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Family has run out of money
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Family has run out of money

  #11 (permalink)
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mattz View Post
I don't know what goes through the head of a person who resorts to this.
One thing for sure, they don't think about optimizing a sales copy on their sign.

I am always approached by people in the parking lots who "ran out of gas", homeless who need food and would most likely waste it on booze, or others who drag a dollar or two out of my pocket because they have a pitch...and I still give it to them.

This is all out of sympathy, mercy and above a belief that it all comes back.
Not saying this is the right way...but this is me.

Agreed.

The fact I was still thinking about it last night I think demonstrates that I wish I had turned around and pulled over.

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  #12 (permalink)
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I am very wary of panhandlers but if this makes you feel bad, buy them something they need.

What do you think their response would have been if you'd stopped and asked them if you could grab them something from the shops that they need? Would they have accepted your gracious offer or told you that "actually, we just need money". Who knows?

I remember walking to Starbucks one Sunday morning with the wife, along one of the areas with the highest real estate prices in Bangkok. Some poor woman came up crying with her daughter in tow, explaining how her husband had a mistress in the area, that she'd been to confront him and that he'd kicked her out and they didn't even have money for the bus home.

My wife went straight for her purse but as cruel as it sounds, I stopped her and asked her to think for a second... was it really likely that a relatively poor looking pan-handler like this had a husband who in turn was having an affair with a woman in perhaps the most wealthy part of Bangkok? Poor woman was almost salivating at the site of the wife's purse and gave me the evil eye when it went back in the bag.

Next Sunday, she approached us again.... To be honest, after 7 days in the area, I think she should have walked home.

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  #13 (permalink)
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mattz View Post
What if he borrowed the car from a friend to get there?
What if this guy and his wife work 3 jobs so their kids could have the
same things as the other kids whether iPhone, iPads, etc?
What if his wife or him are sick and cant afford medical bills? and yes...they ran out of money.

Personal stories don't go on signs.

Think of the psychology of a person who has to resort to put his kids and wife on the street to gather money

I hope G-d helps this family whatever their issue was.

Matt

What if they are a bunch of pan-handlers and do this on a regular basis?

I don't mind giving money, just not to professional beggars. If a family runs out of money in the US, aren't there places they can turn for benefits and food stamps? You do have a social safety net there, right?

Out here we have people in abject poverty. There's one guy - he can't be over 3 feet tall, he's got a hunched back and deformed hips and legs. He can just about walk. He stands by the side of the road at a set of traffic lights every day selling flower garlands. Without fail, I always stop, say hello and buy some flowers, paying over the odds every time.

So you tell me this - if some severely disabled guy can buy Jasmine and other flowers in the morning, pack them in his cooler and eek out a living, why can't the head of that family put down the sign and go do something to make some money for his family?

And it has to be said - any family that is out begging whilst one of them had in their hands an $800 phone, that's a bunch of people with their priorities wrong.

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  #14 (permalink)
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Agree Pete, in some parts of Asia there are syndicates of pan handlers....this is their work. They're hired by these knuckleheads to beg for money and they push the real needy out of their territories or even use physical harm to protect their turf.

The one's i do give money to are the guys and gals that are trying to earn a bit by playing the flute or other cool Chinese instruments...at least they're having a go.

Unfortunately sometimes the ones that really need it, or are going hungry have too much pride to ask for help.

One day when i'm back in civilization and retired i want to be able to give some of my time and volunteer to give back as well.

I had a sponsor child in Vietnam for over ten years, that's something I'd so again as well, through an Australian organization.

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  #15 (permalink)
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DionysusToast View Post
What if they are a bunch of pan-handlers and do this on a regular basis?

I don't mind giving money, just not to professional beggars. If a family runs out of money in the US, aren't there places they can turn for benefits and food stamps? You do have a social safety net there, right?

Out here we have people in abject poverty. There's one guy - he can't be over 3 feet tall, he's got a hunched back and deformed hips and legs. He can just about walk. He stands by the side of the road at a set of traffic lights every day selling flower garlands. Without fail, I always stop, say hello and buy some flowers, paying over the odds every time.

So you tell me this - if some severely disabled guy can buy Jasmine and other flowers in the morning, pack them in his cooler and eek out a living, why can't the head of that family put down the sign and go do something to make some money for his family?

And it has to be said - any family that is out begging whilst one of them had in their hands an $800 phone, that's a bunch of people with their priorities wrong.

Who are YOU to judge what people should and shouldn't do when they hit poverty?
Life is not based and your value and judgments system, rather on individual moral compass that we all carry individually. I choose to believe that if this family had to put a show, they would do a better "job".

"social safety net"....shows how much you know how about our system here and the "benefits" for the deprived.

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Last edited by mattz; August 24th, 2013 at 10:51 AM.
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  #16 (permalink)
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mattz View Post
Who are YOU to judge what people should and shouldn't do when they hit poverty?
Life is not based and your value and judgments system, rather on individual morale compass that we all carry individually. I choose to believe that if this family had to put a show, they would do a better "job".

