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This is a quote from a book by Richard. D. McCall "The Way of the Warrior Trader".
He uses the principles of the Sumarai in terms of trading.
The present moment being their most important principle.
"so you see it really doesn't matter if the fear we experience is the fear of loss, the fear of pain, or the fear of the unknown. it doesn't matter if the fear was brought on by reflective or anticipatory thinking. and it doesn't matter if the fear has been hanging around for a while..or if it comes suddenly like an acute danger. To the true warrior (Samurai) and warrior (Trader), the solution remains constantly and perpetually the same !. He and you must bring consciousness back to a centered sense of the present moment _ or now _ the only controllable moment in all of eternity."....
Imo, being aware of this principle of the present moment is a bit like a switch being turned on.
The more often it is then the more energy is bought to it and the more light bulbs start lighting up....
The flow is more consistant and present.
..... and the experience of it can then be bought to bare in any other experience or moment. A tool as McCall explains.
So what I wanted to say was this:
In spite of your concerns etc..over the size increase, there is much to think positively on.
Namely that you "managed" the experience on higher size without losing track or sight of much of what you use and do in your trading....... you have actually now had the experience.
From that you can in a sense replay the movie in your mind.
Try to be there again and feel what you experienced at all the important moments (entry exit etc)
From this there may come a moment in which you get a glimps of something.
I don't know what it will or might be. A sense of something maybe.
The present (watching now) changes the past (your own movie).
Then you have something to work with.
And the work may well be as simple as McCall suggest.
Being that at a moment of a similar "sense" we can practice to be present and in doing so we can move through
what is I imagine just a plateau.
It can be a case of to a fro, a sort of getting used to the expereince.
However, this will always happen at any other plateau unless we are able to enter the experience already prepared rather than... having to have the experience (however tentively) in order to then see how to deal with it.
(which will be by being present).
But I do think that there will come a moment when the switch is more on than off.
This is because we are prepared prior to the new experience from learning that the present moment is the experience. The thing is already flowing. we are already present.
That awareness in effect makes us prepared for all things as we have accepted the uncertainty of the unknown, are in control of the only moment that we can be (being now) and are joyous in the experience of it.
As your trading is intuative, then perhaps take advantage of that skill rather than trying to force it into a structure
that it might not or can't exist within.
By that I mean start out with small targets, "grab" ticks here and there, and it may allow you to start "stretching" things (targets etc..) as you will be getting used to the experience by experience.
Things will stretch until at some moment something inside you will snap.
What snaps will be your limitations, or rather you will no longer have them.
Another of those contradictions in that the more we understand the nature of our control the less we are limited.
The more present we become to this moment (the now) the more fluid and freely we flow through it all.
Sorry to write so much.
wishing you well
zt379
Enjoyed this film Blow and these two clips, not with standing the lovely Penelope..
The Wrong Dream (This is not to say your dream of trading is wrong !! )
Sometimes You're Flush
