self coach trading

June 6th, 2015, 03:55 PM

as i started mixing with live, is like trading 2 differents accounts and get distracted and less focus
day 1 almost hit daily limit and day 2 try to recover something
it is strange, but i fell more pressure on tst, thinking in P&L, and stricts rules
i want to compare both, but it is diffcult at the same time

tst -250 day2
live +600 day4

June 7th, 2015, 12:08 PM

as was happened to me the last years, whenn i was not able to close a loser position, i need to hold the winner position, one thing is good, that it seems go ahead, but i need to pass this stage, i know it works, i have the plan, but i need to execute to pass to the next stage
maybe is not one step straight forward.
maybe can be several steps
i am calm now
i know it works
i know how my instinct mind try to do the opposite
the battlle is between can i do this? or this is where i have reach?
why i can think i can do it?if most do not

I have read today this about the fear, and i can apply to fear to losing the open earnings
what's the solution? I have to get closer to my fears.
Be Very Afraid. (And I'll Stop Being Afraid.)
Face my fears. It's a cliche.
I need to spend time with my fears. Get closer to them. Intensify them.
Only then I will you stop being afraid.
why not try ?i will do

June 13th, 2015, 02:50 AM

this week was full of failures
in all cases i can not follow my plan
in the live test, after overtraded and enter in scalping mode, i ended touching the max dd limit, but overpass the max dll for 3x
what does it mean
1- the tst rule that blocked me on max dll could save me , but in my account, i go deep and exceed the limit
2-my limit is the broker margin limit, then what hapened if i fund with 30k instead of 2k, maybe more deep down, trying to recovering
3-i have the tendency to go to scalp mode when the day start bad, then the limit go down, for example, i start with 500 limit, i lost 200, now my limit is 300, then i have 1 lot, what i will do? scalp, then this circle go, thinking more in the risk, little risk, little win, overtrade, big comision, i know it is bad, but i continue, thinking i can recover little by little with this method, and ended with 20 trades, with no result, no big loss, (except when increase size, desesperately trying to recovery , knowing, i am risking too much for the tiny margin
4 what about the plan, when i read well mkt, i execute well, and the trade go well, what happens?: i exit soon, then i restart the process, but instead of stop i re enter, and then the circle, go to scalping mode starts again
several days i am up 4/5 points(somedays, 10 or more), and , i continue, for more, but, i ended negative(reduce goal?)
5 the reduction of size is not working because the presure with 1 or 2 is the same than 5 or 10, why, not for the money but for the limits, if i have 500 limit or 200 limit, what can i do?, not much, then go to scalping mode, and ...bad
6 after a live failure, i focus on tst, but the last 2 days i start up and ended down, i am thinking when up 300 stop, or go for tiny goals to avoid the downside (i know it is opposite of my plan, is like changing things), why? i think i can not do it with this limits.When i am cold, i think, ok 1 good trade and ok, like yesterday, short 97/target77, good, but i was not able to close at 84 or 8ish, instead of profit 14p or 10p, overtraded 20 trades with a lot of comisions.
trading the noise, all i am doing, all the opposite of my plan, thinking i need to risk less (i hear in my head tigertrader lessons, my plan, my examples)
7 i was thinking to try to save this combine, how?scalping?, against my plan, if i scalp with 2/3 lot with 1p and 2 p target, and runner?, all trades have mfe , maybe i can reduce risk so, grab some tiny$ hear and there, and i will not win big, but maybe it is better than this random flip and flop for nothing, why i would do this?is not better to try to follow my plan, 6p /8p stop loss and learn to hold the winner?and i can reach the goal ?
, well now i down 470 (3l 2w days)then i have 848 max dd for 2 max losing days, it means 240 max dll l per day, 4pmax, almost nothing, then i can made 3 trades max risking 4 p and i need 1 good winner, the other possibility is trying in scalping mode and win 500av in 5 days to rollover and next trying again , 200 p day?in fear to lose mode
8 are tst rules pushing me to trade with fear to lose?are tst rules pushing me to scalping mode? is posible to pass with my plan?
9 can i apply my plan to my live account, with wider limits?
10 how can i learn to hold the winners? holding? seeing $ on the table?
11 tst is cheaper than live, live is the way to learn, $ is limited to learn, pass tst was my goal fopr 2015, as a good step, apply my plan to tst?, apply my plan to live?

these seems severals back steps
but can i think the way is straight forward?

