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My family says trading isn't work.


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My family says trading isn't work.

  #41 (permalink)
 mzelixon 
Tel Aviv, Israel
 
Experience: Intermediate
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What am I supposed to say to my grandfather when he says trading is PART OF MY MENTAL ILLNESS and that I belong in an INSANE ASYLUM for even thinking I can make a living off it?

What, I still can't call him a fucking twat for that little remark? Please.

I don't give a fuck anymore I'm just doing what I need to do to get this thing off the ground.

But the last thing I'm gonna do is kowtow and say "ohhhh you're so right oh wise old man" when he tells me things like this.

Call it foolish, call it arrogant, call it what you want.

All I know is that it's SO IRRITATING and I can't deal with views like this regarding trading when I have spent 100's of fucking hours working out a trading plan, strategy, screen time, etc.

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  #42 (permalink)
 mzelixon 
Tel Aviv, Israel
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: NinjaTrader
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Trading: ES, CL
Posts: 66 since Mar 2014
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I think I'm done with this thread because while half of the people on here are telling me good things the other half are saying I'm an ungrateful little shit who should appreciate the remaining time he has left with his grandfather.

So who knows.

All I know is I'm coming to trading to improve my life, I can't have the people closest to me telling me I'm putting all this hard work and effort in vain.

You guys can tell me whatever you want though lol.
Yeah... good times.

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  #43 (permalink)
 
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 wldman 
Chicago Illinois USA
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Say, I understand grandpa. Can you tell me what it is about that activity or about me personally that you do not believe in? Ask him to share his experiences with you so that you can understand his perspective. Listen to what he says.

If he is rational and knows anything about either subject see if you can discover what conditions or what scenario would need to be true for him to have a different opinion. Consider those things.

Explain to him, not why you think he is wrong, rather what steps you are willing to take to make it. Describe your business plan and what specific actions you are committed to and at what point you would consider altering your path. Be specific with goals and place a time frame on their attainment. Ask for his blessing to follow your dream.

Remove yourself from any type of dependence (financial or otherwise) on the family and follow your plan. Can you do that? If you are committed, you still might never make it. MANY smart and disciplined people don't make it in trading. If you decide to move forward keep in mind that staying in the game may be looking at the market on your break from another job. It may mean working at something else all day long and struggling to get one or two trades in while everyone in your time zone is sleeping or out with friends. Be on the look out and jump like a madman at any opportunity or break you might get. Be relentless in pursuit of your dream. Welcome detractors, love that they care, be patient in affliction (most of the time) and be humble in victory.

I have two pairs of shoes in my closet that are not mine. My grandpa's shoes have holes in the soles...ones that he patched with cardboard and duct tape. Though he died with just under a million bucks, those shoes are testimony to an ethic. Make due, use it up, find a way or go without. The other shoes are the slippers my dad had on when he died. I keep those as a reminder to stay humble...that no matter what I do, it is in large part due to the people that taught me and motivated me. Some shoes are too big to ever be filled.

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  #44 (permalink)
 
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 MiniP 
USA,USA
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wldman View Post
Say, I understand grandpa. Can you tell me what it is about that activity or about me personally that you do not believe in? Ask him to share his experiences with you so that you can understand his perspective. Listen to what he says.

If he is rational and knows anything about either subject see if you can discover what conditions or what scenario would need to be true for him to have a different opinion. Consider those things.

Explain to him, not why you think he is wrong, rather what steps you are willing to take to make it. Describe your business plan and what specific actions you are committed to and at what point you would consider altering your path. Be specific with goals and place a time frame on their attainment. Ask for his blessing to follow your dream.

Remove yourself from any type of dependence (financial or otherwise) on the family and follow your plan. Can you do that? If you are committed, you still might never make it. MANY smart and disciplined people don't make it in trading. If you decide to move forward keep in mind that staying in the game may be looking at the market on your break from another job. It may mean working at something else all day long and struggling to get one or two trades in while everyone in your time zone is sleeping or out with friends. Be on the look out and jump like a madman at any opportunity or break you might get. Be relentless in pursuit of your dream. Welcome detractors, love that they care, be patient in affliction (most of the time) and be humble in victory.

I have two pairs of shoes in my closet that are not mine. My grandpa's shoes have holes in the soles...ones that he patched with cardboard and duct tape. Though he died with just under a million bucks, those shoes are testimony to an ethic. Make due, use it up, find a way or go without. The other shoes are the slippers my dad had on when he died. I keep those as a reminder to stay humble...that no matter what I do, it is in large part due to the people that taught me and motivated me. Some shoes are too big to ever be filled.

You are 100% correct, I think in @mzelixon case he needs a few more years to wise up. For those of us who have lost loved who were very close, we have a much different view on things like this.. Once you lose a father/grandfather things are much much different and no matter what we say, some people have to learn the hard way.


-P

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  #45 (permalink)
 
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 wldman 
Chicago Illinois USA
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Hey @MiniP

Yeah man. Here is the thing. There are at least two big issues working in the thread. I chose to connect them consistent with my own experience because they both speak to my view of "what it takes" to trade in a consistent and meaningful way.

