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I have no doubt Gary or anyone else could teach me a lot. I am pretty sure you think the same. None of us have arrived.
Before I invest any time with him I think it is reasonable to ask him for more than one months proof of successful trading.
Note to Gary:
How about we finish this discussion via Skype next week?
If you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always gotten.
Celebrate because you executed your edge. Not because you won.
I am not soliciting though. It is completely your decision to follow whatever path you choose. There is nothing in it for me.
Ego boost? Like I need one. lol! If anything, I am more focused on keeping mine out of my trading. My ego has been the most destructive thing in my trading, by far.
I have nothing to prove to anyone. I trade my account, everyone else trades theirs. I post my experiences, and I enjoy that those posts have given me a tangible record of where I was, where I am, how I changed, and I have no reason to fabricate any of them. How would that help me?
I offered to mentor one or two people because I wanted to do it, because I would have liked to have had that myself. I never expect to receive anything from it other than personal satisfaction, and in some ways have already had moments of regret for having started down that path.
I am just choosing my own future, my own way of looking at the world. And that alone has more impact on trade results than any indicator or method out there. You don't have to believe me, I don't care who believes me, other than, me.
I am closing my journaling, on to bigger and better things. It is not anything bad, it is actually a wonderful thing. I felt the need to celebrate a little, felt very thankful, felt a need to solidify it some in a summary format.
I would not have become the trader that I have without finding futures.io (formerly BMT). I can't even begin to describe all of the benefits in one post. But I have spent a few years describing them here.
As I close my journal, I just wanted to acknowledge a few traders who have been there for me. In no order, and my little comment for each of you is only scratching the surface of what is also deeper than can be contained in a single post.
But, as minimal and trivial as it may seem, I mean it. THANK YOU;
@greenr (aka Mini Banker) – my trading little brother, for the experience of both of us helping each other, never really sure who was who in that dialogue... For being on the other side of many of my trades, I hope I showed you where to get out at least once. Lol! You will become one of the great traders of the world. Any time, mi casa, su casa.
@josh – for being one of the few to get my sense of humor, hanging in there with some of my crazy shit, keeping it fun for me to post. I forgive you for not being the pirate...
@researcher247 – for pushing me to see if I was ready, even when I wasn't. It caused me to explore some things I might not have otherwise. I almost made it last year, and then learned why I was not ready yet.
@Deucalion – for all the intellectual discussions and insights, and for being my futures.io (formerly BMT) drinking buddy. You know where to find me.
@Private Banker – for opening my eyes to a new reality, for showing me new ways to understand and organize things I already knew, but could not seem to put all the pieces together, for always being willing to help. Some day we will have that beer, Mikkeller, I hope
@dorschden – for sharing some incredible information on how to analyze market motion, being so willing to help and asking nothing in return. That was the first one-on-one experience of that for me here, and it caused me to be more open about sharing anything I had to offer.
@sharky – for being my first futures.io (formerly BMT) “friend”, getting me interested in posting to begin with. For sharing some off-record similarities in experiences. You are one of the original “stars” of futures.io (formerly BMT). I am still only a few hours away...
@zt379 – for feeding the other side of my brain, giving me someone to have conversations with that are so far removed from trading, and yet at the very core of it. My mind was stretched more by your posts than by anything else. I am tearing up some again, damn it...
@tigertrader – for sharing some very valuable wisdom, for taking your time to share it, and for being my partner in a covert side operation You earned your title, but I also wish for you to stay thirsty my friend. The best traders never lose that, as you already know.
@iqgod – for always reminding me that there is always someone on a similar path, and that sharing experiences is valuable, no matter what they are. For being someone who I felt believed in me more than I believed in myself.
@Surly – for reaching out with a phone call during one of my darkest times. There were very few who did.
@Panda Warrior – another brother-from-another-mother... “you cannot see the shadows if you keep your face to the sun”. Stay healthy.
@Rad4633 – for being as much of a friend outside futures.io (formerly BMT) as in. We will go 4-wheelin some day. And if you come to Florida, I'll show you where I get my asian massages.
@Big Mike – for having created a place like this, where traders come to help each other, learn from each other, share with each other. futures.io (formerly BMT) is the best trader website out there. What you have given back is far beyond what is “normal”, and you have helped so many traders it makes my efforts seem like a whisper...
I have been following your threads since the beginning and found your insight and philosophy on life and trading to be similar to mine. Even though our lives are very different I feel that I am on the same path as you as far as becoming a professional trader. Many of topics you posted in your previous journals have come into focus and now are understandable in the context they were written; in other words I am experiencing many of the same trials and realizations you have.
