So being recently single (not by my choice), and thinking of starting to date, I am wondering when do you let the future girlfriend (FGF) know about the addiction?
To quote someone in Mike Bellafore's books, "you have to be a little crazy to want to be a prop trader"
Here are some challenges as I see it:
1) Checking your trades while on a date - FGF (future girl friend) probably won't believe I am actually that interested in what the market is doing, versus texting my ex or another FGF
2) Having to be home by 8:00 pm (west coast time) so I can do my trading homework and get a good night's rest - FGF will probably think I have a friend with benefits visit, OR I am a real loser if I don't hang out with her after 8:00 pm
3) Being in touch with my feelings and embracing my emotion so I can trade well - FGF will likely never have meet a man like that before and asking her deep psychological related type questions on the first or second date, could be taken as somewhat threatening perhaps? (I mean, really... what is your deepest fear and why does that control you?)
4) Eating out at a nice restaurant and pricing everything in ticks or pips - FGF could find that a little weird.
5) Shopping at Victoria Secrets with her and commenting about how I really should be long this stock, and then striking up a conversation with the acting manager (who I think was pretty) in an effort to learn more about the business. - FGF could be confused with the numbers I am writing down
6) That awkward first visit to my home. - FGF might feel a bit weird with the bloomberg everywhere, the 6 monitors scrolling red and green, T4 by my bedside. Hmmmm, maybe I should take out the computer in the bathroom she would use?
7) Accidentally leaving my psychological trading journal in her car - FGF would definitely never call me back
So yea, there you have it. A few challenges I can forecast with FGF. Please weigh in with any help or advice you can give me.
PS. My ex didn't leave me over trading.
The following 5 users say Thank You to Yukoner for this post:
I personally don't see any challenge in what you wrote.
If you're an active trader, you probably have several trades per day. Why would a three hour window be so important that you cannot be flat?
Do you have a thing for paranoid and/or very insecure girls? Why would she immediately think you have a FWB?
But seriously, trading is not the only profession that involves doing evening work and getting a good night sleep. And if you do want to be with her in the evening, than get up somewhat earlier and do your homework then.
Being in touch with your emotions does not, in my view, equal asking inappropriate questions. Why would you ask her threatening, emotional questions on the first date? That are just bad manner, separate from being a trader or not.
You can do that in your head (if you really want), but why do that aloud? And by the way, do you really want to discuss prices with a girl on your first date? That are (again) not the most socially desirable manners.
Are you a trader or a long-term Buffett like investor? In the first case, there is no point in discussion the business with a manager. Secondly, why bore her with your market observations in (of all places!) a Victoria Secrets shop?
I don't know how your mind works, but in a Victoria Secret shop I think about much other things.
Now I believe you're not serious.
Not serious indeed.
The following 3 users say Thank You to Jura for this post:
The title of this thread is misleading. It assumes you can actively manage a woman. Its a faulty premise to begin with, therefore your trade (managing a woman) is destined to fail. Best to cut your losses now and figure out how to have the FGF without the "managing" premise as part of your thinking.
In my limited view, the best possible option would be to make so much darn money she doesn't care what you do...or how you do it......this brings up another set of problems but that's a subject for a different thread.
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication, Leonardo da Vinci
Most people chose unhappiness over uncertainty, Tim Ferris
The following 5 users say Thank You to PandaWarrior for this post:
There all nuts, none of them are worth the trouble, my advice is stick to a few friends with benefits and enjoy your life, well have a life rather than be controlled, hey it works for me
It works out cheaper in the long run to pay by the hour, short term it's great, but 3months down the line your handing over a lot of cash for nothing in return, as least paying for it same service and less money.
Did I also mention, there all NUTS!!! ( FB's okay, mention relationship and they just go NUTS )
Two ways to look at this; by living your 'trading lifestyle' exactly the way you described, you will be able to weed out girls that can't cope pretty fast. The other way to look at it is that you'll burn out way faster by obsessing over markets when you don't have to. Relaxation is a big part of being emotionally healthy which will help you perform well when it comes to actually trading.
Protip- Don't check your phone while your with a date, plain rude. If you have to, wait until she goes to the bathroom or something.