"social safety net"....shows how much you know how about our system here and the "benefits" for the deprived.

Most people give to beggars because it makes them feel better themselves, not because they are really trying to make a difference.

At worse, the family that Mike describes is a trip to the pawnbrokers from having cash again. If you have an $800 phone in your hand you have not hit poverty. It's a liquid asset. Having liquid assets is the opposite of what poverty is, right?

The US does have a social safety net but it's all relative. To people in Cambodia, what is on offer in the US is a lot but to someone in the UK it is a little.

Maybe the family didn't want to drive the SUV to a soup kitchen. Maybe they don't qualify for food stamps. Maybe the SUV and the iPod were borrowed - or maybe they just weren't ready to let go of those things yet.

Who knows? For sure, I would not have offered them cash but would have inquired as to what the cash was needed for and offered that. I have done so in the past and in all but one case, I was able to make my way happily through the day without a trip to the shops because the panhanlder in question told me where to stick any non-cash contribution.

Anyway - just to show I'm not a complete miser - here's a bunch of blind orphans singing happy birthday to my wife and saying thank you for the lunch and goodies we brought that day as well as the contribution to the school.

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  #17 (permalink)
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xiaosi View Post
Agree Pete, in some parts of Asia there are syndicates of pan handlers....this is their work. They're hired by these knuckleheads to beg for money and they push the real needy out of their territories or even use physical harm to protect their turf.

The one's i do give money to are the guys and gals that are trying to earn a bit by playing the flute or other cool Chinese instruments...at least they're having a go.

Unfortunately sometimes the ones that really need it, or are going hungry have too much pride to ask for help.

One day when i'm back in civilization and retired i want to be able to give some of my time and volunteer to give back as well.

I had a sponsor child in Vietnam for over ten years, that's something I'd so again as well, through an Australian organization.

Same here - there's gangs that drop of severely physically/mentally disabled people in the streets at the start of the day and then pick them up (and the money they collected) at the end.

There was one poor girl for years - no eyes, just banging a tamborine all day, no real clue where she was or what she was doing.

It pulls at your heartstrings but if you contribute, you perpetuate their abuse. So in the end, the people you give money too are those somewhat less disabled but able to make some trinket or play some instrument to actually work in some way for the contribution.

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  #18 (permalink)
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DionysusToast View Post
Most people give to beggars because it makes them feel better themselves, not because they are really trying to make a difference.

At worse, the family that Mike describes is a trip to the pawnbrokers from having cash again. If you have an $800 phone in your hand you have not hit poverty. It's a liquid asset.

The US does have a social safety net but it's all relative. To people in Cambodia, what is on offer in the US is a lot but to someone in the UK it is a little.

Maybe the family didn't want to drive the SUV to a soup kitchen. Maybe they don't qualify for food stamps. Maybe the SUV and the iPod were borrowed - or maybe they just weren't ready to let go of those things yet.

Who knows? For sure, I would not have offered them cash but would have inquired as to what the cash was needed for and offered that. I have done so in the past and in all but one case, I was able to make my way happily through the day without a trip to the shops because the panhanlder in question told me where to stick any non-cash contribution.

Anyway - just to show I'm not a complete miser - here's a bunch of blind orphans singing happy birthday to my wife and saying thank you for the lunch and goodies we brought that day as well as the contribution to the school.

There's needy and there's NEEDY....

Of course those of us who do give are not naÔve and yes I admit it, it does make me feel better while knowing fully well that I probably made little difference in their life in the long run. But, not giving to those who beg, rather "kills" me and I am such a Karma freak that I prefer to give as oppose to walking away and thinking I was taken.

I agree that poverty is relative...I too traveled around the world, and saw things that made me appreciate even the smallest of things.

It was very nice of you to treat these deprived children. You earned lots of Karma.

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  #19 (permalink)
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mattz View Post
Of course those of us who do give are not naÔve and yes I admit it, it does make me feel better while knowing fully well that I probably made little difference in their life in the long run. But, not giving to those who beg, rather "kills" me and I am such a Karma freak that I prefer to give as oppose to walking away and thinking I was taken.

I agree that poverty is relative...I too traveled around the world, and saw things that made me appreciate even the smallest of things.

It was very nice of you to treat these deprived children. You earned lots of Karma.

Well - for sure, Karma-wise, giving is the best option!

What is making Mike feel bad and what actually absolves him is the use of the children. I think that's more calculated than accidental. If mom & dad were out there on their own with the sign, then I am sure less people would give.

When they involve the kids - I think it's overstepping certain boundaries and I'd be less inclined to believe.

Now - if they had put up a lemonade stand (with FDA approval) and put up a sign "family ran out of money - lemonade $1 a pop" - I think a lot more people would have stopped and given...

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DionysusToast View Post

There was one poor girl for years - no eyes, just banging a tamborine all day, no real clue where she was or what she was doing.

My g*d, some of the things you whitness here...all kinds of disfigurements and dismemberment's, its all a bit much at times. Sure makes me feel very fortunate....

now wheres that desert island???

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