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self coach trading

  #131 (permalink)
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lost the way

yesterday 18 feb, i started a strange behavior, i close the swing trade nq in TS, and start to make chasing trades, most of them bad, unless i close the losers...
Also in S5 it look like i forgot everything
i need to refocus, review the trades, the plan, the videos,

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself
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  #132 (permalink)
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behavior 19

i hold a big loser with zn and let it open , this time with lucky because come back all the way to be, but instead of stop
i continue, and i put in another losing trade holding and not close it as a plan say

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself
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  #133 (permalink)
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behavior 20 feb


i forgot to trade only 1 lot, also i did not calculate the max dd foir the day, and i lost more than the plan, put a lot of pressure at near the max DD, with not room for next day
i am risking too much, i didn not respect risk, then boom,
in es i start to focus on take the 6 ticks as planned, but in the end, i let a loss go bigger, also av down, (finally i take 8 tick stop loss as planned)but with too much risk

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself
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  #134 (permalink)
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behavior 21 feb

i put a lot of effort and focus to wait for a setup, almost with out money to trade ($134)
take in es pullback ,take +6
but after that ,when i see es down and zn up, i decide to take +1tick 2tick and 3 tick out with 9 lot in zn, too much risk,
zn down, and i do not want to close it because it meadn the end of combi
i cancell the oco and wait,
i know i am risking more now, and i also i go to a meeting and let it alone the trade
i imagining zn go to 127 with 9 lots!!!
well i close for +4*9
and later i overtrade with es, (i forgot all tyhe focus of the first hour)
i add a new parameter for score the trades, risk respect,rr, it deduct 3 points
because it doesnot mak sense risk too much and get a tiny result, and also i can blownup
the question is , can i get a winner with risk respect?it is the only way to last i think

finally this week i made:
in ES
1 big loss
2 LL but with no risk respect

in ZN

2 BL big loss
2 LL but with no risk respect

then 6 high risk of loss trades

for the next week i want:
0 BL trades
1 LL with no respect

respect the profit
to take +6 in es
and to take +1 and +2 in zn

i need to go away from the bottom

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself
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  #135 (permalink)
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24 feb and again high risk behavior

i wait a lot for enter , i do not wanted stay in a hurry, or not focus, i do not have enough room to fail
i got 2 b/o winning trades in es, and 1 in zn that i have the first sccale out and then stop out, and later 2 trades with 2 scales done and the 3rd i close quick.
also i made a trade in nq and take some profit in ts.(first i think let it run for the infinitum.., but then i realized better to take some profit)
all trades were 100% risk respect ok
i think i was done for the day. later on the close i made this mistake:
i was waiting after the sellof a high close, when it seem to come , i long 1849.75, but start to fall, i move the stop under the support, instead of 8 tick stop loss, or better to close it , i realized that it looks like break down, instead of close and reverse or sell the break, i end holding this open los trade, the same with a long nq in ts, i was imagining thye all times high, instead of distribution of OTF, then again, i put the risk, or not respect the risk, and trough out my daily job. i got away $600 for my ma dd, and now i have the risk, also, i could not take the fresh opportunities that come.
why i did not take the loss?
first , i think, oh, 8 tick loss turn down my +12wining that i have,
thenj i realized that i did not think that 8 tick stop loss were not well located respect the price action, and then i re located, but now, i have 12 tick of sloss, then my reasoning were worst, "now i am giving back my 2 winning trades wel worked this morning..."
and then say, ok, i cancell the orders and hold for the ,"i think 100% prob that new highs are made?????"again the same bs.maybe can happen, but ths score of this trade is 0, put the risk, i set a stop 1828 under 1832, but is big risk for nothing.
with little risk, is possible to win?
with high risk is possible to get big loses
i do not know the result of this trade but this can kill me, for sure, then i need to avoid this, in hindsight, i would like to have 8 tick loss.instead of this situation

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself
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  #136 (permalink)
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trade management 25 feb & more risk

it look like i have the special mode that i bought top on the previous day 49.75 and average down buying bottom the other day 42.0, and exit sucesfully from this procedure, but what if i wait for the bottom of the net day and buy 2 and enjoy big winning?
also i can avoid the risk holding loser.
yesterday i save myself twice,after the rescue of the opentrade, later i bought another spike on top, 48.25and repeat the same scene at close av down at 41.50
both cases the same, i enter, i was wrong, i hold the loser, later i average down and fixed, but i lost teh chance to win, and hold risk, i fix the loser and finish +35

the same happen with an zn trade, start at 21 with 3lot for s out, and when go bad,reach 28 i cancell the orders and hold open...i wake up this morning, almost i close it for -5 but ..now i am waiting, this time i did not average, but if i did at 28 now this could be a winner

average is valid way to improve the entry?or is a crazy tool that increase risk?

