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Support from wife/kids/loved ones in your trading


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Support from wife/kids/loved ones in your trading

  #191 (permalink)
 OpalDragon 
Des Moines, Iowa
 
Experience: Advanced
Platform: Ninja Trader
Trading: 6E, CL, Anything that moves
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I didn't know how to really answer this poll >>>

DOES MY FAMILY SUPPORT MY TRADING??

They do AND they don't.... really...

They sort of do in that they supported at first >>> thinking it was all super super easy and very straight-forward and would only need like 3 MONTHS TO figure everything out! Then when they saw that it was not like that they started to get kind of HOSTILE about it.

ALSO >>> this was before there were things like JIGSAW TRADING DOM! And before other awesome programs came out! Now there are ACTUAL GREAT PROGRAMS available >>> SOME EVEN FREE!!
Now there is also awesome programs AND classes on how to use the DOM and order flow... etc.. etc.. etc..

So there is actual good stuff available now to the small individual trader that before there wasn't.

So the initial part of my trading was kind of supported.... but then when it wasn't just super instant magical >>> some stress and strife started coming out! :O

And also >>> they started to give me some stress and strife even though they never really contributed ANYTHING. They didn't help research methods, programs, and instruments to trade. So I thought it was pretty damn ridiculous when some people give you problems === when they themselves do not help at all for that person to win.

Messed up >>> but I am super sure they will want the benefits of the trading as I am starting to win now. They sure will probably want some of those benefits.

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  #192 (permalink)
 icog 
Sofia Bulgaria
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: TradeStation
Broker: TradeStation
Trading: Everything
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From time to time my kids are painting red/green candles in my office . They realize my work is what allows us to go to these ski vacations, to travel to different countries, etc.
My wife also realize it. But for some women's reason she hate my job.

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  #193 (permalink)
k7ler
CONSTANTINE/ALGERIA (DZ)
 
Posts: 50 since Aug 2015
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my familly dont see a was many years traders discretion it weapon in this life

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  #194 (permalink)
greenies
Paradise USA
 
Posts: 7 since Jan 2018
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Fortunately I am very blessed to have the life-long love plus different-Trading experience, & therefore total support of my Loved one.

Soon, hopefully I will regain my Trading courage...
====
ps: just Noticed these 393 emoticons & they are a scream, lol
Had i known about this Forum in June 2017 I would still be Intact...
.
First post here.

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  #195 (permalink)
ClearTrades
Yakima WA
 
Posts: 28 since Mar 2019
Thanks Given: 67
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I have an agreement with my wife to tell her how my trades went each day. She wants to know and be informed. So today my stop loss was hit and so i told her what i lost. Now she is super frustrated with me and doubting me and is moping around and getting upset and slamming doors and just left the house. I figured out the reason for my poor trade and have made adjustments to my strategy. But she doesnt get it and every time i have a loss and fix my strategy to make it better, all i can say to her is say, i think i figured it out so i can do better next time. And she says thats what you always say... And you still lost.
But each loss has been for a different reason and i am learning from my mistakes but it doesnt look that way to her.
Now she is saying things like she is questioning decisions she made to trust me etc. Etc. Basically trying to save the relationship etc. Anyone have any advice?

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  #196 (permalink)
 
xevanchan's Avatar
 xevanchan 
New York City, NY
 
Experience: Intermediate
Platform: Ninjatrader 8
Broker: Dorman Trading
Trading: emini ES/NQ
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ClearTrades View Post
I have an agreement with my wife to tell her how my trades went each day. She wants to know and be informed. So today my stop loss was hit and so i told her what i lost. Now she is super frustrated with me and doubting me and is moping around and getting upset and slamming doors and just left the house. I figured out the reason for my poor trade and have made adjustments to my strategy. But she doesnt get it and every time i have a loss and fix my strategy to make it better, all i can say to her is say, i think i figured it out so i can do better next time. And she says thats what you always say... And you still lost.
But each loss has been for a different reason and i am learning from my mistakes but it doesnt look that way to her.
Now she is saying things like she is questioning decisions she made to trust me etc. Etc. Basically trying to save the relationship etc. Anyone have any advice?

