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I finally blew up an account


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I finally blew up an account

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  #11 (permalink)
 bobwest 
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You may think this is weird, and I don't mean to make light of what happened, but I feel that it is a good milestone to have blown up an account. I have done this a couple of times, and I didn't like it one bit either, but there's an opportunity to learn here, as well as to realize that as traders, we are fallible.

The remorse and the self-blame are natural, but it would be a good idea to get past them as soon as you can. I have no idea what went wrong and will not offer any "helpful" tips, other than to have a tight control on your losses and to not do anything you wouldn't otherwise do in your trading when it goes south, all of which you know, and which is easier said than done in any case.

One thing I do suggest is that, when you feel you are able, to tell your spouse. You said you knew that she would be supportive, and support is one thing you can use right now. Plus, holding it back will do you no good in terms of coming to terms with it, and may cause you to be less open to her and add to your problems. When you can, let it out.

Other than that, feeling you are no good as a trader is not going to help you either. You did some particular, specific things, whatever they were, which did not work, and you lost control in specific ways, which also did not work. Looking at those objectively is the best thing you can do now. Making judgments about how terrible you are as a trader is not going to be helpful, because it will not lead you to doing something to correct them.

Believe me, this happens to many, or even most, traders. So make use of what you can to change for the better. You are by no means alone, and believe me that you can move ahead after this.

And good luck.

Bob.

When one door closes, another opens.
-- Cervantes, Don Quixote
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  #12 (permalink)
 BA 21 
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bobwest View Post
You may think this is weird, and I don't mean to make light of what happened, but I feel that it is a good milestone to have blown up an account....

Bob.

The sooner the better... It's better to blow up a 10k account versus a 100k account.

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  #13 (permalink)
intradayedge
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"I finally almost blew all my profits".
I would review every trade, if you initially had strict rules it's easy to spot whenever you deviated risk management.
You need some data right now, cause overthinking won't help clearing things out.
If the methodology is a winning one, since you made money and losing big was just a matter of managing yourself, you're going to make money again, this time with an extra awareness and a new plan.

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  #14 (permalink)
 Fluid Fox 
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blew View Post
So I just need to get this off my chest. I just gave away all my gains on the year. I went from 7k -> 70k -> 10k. I blew most of it revenge trading and taking too big of position sizes. I got so comfortable scaling up as I was profiting consistently, and I threw it all away in like 10-15 trades. All the work I put in.. day and night studying all the styles of trading, figuring out what worked for me and what didnít, and I blew it all within a few days by emotionally revenge trading and scaling up higher as the losses got deeper. How could I be so stupid?! Iím still in disbelief I blew an account. I was happy to be one of the ones who didnít blow up an account because I remained disciplined enough to run up basically 1000% in 5 months.

I canít bring myself to tell my spouse. She would be really supportive I know it, but I canít even face myself at the moment, let alone have to explain what happened. Disgusted with myself. Utterly disgusted. I canít believe I let myself get so emotional and out of control. What in the fuck was going through this dense skull of mine?! My confidence is shaken but itís not at the same time. Iím confident that I just made 1000% in 5 months, and Iím also confident I just blew that 1000% in 3 days. So what does that really say about me as a trader... that Iím probably not too good Iím thinking.

The problem is trading is now apart of my identity it feels like. I love it but right now I hate it. Before a 4K swing up or down was no big deal, cause Iím some big shot or some shit I guess. But now 4K would axe me for good damn near. I want to give up but I donít cause I love trading. What can I learn from this? Donít revenge trade. But I knew that. I knew it while I was doing it and I know it now. So why didnít I fucking stop?? I donít know what to do from here.

Turning 7k into 70k is pretty amazing! Props to you man. I hope you can relate to this reply.

I also have a problem with revenge trading; after so many losses I just get pissed off. At some point, it starts feeling like a sick joke. I think.. How can I get this unlucky?

Getting a win becomes personal, whereas before when I was doing well, I wasn't so concerned with winning. I wasn't trying to force the markets hand to give me money because I think I deserve it after enduring so many losses.
(You most likely have a different motivation / emotional reason for revenge trading.. For example, you may not feel entitlement because of your suffering, you may feel pressure to not disappoint your wife (totally speculating, just an example).)

