Nobody supports me in my quest to trade for a living, only this forum understands what I'm trying to accomplish...I liken it to a small puny company that no knows about and when they do, they don't give it any thought...kinda like companies like Intel, Google, etc. But when they get BIG, oh...those folks that didn't buy shares are just dieing to get a piece of it...ha!
"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." --- "Therefore, I Believe it and I will see it. And every day and in every way, I am healthier, wealthier, and wiser."
My wife supports me at the moment. I've been involved in the markets since my days in the Marines, as I came to quickly understand, that had ZERO bearing on futures. However, it has provided me with the proper mindset, more of a propensity to follow my rules and in addition to my service has helped me to be, well, cold and calculating. My wife is a social butterfly and very outgoing and willing to talk to anyone and everyone. I'm not. I've asked her if she wants to and she said she doesn't understand math very well and can't read charts. That's fine. As Matt said previously, thinking about it...I'm not sure I'd want her to trade with me.
We have our first child on the way with her being 8 weeks preggers and my main goal is for her to be safe and comfortable, economically, mentally, and emotionally.
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AR01, it isn't a matter on whether or not she can do it, but rather she doesn't want to. We, as traders, do have a emotions and while we do our best to be robotic, we are two things at the end of the day, every day (generally speaking). One is less emotional than a woman and Two, not pregnant. I don't want her to have the stress hormones coursing through her veins. I want her to feel loved, comfortable, and safe as that would provide the best environment for our as yet unborn child. As such, I don't want her to trade yet either. She has her pursuits which make her happy and I am happy to let her enjoy those pursuits.
I brought this up in another thread and Mike pointed me here so I'll make a post.
I live with my girlfriend who detests trading in all its forms. She has a few basic tenets for this:
First, trading is not a job because it is not work. I sit in front of a computer screen all day and listen to a news service I pay for, on a computer I pay for, with software I pay for and no guarantee I will make money.
Second, again, trading is not work. I sit in front of a computer all day, alone, at home. I don't put a suit on, I don't have a business card, and much worse than that, I don't sweat and I don't lift heavy things (i.e. real work).
Third, and most egregious of all, if I'm trading I can't do anything worthwhile. I can't do the laundry or pick up her dry cleaning or go grocery shopping so I'm just sitting in front of a computer and accomplishing not even the most basic task.
Yeah, I've tried to explain how this works and I have clients from another business who are traders and millionaires many many times over so she sees it can be done but anytime I try to explain the process of becoming successful at this I get the old "I don't care, whatever".
So I guess this puts me in the minority of traders on this site but that's ok. She isn't responsible for a single loss I've taken and definitely not a gain. I and I alone put my trades on and take my trades off. I decide my risk and I won't for one second tell you anything different. Does it make my job harder? Hell yes it does. No one ever said it would be easy. Besides, this is a woman we are talking about, the minute I turn profitable and start making money she will leave a burn mark on the ground she'll do a 180 so fast (then I'll have to hear about how it was her support that allowed me to be successful and without her yadda yadda)... just better hope I can keep it going.
It's all good, keep your eye on the prize, work harder than the guy to your left and right, above all stay focused. There are I-banks and institutions out there just dying to give you their money... so go take it.
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Trading is one of the most demanding professions out there. The demand is on mental capacity/strain, not physical.
Here are my thoughts on your post:
- If you and your girlfriend are living well, no money issues, and you aren't trading the rent money --- then I would find a new girlfriend, one that actually supports and encourages you with your dreams and aspirations.
- If on the other hand money is tight, and you are to some extent trading rent money, then your girlfriend is right - you should stop trading immediately, go get a "guaranteed income" job, and start putting some money away so that in a year or two you can fund your live trading account without it effecting rent money etc. Over the next year or two you can continue to spend 2-3 hours a day and some weekends learning all you can about trading, including sim trading as much as you can (from market replay, most likely).
Due to time constraints, please do not PM me if your question can be resolved or answered on the forum.
Need help? 1) Stop changing things. No new indicators, charts, or methods. Be consistent with what is in front of you first. 2) Start a journal and post to it daily with the trades you made to show your strengths and weaknesses. 3) Set goals for yourself to reach daily. Make them about how you trade, not how much money you make. 4) Accept responsibility for your actions. Stop looking elsewhere to explain away poor performance. 5) Where to start as a trader? Watch this webinar and read this thread for hundreds of questions and answers. 6) Help using the forum? Watch this video to learn general tips on using the site.
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This is a great thread - thanks to all who've contributed.
I'm wondering though, how do you guys get support if you have no wife/girlfriend or kids? Or no friends who understand trading? Any tips?
I understand this is somewhat 'part of the deal', but honestly, I annoys me that there's so little (if any) support and interest. I don't expect any cheer leading, but it wouldn't hurt to sometimes ask how it's going - just like you do with other entrepreneurs or people with a 9-to-5 job.
I would suggest not starting out with aim to make a living. Start out to make extra income. If at some point you are making so much extra income that you can step out of your job and focus on trading then do it. Plus the added pressure of having to depend on trading to pay the bills can be crushing and cause you to make many mistakes.
The reality is most will fail in trading. If you have others who are depending on you to bring home a paycheck they will suffer if it does not work and odds say it won't work. It is not worth the stress it can cause in relationships. Most likely if you fail in trading you have eaten up your savings and are possibly in debt. It can be a double kill on your finances that can set you back years financially and ruin your relationships.
I really think the ultimate is if you can get some other type of business going that allows you to keep an eye on markets. Then instead of taking money out of your trading account every month you just let it build and scale.
"The day I became a winning trader was the day it became boring. Daily losses no longer bother me and daily wins no longer excited me. Took years of pain and busting a few accounts before finally got my mind right. I survived the darkness within and now just chillax and let my black box do the work."
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