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself
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  #137 (permalink)
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behavior at feb2014

near to reach 2 years trading
i was trading all february live and i use to do it, the fear has gone, i am running the combi test, and i am near the max dd in one account
i trading small to grind up, and then boom ,down again.
i am defending some positions average down and holding for a move of 10 point to recoup, and i was wondering why i could not hold directly moves of 10 points?
yesterday i was hold +3 almost 9points
i think i only need 1 move or two.
how can i get it? and more important how stay with the move?
yesteraday i was short -3@42 but i finish losing i did not hold for 1832.
in other account, on ts, i am practicing some opportunities trades, waiting for break outs, in cl, gc, nq, less trades, but better results.
on the other hand, es let me overtrades much more than zn, but look like theres more opportunities, but i did not get that moves.
if i compare the zn and es ,i can see i feed the broker with es
and i think the only way to get the target of+8500 is increasing the size, but each time i use big size, the risk , kill me when i try to addin to avoid to start with high risk, almost come back b/e

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself
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  #138 (permalink)
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another blown up

well, it reach the day, i reach the max dd on my combi test, i know i have a little room to trade 300, i made a quick scalp, but the bad process was in this way:
yesteraday i was long at 36&42, (imagining +40x3lot=120point=6000,...)today i saw gap up 55 and grinding up, i was wondering if with the open maybe go down, i short 59, add 64 ave 61, i got mfe+8 i did not exit, go 64 come back a couple of times.
when spike up trough my 64 lot, i reach mae-8, that was the first key mistake.
i wait for a down.i did not want to take the loss and fail the combi....
the second mistake was with the putin missile, it reach to 66...i have the same chance ,also i think, maybe is better reverse, and go long, i think, not my biases for short....
(aos i close a short nq trade 3718-3713, in TS)because a saw the fake down move, but i continue, i do not want to close it ans assume i lost, because i surpasse the max limit.
in the other hand i was holding a bought at top +3zn 124.22.5, for the same reason, i dd not take the -9tick loss and hold -90tick(i am in yet)
i was sufffering all day, watch ing me without exit, and now i taking more risk than planned.
conclusion:again, i know that i only need one big fail, and i had it

on the TS test, strange but i done well, some cl trades ,all momentum opportunities(but if i was hold the first one...could be+140)
yesterday i say, i do not have fear to trade live , but i need to avoid the big losses, the same problem than ever.

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself
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  #139 (permalink)
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5march behavior

was a suffering day, i try to hedge the open s5 3x zn in ts, but i fail
alos i let a cl open trade this night , another suffering situation,
i was not able to take profit in winner positions, and was wondering about what is better, i a fighting between, take quick profit, take less or more risk, be mecanical or ,subjective, i realize that a couple of trades could result in huge outcome, but i need to hold, not close it.
thenn, is it risk i take if a play the earning money?or i considerer taking the profit and strat again?it look more comfortable little profit, but i lose the big moves...
now i want to exit fo the open pos.
i hedge on the TS and exit on fomc move?but is risky to exit only one leg,
or it is much better not stay on this worry posiitons?close quick and next?
or is better applying some stric set of rules always the same?
with open positions staring at screen all the day it not look like the solution, and interfere with my life a lot

