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My Journey--Trading Journal

  #1 (permalink)
 Sctrader1 
San Francisco
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: Ninja trader
Trading: ZN
Posts: 8 since Dec 2013
Thanks Given: 0
Thanks Received: 8

Hi all,

I'm a new trader. Recently I lost my job. Rather than find a new one, I thought I go all in and try to make a living trading. I know you're not suppose to trade for a living until you're comfortable but I hated my old career and can't imagine myself going back to that life again. I have some money set aside that can sustain me for at least 2 years. I have a wife that's been very supportive. I am giving myself a few more months of trading before I start looking for a job again.

I've been interested in trading for over 10 years. I first started in forex and now futures for 2 years. Although I'm not new to trading--I have a fair bit of technical knowledge on it, this is the first time where I've given it serious consideration.

My trading instrument is the ZN. My methodology is fairly simple. I trade using volume profile to determine long term trend and ideal trade locations. I use order flow to time my entries. Sounds easy right?

I've been profitable trading on the sim for the last 3 months now. My problem arises when I use real money. When I first started trading with real money, I had a hard time entering in trades. I was always waiting for additional confirmation. Usually, price never gives you full confirmation so I usually miss out on trades. Luckily, I think I have that figured out now. I can enter in trades confidently.

After I got a fairly good handle on entries, it's the exits that killing me now. I tend to exit my trades too early. It's like I have no confidence in myself. If you trade order flow, you know that a lot of information comes at you. Sometimes, too much information can be a bad thing. I always exit too early. It's making my trading very difficult to be profitable and is very stressful every time I enter in a trade.

This psychological barrier of exiting trades has been very difficult for me to overcome. Like today, the market behaved exactly as I thought it would but somehow, I managed to sabotage my own trades. I entered 2 trades for a total of 1 tick profit when it should have been a total of at least 7+ ticks, maybe more I trusted myself more. I was hating myself so much. I was banging the desk and cursing myself.

Afterwards, I shut the trading down because I was so emotional and trading on emotions is never a good thing. I decided to post here to help me deal with my emotions because I realize I need help. I will never be able to be a successful trader unless I learn to be confident in myself. I am starting this journal to detail my journey to becoming a hopefully successful trader. Trading is a very lonely profession and I don't know any other traders that I can talk to. My wife is great but she couldn't care less about trading. I really believe that psychology not strategy is my biggest weakness.

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  #3 (permalink)
 
xplorer's Avatar
 xplorer 
London UK
Site Moderator
 
Experience: Beginner
Platform: CQG
Broker: S5
Trading: Futures
Posts: 5,944 since Sep 2015
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Thanks Received: 15,291



Sctrader1 View Post
Afterwards, I shut the trading down because I was so emotional and trading on emotions is never a good thing. I decided to post here to help me deal with my emotions because I realize I need help. I will never be able to be a successful trader unless I learn to be confident in myself.

A seasoned trader on this forum called kevinkdog mentioned his own experience and how the cycle of self-confidence goes from vicious (not having enough confidence, feeding not having enough confidence) to virtuous (having more confidence feeds having more confidence).

It's a slow process, as he puts it. I find a lot of truth in that.

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  #4 (permalink)
 
Blash's Avatar
 Blash 
Chicago, IL
Legendary Market Chamois
 
Experience: None
Platform: NT8,NT7,TWS
Broker: InteractiveBrokers, S5T, IQFeed
Trading: The one I'm creating in the present....Index Futures mini/micro, ZF
Posts: 2,311 since Nov 2011
Thanks Given: 7,341
Thanks Received: 4,518


Sctrader1 View Post
Hi all,

I'm a new trader. Recently I lost my job. Rather than find a new one, I thought I go all in and try to make a living trading. I know you're not suppose to trade for a living until you're comfortable but I hated my old career and can't imagine myself going back to that life again. I have some money set aside that can sustain me for at least 2 years. I have a wife that's been very supportive. I am giving myself a few more months of trading before I start looking for a job again.

I've been interested in trading for over 10 years. I first started in forex and now futures for 2 years. Although I'm not new to trading--I have a fair bit of technical knowledge on it, this is the first time where I've given it serious consideration.

My trading instrument is the ZN. My methodology is fairly simple. I trade using volume profile to determine long term trend and ideal trade locations. I use order flow to time my entries. Sounds easy right?

I've been profitable trading on the sim for the last 3 months now. My problem arises when I use real money. When I first started trading with real money, I had a hard time entering in trades. I was always waiting for additional confirmation. Usually, price never gives you full confirmation so I usually miss out on trades. Luckily, I think I have that figured out now. I can enter in trades confidently.

After I got a fairly good handle on entries, it's the exits that killing me now. I tend to exit my trades too early. It's like I have no confidence in myself. If you trade order flow, you know that a lot of information comes at you. Sometimes, too much information can be a bad thing. I always exit too early. It's making my trading very difficult to be profitable and is very stressful every time I enter in a trade.

This psychological barrier of exiting trades has been very difficult for me to overcome. Like today, the market behaved exactly as I thought it would but somehow, I managed to sabotage my own trades. I entered 2 trades for a total of 1 tick profit when it should have been a total of at least 7+ ticks, maybe more I trusted myself more. I was hating myself so much. I was banging the desk and cursing myself.

Afterwards, I shut the trading down because I was so emotional and trading on emotions is never a good thing. I decided to post here to help me deal with my emotions because I realize I need help. I will never be able to be a successful trader unless I learn to be confident in myself. I am starting this journal to detail my journey to becoming a hopefully successful trader. Trading is a very lonely profession and I don't know any other traders that I can talk to. My wife is great but she couldn't care less about trading. I really believe that psychology not strategy is my biggest weakness.

I say, keep up this honest appraisal and you will succeed. I find Mark Douglas an invaluable mentor thru his books regarding traders psychology. Thinking you know what is going to happen next is your problem in its simplest form IMHO. Does this make sense?



How does this hit you...? What is your reaction to the words Mark says in this short video clip?


Ron

...My calamity is My providence, outwardly it is fire and vengeance, but inwardly it is light and mercy...
The steed of this Valley is pain; and if there be no pain this journey will never end.
Buy Low And Sell High (read left to right or right to left....lol)
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  #5 (permalink)
 Sctrader1 
San Francisco
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: Ninja trader
Trading: ZN
Posts: 8 since Dec 2013
Thanks Given: 0
Thanks Received: 8


Blash View Post
I say, keep up this honest appraisal and you will succeed. I find Mark Douglas an invaluable mentor thru his books regarding traders psychology. Thinking you know what is going to happen next is your problem in its simplest form IMHO. Does this make sense?



How does this hit you...? What is your reaction to the words Mark says in this short video clip?


Ron

Yeah I agree with the video. I'm basically my own worst enemy. I watch the videos here on futures.io and have learned a lot from folks, especially FuturesTrader71. I'm fairly confident my methodology is sound but my nerves always seem to get the best of me. I've always been an impatient person. I guess that's why I like to scalp trade. I'm starting to realize that my impatience will keep me from being successful. Ironically, in my last job, my impatience was a virtue that helped me a great deal. In trading however, it's a curse.

It seems like my best trades are the ones where I leave the screen and go on a bathroom break.

I do need to take a longer term view like Mark Douglas said and let my methods prove itself over many trades. I know it sounds simple but so hard when you are looking at the screen and seeing conflicting signals come at you. It's like this pressure that builds and feels almost ready to burst, and the only way to relieve it is to exit the trade.

I'm starting this journal to detail the psychology battles that go through my head as I trade each day.

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Last Updated on April 12, 2016


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