i understand now, the difficult that was to try to practice ans suppose to learn with a lot of fear, and anxiety, and revenge, and losing a lot of money, it was a nightmare
the las days that i doing the things calm, and i watching what i am doing , i am more relaxing, i am starting to feel good with my practice, and i am feeling that i am learning and i am for the right path, i am trust that i will get it
is this other illusion?
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i repeated yesterday, the job to keep the risk at-3, the target to +3
i have had a good execution, and i surprised myself, i try to focus with open mind on the market waiting anything
also to exit if it is not working
i was wondering if it a lucky winner strikes ?
today i start to try to find old problems of my life to realize, how can manage them to increase the self stem to avoid the unconscious errors
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the 24 oct trades were fantastic again, i cancell practically fear and hope, and my self confidence keep ing going up, it looks i made a break out of my self confidence.
I stay focus on the market almost all the time, the target work , the risk work, the scracth work, is it possible?
i was working on the list of bloody problems of my life and i was surprised the amount of them, i was wondering if they will block that i keep tons of money that i have planned to extract from the market, if it possible to de-energizer them?
i was thinking in what s the problem to see the market go away without me
las year i was waiting a big move to try to catch it , i never could,
then i was feel bad to loss that move, but now i am thinking, the market always is moving, and with this moving i can extract the money from them, little bit 3 to 3 tick
then, whats the problem that the market move away, no problem.
i do not to want to try to catch up a big move like 1640 to 1740 100 es point +400tick for $5000
or teh crude from 113 to 93 for +2000 or $20.000
because it is almost imposible do it with a little risk and that mean only1 trade
then if i am looking for 1.000.000 trades and
if I became a consitently succesfully trader" with 3$ o 4$ per trade then i get $4M
independently what the mkt do
that give peace of mind, no put me in a hurry
release to wait for the killing as i expected before.
now i have fear of my overconfidence take over..warning
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1. Develop an edge that fits your persona and trading style.
2. Develop a trading plan around that edge.
3. Trade that plan every day and journal results.
4. Look for continuous improvement opportunities each day on yourself and your plan and journal them.
5. Make improvements over time based on journal continuous improvement opportunities.
When you can take a small account in SIM(say $5000) and double it in less than a month by risking no more than 2% per trade.. you will be ready to trade live and many of your psychology problems will be gone.. Psychology problems generally come from a lack of confidence in oneself. This can come from a lack of confidence in one's method . The best way to change this is to practice your plan each day until you are confident in it and yourself.. You will become confident in it when it works.. so improving it objectively over time is important. This can take a long time... months or years.. so buckle up...
BTW, be brutually honest in your journal. Your ego has a way of protecting you and your self esteem and will lead you to lie about your results and your plan.. making them look better than they really are.. If your plan sux, it sux. If you cannot control yourself, you cannot control yourself. Be honest about it and understand why there are deficiencies and fix them or you will not succeed.. Your ego has done a good job of protecting your self esteem in the rest of your life, but it will destroy your trading.. Something you need to recognize..
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if i trade 20 rt the tradestation soft if free, then i was planning to take this live test,
only with thinking in that my heart is going up.bumbum
i was working on weekend , on mind exercises, with visualization exercises, first relax, second recreate the scene that i want, i this case, i am trading perfectly
and thinking to relax to relieve the fear, greed, and think in the no importance of 1 trade
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at the begining i feel nervous and with anxiety, and also i was hesitating , overthinking, i could not manage the fear, i can not center my mind in it is not a problem what happen with this trade, because, yes, i will lost the money and my exercise to try to earn the chart fees , doing 20 rt, for what?
i start losing 2 oportunities because my hesitation, then i realize that i need to focus, i start with losing trades as you can check on my journal, also , on the sim acount on s5, it hapen the same, i satrt losng, my fear affect to me on both accounts, also i took my risk on the sim.
little by little i start to feel better and focus my mind on the market and forget about teh result
was hard, and finlly i took 11 trades for +$4
that is under the sim result , but i made errors, exit soon, lost chances,
but one thing taht add to my worried hea was the difference how i was filled on the live than a sim account
terrible difference, i have not taken in account, because with 3 tick move, 1 tick it is a lot, and for example, 1 trade tocuch the target +3 in sim get filled, winner, the live account, touch the target , not get filled and come back...
on the sim i got +11tick
there s a several scracth trades that i could done it because the easy way of sim, but i do not think i can repeat it on the live account
thenthat thougts, start to eatme the head, and i am not in good feeling to trade.
one posibility is to target to +2, but that alters all the process.
then...if continue with sim, it is irreal, if it goes live to test.. i take a risk to los the money to learn wtf
also the s5 /jugswa/oec dom was very different with nt7/jigsaw/zenfire , then add more variable to hesitate
i need to solve this...
i think i will continue, with my 9 trades that i need to accomplish with the minimum trades with trades station
and also, i have realize that in the sim , the cost per rt contrats is 2.6 and the live is 3.56, that alter the result , in the scalping, results i need >1000 to get 2.46
20per day 400 month 3 lots
i need time to get there i think
at the end of the day , i was more relax with my live test
but , i trade more hours than normal, my plan was to trade from 8.20 to 1130 et
i need to stop after that, because, i got exhausted, so tired, my eyes, my body.. not good
i need to focus again in the execution and forget the result, also i can fail the live test
one good thing was that i start with losing trades, but continue with my plan , trust in that, and finally get the result
because if doubt take over, bad thing, (but i have doubt..)
when i see the eq curve of yesterday was good the recover, accomplish almost with plan, and no go dip on the hole try to recover as a crazy
another thing that happened was i exit, but after that the target was hitted, then if i would waited, iit could be ok
one thing about the filled live, i use to enter in one way , puting the order i wait the mkt come to me, but in thios way i lost several cahníces to get in: chase o left? think in thta, chase is bad, left go also...
focus and concentration to wait and execute the trades
dont expect nothing, anything can happen
pre attention to the difference of filled in live it is more hard to scrath and enter