Compiled by a nurse who for many years worked in palliative care, her patients were those who had gone home to die. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient she nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.
Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.
Source: This originated from blog of author Bronnie Ware. Based on this article, Bronnie has released a full-length book. It is a memoir of her own life and how it was transformed based on the regrets of the dying people she cared for. The book is available from her website, and major online bookstores and is called ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing’.
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From an anonymous friend on facebook, I'll answer here as it is relevant.
"your wave catching thread is gigantic, do you have any tips on where to start read about your trading or your current methodology or would you just suggest to grind through the whole thread...?"
That could become a long answer, but the short version is; I had an idea to use "journaling" to help my own trading. I wanted to see if I could explain it well enough that it might be useful. But really, I did not understand it enough yet myself, and so the exercise had purpose, and had results, but not as intended.
"Journaling" at first meant more as a "journalist" than an individual experience. Communicating an idea to an unknown audience. In that I saw I was not really there. And as I saw that, I became more in touch with where I was, why I wanted to trade, the deeper layer of emotions and doubt and ego and persona, and aggression, and all kinds of "things" that are not often enough realized as being trade-result related.
There seems to be this trading IQ, which is our individual capacity to accept trading on a level that will move our results forward. And in the mix of subjects there is motivation, self-worth, self-appreciation, appreciation of outer influences, willingness to step down a notch, or three, tenacity, surrender...
So, to your question, no, reading the whole deal means nothing, other than seeing the shifts and variations and emotions and motions...
A turning point was realizing that my real journey had nothing to do with talking about it. Or, talking was a step, a process, but not the path I was seeking. A transition or bridge to get me from a place I was to someplace else that I wanted to be, and in between, very little I enjoyed.
My current methodology comes from so many methodologies rolled into one final realization, and then nearly abandoned as I fell into another out of some newly communicated thought or mindset. If I had to give it some parameters, it involves 1) Expansion and Contraction, 2) some "mean" to move away from and back towards, 3) some version of a "goal' or "target" that makes the risk versus reward logical, 4) a calmed mind that is more interested in trading properly than making money, 5) multiple timeframes within which to view from the outside and trade from the inside, 6) a change in perception of time , and of opportunity, and of necessity, 7) a decision to live in the trading environment as a means of survival.
None of that is likely to provide any benefit, at least on the surface. And even if for a few moments it feels like it does, it will pass....
Think of your indicators as a language. How long have you been speaking that language? Are you fluent? Is that the best language to communicate through? And you most likely learn several languages. The ultimate goal not really even being to communicate, but to listen.
Last edited by GaryD; December 2nd, 2013 at 12:47 PM.
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I'd consider myself a young guy, I'm still in my 20's, but I undeniably have a learning disability and I always have. I'll be honest, I guess I also have had a short attention span so I like to find the easiest way to solve the most complex of problems. It takes me a long time to read, write, and even setup software because I have this habit of going on tangents figuring out each and every little aspect I think I'll find useful or even looking up words and better words etc. I have to meticulously learn something to grasp it or I'm afraid I'll forget about it and usually I do. Coping skills help a lot when it comes to trading especially limiting time on certain tasks to give balance. The one challenge I have with forums is that the answers to many problems and challenges come 20-50 or sometimes hundreds of pages deep. It's kind of funny when a new comer comes and asks a question that was answered two years ago and they're pretty much handed a book sized thread for an answer because it literally takes that many pages to answer the question because you know the original question can turn into multiple questions. It's hard I know to reduce it all down, but I appreciate it
Last edited by Itchymoku; December 3rd, 2013 at 12:24 AM.
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