I haven't seen Kevin's commentary on that but I would guess that it was ..... not on the level of transparency with the trader's spouse.

Man, this thread/email couldn't have popped up at the perfect time. Just had an argument with the wife that she stems from my "emotional swings" since I started trading. My point to her was that the emotions would be there whether or not I was or was not doing this. They'd be just as "hot" if I had gone back to school and was trying to study with three kids at home at the same time. To be honest, she has not been home (she works part time) to see my breakdowns struggling through this. I keep those emotions private.

You know, actually it would be good just to talk to someone sometimes about the market, and maybe I haven't reached out enough to the resources here, without having to pay someone.
It's time I expand my trading network, thanks for pushing this out.

Emotions caused by trading (elation, despair, etc.) can creep into your personal life, even if you are not conscious of it. We have two traders in my house... so imagine that. You have to learn to compartmentalize and set trading aside when you are not doing it. It can creep into your life and your family will feel it. Like @Big Mike stated at the very beginning of this thread.... you have to treat it like a business. COVID has changed the rules and life and work boundaries are blurred, but we have to have a short memory and leave the work at work.

I will relay a quote from Laurent Bernut that fits (paraphrased): "When good traders have a good trade, they feel great. When great traders have a good trade, they feel nothing." (source: [url=http://bettersystemtrader.com/177-superior-returns-from-superior-risk-management-laurent-bernut/]Episode 177.

Man, this thread/email couldn't have popped up at the perfect time. Just had an argument with the wife that she stems from my "emotional swings" since I started trading. My point to her was that the emotions would be there whether or not I was or was not doing this. They'd be just as "hot" if I had gone back to school and was trying to study with three kids at home at the same time. To be honest, she has not been home (she works part time) to see my breakdowns struggling through this. I keep those emotions private.

When I started this venture I wasn't working, furloughed, and am guided my father who is a skilled trader. He is on the other side of the country so it has all been done over the phone and setting up my metrics like his to see what he sees. Returning to work in August slowed my progress slightly but being on the West Coast I am able to login to my combines during premarket hours and log back in after work for some of the PM session.

Other than emotions she says that although I'm here I am "not here." That side is bull as I am the one that cooks dinner for the family and I sit down with them to eat. I also take breaks to go outside with the kids whey THEY are not on their electronic devices. It gives me the opportunities to step away.

While I am back to work, it isn't full time. I am in the hospitality industry and even with an important support role, things have been questionable. Will we stay open, will the state drop the hammer again? My industry growth that I was planning has officially been halted due to the pandemic. My question to her was "would you rather I got an evening minimum wage job?" This would keep me from being home at all and stop any extra fluff I might get from unemployment.

Major bills are paid, food is on the table and I am here. Things settled a bit and she may understand the why of why I'm doing this. We've all sacrificed a lot.

Emotions caused by trading (elation, despair, etc.) can creep into your personal life, even if you are not conscious of it. We have two traders in my house... so imagine that. You have to learn to compartmentalize and set trading aside when you are not doing it. It can creep into your life and your family will feel it. Like @Big Mike stated at the very beginning of this thread.... you have to treat it like a business. COVID has changed the rules and life and work boundaries are blurred, but we have to have a short memory and leave the work at work.

I will relay a quote from Laurent Bernut that fits (paraphrased): "When good traders have a good trade, they feel great. When great traders have a good trade, they feel nothing." He spoke of one of his worst and best trading days of his life, which happened to be back-to-back days. His wife said she couldn't tell he had good or bad days. I recommend listening or watching this episode on YouTube. You can skip the technical analysis if that doesn't interest you, but Laurent has some sage advice scattered throughout the video, plus it is pretty funny episode.

Howdy Brother!

You are living in a challenging situation. The economic state of workers in Ca. is very unsettling. Don't forget to BREATHE and as my 92 year old mother would say..... "Don't take things too seriously"!

Consider some of these thoughts presented here. You are probably my own adult childrens age.

The real reason we want to trade .... let's face it! It's because we want to be rewarded from our efforts in interacting with the market. We want that venue to be our money stream because we like the simplicity of working from home etc. etc.

The problem is that we want success NOW! Or at least SOON! Consistency takes a long time. Sure you can have those odd wins, but they usually are outnumbered by the losses.

So... here is my suggestion if you don't mind me sharing:

1. Keep your family life in order. You are blessed with a wife and children.
2. Just make money. You have to do it to keep your family safe and secure.
3. Purpose in your heart to be a life long student/trader.
4. Loosen your emotional belt and give yourself room to breathe.
5. Share with your wife your long range goal of being a trader.
6. Forget the notion that you will be a money making machine in the short term.
7. Plot a course and wait for your wife's emotions to grasp what you want. Don't brow beat her into understanding your desire. Just plot your course and with authority that you have as a man, husband and father, move in that direction tempered by the other points listed above.

I understand your frustration and emotions when it comes to trading. Those emotions are a result of our brains reacting to the fact that things did not go the way we really anticipated.

Make money the way you know how to and use the sim. for thousands and thousands of demo trades until you start to weed out all the poor habits that we seem to have as humans. This way you can really get to know yourself and get familiar with the market. If you are trading futures, pick just one. I only trade the Nasdaq 100. It's always moving and provides ample opportunities.

As time passes, you and your family will benefit from your diligence and vision. You never need feel apologetic for being a MAN! Men are trail blazers, explorers and even conquerors by nature. Self control will pay off if you apply it to your personal life and your trading life.

As a kid, I learned to play an instrument. Quit in high school and started back up when I was 18. I loved it. Before I became a soloist to play for 35 years as a weekend entertainer, I practiced countless hours before I ever made a dime! Trading is pretty much the same.

I hope that you find some encouragement in these comments. As my wife who also trades would say "Trading has help me rid my life of unwanted habits and emotional crap".

Best wishes to you!

It's nothing tangible. She see's graphs and numbers flashing Green and Red
...
On a side note, I was able to breathe easy and essentially passed my combine today

I guess the hardest part is maybe my wife's understanding, or lack, of what I'm doing. I find it difficult to try and explain, doesn't help that I am fairly new at this, what we are doing in trading. It's nothing tangible. She see's graphs and numbers flashing Green and Red. I like to believe I have a good grasp on my metrics and techniques. And like you mention, finding that self control, loosing the emotional belt will benefit ten fold.

On a side note, I was able to breathe easy and essentially passed my combine today. Just two more "official" trading days to throw in a quick one or two micro trades and I can move on to potentially bringing in revenue.

Cheers all and thank you!

Isn't passing the combine something tangible?