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My family says trading isn't work.
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My family says trading isn't work.

  #31 (permalink)
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Grantx View Post
Out of the billions of people on planet earth that don't give a f*** about your existence, there exist a handful that love you and care for your future. You have just failed your family in a most shameful way.

If you think you can trade then do it without the hissy fit. The market will give you everything you deserve, I promise. But NEVER talk bad about your family like you did with your little rant in the first post. It's a sign of extreme immaturity and a reflection of your own petty insecurities regarding trading.

Go spend some time with them. Hug them, have a laugh, thank them for supporting you, be grateful because they wont be around forever.

Not to make assumptions but not everyone's family is that great. Some people have extremely abusive parents/relatives that will never understand where he/she is coming from. Is this the case here? I don't know, but I have encountered people who have to deal with this situation when there dream is to do something else besides what there parents have have been expecting for the past 20 years. This doesn't make anyone a bad person we should all do what we want, and if this is the case I would suggest to keep the trading to your self and try and spend time with your family in a positive way.

BUT.. this isn't your parents dream its YOUR's and you shouldn't expect people to support you. When I stopped trying to force the people closest to me to have my same opinion and dreams things got a lot easier, its not that I think they don't care for me they just see the world differently and I keep some of the information to my self. Its really that simple... and if things get really bad then add some distance.


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  #32 (permalink)
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Guys,

YOU ALL KNOW how important psychology is in this game.

My biggest issues is when I'm in front of the screen and all I hear in my head is my grandfathers voice saying
"What are you doing? This will never work! You're a gambler! You're sick! You have a disease"

I CANNOT TRADE WITH THIS TYPE OF NEGATIVE SHIT IN MY HEAD OK ?

Call me crazy lol I don't care...
Well. You'd join my grandfather in calling me so.

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  #33 (permalink)
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I almost feel like my grandfather WANTS ME TO FAIL JUST SO HE CAN SAY "ha! I was right"

Well how about "no? fuck you you're wrong and let me do my thing?"

Something along the lines of that.

I know it seems rude and immature but I haven't been able to convince him otherwise.

The best I can do I think is shut his voice out of my head and let my money do the talking.

Maybe deep down he wants the best for me but it sure as hell doesn't seem that way.

Trading or no trading.

Oh and the fact that I suffer from depression and anxiety on a regular basis doesn't help any of this either.

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  #34 (permalink)
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mzelixon View Post
I almost feel like my grandfather WANTS ME TO FAIL JUST SO HE CAN SAY "ha! I was right"

Well how about "no? fuck you you're wrong and let me do my thing?"

Something along the lines of that.

I know it seems rude and immature but I haven't been able to convince him otherwise.

The best I can do I think is shut his voice out of my head and let my money do the talking.

Maybe deep down he wants the best for me but it sure as hell doesn't seem that way.

Trading or no trading.

Oh and the fact that I suffer from depression and anxiety on a regular basis doesn't help any of this either.


I'm sure lots of people here suffer from anxiety and or depression but YOU need to work to change whats going on, stop expecting your family to support you. Cherish your time with your grand father and hustle in the dark.

Trading is the hardest shit you'll ever do if you let one persons opinion sway or effect you then this might not be your game... everyday people are here to take YOUR money they don't give a shit about what you feel or whats wrong with you... fix your inner self THEN trade your going up against some of the smartest people/algo's in the WORLD. If your not tip top you will have issues, make sure your house ( house is you and where you live) are in order before playing the game.


-P

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  #35 (permalink)
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This...

begins to state the direction I was going on this...only in a way more empathetic way.

Work, can obviously mean many things...it is subjective. Sterling results may not change grandpa's mind. What he is right about though is that you will most certainly fail. How you respond to the failures WILL absolutely determine who you become as a trader. Using how you respond to people that love you and want you to do well and live well as a guide does indicate that you are not yet cut out for a "career" built on taking risk in the most competitive environment on Earth.

Amend your thought process or you will break the hearts of people that love you. Learn a little respect. If that sounds foolish to you, like I'm the idiot...please trade ES.


Grantx View Post
Out of the billions of people on planet earth that don't give a f*** about your existence, there exist a handful that love you and care for your future. You have just failed your family in a most shameful way.

If you think you can trade then do it without the hissy fit. The market will give you everything you deserve, I promise. But NEVER talk bad about your family like you did with your little rant in the first post. It's a sign of extreme immaturity and a reflection of your own petty insecurities regarding trading.

Go spend some time with them. Hug them, have a laugh, thank them for supporting you, be grateful because they wont be around forever.



Last edited by wldman; August 6th, 2018 at 12:09 PM. Reason: spelling
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  #36 (permalink)
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MiniP View Post
I'm sure lots of people here suffer from anxiety and or depression but YOU need to work to change whats going on, stop expecting your family to support you. Cherish your time with your grand father and hustle in the dark.

Trading is the hardest shit you'll ever do if you let one persons opinion sway or effect you then this might not be your game... everyday people are here to take YOUR money they don't give a shit about what you feel or whats wrong with you... fix your inner self THEN trade your going up against some of the smartest people/algo's in the WORLD. If your not tip top you will have issues, make sure your house ( house is you and where you live) are in order before playing the game.


-P

You know what you're right.
There's no use in blaming my grandfather for having an opinion. That's all it is.
I agree with you that yes... I've been struggling with my inner self for quite some time.
But yes. I suppose ranting about his opinions like an angry school boy isn't the solution.

The solution is just to work on myself and I guess realize that whatever opinions my grandad has are only to help me... in his view anyways.