June 13th, 2015, 08:52 AM

i can see in several days, that my first cold analysis was good, but i did not realized on real time of that, and i exit or reverse, and i am fighting overtrading as a crazy
i am debating what to do, if continue with these plan trying to do that and hold
or as i fall quickly in hft micro scalp tasmanian demon mode, try to scalp with so
but this alternative is an old practice , that i have discard it
why appears now again?
because i am seeing i am flip floping, microscalping with random results, no sense of macro situation, and i think , that wait , enter and go for 1 or 2 sout, look better and less riskier than follow the plan with big stop loss, lost, and out
also the conditions with the tst rules are very tight to trade with wide stops
i feel like trapped
in my live test i fall with the same tasmanian demon, instead of trade according my plan
i am not trusting in holding the trade with the tiny rules
i have ended twisting things all the way
I can see severals good things, but most are garbages trades
I was tempted to use again the dom, and i stair at 2tr
to try to reduce risk
i am doing the opposite
uuuuufffffffffffff

June 14th, 2015, 12:13 PM

the difference between the gap of plan and the reality is bigger than i thought
the gap between i thought what s happen and the reality happens is much bigger
i need to incorporate my new confidence in my plan in the daily execution, and i could not do it
the big stone was hold the winner, and how quick can the things turn bad
emotion take over
what have I done?
the journal reviewing was a disaster
i was thinking between go with my plan or start oficially to scalping (as i was doing really out of plan)
evidently making decisions as mkt unfold and under cloud mind is a disaster
long short flip flop, si so add a little dificult
maybe to simplify is to decide a 1 bias, wait and enter ,and hold

how to hold the winner?was my next stage

not exit soon, and start, chasing, flip flop, overtrading, and forget plan?
the main problem i see is going emotionally and lose control, and start doing stupid things forgeting the initial ideas, plan, etc
i repeat old pattern, and i do not how to avoid them
i will try to discover and find a solution
i will do relaxing exercises before to starting, and while i trade i journal my thoughts, my inner battle to discover what happens inside.
main focus on let the trade run as a winner, as my plan said
i will try to keep calm, (breathing exercises frequently to avoid the emotion take over) and if happens ,the goal is to stop as my plan said and not start to overtrading a a crazy
i did not get acomplish both things.hold winner.stop when emotion comes

i understand who shut down the screen and go out, and avoid the risk to twist things, and not a bad idea.

i will apply my plan to combine6/30k day 5 down 450 3L 2 W

and study myself

June 21st, 2015, 07:00 AM

i could not execute my plan, i ended scalping, and when i was losing the maxdd power, it was more difficult and worse the execution
i touch maxdd
once i was out, the tst is not useful when i lose the motivation
i touch mad dll
the last day i did it right, went to the plan and i hold it, adding to winners
i was swithing to scalp mode, when io was tempted for the result of some of them, but only i lose focus
i need to copntinue with my plan, and try to execute good trades
without room to work is not possible
i fall easily in emotion state and then i am not able to execute neither thinking objectively
i lose the better chances because i was miopic and did not realize where i was trading
i think i need to continue practice trying to execute the plan
and to avoid the pressure of 10 days and the little maxdd, i will practice on 150k continous combine
using small size and try to hold the nice trades, adding to them,
i see is the only solution, it is possible , i know to get a big winning, and without the pressure of 10 days, it is not an issue when i can trade, every day, and is not a problem the last days when i am arriving to the 9k goal.
the problem is the 4k5 i have to play with them, if it s start to shrink too much, then is not possible to trade well thinking in that .
could be a good idea to start small and slow, and wait for the best chances with high prob to be a nice . i would like to be able to buy the BTFD
my worse enemy is fall in emotion revenge overtrade flip flop state
then could be interesting stay in 1 side, no counter trend, no flip flop
i am doing my realxations exercise daily and visualization in the good things well executed, let see if they can help me in stay calm, also i will use a 5min alarm to check my emotionally state
also i am thinking to turn it off the 2tr, because i want to stay and hold but i am watching a small tf
i continue trying
i need to find and hold the nice trades, they save me and i need to save them

