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Support from wife/kids/loved ones in your trading


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Support from wife/kids/loved ones in your trading

  #151 (permalink)
 
FABRICATORX's Avatar
 FABRICATORX 
San Tan Valley, AZ/USA
 
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My wife says that as long as the acct is funded from side work, and not normal income, then she doesn't care.

She says to not talk about gains or losses, because she's the epitome of an OCD, risk averse, stay at home mom, and she can't handle that kind of stress.

I say, fair enough.

-Jimmy
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  #152 (permalink)
 cami02 
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Big Mike View Post
What does that mean exactly?

Mike

But my emotions still kill me in my trading trading.

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  #153 (permalink)
 
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 TheTradeSlinger 
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rleplae View Post
I think it's not common to have a partner that understands all points involved in trading.
(i realize how lucky i am with a wife that is as passionate about trading as myself)

But if your partner leaves you for trading, most likely it's not the right partner
because trading can put you in moments of joy and equally in difficult moments
the right partner should be able to be supportive, or if you are loosing too much
money according to the partner, to discuss and find a middle way.

If trading is not the reason, then probably something else might become the
poblem, where trading can just be an acceleration of facts...

You and the wife compare PnL's?

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  #154 (permalink)
 
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 mattz   is a Vendor
 
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rleplae View Post
I think it's not common to have a partner that understands all points involved in trading.
(i realize how lucky i am with a wife that is as passionate about trading as myself)

But if your partner leaves you for trading, most likely it's not the right partner
because trading can put you in moments of joy and equally in difficult moments
the right partner should be able to be supportive, or if you are loosing too much
money according to the partner, to discuss and find a middle way.

If trading is not the reason, then probably something else might become the
poblem, where trading can just be an acceleration of facts...

There is also a practical side to support. A person that does not support your habits, hobbies or passions because it is not productive, does not mean they are not a good person. They are practical. It does not mean they are not a loving person, nor does it mean that they are any less of a person that supports one despite what they do.

I prefer practicality, logic, direction and a second opinion that may shed some light on things I did not consider.

Matt

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  #155 (permalink)
 
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 rleplae 
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TheTradeSlinger View Post
You and the wife compare PnL's?

we are very different,
i'm algo/automated while she is discretionary

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  #156 (permalink)
 
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 treydog999 
seoul, Korea
 
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Well I am recently married to my long time girlfriend. She has been very positive about my trading, all the ups and downs of it. From the very beginnings to my current institutional job. She is definitely very supportive but not necessarily encouraging. Let me detail this supportive in that she knows that I love trading, and have made it my career. Not only am i constantly talking about trading, but i am reading, going to school, learning and going to/hosting events which takes time to build networks in the financial community. Which takes lots of time and energy.

But when it comes down to managing my own / family members accounts. I am completely transparent. I will tell her monthly PnL's, even walk her through my though processes. It has come down to the point where she is becoming educated in trading terminology and thinking herself. She will question me and make me have to give a solid answer. In fact i love this as sometimes it means i have to evaluate something more clearly.

Only recently have family members from her side offered to have me manage some of their funds. I have treated them exactly like I would any other client. Show them my track records, explain the system, give them the risk reward metrics, and be very candid about the risks. Also I explain that what I do and their specific goals are different. So we should create something suited to them, which happens to be retirement focused. I am very clear about what could be lost and they are Mainland Chinese. So they have very unrealistic expectations like 15-25+% returns on 10% risk. Just because that is an environment that has existed for a decade or more.

But by showing them what I can do, what is realistic and that my own money is riding on similar strategies has bought them confidence in me. Look i honestly am very nervous about taking their money, they are not well to do. But they need help planning for retirement as there are no IRAs, 401ks etc... here mainland china. So I am helping them implement simple systems for long term investment through swing trading / indexing / diversification strategies.

I know this is kind of a long post but i want to bring it back to the original question. Do I have support from my family. Yes and enough confidence they will post money on me. For people who do not have something like this type of support. Maybe look at being totally candid, and be realistic. I have 0 qualms about telling anyone I lost money, I am very specific about it. But I rarely mention the gains. I show them my thoughts before hand, backtests/reports/research and ask them what they think. If they have a question i try to educate them. I am also totally willing to walk away from any account management or them, institute an account wide draw down limit where I close all positions, and let them use accounts in their own name (managed accounts).

I am not sure if the entire family managed accounts will do well or not. And if that will create additional family pressures. But so far its been ok.

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  #157 (permalink)
 fourtiwinks 
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cami02 View Post
Is my boyfriend who does not support me . He abandoned me last week. But I still have strenght to keep trying.



You have bravely taken the third choice. May you make trading a source of strength for yourself, despite the emotional obstacles that you have to overcome to achieve it. Take care and all the best!

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  #158 (permalink)
 
FABRICATORX's Avatar
 FABRICATORX 
San Tan Valley, AZ/USA
 
Experience: Advanced
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Trading: Futures
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That's like Taleb's Antifragile. If something that happens can make you crack, then you're fragile like a glass falling off the table. If it makes you tougher, then you're the opposite of fragile - you're antifragile.

-Jimmy
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  #159 (permalink)
 
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 Big Mike 
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New poll

Has your trading improved the life of your family?

Total votes: 1514
 


Please vote and discuss.

Mike

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  #160 (permalink)
 
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 treydog999 
seoul, Korea
 
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Big Mike View Post
New poll



Please vote and discuss.

Mike

I have improved my life and that of my family through trading. I have built a career in trading and enjoy every minute of it. The intellectual challenge and working with some really bright people is fulfilling. Honestly the only thing that drags me down is office politics and other kind of nonsense but that is in every type of job or company setting. I still maintain passion in this area and hope to have that passion continue well into the future.

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