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Thanks Melba swing, for sharing your experience! I'm impressed by your passion, but I encourage you to balance trading with other important aspects of your life (Wife, family, health, etc.) I do see that your desire for success is inspiring you to seek other worthy goals such as self-knowledge/mastery and losing weight. Awesome!
There have been a lot of good suggestions already, but I have a question that might help clarify your perspective.
Are you sure your approach is profitable? Perhaps your unease and poor results are rather the results of a poor strategy. Even if you're "manually" backtesting, you can quantify your signal(s), entries, targets, stops in order to objectively test your approach. If you're completely "Discretionary" (Or intuitive), has your sim-trading demonstrated your approach is profitable?
...Ultimately, having something tangible to base your confidence on allows the presence of mind to execute effectively.
PS. I'm not at all trying to dissuade you from trading, but I strongly suggest you re-consider this thinking. In fact I think re-evaluation of this belief will only help you, regardless.