Whining over what other people think, even your parents or grandparents, is NOT a hallmark of success. Airing out personal grievances with loved ones in a public forum also is a harbinger of certain disaster in a ultra competitive and possibly high stakes arena.

I was hoping to get a few things across with my posts here. But, with respect to the TS, I have failed. He "is done" with the thread he started, just today, because he is not satisfied with the input that came his way. Rather than accept some introspection and evaluate for remedy...he quit.

So how is that mental state going to jibe around the buoy when a one lot is a single handle against the deposit. It was the market. It was the broker. It is my internet provider. The dog was barking etc.

All this talk of family against it is simply preface justification for failure in a way that offsets the responsibility. Do the work, make the trades. If counting takes longer at the end of each month, nobody alive will object to the endeavor, period...not ever, as long as integrity and social order are maintained.

I wish that guy...and everyone all the best in their trading and their lives.

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  #46 (permalink)
 
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 Massive l 
OR/USA
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mzelixon View Post
They all think it's gambling and they want me to just straighten out and go work a normal 9-5 job.

Trading is work.
Its fucking work.
Its just online work.

And if thats TOO SMALL FOR YOUR PEA BRAIN TO HANDLE THEN DONT SAY A FUCKING WORD.

Seriously they make me so angry you have no idea.


If you're making $$$ then who gives a shit? It is gambling though...educated gambling.

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  #47 (permalink)
 
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 tturner86 
Portland, Oregon
 
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MiniP View Post
You are 100% correct, I think in @mzelixon case he needs a few more years to wise up. For those of us who have lost loved who were very close, we have a much different view on things like this.. Once you lose a father/grandfather things are much much different and no matter what we say, some people have to learn the hard way.


-P

You can warn people about the sidewalk, but they will never understand until their face smacks it. Just human nature.

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  #48 (permalink)
 mzelixon 
Tel Aviv, Israel
 
Experience: Intermediate
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Broker: Ninjatrader
Trading: ES, CL
Posts: 66 since Mar 2014
Thanks Given: 61
Thanks Received: 86


wldman View Post
Hey @MiniP

Yeah man. Here is the thing. There are at least two big issues working in the thread. I chose to connect them consistent with my own experience because they both speak to my view of "what it takes" to trade in a consistent and meaningful way.

Whining over what other people think, even your parents or grandparents, is NOT a hallmark of success. Airing out personal grievances with loved ones in a public forum also is a harbinger of certain disaster in a ultra competitive and possibly high stakes arena.

I was hoping to get a few things across with my posts here. But, with respect to the TS, I have failed. He "is done" with the thread he started, just today, because he is not satisfied with the input that came his way. Rather than accept some introspection and evaluate for remedy...he quit.

So how is that mental state going to jibe around the buoy when a one lot is a single handle against the deposit. It was the market. It was the broker. It is my internet provider. The dog was barking etc.

All this talk of family against it is simply preface justification for failure in a way that offsets the responsibility. Do the work, make the trades. If counting takes longer at the end of each month, nobody alive will object to the endeavor, period...not ever, as long as integrity and social order are maintained.

I wish that guy...and everyone all the best in their trading and their lives.

I think I'm honestly agreeing with everything that has been said to me.
I do realize that some of my latest posts (maybe every post I put in this thread) has been emotionally charged ranting.
I'm not going to blame anyone for my success or lack of success in trading... including my family.
I guess I wanted to get a certain point across but... maybe I got caught up in my own ranting.

I do appreciate everyone's responses on here.
It doesn't matter who says what... the bottom line at the end of the day is the trader.
And no, I won't blame my grandfather for anything.

Especially when I blew $2,000 in a week trading crude last month.

So I guess I don't know the exact point of my thread was.
Of all the problems in the world... mine are pretty small and I realize I just used this thread to whine.

But that's not the kind of person I wanna be anyways so I guess I apologize for the ranting/complaining.

I haven't really ever used this site to talk with fellow traders.

But I appreciate your 2 cents because I'm sure I've been wrong about more than one thing in this thread.

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  #49 (permalink)
 
ollie's Avatar
 ollie 
St. Petersburg, Fl
 
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Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive as your words become your behavior.
Keep your behavior positive as your behavior becomes your habits.
Keep your habits positive as your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive as your values become your destiny.


Don't let anyone steal your joy and don't let anyone's preconceived ideas be inflected on you.



Mike

Keep things as simple as possible, but no simplier. Albert Einstein

If you can't explain it to an eight year old it's to complicated
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  #50 (permalink)
 mzelixon 
Tel Aviv, Israel
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: NinjaTrader
Broker: Ninjatrader
Trading: ES, CL
Posts: 66 since Mar 2014
Thanks Given: 61
Thanks Received: 86



ollie View Post
Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive as your words become your behavior.
Keep your behavior positive as your behavior becomes your habits.
Keep your habits positive as your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive as your values become your destiny.


Don't let anyone steal your joy and don't let anyone's preconceived ideas be inflected on you.



Mike

This!!!!

Thanks so much

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