I am definitely a longer time frame trader, so I figure I can't totally avoid distractions. This kind of thing happens to me several times a year and is actually part of my system. I can't say with certainty that I would have done better totally without distraction. I was actually thinking of it more from the point of view of being able to operate under stress and it made me smile as I thought about how to handle pigtails better next time.
The following user says Thank You to Jolew for this post:
I plan on coming back to this thread read the title page of thread , I got here from another thread of Mikes , this thread hits home for me
it is very difficult to express what Trading is , It really messed me up mentally when close friend's condemned me for Trading. My wife does support me also have a close friend who is also a counselor support me . I also talked to a pastor at Church who supports me. The snag is I still remember the negative comments more than the positive.
My wife encourages me to not even talk about what i do , people would not understand anyhow all they care to know is how much money you are making or loosing and or how you did it
overall, i'd say hubby's been very patient while i take up this new skill. i've lost about half my stake between "education", "alerts" and plain old losses, and for him to still support me at all is really testament to his faith in me. which is not unfounded - learning to trade reminds me of when i was in college and had to fill a science requirement. i went from having a D average to ending the class with a B+ and that was back in the day, before grade inflation. i went to every tutorial, help session, and got help from friends - i was like, B or bust. i've also learned how to do other things i wasn't particularly good at to start with, out of interest in the subject. i know if you work hard and are determined, you can succeed. and after 23 yrs dh knows me well enough to know once i get into that taurus bull-determined state, just step aside. it's gonna take longer than i anticipated, though. that's ok, i have a good 20 yrs of trading ahead of me - i don't need to make it happen ASAP.
this has been good for my husband, too, as now he has total responsibility for the kids while i trade. this happens to be in the early AM - otherwise we could never do it as has to leave for work around 10. at first, he literally could not make their sandwiches for school lunch and was always forgetting to check their backpacks for homework, etc. now i hear him really in charge, making sure they have all their stuff, combing their hair, making sure they get to school on time.
at first nobody understood trading takes *total focus* and would ask me questions while i was concentrating on my position. i just kept repeating, i can't talk to you right now. they get the picture now, all of them.
my older boy is the one i can most easily talk to about trading. he understands the charts, he can just *see* it. he in fact gives me good advice. hubby is starting to catch on but he gets a faraway look still when i go into details about time decay, strike price...but he does make an effort and is catching on.
so basically, so far, so good.
Du sublime au ridicule, il n'ya qu'un pas. ~Napoleon Bonaparte
As traders we all read a lot of trading books, both technically and psychologically oriented. Personally I think it would be extremely valuable to have a book aimed specifically at wives/husbands who do not trade. No need for a 500 page epic, just a few chapters bringing the partner into the picture of what's involved.
"Married to a trader - by DarkPool" The book would have the following chapters:
- Trading basics
- The psychological battle
- Losses: They're part of the business
- Trading: It's a business
- The journey: The process your significant other must go through to be become successful
hmmm, i've always wanted to be an writer/author...
Just like some people want each spouse to have their own separate checking account and their "own" money, some do not want to share details of trading. Especially since it will involve a lot of personal mistakes that aren't easy for most people to own up to.
But I think that if you are the kind of person that shares with your spouse, then I believe you could gain a lot of support by involving your spouse with your trading. Not just telling them what happened each day, but trying to get them to experience it for themselves, by making their own trades.
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Need help? 1) Stop changing things. No new indicators, charts, or methods. Be consistent with what is in front of you first. 2) Start a journal and post to it daily with the trades you made to show your strengths and weaknesses. 3) Set goals for yourself to reach daily. Make them about how you trade, not how much money you make. 4) Accept responsibility for your actions. Stop looking elsewhere to explain away poor performance. 5) Where to start as a trader? Watch this webinar and read this thread for hundreds of questions and answers. 6) Help using the forum? Watch this video to learn general tips on using the site.
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The following user says Thank You to Big Mike for this post:
Agreed. For me personally, I want my wife to know as much about my trading as is reasonably possible. We are both very open with each other about finances and because of that we seldom fight about money. I dont expect my wife to know the finer details of trading (because quite frankly she's in marketing and has no interest in it), but she does I feel need a good overview of what it involves.
My thinking is that when things are going well, your spouse will support your trading. But when things are not going well and you're on a losing streak, only then will you find out if your spouse really supports you or not. And it is at that point, that if your wife understands what you do, she will be more likely to continue supporting you through the hard times.