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Support from wife/kids/loved ones in your trading


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Support from wife/kids/loved ones in your trading

  #211 (permalink)
 
vmodus's Avatar
 vmodus 
Somewhere, Delaware, USA
 
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centaurer View Post
IMO it is best to just avoid having the wife altogether and answer to no one when it comes to your capital.

That's my dad's approach to trading (though he still has the wife). She doesn't bug him about the trading, so he answers only to himself in that respect. It helps that he is regularly profitable.

Answering to no one definitely has it's appeal. Speaking for my wife and I, we are both quantifiably better traders with each other than by ourselves. If I didn't have a wife who totally understands the business, then I would definitely be flying solo.

cheers,
~vmodus

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  #212 (permalink)
 santino 
barcelona (Spain)
 
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I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT MY WIFE KNOWS PERFECTLY WELL HOW HARD THIS TRADING IS; I HAVE COME TO THIS CONCLUSION BECAUSE MY WIFE HAS A BAD CHARACTER AND YET WHEN SHE SAW THAT THINGS WERE NOT GOING VERY WELL, SHE NEVER SAID ANYTHING UNPLEASANT.

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  #213 (permalink)
 
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 Rrrracer 
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vmodus View Post
Speaking for my wife and I, we are both quantifiably better traders with each other than by ourselves. If I didn't have a wife who totally understands the business, then I would definitely be flying solo.


I like this... a lot. Amy has recently expressed some interest in trading... I would be thrilled if she decided to take the plunge, think it would be great to bounce off each other. Hmmm..

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  #214 (permalink)
 
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 mattz   is a Vendor
 
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ClearTrades View Post
Anyone have any advice?

I read your comments and interaction.

Here is the problem; you are trying to calm your wife down without being factual and saying what trading is all about. Telling her that it's hard makes your argument weak, and this ongoing interaction does not create a positive environment for you. Markets are hard enough, and "trying harder" doe not make you a better trader.
Sit down with her, and tell her that there would be many consecutive losses, there are drawdowns and a learning curve that may take years. Most reasonable people who faced with facts become very understanding.

Most independent business people who rely on varying business cycles are faced with good periods, bad periods, and lackluster, just like any trader! If every businessperson came home and his/her spouse was breathing down his/her neck, we would still be hunting for mammoths while living in a cave.

Create a positive environment for you in every aspect of life. It's the first foundation of success in my opinion.

Matt Z
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  #215 (permalink)
 centaurer 
south africa
 
Posts: 169 since Dec 2018


vmodus View Post
That's my dad's approach to trading (though he still has the wife). She doesn't bug him about the trading, so he answers only to himself in that respect. It helps that he is regularly profitable.

Answering to no one definitely has it's appeal. Speaking for my wife and I, we are both quantifiably better traders with each other than by ourselves. If I didn't have a wife who totally understands the business, then I would definitely be flying solo.

cheers,
~vmodus

I know I am an outlier in the other direction just because I am so bad at lasting relationships even without money being an issue.

Statistically though, money is the #1 cause of divorce. So if you introduce volatility to your cash flow and savings you introduce volatility to the marriage at average.

https://www.inc.com/magazine/20101101/why-so-many-entrepreneurs-get-divorced.html

I am sure you are an outlier in the trading business. I have dated so many women and none were anything like Tracy Alloway.

That might be a good measure for guys here. How far is the woman in your life from posting this on her social media:


vmodus is going to be hard to beat I think.

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  #216 (permalink)
 
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 vmodus 
Somewhere, Delaware, USA
 
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centaurer View Post
I know I am an outlier in the other direction just because I am so bad at lasting relationships even without money being an issue.

Statistically though, money is the #1 cause of divorce. So if you introduce volatility to your cash flow and savings you introduce volatility to the marriage at average.

https://www.inc.com/magazine/20101101/why-so-many-entrepreneurs-get-divorced.html

I am sure you are an outlier in the trading business. I have dated so many women and none were anything like Tracy Alloway.

That might be a good measure for guys here. How far is the woman in your life from posting this on her social media:


vmodus is going to be hard to beat I think.