I bring this up because trading is a lonely business. There are very few people you can talk too outside in the real world who would even understand what your talking about or going through. This is what makes your threads so important because you have detailed your journey down to an emotional and physiological level and are able to translate those experiences into words. It is extraordinary really... I know your writings have made my journey better because every time I break through to a new level I can relate to something you have written. This has been helpful for me because I know that I am not alone and I am on the right path.
I heard a quote which went something like: "The first person through the wall always gets bloody". In many ways you are that person; Blazing the trail full steam ahead to provide context and reference for the rest of us. Thank you for being that person.
Robert
PS
I hope someday you consider writing a book about your experiences. I think you could bring great insight into the emotional toll of trading and what it takes to overcome it and how to keep moving forward to obtain your goal. IMO you already have the rough draft written here on futures.io (formerly BMT).
Edit: I wrote this before reading your final post.. irony perhaps.
Thanks Robert. I have discussed writing a book, maybe some day. My stepfather is an author and has published many, he has offered several times to handle the stuff beyond the basic writing.
futures.io (formerly BMT) is great for that too, it allows me to go back through things in chronological order, then just copy and paste. Although, many of my shared experiences were not in the correct order if I were to write something like that.
Right now, I am in a transitional period, where I just "got my first real job out of college". We pursue "degrees" in Trading (minor in Psychology), but the number of hours required, the course requirements, the years it will take, all of that is made so much more clear in a real college degree.
For me, someone had to insult me one day a few months ago, just to get my attention. (it is not here on futures.io (formerly BMT), and a long story)
And then, it was like I woke up. I was full steam ahead into pursuing my training and education that I nearly missed why I started it to begin with. Journaling became priority number one, trading priority number two. When I became a trader no longer mattered. I was so content riding the bus I completely missed my stop!
I am going to leave one more. To end this thread on a specific note.
What you see happening, through the past 6 months, is the process of something I have labeled for whatever reason, "The Riccochet Effect" (not spellchecked yet). And it has to do with a sudden jolt, and it works into shifting your environment by way of causing you to reject certain things almost overnight.
And that sounds so negative somtimes, thinking that becomes equivalent to saying "NO"
And I am not saying, that in many outside appearances, it may be just that. Screw outside apprearances.
That is not why I signed up. And why you did, is your thing. That shit does not matter.
You start by telling everyone else to do their thing (bet you were expecting something more there )... And I do mine.
AND THAT MUCH SHOULD BE A GIVEN. WTF PEOPLE. ( I AM ENTERING BAN TERRITORY, IF NOT ALREADY PAST IT.)
I have no ill will against any of you. Is that not yet completely obvious?
What more do you want me to do? Be judged by everyone, maybe start poll as to "Is GaryD a "good" trader?
FUCK OFF
And, I mean it, but still offer anyone who is interested to talk with me. For fucking free.
I am selling it.
I am not advertising it.
OK, so what is in it for me? meaning @GaryD to be absolutely clear?
WHO ELSE CAN YOU TALK WITH ABOUT THIS STUFF. VERY FEW GET IT. IT IS NOT A HIGH PROBABILITY FUCKING TRADE THAT YOU WILL GET GREAT CONVERSATION IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR GOOD ADVICE.
MYSELF INCLUDED.
So, to have a sopcial aspect in life, just as some dads teach soccer. I have no kids. I am 45 years old. I have made millions, and then lost them. I filed for bancruptcy..
My wife stayed with me through all of it. From partying jazz musician, to workaholic she was ready to divorce, to re-invented guy, to bancrupt guy, to reinventing guy... and then what was the future going to hold? For her? For us? I put that on the table to go this direction. Ask her.
What I just said, was...
1) breathing got heavier, adrenaline builds
2) I am not coming from anger, although it appears similar. It is , it sounds so fucking cliche, but "BEING"
That show about Wild Alaska is interesting. I have no desire, it would certainly be cold, primitive... but some like that way of lfe, to them it is living.
Trading is primitive.
You cannot escape where you are, until you are willing to risk ...
Things that might hurt a little. As if I was 6 years old.
No. Not that being wrong is "wrong". But if you are trying to categorize something, or provide definition to an event, that is not similar.
I love that you replied, I thrive on the humoristic approach. You have an open welcome. I may come to you... I am looking at Hawaii.
We are taking out first vacation since 2008. My wife wins, of course, or we would be in Micronesia soon. But not to live. Well, yes, but not that literally.
But Hawaii is in the pipeline, so to speak.
St Martin, the French side. That is where we will be, 9/16 - 9/21. 18 year anniversary. You should be jealous...
I am leaving on a good note, and only leaving this thread. I am not trying to be some magician who leaves the stage in some smokescreen...
You guys are putting too much emphasis on the wrong things.