That's ludicrous imo, as long as you're getting better and not putting non-expendable income at risk. I assume she wants to know your trades so she can support and communicate with you, not because she doesn't trust you. Make sure she understands that what you are doing is not gambling but is difficult and will take time. I think there's either a lack of clear communication or a lack of inherent trust, both of which can prove disastrous. Take some time off and talk to her and explain your process. Only use what you can afford to lose, and make sure she truly understands this. Make sure you are looking at yourself objectively as well, that you are truly getting better and not consistently losing without real progress. I have experienced something similar; just make sure you are communicating as well as you can.

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  #197 (permalink)
ClearTrades
Yakima WA
 
Posts: 28 since Mar 2019
Thanks Given: 67
Thanks Received: 20


xevanchan View Post
That's ludicrous imo, as long as you're getting better and not putting non-expendable income at risk. I assume she wants to know your trades so she can support and communicate with you, not because she doesn't trust you. Make sure she understands that what you are doing is not gambling but is difficult and will take time. I think there's either a lack of clear communication or a lack of inherent trust, both of which can prove disastrous. Take some time off and talk to her and explain your process. Only use what you can afford to lose, and make sure she truly understands this. Make sure you are looking at yourself objectively as well, that you are truly getting better and not consistently losing without real progress. I have experienced something similar; just make sure you are communicating as well as you can.

So basically at this time we have allocated 25% of our life savings to the trading account. We can "afford to lose" it but it is really painful to see a drawdown. I can see where she is coming from because the loss represents like a months salary. That cannot keep happening in a row...
Edit: i believe i am getting better. But basically im at breakeven atm.

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  #198 (permalink)
 
TheShrike's Avatar
 TheShrike 
Bridgeport, Ct
 
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ClearTrades View Post
So basically at this time we have allocated 25% of our life savings to the trading account. We can "afford to lose" it but it is really painful to see a drawdown. I can see where she is coming from because the loss represents like a months salary. That cannot keep happening in a row...
Edit: i believe i am getting better. But basically im at breakeven atm.

If it's painful, then you can't afford it. You need to get your head out of your ass immediately. If you think she's pissed after you have a bad day, what's going to happen if you lose a larger portion of your combined life savings? It's not going to end well for your marriage would be my guess. You willing to risk it? Seems like a bad trade.

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  #199 (permalink)
 
MiniP's Avatar
 MiniP 
USA,USA
Market Wizard
 
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ClearTrades View Post
So basically at this time we have allocated 25% of our life savings to the trading account. We can "afford to lose" it but it is really painful to see a drawdown. I can see where she is coming from because the loss represents like a months salary. That cannot keep happening in a row...
Edit: i believe i am getting better. But basically im at breakeven atm.

my suggestion would be to explain things to her in a very elementary lvl and explain the risks, I use to tell my girlfriend oh i lost $900 and she would be like omg thats so much are you ok ect ect and once i explain that sometimes i lose $900 and some times i make $2000, having a long term journal showing that you make your money back it normally helps the other half not get stressed out. Now when i say i had a red day she just gives me positive feed back because she knows there will be green days eventually.

I would also suggest that you tell her that she is putting a ton of stress on you and stressed traders aren't usually good traders no offense, also if you need her to support you in some other way then i would suggest telling her that. Example, my girlfriend knows that i hate making breakfast in the morning and its just one thing that for some reason i stress about so when she can shes makes be food before the session.

These conversations can be hard and some times very awkward but in the long run it helps each party

or you can tell her to kick rocks and start banging strippers (joking)


-P

"Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is, and you must bend to its power or live a lie"-Miyamoto Musashi
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  #200 (permalink)
 
xevanchan's Avatar
 xevanchan 
New York City, NY
 
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TheShrike View Post
If it's painful, then you can't afford it. You need to get your head out of your ass immediately. If you think she's pissed after you have a bad day, what's going to happen if you lose a larger portion of your combined life savings? It's not going to end well for your marriage would be my guess. You willing to risk it? Seems like a bad trade.

I don't think that's necessarily true; you can have painful drawdowns and afford it; all my drawdowns suck, but they happen. What's worrying me is that a drawdown represents a month salary. If you're really at B/E, thats fine but if not, and even if you are, you should scale down to one contract. I would be hard pressed to lose a month's salary on one contract in a few trades. Maybe consider trading the e-micros when they come out.

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