The account is back exactly to its high watermark of $30,417.

I made a profit of $75 on this trade today. Learning to religiously hold till 10 ticks of target has been a persistent challenge to address which I cannot say 'I did not hold for 10 ticks' - I could've and should've (but didn't) and have to. Either let the trade take out the target or the stop loss. Doesn;t matter if it hits the SL. Rinse repeat.

I suppose same must be of those on the sidelines and looking to be long, double-amplitude:



... and I actually was contemplating a 20-tick target. Coulda shoulda woulda.... for a trader that is akin to gibberish!

Reduce the account highwater mark by commission of 1 contract ($3.68). I got cocky and took a trade where none was warranted and then eventually wormed out of it in a technical exit to get out at breakeven.

Courage, where art though?

Exited at 2 ticks - man, at least pull 5 ticks out of such an exemplary range!



Reason for early exit was the pre-mature entry, as usual.

Look at what a fine quality range it was to get long from!

Here is an observation: For the trade to reach my target or close to target once it is in profit usually takes a small amount of time between one minute to five minutes. At that point there is an urge to:

1. tighten the stop

2. lower the target

3. clench fists

... none of which contributes anything to the bottomline, really.

Then WHY can't I control the urges, passions, lapses, indiscipline, and just LET GO?

If I had let my target at 64 instead of closing at 59 on a momentary urge, I would have been happy.

So it boils down to momentary courage which I will develop further in mindfulness.

Day ends with following stats:



I would be grateful if comments are forthcoming,

Took a final trade in my real account:

Hi iqgod!

It looks to me that you are taking quite a few trades with inverse risk reward (risk much greater than your target). In my opinion this is one of the reasons you cannot sit in a trade. After being offside multiple ticks you see price trading around your entry and I can easily understand your urge to exit. Not saying anything against inverse risk reward, but you know it is difficult to trade like that in practice. I would imagine if you had couple of hundred trades in your record (properly managed) it could add some confidence. But if you believe you have an edge, then maybe it is just emotions.

isla 

Hi iqgod! It looks to me that you are taking quite a few trades with inverse risk reward (risk much greater than your target). In my opinion this is one of the reasons you cannot sit in a trade. After being offside multiple ticks you see price trading around your entry and I can easily understand your urge to exit. Not saying anything against inverse risk reward, but you know it is difficult to trade like that in practice. I would imagine if you had couple of hundred trades in your record (properly managed) it could add some confidence. But if you believe you have an edge, then maybe it is just emotions.

That's it!

I think you've hit the nail at the right spot.

Here is the scared exit by moving my stop too tight on the last trade in the real account, once the trade moved two ticks into profit:



A minor stop run triggered the exit... I am almost sure it is well on its way to the achievable 10-tick target right now.

Not a judgement, just an observation:

Out of 9 days, 4 ended with a single digit gain, what is basicly a break even aka, nothing. You shouldn't be satisfied with such result unless you brought the account back from deeply in the red. Assuming that is not the case, it seems to me you are afraid of risk. Until you conquer fear of losing or pulling the trigger, you are not going to make it as a trader. And we are talking about sim here, not even real money.

Contrary to popular belief, not everyone is made out to be a trader. After reading your health problems and your anxiety when trading, I would advise you to think about your chosen hobby/profession hard and maybe it is just time to give up. You should be comfortable to trade at least sim, if not real money... Some people just can not get over that hurdle and your health is more important than making money in your PJ from home....

Pedro40 

Not a judgement, just an observation: Out of 9 days, 4 ended with a single digit gain, what is basicly a break even aka, nothing. You shouldn't be satisfied with such result unless you brought the account back from deeply in the red. Assuming that is not the case, it seems to me you are afraid of risk. Until you conquer fear of losing or pulling the trigger, you are not going to make it as a trader. And we are talking about sim here, not even real money. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone is made out to be a trader. After reading your health problems and your anxiety when trading, I would advise you to think about your chosen hobby/profession hard and maybe it is just time to give up. You should be comfortable to trade at least sim, if not real money... Some people just can not get over that hurdle and your health is more important than making money in your PJ from home....

Sage advice, thanks!

The take-home is to avoid being risk-averse (I've conquered being risk-seeking). But even to the point - I need to avoid being loss-averse. So what if I lose on a single trade.

I have set about reaching my goal in a stepwise fashion. I chose the 20-day combine for a reason - to ease myself into my role as a 'trader'. I've been at it so long that mind no longer differentiates between sim and real. Really. But I am mostly pampering myself. A hurdle to overcome is hurdle to overcome.

So while it is hard I have regained my health and am keeping it - I am in fact more healthy than I ever was because I am happily doing many things correctly. The loss aversion is what I will eventually conquer. You will read about it in these very pages!