Thanks for all the replies so far. Gave me a lot to think about and also sort of a wake up call that things can't continue like that forever.

I think i will give it one more shot on monday, because this university term is almost over and I can't catch up with everything i missed this whole time.



But I will try to maintain following changes:


1. I will treat it like the funded Account. So following the scaling plan and so on. And if it takes more than 15 days to reach the evaluation target, so what? Better than crashing it once again.


2. I will always trade the same contract size no matter what. 2 contracts and not a single one more.


Someone on reddit wrote this and this sums up my "rules" perfectly:
"Start treating rules like rules. You very obviously think your own rules don't apply to you. There's no reason for you to call them rules if you constantly ignore them. You don't have rules, you have "light suggestions"."


3. Therefore I will start the daily loss limit on Sierra Chart to automatically flatten my positions once I reach 750$. Maybe I will still do some stupid "Revenge trades", but at least I can't lose 4000-5000$ in 2 days like before.
So it would take me 5-7 losing days to reach the amount I managed to lose in just 2. Which should definitely be an improvement.


4. Following my rules means I can't continue entering trades that are not in my playbook and don't fit my style. I need to sit on my hands more. Taking trades that are not on my playbook, like the emini long I took yesterday, end in failure 90% of the time and only 10% go in my favor.



Things I might change, still thinking about that:

A: I might change my trading hours. Maybe I will start when the American Markets Open instead of the London Open. Maybe this makes me more concentrated. Still not certain about that one, because now I will try to be more selective with my Trades and there are some really good opportunities during the overnight Session. I remember some days where my only Trades where during that session and none during the US Session.


B: I have seen, that there are several trading discords. Maybe I will join one of them and keep posting each Trade. With other people watching it might help me be more disciplined.

@Salao
"In my own experience, these type of days will occur when a small mistake becomes exacerbated by an ensuing slew of mistakes that are made in an attempt to correct the first mistake. Similarly to you, I will take trades that were outside the scope of what I normally would do. Sometimes this would pay off and I would get back to break even, other times I come away with profit. Other times...epic disaster. This behavior lead me to take a real look at how I respond to adversity while trading. Basically I've found that the initial mistake somehow justified abandoning my plan. I become more impulsive when faced with adversity. And the real root cause of this...my intense loathing of the dreaded down day. I am now attempting to get comfortable with the idea of a normal-sized-loss-day...spaced at an appropriate frequency."

That almost sound 99,9% like my reasoning. When I take a dumb trade I usually don't try to take a normal trade to correct it, no I go for another trade which is not in my playbook and try to correct the first mystake. Because minus times minus results in plus right? That's what happened that day i managed to take 15 trades in Oil during the first 3 hours. First one was a stupid small loss and I asked myself: "Why did you take that trade? There was no reason to take it. Let's see if I can try another trade to at least erase the previous loss." Which ended in another loss and it got out of control.