My state of mind changes. On top of having way lesser capacity to regulate my emotions because of becoming so internally disturbed by such a losing streak, I become negligent to what the market is signaling to me.

I lose my sound mind, and I lose my edge. I have no business trading like that..

The worst part of it is; being aware of your negative emotions and motivations and still doing the wrong thing anyway. It's emotional, unintentional self sabotage.

The only thing you can do is open the other door when you encounter this obstacle again. Walk away, take a break.. and come back and see the market with fresh eyes.

Great job with your success. Good luck to you.

There's nothing to think about.

- Mark Douglas
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  #15 (permalink)
 Big Mike 
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blew View Post
I canít bring myself to tell my spouse.

Just want to mention this great thread:



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  #16 (permalink)
agalindoc
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All us must consider the MOST important thing to be a successful trader, our self's, take a look to Van K Tharp books, training and material (vantharp.com), so you will be able to work on your self and be a super trader. Believe me, this is the most important for us.

Regards
AG

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  #17 (permalink)
MmmDeion
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A suggestion that I don't believe has been made already is to have your broker or platform but in a daily loss limit.

In Sierra Chart I know there's an option to restrict trading after you've lost $x per day. Extra form of risk management when you're thinking irrationally and too emotionally.

Sent using the futures.io mobile app

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  #18 (permalink)
 coffeeoutlaw 
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sounds like youíve just balanced yourself back out to a reasonable amount of games, if you really think youíre gonna be making 1000% gains every few months youíre going to be the richest man on the planet in a year thatís just not reasonable. You are still in the green and at a reasonable gain. You were severely over trading to try to hit 1000% gains in five months and it caught up with you, you should not expect more than 20 to 40% gains year realistically, itís possible to do more but you expect that is just setting yourself up for a loss

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  #19 (permalink)
 traderpards 
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Thank you for that... Not many people would have the courage to put out what you just said.

I would focus on the fact you still have $10 grand left, which is what many people begin with. You've already proven you can increase that 1000 fold. Now all you have left is to prove to yourself you can keep it. You're probably a lot further along than you realize.

Trade in sim for a few weeks to make sure your system is still valid and get right back up on that proverbial horse.

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  #20 (permalink)
 spinnybobo 
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blew View Post
So I just need to get this off my chest. I just gave away all my gains on the year. I went from 7k -> 70k -> 10k. I blew most of it revenge trading and taking too big of position sizes. I got so comfortable scaling up as I was profiting consistently, and I threw it all away in like 10-15 trades. All the work I put in.. day and night studying all the styles of trading, figuring out what worked for me and what didnít, and I blew it all within a few days by emotionally revenge trading and scaling up higher as the losses got deeper. How could I be so stupid?! Iím still in disbelief I blew an account. I was happy to be one of the ones who didnít blow up an account because I remained disciplined enough to run up basically 1000% in 5 months.

I canít bring myself to tell my spouse. She would be really supportive I know it, but I canít even face myself at the moment, let alone have to explain what happened. Disgusted with myself. Utterly disgusted. I canít believe I let myself get so emotional and out of control. What in the fuck was going through this dense skull of mine?! My confidence is shaken but itís not at the same time. Iím confident that I just made 1000% in 5 months, and Iím also confident I just blew that 1000% in 3 days. So what does that really say about me as a trader... that Iím probably not too good Iím thinking.

The problem is trading is now apart of my identity it feels like. I love it but right now I hate it. Before a 4K swing up or down was no big deal, cause Iím some big shot or some shit I guess. But now 4K would axe me for good damn near. I want to give up but I donít cause I love trading. What can I learn from this? Donít revenge trade. But I knew that. I knew it while I was doing it and I know it now. So why didnít I fucking stop?? I donít know what to do from here.

don't be too hard on yourself. Trading itself is difficult and things happen quick and we still need time to grow emotionally
I noticed for myself that when I forgive myself that makes it possible for me to not repeat the same mistake or at least repeat it less
if you are too hard on yourself, sometimes that causes the pattern to repeat

forgiving puts it in the past while learning and growing wiser and also let's you be calm, grounded and centered

the harder I am on myself the more of a hole I dig which is harder to get out. Forgive and learn, this truly allows you to move forward without
bringing all of those mistakes into the future

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