Most of these stories have to do with three things:
(a) believing you can predict the market
(b) interpreting current market behavior in terms of what you have observed in the past (this is a subset of (a))
(c) allowing emotion to affect your trading
Correcting these three areas eliminates most of what holds you back to being a successful long-term trader. The only thing that remains is a reasonably accurate assessment of price behavior, which is not difficult at all to have and does not necessarily need to be the same as another trader's assessment. There are different interpretations of price behavior and as long as each is "reasonable" then a sufficient edge is in place to provide the success.
Regarding (a) and (b): you cannot have expectation of price. You can only have an assessment of general price behavior: that is, higher-probability versus lower-probability setups. You must always be willing to concede that any trade can behave in a way that defies the probability.
Regarding (c), you must eliminate this. If you allow emotion to interfere with your trading, chances are pretty much nonexistent that you will be successful over the long term. If you are the type of person that allows emotion to interfere, I suspect that correcting this behavior can be pretty easy with the right "therapy" if you will. I'm not a psychologist, but I imagine it would be a straightforward "behavior-adjustment" that a competent psychologist would know how to do.
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Started out about 15 years ago with Ken Roberts. Had the independent s.o.b. blood type. Received a subscription to the twice weekly commodity charts. Learned a lot about brokers very quickly. Being a newbie, they could smell fresh blood. Took a while to find a good one. Not impressed with K.R. but got the big picture. Haven't made any money, but still trying to figure it out after two years. More blundering. After a year of part time learning/trading was finally able to break even. Got a computer for data. All of a suddenly things started to click and was making money, not a lot but something. Found out when globex started up, that trading markets not exclusive to the pits were bad for my account. Almost went thru an account that way. Also made every mistake conceivable at least once....
Got tired of trading and working part time. 30 + years of electrical work got the boot. Started to learn Market Profile. Was working at it for about 50 hours a week for a year and half before able to make money on sim and break even on live. A friend told me about Shadow Traders and it didn't take long to plug up the holes in my system. Making a living at trading.
What I've learned about myself and trading. I don't have a crystal ball. It's 70% mental, 15% money management, and 15% technique. It's amazing how you can be wrong so often and consistently. My attention span wanders, do 1 min charts. Keep a 30 min up also to keep me honest. Works great for me. Don't have the patience to watch one market go sideways, 3 markets, no problem. I scalp with runners. The simpler the chart and system the better. I know my markets. I'm fortunate my mind won't let me touch a mouse unless the brain knows what I'm doing. Only trade when in my mental "groove". Gotta keep learning, always looking for nuggets of knowledge. Still consider myself as a beginner. Took quite a while to get the right level of attitude (aggression level) for trading. Learned how to trade 8 markets, run 3 platforms, and have become a want to be geek.
I'm very lucky to have a wife that has supported me.
Ten traders will trade 11 different ways. They are all right. I have nothing but respect for anyone who can do this.
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You can't be trying to predict price. You're going to be wrong half the time. You can only make probability guesses as to price areas. "Price should go into area X before it goes the other way into area Y."
As poster above said, the trick to trading is to make money consistently (over the long term) in spite of being wrong consistently.
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your story honestly is very scary and I feel very sorry for you. On the other hand I think you are on perfect position to become a succesful trader. You have lost so much that the succes must and will come in your way. hold up there! I am a beginer trader, or better to say future trader (have blown my account twice.) want to start live in February.
Here are some thoughts from my experiance. The most I am controling is my emotions, I know the feeling of beeing scared, or upset or nervous. So I do this, I have Onenote open and I write down anything I feel, starting with things what have influence on me, like fight with girlfriend or bad mood because of bad sleep, or bad wheater what makes me tired... In case of opening position, I am writing again, everything about it why open, why that or that direction, why I feel how I feel. At the end of day I am giving myself grade like in shool. Try this book ''Trading Coach " Brett N. Steenbarger is about how to become a psychologist to yourself. One more thought if I can, I would never buy a system, because trading is somethig that express your individuality, something that you feel is yours it came from your self. something you belive in.
Sorry about my english it isn't my native language
That sucks man. Honestly there ought to be a manual that tells people the results of two weeks, or one month, or even 6 months of trading is rather meaningless. It's not time that matters, it's the number of trades, and a small number of trades (think 500 round turns) do not give an accurate picture.