I developed/discovered all kinds of algorithms to justify my holding the position as it continued to go down. Even put money into the account to meet the margin. Despite my 7 years futures speculation experience, I did everything wrong.
After holding the damn thing for 3 months I sold. It was (you guessed it) right at the decade's bottom (jan 1995)! The lean hogs shot up right after that. What was supposed to be an over night couple of $100 trade ended in a +$2000 loss!! No more commodities for Tyler Durden!!!
Then next 3 years I felt terrible about it. I just paper traded. I also maxed out my company's stock buying program. Can't go wrong, because I knew what was going on at my company. The CEO declared a bunch of inventory obsolete for the quarterly report so the stock dropped. It was even lead story on CNBC. I couldn't sell because I was considered an insider, and in 24 hours through no fault of my own, I lost $40K.
Punch line is, don't feel bad about losing that $2000 anymore.
The CEO dumped his shares before the report and got charged with insider trading. He also got the boot.
What you were doing was pure gambling. Gambling is fine, if you only gamble with your play money. It could be fun even if you lose.
Trading news is a specialized skill. To be able to react quickly to the fast moving market post-news, you will need to have the right setup. Also, whatever you trade, it is absolutely critical to control the risk of each trade. Get into the habit of thinking about what would you do if the trade goes AGAINST you, not just fantasize about how the trade will be in your favor.
Trading manually requires great mental focus. You really shouldn't be trading if you have a lot of other stressful things going on in your life, unless you do automated trading or mechanical trading.
As others have pointed out, trading a volatile binary outcome with high leverage and no protection is a sure fire way to ruin. You might have gotten lucky this time, but one of those times it will inevitably get you.
In the grand scheme of things, $40k is really not that big amount for a lot of people, and with the right mindset and technique, you should be able to make it back. But get back to trading only when you are ready, financially, mentally, and good luck.