Slade9 

Thanks for all the replies so far. Gave me a lot to think about and also sort of a wake up call that things can't continue like that forever. I think i will give it one more shot on monday, because this university term is almost over and I can't catch up with everything i missed this whole time. But I will try to maintain following changes: 1. I will treat it like the funded Account. So following the scaling plan and so on. And if it takes more than 15 days to reach the evaluation target, so what? Better than crashing it once again. 2. I will always trade the same contract size no matter what. 2 contracts and not a single one more. Someone on reddit wrote this and this sums up my "rules" perfectly: "Start treating rules like rules. You very obviously think your own rules don't apply to you. There's no reason for you to call them rules if you constantly ignore them. You don't have rules, you have "light suggestions"." 3. Therefore I will start the daily loss limit on Sierra Chart to automatically flatten my positions once I reach 750$. Maybe I will still do some stupid "Revenge trades", but at least I can't lose 4000-5000$ in 2 days like before. So it would take me 5-7 losing days to reach the amount I managed to lose in just 2. Which should definitely be an improvement. 4. Following my rules means I can't continue entering trades that are not in my playbook and don't fit my style. I need to sit on my hands more. Taking trades that are not on my playbook, like the emini long I took yesterday, end in failure 90% of the time and only 10% go in my favor. Things I might change, still thinking about that: A: I might change my trading hours. Maybe I will start when the American Markets Open instead of the London Open. Maybe this makes me more concentrated. Still not certain about that one, because now I will try to be more selective with my Trades and there are some really good opportunities during the overnight Session. I remember some days where my only Trades where during that session and none during the US Session. B: I have seen, that there are several trading discords. Maybe I will join one of them and keep posting each Trade. With other people watching it might help me be more disciplined. @Salao "In my own experience, these type of days will occur when a small mistake becomes exacerbated by an ensuing slew of mistakes that are made in an attempt to correct the first mistake. Similarly to you, I will take trades that were outside the scope of what I normally would do. Sometimes this would pay off and I would get back to break even, other times I come away with profit. Other times...epic disaster. This behavior lead me to take a real look at how I respond to adversity while trading. Basically I've found that the initial mistake somehow justified abandoning my plan. I become more impulsive when faced with adversity. And the real root cause of this...my intense loathing of the dreaded down day. I am now attempting to get comfortable with the idea of a normal-sized-loss-day...spaced at an appropriate frequency." That almost sound 99,9% like my reasoning. When I take a dumb trade I usually don't try to take a normal trade to correct it, no I go for another trade which is not in my playbook and try to correct the first mystake. Because minus times minus results in plus right? That's what happened that day i managed to take 15 trades in Oil during the first 3 hours. First one was a stupid small loss and I asked myself: "Why did you take that trade? There was no reason to take it. Let's see if I can try another trade to at least erase the previous loss." Which ended in another loss and it got out of control.

I share similar experience and have blown up accounts exactly the way you’ve described. I used be more like you but after a few months of trading I have gotten better. I still do the same exact mistakes but less often.
I started with TopStep Trader and got funded after a few resets. I was even able to withdraw $1000 but blew up the account in less than a month because of some stupid mistakes, taking less than ideal trades and doubling down hoping to break even, even worse, not closing the trade when break even reaches only to see NQ move 40 points against me.
I then set up a rule to stop trading when half of daily loss limit is hit. But guess what, I wouldn’t stop trading when that happened. Making our own rules is easy but adhering to them is extremely hard.
I see guys like you and I have some edge when it comes to day trading futures but inability to control risk defeats us.
What’s important for us is to come back and be able to sit and watch the chart until it screams to take the trade. But we wouldn’t, we would wait even more and take the next trade, the ideal trade.

You currently have an opportunity to get a good education that'll help you in life, whether you end up trading for a career or not. While some of the specifics you learn in university may not help with trading, the discipline and learning to learn is critical for success. Furthermore, if trading doesn't pan out you want to have other options.

When I hear about how much time you're spending trading instead of going to class and the problems you're having staying on track, I don't think "gee, this kid is giving it all he's got" but rather that you're effectively suffering from a gambling addiction, where you spend all your time doing it, you engage in behaviors you *know* are destructive by violating your own rules and you're letting it get in the way of the rest of your life.

Why do I call it gambling? Because it appears you don't have an edge and are letting it disrupt your life. Seriously, read up on gambling addiction and see if the signs sound familiar.

I strongly disagree with all the guys saying "just stare at the screen more and trade less." Yes, you need discipline and yes, you need to follow the rules but you've got an opportunity to make something of yourself, to become a more rounded human being, to learn things in university which give you an option at a career or just intellectual satisfaction. You don't need to stare at the screen for 10 hours a day; if anything trading for only 1-2 hours a day will help with the impatience problem while still giving you a chance to engage in the rest of your life.

You need to reset yr priorities
First stop lying to yr parents and stop trading and focus on school be cause until you do you.wont be.in the right mindset and your setting up for failure mentally. Second systemize yr program mathematically on excel. Blowups can occur.from bad money management not a bad strategy. Three ignore topstep. You can't afford to pay fees to learn at this stage. Finally graduate first and get some.income... use yr summers to learn with sim before u spend any more money. Best of luck we have all been there.

Build up your capital, then trade. It's hard to remain cool if capital size is too small.

If you don't trade smart you won't be successful.

Specialize in trading only one instrument

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