i was thinking about yesterday´s trades and it was very good to keep the resilience to stand up and recover twice from-7, from -12, also was a struggled day.
and today was incredible, my termomether of overconfidence was heating up, i know i need to be very cautious about this.
I was done in both account in less than an hour
i have accomplished the plan and stopped. well done
i have done the pre market prep.,print the risk control sheet, the risk checks, check the levels , done the relaxation exercises, re read the rules that i have fixed in front of me between 3 screens, well done!
I am on the track of becoming a consistency winner
i am sure that i will get the first recovery from the top, on the TS account starting balance$2000 i have reached almost $4000 and slip down to$2300, i have never could recover before from that kind of situation, but today i feel i can get it, without any kind of doubt
little by little ,yes, i need to understand it is a differente vision of the money that i can take out from the ,market, but it works.
the former wild swings i use to have in the past, they did not worked,

i can see the changes from oct 21, i made a click, and the chart


ACCORDING the 38 steps to become a trader, i markup the step where i think i am:

1. We accumulate information--buying books, going to seminars and researching.
2. We begin to trade with our 'new' knowledge.
3. We consistently 'donate' and then realize we may need more knowledge or information.
4. We accumulate more information.
5. We switch the commodities we are currently following.
6. We go back into the market and trade with our 'updated' knowledge.
7. We get 'beat up' again and begin to lose some of our confidence. Fear starts setting in.
8. We start to listen to 'outside news' & other traders.
9. We go back into the market and continue to donate.
10. We switch commodities again.
11. We search for more information.
12. We go back into the market and continue to donate.
13. We get 'overconfident' & market humbles us.
14. We start to understand that trading success fully is going to take more time and more knowledge then we anticipated.
15. We get serious and start concentrating on learning a 'real' methodology.
16. We trade our methodology with some success, but realize that something is missing.
17. We begin to understand the need for having rules to apply our methodology.
18. We take a sabbatical from trading to develop and research our trading rules.
19. We start trading again, this time with rules and find some success, but overall we still hesitate when it comes time to execute. We start trading again, this time with rules and find some success, but overall we still hesitate when it comes time to execute.
20. We add, subtract and modify rules as we see a need to be more proficient with our rules.
21. We go back into the market and continue to donate.We go back into the market and continue to donate.

22. We start to take responsibility for our trading results as we understand that our success is in us, not the methodology.

23. We continue to trade and become more proficient with our methodology and our rules.
24. As we trade we still have a tendency to violate our rips and our results are still erratic.
25. We know we are close.
26. We go back and research our rules.
27. We build the confidence in our rules and go back into the market and trade.
28. Our trading results are getting better, but we are still hesitating in executing our rules.
29. We now see the importance of following our rules as we see the results of our trades when we don't follow them.
30. We begin to see that our lack of success is within us (a lack of discipline in following the rules because of some kind of fear) and we begin to work on knowing ourselves better.
31. We continue to trade and the market teaches us more and more about ourselves.
32. We master our methodology and trading rules.
33. We begin to consistently make money. We begin to consistently make money.
34. We get a little overconfident and the market humbles us.
35. We continue to learn our lessons.
36. We stop thinking and allow our rules to trade for us (trading becomes boring, but successful) and our trading account continues to grow as we increase our contract size.
37. We are making more money then we ever dreamed to be possible.
38. We go on with our lives and accomplish many of the goals we had always dreamed of

i think that the exercises to found inside me what problems i have and write about them, and talked about them, help me a lot to do a click

how is possible that i saw the market as aplace i can lose every single day and get locked, and now a place where i can pullout the money everyday?

its all in the mind

well i know i am practicing, in sim , and the real test wil be live, but, when i learned to play golf, how many hours i spent in the driving range?, play , practice, play practice, up to i realize, ok now i can have fun with this

i imaging that this will be similar, now, i am feeling, thinking, all in alignment, that i can do it.

the results will talk for itself, but the long term results

Do something different! You seem to be driven to trade live when you are not yet consistent. Trade on sim until you have a system that works, only then tackle live trades with their psychological add-ons.

Don't give up, but also don't keep giving your money away. The market is not a charity.

Good luck.