June 28th, 2015, 01:39 PM

it was interesting the recovery from the drawdown, and some trades i was given a nice chance to be bigger winners, but i continue got trapped on every trap
the cont comb is working because on day 5 there s no pressure, and i can focus on trading
i fall again in a recovery mode, finishing overtrading and increae the lose, working on that
and the main focus on hold the winner
but i debate myself taking out something from the table, seeing my target at 85 1 point from the low

June 30th, 2015, 03:25 AM

i made a right reading, nice position sizing short 6 at 81, but horrible exit soon and not holding, the prize could be fantastic
240p 12k
that is the key, stay and hold the winners
but how can you know it?
the other day i did not so and let a lot on table
today i so a lot
and lose the big prize
difficult compromize
nice thing: this trend i was not on the wrong side, and that it deserves a party
on the track again

July 2nd, 2015, 11:02 AM

when i was reading my previous post assesing how i am doing, i was thinking in 2 things:first i was approaching to my dead line of 5k, my history showme that i could never pass that pnl, each time i reach it i fall back, then i think could be intetresting to take it seriously, and maybe stop to monday to wait greece, and rest some time. the maxdd is the same, the difference come when i overpass the maxdd of 4k5 and have more room to trade.
2 days without meditating, severals days without thinking in my max dll, some overconfidence is building.
i know my overnigt trade was impulsive with out time, also i thought it was a loser (it did not because instead of stop for 2tick i set a scale in)
but now i see i lost the cold sight, enter in emotion state
the first steop was to trade after sleeping 3 hours
not stop when i see i have had luck with the mistake of SI
not identify the choppfest and get trapped
buy top
add more size than planned
not take care the limit of maxdll
not stop when i realized i am in emotional state (i think this is the most risk of all), or second after the touch limits
what happened if i am not trading with sim with tst? continue losing probably to may max dd

i can hold some nice winners, also more important ,let open some nice interesting opportunities to let become in big w
i realize i cut it soon but i need to be aware to let it run
the time hold them are going high, nice
the cold general trades ideas i think are fine, when i touch hot, worse
how can i recover from -2k5 to +4k was excellent
i jump from , ok i need a little each day to, i want it more
i use more size than planned

on july6th i will start my reaload1 of the continue combine
and i need to continue to focus on hold the winners but adding the control to shut off with a big kick on my a.. when start emotionally, flipping is a sign
and stop for 15 min after a loser can help
if a nor made the relaxation, not start to trade
and use the scaling plan from tst (anyway i will need to do it early or later)
do not forget that now i have time
and if the things go bad, please stop do not touch limits (it cost me 2es point)

good to continue it is clear that is difficult to stop me, the resilience can help me to continue with this hard journal

July 2nd, 2015, 11:32 AM

1-i want to trade to earn more money with less time/effort and live without the obligations of a job, having the freedom to choose places, and when time is off and use the money for the purpose / things i have planned.
2 i am planning to do it passing the 150ktst tests and get funded and increase the account size , funding my self and increase account size and yearly goals.
3 this year get funded, next year funding my self and 2017 start to wire out
4 i want to do it because now with my job i am limited to do all the things a want to do
5 after i get it i will be realized and more happy and relaxed than i am now
6 not only me, my wife, my 4 kids, parents, friends, and others will be benefits also with my sucess as a trader
7 my wife because she love that we can move to our own farm, work less , travel more, more economic relax, and enjoy much more. My family especially my kids because they benefit from the help i will provide them. Also my parents, they will be able to come here, and friends.
8 My wife and my kids are interested in supporting my trading career.And of course me.

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