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CEO of J.P. Morgan' replies to a pretty girl seeking a RICH husband
Started:September 12th, 2013 (02:50 AM) by torroray Views / Replies:604 / 5
Last Reply:September 14th, 2013 (03:39 AM) Attachments:0

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CEO of J.P. Morgan' replies to a pretty girl seeking a RICH husband

Old September 12th, 2013, 02:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
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CEO of J.P. Morgan' replies to a pretty girl seeking a RICH husband

CEO of J.P. Morgan' replies to a pretty girl seeking a RICH husband

THE LIGHTER SIDE A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

Iím going to be honest of what Iím going to say here.

Iím 25 this year. Iím very pretty, have style and good taste.

I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above.

You might say that Iím greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married?

I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those Iíve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit.

If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

Iím here humbly to ask a few questions:

1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2) Which age group should I target?

3) Why most wives of the richest are only average-looking? Iíve met a few girls who donít have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend?

(my target now is to get married)


Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan (or someone who signed off as him):

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that Iím not wasting time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain.

Put the details aside, what youíre trying to do is an exchange of ďbeautyĒ and ďmoneyĒ : Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, thereís a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you canít be prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. Itís not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worse 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a ďtrading positionĒ.

If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or ďleasedĒ.

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income.This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.


J.P. Morgan CEO

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Old September 12th, 2013, 10:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Thanks torroray,

This is quite funny!

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Old September 12th, 2013, 11:01 AM   #3 (permalink)
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as if, there is no logic when a man starts thinking with his d...

If it floats, flies, or fornicates...probably better to lease.

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Old September 13th, 2013, 08:27 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Funny -

She's got 'use me' written all over her.

She'll be in rehab within 10 years gtd.

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Old September 13th, 2013, 09:30 AM   #5 (permalink)
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This was from a craiglist ad a few years ago that a woman posted. A random investment banker replied. not the CEO of JP Morgan Chase.

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Old September 14th, 2013, 03:39 AM   #6 (permalink)
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😂😂😂 Amazing!

What I can not believe is how this girl can say that... I can not imagine how empty is her. Her goal is to get married with a rich guy, but hey, the minimun is required. Ridiculous!

Good reply, maybe not enough for such a stupid question...

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