@centaurer thanks for sharing that article. About 20 years ago, I used to work for an entrepreneur and I asked him his key to a happy marriage: "Separate bank accounts". He also said, "having money helps".

My wife and I had a money fight once and only once, before we were married, and it was not what you would think. We had plenty of money, but it was a practical consideration of combining our finances to pay a mortgage, bills, etc., versus having our own money. We both grew up poor and are pretty confident in our ability to earn money doing something, anything. In our businesses, we both have to be comfortable with a financial move or we don't make that move. I think we work because our philosophies on money are pretty well aligned. And we may be the outliers.

My wife is probably closer to Tracy Alloway than any one else that I've known, aside from despising social media. She can totally geek out on charts, patterns, movements, technical analysis, etc. So I count myself lucky.

Maybe a way to think of a spouse's/significant others involvement in your trading/business it is this: if you want to dabble in my business, you better be ready to get your hands dirty.

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  #217 (permalink)
 MiguelCoast 
Lisbon Portugal
 
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Hi All,

I had a trading "disaster" about two years ago, you can read ir at the elite fórum discussion, but to sum up, I Gave away everything I made+original investiment. Looking back my falults were:
- too much to handle at same time: new baby, my business, family affairs
- too much of a gambling approach vs investiment

- trading without knowing what I was doing and literaly too much leverage

I invested All savings I had left on stocks ( Msft, fbook, tndm diabetes, etc) and made 5 Times the original investiment in roughly two years.

Basically I was trying too hard to BE a futures trazer instead of a slow boring stock investir without realising I am much more Talented in reading earnings reports that analysing the futures market on a short term ( which honestly for me seemed like trying to Guess the wind Direction).

All in all I feel we must stick with what que know/like and avoid costly adventures for the sake of our ego.
Sometimes I still Invest in the futures market but just 1 lot at a time without putting too much emotion on a trade. One trade every 3 days or so and thats it.
Last 2 years I am up only 14% and that reminds me of how volatile and hard this type of investment is for me.

Take care and whatever you do think about tour family and yourselves first before doing something stup.d.

Miguel
( Sorry for my English not a native speaker here)

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  #218 (permalink)
 
vmodus's Avatar
 vmodus 
Somewhere, Delaware, USA
 
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MiguelCoast View Post
Hi All,

I had a trading "disaster" about two years ago, you can read ir at the elite fórum discussion, but to sum up, I Gave away everything I made+original investiment. Looking back my falults were:
- too much to handle at same time: new baby, my business, family affairs
- too much of a gambling approach vs investiment

- trading without knowing what I was doing and literaly too much leverage

I invested All savings I had left on stocks ( Msft, fbook, tndm diabetes, etc) and made 5 Times the original investiment in roughly two years.

Basically I was trying too hard to BE a futures trazer instead of a slow boring stock investir without realising I am much more Talented in reading earnings reports that analysing the futures market on a short term ( which honestly for me seemed like trying to Guess the wind Direction).

All in all I feel we must stick with what que know/like and avoid costly adventures for the sake of our ego.
Sometimes I still Invest in the futures market but just 1 lot at a time without putting too much emotion on a trade. One trade every 3 days or so and thats it.
Last 2 years I am up only 14% and that reminds me of how volatile and hard this type of investment is for me.

Take care and whatever you do think about tour family and yourselves first before doing something stup.d.

Miguel
( Sorry for my English not a native speaker here)

It is great that you are self-aware enough to know that you are better at stocks than futures. Get rich slowly.

~vmodus

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  #219 (permalink)
 
Big Mike's Avatar
 Big Mike 
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Speaking of kids, I found this infographic interesting as a way to teach kids the value of money.



It was in this article:
https://www.gobankingrates.com/banking/savings-account/best-savings-accounts-for-kids/

Mike

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  #220 (permalink)
 
vmodus's Avatar
 vmodus 
Somewhere, Delaware, USA
 
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Big Mike View Post
Speaking of kids, I found this infographic interesting as a way to teach kids the value of money.



It was in this article:
https://www.gobankingrates.com/banking/savings-account/best-savings-accounts-for-kids/

Mike

Thanks Big Mike. I will share this with my people. I am happy to say that we already do most of this with our kids.

Have a great weekend and stay safe!

~vmodus

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