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Trading with Wife/Significant Other "PnL Talk"
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Trading with Wife/Significant Other "PnL Talk"

  #1 (permalink)
Trading Apprentice
Atlanta, Georgia
Futures Experience: Beginner
Platform: MultiCharts/AMP
Favorite Futures: Nikkei, ES
jakobe's Avatar
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Trading with Wife/Significant Other "PnL Talk"

Hey fellas.. I'm pretty new here but really enjoy scouring these forums.

I'm currently trying to move into trading and learning as much as I can. My wife has accepted my goals and dreams.. and she has basically said "Go for it!" I have a plan set out such as overall account max stop loss, time line to quit, etc and I've done all this to NOT put us in any sort of financial burden.

Over dinner tonight we were talking about how we can positively communicate with one another on a daily/weekly basis on how I'm doing. Am I up on the day, down on the day, even, etc. One thing I said to her was if I come to you and say I've lost $300 today (bigger loss then normal) and she looks at me wide eyed like "what the f*cq are you doing" that isn't going to help me. Having a positive conversation and talking about what I did wrong, where were the mistakes that I made, what I can do differently I feel would help so much more then "that was my new *insert expensive item here* that you just lost." And she totally understood that thinking and agreed.

I'm curious how some of you full time or more serious traders handle the PnL talk with your wife or significant other.

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  #3 (permalink)
Elite Member
Chicago Illinois USA
Futures Experience: Advanced
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Posts: 2,055 since Aug 2011
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Hey man...

this is a critical element that you need to understand and make sure your wife shares the same understanding. This is perhaps the most competitive (read difficult) business in the world. You absolutely have to be completely honest and never ever hide anything. The reason that is important is because you are going to have days that kick your teeth in. You must stay positive and encourage one another. Open and honest communication is a must.

The way my wife and I did this was something we started when it was someone else's money at risk. We started a daily check list that lined up my trading, our goals, and our world view. This way we could understand each others needs and emotions.

I made a daily that I completed every day prior to trading and then again completed the "results and review" section before hanging it on the fridge. When one of us needed to talk about it we did regardless of the results. I may be able to find this or some iteration of it. If I can I'll share it with you.

I do not know what product you are trading but I trade mostly ES and I will say that if -$300 creates a response with the word f^cl< you should really be prepared.

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