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself
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  #140 (permalink)
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blackfriday 2, 1losingZN trade -237tick,double max DD &how break everything again


i had the opportunity, but i lost it, each time that i took more risk, or when i thought, mmmh, better close it, or not let open, or specially when I did not take -9tick and finally took -237.
the list is long , i know the limit for zn was 124.06.0, but i let it continue down
i had 3 days to think, when i was in the bathroom, i thought "come on, go and close it, accept the loss"..."i hold, and i hold"
yesterday i was trading cl, (with s5 fail the combi, and with the open trade zn, waiting..waiting.crazy
the idea to hedge the s5 with TS, to lock some loss, finished with 2 big loss in both account, but not because fail the hedge, i was long in both, and in TS without stop, and this morning previous nfp, also i could exit with some profit, but i let it go to the news, and nfp, again, in less of 2 sec,bum
in s5 yesterday was thinking to exit and forget, but not, i want to recover, and finally, not only not recover, i duplicate the loss.
the combi, i have failed because i reach the max dd, but i not close all the position, i let the open trade to recover? crazy
but i got in 1 day another max dd

to make the things worse, i decide(being hot, watching the zn fall, and nq skyrocket, in the next 5 min of news"ok, now i will stop, but, while the next month i spend reviewing all the journal, i put a long trade now in nq for 1 month , and sure it will be better than my daytrade, i hit at mkt, (with a wide stop and go out to pickup my kids to school)

surpise when i come back (i was thinking, o when nq will be at 4500) and i see, i bougth 4 ticks from top, and down 50points!!)

the nigthmare continue

i reverse the trade, o noh bounce! lose, reverse again

and in zn something similar

combining the secuences of bad behaviors, on top of the zn loss, and TS
finishing almost with -$6000

and i watch the combi and it is incredible the secuences, when i reach to max dd, the loses increase geometrically in 2 days

how is posible?
with the open position around -1400, i overpass the dd, the combi failed, i say ,the only way to solve this is with a luck, (putin or something like that)
is this rejection from 12328?
this morning i think to set stop at 1 tick below, but then i say ,maybe in news, spike down, and up again, i took the risk as low probable(it was my hope)
i set up a stop loss at 1231500, as an emergency to avoid blown up the account, but today nfp, it reached it, i can t believe it, dissapair the money in 2 sec,
the main problem, is how i can hold this loser and put in risk and lose this money for nothing, because unless with the dd of combi i was practicing and learning something.
i would like to learn definitevely that for this way is not the path to become in a succesfull trader
i would like to remember the pain i feel in this moment, the frustration i feel, the embarrasement of this behavior, how ashamed i feel, and how easy i trough away my job.
In other hand, i am facing the harder part of this fight with me, and my unabilty to do what is better for me.
yesterday i say ,how the trading in this way interfere with my life, job, family, and today is worse, because, i have the same problem, but with a huge DD, in both accounts, and the recovery way is heavier, and in a better case, long.
what i learned:
i can lose more than i imagine and more quicker than i imagine
bad things can happen and faster than i think
(avoid trading not taking care of risk and thinking:do it)
not take the little losses ,could become in a big lose
holding the loser, make me unavailable for the market
the way up now is harder
i am very affected for the losses
i have the illusion that when avoid to realize the loss, could be better (and it is the opposite)
i am very very affected when i have a big loss
i start trading out of plan to try to recover, and make the hole deep
i took huge risk, thinking, maybe could be good (and not the opposite)
it is very easy to jump from control to uncontrol
once in uncontrol zone ,the things speedup and increase the uncontrol
the revenge trades appears
the trades for trade without thinking appears
all this things i know before but i could not take care

this night almost i let nq long open again, hoping for a gap up to save me!!!!
unless i re think and i close it.

i need to step back, slow down, down size, apply the plan, not entry in the uncontrol zone, and accept that i need little step by little step.

understand finally that the risk is serious, and the loss posibility is a real posibilty.
the money disapear, out, no more.
it hurt?
pain?
better, not forget.
close the losers!not hold them.
take care of the equity!

the positive thing is if i compare my behavior in a daily similar situation 1,5 years ago, is, in that moment i did not know what happen&continue up to blown up completely , now unless i know what happen.


and the second good thing, i have the money to recover(not reach to 0).

do i need a cooler period?
can i start next week?

if i start now i have the risk to want to revenge

if i cool i have the risk to forget what happen

the ideal could be, start ,not revenge, not forget and trade the plan,little by little, cold head, take loses, and try to the point of 6marhc again
we can see if:
how long will be?
or will be?

La lucha es de igual a igual contra uno mismo
The fight is fair against oneself

Last edited by alejo; March 8th, 2014 at 05:58 AM.
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