This is good. Therapeutic almost.

Thanks for at least seeing my side, but also for helping me view the situation in a clearer light.

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  #37 (permalink)
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mzelixon View Post
I almost feel like my grandfather WANTS ME TO FAIL JUST SO HE CAN SAY "ha! I was right"

Well how about "no? fuck you you're wrong and let me do my thing?"

Something along the lines of that.

I know it seems rude and immature but I haven't been able to convince him otherwise.

The best I can do I think is shut his voice out of my head and let my money do the talking.

Maybe deep down he wants the best for me but it sure as hell doesn't seem that way.

Trading or no trading.

Oh and the fact that I suffer from depression and anxiety on a regular basis doesn't help any of this either.

You cannot use trading as an endeavor to prove your worth. You may eventually, but proving yourself right or PnL should not be your focus. Instead focus on the process and trading plan. Focus on starting a journal, post your end of day analysis and plan for next day. Focus on developing an edge in the market. Look deeply inside and see the real reason you want to trade. Decide for yourself if you have to get a side job to raise capital. Market will be there, when you are ready. Pickup some form of personal development technique, practice mindfulness , bit of meditation, learn to allow thoughts and feeling pass without causing anxiety and depression.

Trading is the best practical form of personal development technique out there, it exposes all your flaws, unless one is willing to work on it, it will be hard to succeed.

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  #38 (permalink)
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mzelixon View Post
You know what you're right.
There's no use in blaming my grandfather for having an opinion. That's all it is.
I agree with you that yes... I've been struggling with my inner self for quite some time.
But yes. I suppose ranting about his opinions like an angry school boy isn't the solution.

The solution is just to work on myself and I guess realize that whatever opinions my grandad has are only to help me... in his view anyways.

This is good. Therapeutic almost.

Thanks for at least seeing my side, but also for helping me view the situation in a clearer light.

You need to either keep a very honest journal or find a friend/spouse but get that shit out of your head if you don't it will be toxic!

In my excel journal it has very very honest thoughts/feelings on whats going on throughout the day. I don't always share that journal because it is slightly more personal but a public journal will help you a lot. These guys might come off as mean people but the majority will gladly help out if you ask and you put in the work.

-P

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  #39 (permalink)
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I respect...

@mzelixon for not being defensive towards encouragement that comes across a little harsh. That is a good sign for you.

All I wanted to do when I was young was make my dad and my grandpa proud of me. They both died when I was 27. I started in finance as a retail bond salesman 4 years prior. I was hired through the back door and it was very clear that nobody cared...I could leave out that back door anytime I wanted. On my first day I sat in the front seat of the front train car for the trip home because I did not want people to see my crying. I left a job like the one your grandpa wants you to get.

I could have decided that I made a mistake. I could have given up on my dream. I chose, in that hour long commute, that I would never surrender. One error that decision was predicated on was the notion that my dad and my grandpa would be impressed when I made it "big"... at that time the goal was a five digit after tax pay check.

I did like my dad taught me. I was the first guy in, the last guy to leave...every damn day. I identified people who had what I wanted and I tried to learn everything I could from them. The crying was not limited, in fact, oft repeated as I adjusted to 100% commission, zero benefits and zero clients. Duct tape inside my shoes kept the water out. My grandpa told me one day, that since I started flipping his CD's to bonds that he was making 4 times his last "employment" income. He had no idea what or if I was making any money. The thing he could not stop talking about was that I had figured out something that the bank couldn't and that I was helping people like him gain piece of mind. He'd call my mother everyday to say how proud he was and what a good job her and my dad did raising me. Thing is, duct tape was still holding together more than my shoes.

A short time later it was discovered that my dad had cancer. When I'd show up to visit the first thing he'd say is, "Are all of your responsibilities taken care of...shouldn't you be at the office?" Payday came on a Thursday. Checks got issued at 5pm. I was on the 5:17 train to visit him in the hospital with a net paycheck of $11,528. I wanted to thank him...and show him. His room was at the end of the hall. From the elevator I saw that it was dark. Dad had died at about the time that check was placed in my hand.

I stayed swallowed up in my work for 16 years, till my son was born. I overcame attribute to become an achiever. 9/11 through August month end my hit to net liquidation was staggering. It took a few years to regain "walking away" money...but I'm still in the game. The stakes are way lower now, but vocationally I still identify as "trader"

The point: sometimes it takes a while with me...is this. I'd give you every cent in my account and I'd give you every dollar I ever made, ever...to sit at a table with my father and my grandfather for fifteen damn minutes and the chance to tell them how great they were, and how much I love them.

The pursuit of money is a game of fools. When you understand that it is only money and you can always get more of it you will be prepared to take risk. Be open and learn. Expose yourself to everything you can. Retain what is valuable and be prepared to work in earnest to learn and gain extreme discipline. Discard what you cant use and avoid emotional snags that are not specifically productive. Yeah, it's work. The hardest most unglamorous shit you can imagine at times...but with extraordinary effort and some luck, you can master it.

Win the day, even the days where you did not make money...there lay the valuable lessons.

Today, sit with your grandpa, because you can. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Dan

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  #40 (permalink)
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wldman View Post
The point: sometimes it takes a while with me...is this. I'd give you every cent in my account and I'd give you every dollar I ever made, ever...to sit at a table with my father and my grandfather for fifteen damn minutes and the chance to tell them how great they were, and how much I love them.

Today, sit with your grandpa, because you can. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Dan


Dan, having lost loved ones close to me, you ripped my heart out with this one... thank you for the reminder.

Take heed, folks, you can never get them back.

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